Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- "Look What You Made Me Do" - Taylor Swift (=) -- A third week for Taylor at the top, but her sales and streaming continue to tank. She has 69,000 sales, down 39 percent and 39.9 million U.S. streams, down 35 percent. Radio rises to an audience of 75 million, which is up 11 percent and is probably going to be the metric that keeps her around. But I'm suddenly starting to doubt if this is a song that's going to stick around for as long as I thought it would, given what decently average songs like "Despacito" and "Shape of You" accomplished. In fact, Taylor doesn't lead in any of the three aforementioned categories, which sometimes happens when one song is balanced enough to get enough points while the other songs are super lopsided towards one specific category. With this week, Sam Smith got a buttload of first week sales, Cardi B ruled on streaming, while radio is madly in love with Charlie Puth for some annoying reason. But none of those songs are doing well at all in the other categories, so Taylor gets a third week at No. 1. But I wonder how long it's going to last.
2- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)" - Cardi B (=) -- One would think that Cardi B would be in line to jump to the top if Taylor continues to tank. The problem is the song doesn't seem to want the crown. It also tanked on sales and streaming, albeit slightly less than Taylor in the latter category, thus gaining the top spot on streaming. And radio has never really done anything for the song. Rightfully so. No one needs to hear this poisonous monstrosity in their ears. I still don't know why it's here or why it ever got this high in the first place. I'm just waiting for it to collapse and die.
3- "1-800-273-8255" - Logic featuring Alessia Cara & Khalid (+2) -- Meanwhile, continuing to be an extremely pleasant surprise, Logic takes his suicide prevention song up even further on the charts to No. 3 thanks to continued solid gains in streaming and radio, even if sales are going the wrong direction. Wouldn't it be so awesome if this wound up being our No. 1 song? I would love that. As is, it's now the highest charting song for all three of these artists. Good for them!
4- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (-1) -- I don't know if I have that much more to say about "Despacito." It had it's time in the spotlight. A really long time in the spotlight. Now I'm just wondering if this is just going to be a weird fad that we experienced in 2017 or if this song will actually be remembered 10 years from now. Actual Latino countries might continue to remember the original version while here in America I think we'll quickly forget that this Bieber remix ever existed.
5- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (new) -- Man, I love this song. And I'm super happy it debuted in the top five. Well deserved for Sam Smith. Now it's going to experience a second week drop and disappear from the top 10, but I really hope that it ends up gaining traction and becomes the fall hit. More on this song down below in the new arrivals section. But if you're curious, the song arrives with 90,000 first week sales with streaming and radio numbers that I really hope catches up.
6- "Wild Thoughts" - DJ Khaled featuring Rihanna & Bryson Tiller (=) -- DJ Khaled and is gang stay at No. 6 this week. Shame. It deserves to fall faster. Make it happen America!
7- "Unforgettable" - French Montana featuring Swae Lee (+2) -- Oh hey! Here's a pleasant surprise! I was hoping that "Unforgettable" would hang on a bit longer and rise above the other songs that are falling out of the top 10. And it actually happened. America is finally starting to reject Charlie Puth and Imagine, who never belonged in the top 10 with their current songs.
8- "Attention" - Charlie Puth (-1) -- But for some reason, as I previously mentioned, Charlie Puth is king of radio right now. Radio stations need to give up their love affair with Charlie Puth and start playing songs that actually deserve to be played on the radio. It's one of those times where I'm glad the speakers on my car don't work.
9- "Believer" - Imagine Dragons (-1) -- That's right. Get the fetch out of here Dan Reynolds. And take your boring rock song and bland rock band with you. Go back to the drawing board and come up with something good. Because none of this nonsense you've brought us with your third album is deserving of this amount of praise. And it pains me to say that because I was once a huge fan.
10- "There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back" - Shawn Mendes (=) -- Why? I thought we were done with Shawn Mendes last week. I'm angry that he's hung in for one more week. Heck, I was angry that he showed up in the top 10 in the first place, but I'm really angry that he hasn't yet left.
Rising on the Hot 100:
11- "Slow Hands" - Niall Horan (+4) -- I don't really find this song that entertaining. It's kind of a boring song that you would expect from one of the lesser 1D members who has been left all alone. But man, if it means kicking out Charlie Puth, Imagine Dragons and/or Shawn Mendes, I will accept this with open arms. For a few weeks. Then it needs to go because it mainly puts me to sleep and makes me upset that the talented 1D members aren't finding success.
12- "Strip that Down" - Liam Payne featuring Quavo (+2) -- But hey, at least this song left the top 10. I can only hope that it stays out, because we don't need to encourage Liam to write songs like this. And we certainly don't need anymore Quavo in our lives.
14- "Feel it Still" - Portugal. The Man (+4) -- This, on the other hand, gets me super excited and giddy. In a year that's been mostly boring and dull in the top 10, wouldn't it be absolutely fantastic if we actually got a super good song that's much different from our usual affair to cross over into the top 10? I'm pulling for this! And I beg of you to buy it and/or stream it so that it can make the cut!
19- "Mi Gente" - J Balvin & Willy William (+3) -- J Balvin has finally cracked the top 20 with "Mi Gente" after being stuck in the 20's for several weeks. I'm honestly curious if this is heading to replace "Despacito" in the top 10 because it's slowly rising while "Despacito" slowly falls. If "Mi Gente" does crack top 10, I will be super impressed because that will mean it's a Latino song that managed to crack the top 10 WITHOUT an English remix. If it doesn't crack the top 10 and simply peaks here in the teens, well, I won't be super upset. It's had a good run that I'm satisfied with.
24- "I Get the Bag" - Gucci Mane featuring Migos (+7) -- NO! So much no!! Get these thugs out of here and send their awful song with them. Please don't let this be our next rap entry into the top 10.
26- "Young Dumb & Broke" - Khalid (+7) -- Khalid now has a top three hit thanks to Logic. Now can he get another entry into the top 10 completely on his own? I wouldn't be surprised. This seems like the song that the radio would fall in love with. And I won't be upset if it does. This kid certainly has a lot more talent and song writing abilities than that of Charlie Puth and Shawn Mendes. Combined. But I also won't be upset if this gets stuck around this region. It's alright and inoffensive, but not the best.
32- "What Ifs" - Kane Brown featuring Lauren Alaina (+8) -- We've almost arrived to the point in our lives where "Body Like a Back Road" is no longer the top country song. "What Ifs" is SO close to finally dethroning it. This isn't necessarily the country song that I would pick to take the title, but there could also be a whole lot worse.
40- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (+5) -- I keep expecting "Thunder" to start rising on the charts while crossing my fingers that it continues to stall out. It's suffered from a lot of indecisiveness. As if people can't decide if they want to accept it because of its awesome beat or reject it due to its completely lifeless and empty lyrics. I'm kinda hoping for the latter. Especially since I'm currently hoping all of Imagine Dragons' music just burns and dies. "Night Visions" just seems like such a long time ago.
47- "Unforgettable" - Thomas Rhett (+16) -- I still start singing French Montana's version of this song when I see this rising. Thomas Rhett has never been able to connect this song to my mind. This song being so forgettable is pretty bad.
71- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (+10) -- No time to panic yet. Halsey's new song hasn't broke top 70. But if this continues to rise, I will start complaining. Yes, I want more female representation. But I'd rather have GOOD female representation, not whatever this is.
5- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith -- I don't want to get too personal with this song, because I'm not intending on getting sympathy from readers and friends after they read this, but if you want to know how I'm feeling right now when it comes to my love life and relationships, this is the song to listen to. I was intrigued when I saw Sam Smith releasing a new song because the man genuinely has an excellent voice and fantastic writing abilities, but I kid you not, the second I started playing this, especially after knowing what the title was, it instantaneously connected with me. And the more I've listened to it, the more I've found that it connects with me on every level. Because it's my story about how I feel. About this song, Sam Smith said that he wanted to update everyone on his love life, which he admits still sucks and that sadly states that he is very single. At least when he wrote the song. Which, yeah, guess what? Same here.
Check out these lyrics, "I'm never going to let you close to me, even though you mean the most to me, 'cause every time I open up, it hurts. So I'm never going to get too close to you, even when I mean the most to you, in case you go and leave me in the dirt."
Or how about this, "I know you think I'm heartless. I know you think I'm cold. I'm just protectin' my innocence. I'm just protecting my soul."
Yep. I can just leave it at that. Not to mention the man's voice in the song is beyond beautiful and the music behind this sad love ballad is perfect. And I certainly have to give kudos to Sam Smith for being openly gay, yet perfect at writing love songs that connect with people regardless of their sexual orientation. Not that I would be upset at a love song specifically for people who are homosexual. Halsey did it with "Strangers" and I had zero problem with that aspect of the song. I just find it impressive that Sam can write a song that connects with all people. And do you know what Sam, for the sake of me and you both, I hope we each find the lover that we are looking for. Because, yeah, dating sucks. But it'll get better. Hopefully. In the meantime, using music to express what's honestly on your mind is something that I have a lot of respect for.
44- "Dusk Till Dawn" - Zayn featuring Sia -- Horse manure with a side of ice cream served for dinner? The idea of this song is so strange. We combine the efforts of the least talented member of 1D with perhaps my favorite female vocalist. It just doesn't seem right. Like me trying to country dance. But what would win out when I played the actual song? Zayn or Sia? Well, neither. Which makes me more conflicted. This isn't just Sia thrown in as an after thought with a third verse feature or something. For much of the song they are singing together. And Zayn sounds so lazy and bored while Sia sounds like she's doing her best to make the most out of these Zayn-y lyrics. Think of any song Zayn has ever written while off on his own and this is no better. He just wants to get together with this girl, not for the sake of love and relationships, but for her body and for the opportunity to sleep with her. But Sia puts a lot of emotion into anyways and almost sells it, but is held back by Zayn just trudging along with her, singing the song as lazily as he wrote it. Everyone once in a while he breaks out and channels his inner Sia, showing the world that he actually has a good voice. But then he goes back to his normal lazy self. So yeah, I don't know what to do with this.
62- "Love So Soft" - Kelly Clarkson -- Speaking of being conflicted, this new song from Kelly also sends me in so many different directions. Except this time around, it's just Kelly as opposed to Zayn and Sia combining to stretch me in different directions. Simply put, Kelly has a lot of fire and soul that she puts into the verses of this song that I really love. Then we slam on the brakes during the chorus, giving me whiplash as I'm suddenly subjected to a chorus that is perhaps the most boring and lazy chorus that Kelly has ever written, both in terms of the boring lyrics and the one-note music, which she ends with an annoying squeak. If the whole song were like the verses, then I think I would love this. But it's not. So I don't. I'm still intrigued by her upcoming album, though. The song "Move You," the other song she's released, is genuinely good. And if she's going soul, I hold out hope there are some good soul songs hidden in there. But it's a swing and a miss for me on the lead-off single. And you shouldn't be too shocked. Outside "Never Again" and "Catching My Breath," I haven't been impressed with a Kelly song since she released her album "Breakaway."
73- "I'll Name the Dogs" - Blake Shelton -- So Sam Smith is opening up to us that his love life sucks. Zayn, Sia and Kelly are doing... something. And Blake Shelton is busy naming dogs. OK, whatever Blake. I just hoped he was being literal with this and not referring to something else. Which thankfully he is being literal. He's saying that he's ready to marry this girl and he says that she can name the babies and he'll name the dogs. This after he lists off a whole bunch of stereotypical man/woman roles that they can do. I don't want to say this is being misogynistic or sexist, because it's not. But stereotypical is a good word. He can go do all his stereotypical guy things and she can do all the stereotypical girl things and they can live happily ever after in their boring, cliche country life. I will give Blake some credit for having more of a groove than he usually does, but I just had my eyebrow cocked the whole time while listening in a state of bored confusion. I don't connect with this at all and I don't know how people can. But whatever.
80- "Found You" - Kane Brown -- While Kane is currently shooting up the charts with "What Ifs," which is poised to take the top spot on the country charts, he also sneaks in this. I will say that this is less baffling and weird than Blake's song, we have our typical, guy meets girl country song from Kane. This time guy is in a bar, missing his girl, when guy's friend drags him out to a party guy doesn't want to go to where guy meets girl and is now happy. And I'm sure if we told the next part of this story it would be a lather, rinse, repeat sort of situation. Kudos for being original, Kane. NOT. Throw in your typical non-country country rock stuff and we got ourselves a 2017 country song.
81- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump -- Lil Pump? Are we for real? Lil Wayne made sense as a rapper name. Lil Uzi Vert didn't and neither did Lil Yachty. Now we have another Lil joining the group with the dumbest name of them all. Lil Pump. Like seriously, who comes up with these? And why? It just sounds like a rapper name that a 12-year-old punk kid would give himself when he's trying to be cool... shortly after learning that he can swear. Oh, you want me to talk about this song? OK. It sucks. This whatever the heck he is does everything I hate about modern club rappers. Trying to feed off Migos while repeating his horrible title over and over in between talking about sleeping with women, including his teacher, while doing drugs, selling drugs, not caring about relationships. Just fame, fortune, drugs and sex. And we're encouraging this punk to keep going. Ouch. I hate 2017 sometimes. I hope this dies.
85- "No Limit" - G-Eazy featuring A$AP Rocky & Cardi B -- Who gave these three permission to get together and write a song? Granted, I'll take this over whatever that Lil Pump song was, but that's not saying too much. Also, to be fair to G-Eazy, I haven't hated the stuff that he's done. He just kinda bores me. When he teams up with someone talented, it's tolerable. But when he teams up like this, it's not. I don't like anyone who puts a dollar sign in their name these days and I hate how we have two Nicki Minajes corrupting the music industry. Again, slight credit goes to this song having more of a flow and bounce than some rap songs. But the content is the same boring, awful rap stuff. Listening to these words doesn't please my ears.
98- "Pills and Automobiles" - Chris Brown featuring Yo Gotti, A Boogie wit da Hoodie & Kodak Black -- Speaking of people that shouldn't get together, what in the heck is happening here? An awful rapper combined with a boring rapper combined with the rapper that has the world's worst name combined with another awful rapper. No way this works out. Haven't we all learned by now that Chris Brown can't rap and can't write good songs? And auto-tuning his voice while bringing in all his friends isn't going to help anything. He starts this song by repeating the word wet 14 times. And that sets the tone for the rest of the song because you know exactly what's going to happen.
99- "Let Me Go" - Hailee Steinfeld & Alesso featuring Florida Georgia Line & watt -- Well that's a mouthful to type up and try to digest. Hailee the pop singer, Alesso the EDM artist, Florida Georgia Line the country duo and watt the guitarist. So let me break this down for you. This is Hailee being desperate. Because that's what she's turned into in regards to her music career. A desperate pop singer. In this song, she's singing a boring breakup song that we've heard a thousand times, but somehow she convinced Florida Georgia Line to come in a do a quick verse while letting Alesso and watt take care of all the music and instrumentation behind her. Hailee isn't bad in this. Her voice is good. But she has so much potential that I feel she is just wasting right now. And if you're going to bring in a country duo, then commit to it. They're barely in the song. Their only purpose is to add a name to the song to get sales because they certainly add nothing to the song. Alesso and watt do fine with the production, but Alesso being one of my favorite EDM artists has done much better. If this was a head-banging Alesso song that uses Hailee's voice, then I'd be totally down with this. But that's not what it is. This is boring and desperate where no one involved seemed like they really cared.