Thursday, January 19, 2017

DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - January 28, 2017

It's that time of week again for me to give you my thoughts on the new Billboard charts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to mix things up in the future and do different things here, but for now this is what I've decided to stick to. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!


Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:




1- "Shape of You" - Ed Sheeran (new) -- Four weeks in January. Four different No. 1 hits. Three of those being brand new No. 1 hits (the second week was "Black Beatles" returning to the top). We haven't had that fast of a turnover to start the year since 1991, before the Nielsen SoundScan existed. And each of these No. 1 hits included one or more artists getting their very first No. 1 hit as a singer. Ed Sheeran has written a few songs that went No. 1 ("Love Yourself" by Justin Bieber being the most notable), but this is his first No. 1 hit as a singer. I'll talk about my opinion of the song down below, but congrats Ed! This is definitely a preferable song over "Bad and Boujee" or "Black Beatles" by a long shot. Let's just hope it can hold onto the spot.

2- "Bad and Boujee" - Migos featuring Lil Uzi Vert (-1) -- Although I wouldn't be surprised if this went back to No. 1 next week. Notable debuts almost always take a huge hit in their second week. "Shape of You" debuted with 240,000 sales and will be dropping to just over 100,000 next week. That could be enough to hang on, but it might be close. Let's hope it is because an awful rap song made popular because some of the nonsensical lyrics somehow became a popular internet meme is an embarrassment to this country. But hey, America has been good at embarrassing itself recently, so what's new.

3- "Black Beatles" - Rae Sremmurd featuring Gucci Mane (-1) -- At least we can confidently say this embarrassment is done with the top spot for good. Let's not only keep it that way, but let's also let this drop out of the top 10 asap.

4- "Starboy" - The Weeknd featuring (=) -- "Starboy" remains consistent despite Ed debuting above it, meaning it actually gained some traction, which is a good sign. Wouldn't it be cool if it went back above "Bad and Boujee" and "Black Beatles"?

5- "Closer" - The Chainsmokers featuring Halsey (-2) -- One more week in the top three and this would've tied Bruno for longest stay in the top three. Well, that looks like it's been permanently squelched. No way this goes back to the top three now. But the count in the top five is now 22 weeks for "Closer," three weeks away from tying that record. Speaking of records, "Closer" has now tallied 24 consecutive weeks in the top 10 after debuting in the top 10. That break's the record of 23 weeks set by Justin Bieber's "Love Yourself."

6- "Castle on the Hill" - Ed Sheeran (new) -- How about another record? No artist has ever debuted two songs in the top 10 at the same time. Beyonce and J. Cole came close last year, but didn't make it. Congrats again, Ed! This isn't the song being promoted to pop radio. That honor belongs to "Shape of You," meaning this song will most likely disappear quickly from the Hot 100. But it was kinda cool for Ed to get this honor.

7- "24K Magic" - Bruno Mars (-2) -- Bruno has been booted from the top 5. I don't know if I see him making it back either, although he'll probably jump back up to No. 6 next week when "Castle on the Hill" drops out.

8- "Don't Wanna Know" - Maroon 5 featuring Kendrick Lamar (-1) -- Two songs from Ed debut above Maroon 5, but this only falls one spot, which has to be considered a win for Maroon 5. And a slap in the face to the rest of us that want this song to go away.

9- "Side to Side" - Ariana Grande featuring Nicki Minaj (-3) -- That does mean the real loser this week belongs to Ariana and Nicki, which is a win for me. I'd be glad if this song disappears next week.

10- "Bad Things" - Machine Gun Kelly & Camila Cabello (=) -- The other win is for "Bad Things," which remains consistent despite the two songs from win. I'll take it.


Rising on the Hot 100:





12- "I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)" - Zayn & Taylor Swift (+2) -- I'm not surprised to see this making gains after its initial drop. I'd predict this replaces "Castle on the Hill" in the top 10 next week. Then after "Fifty Shades Darker" returns and goes away, let's hope this song follows it. Real music from Taylor would be appreciated. It's about time for her next album.

16- "Bounce Back" - Big Sean (+2) -- I seem to remember Big Sean having a habit of being stalled just before hitting the top 10. Although I prefer this over "Moves," let's hope this continues that trend and gets stopped here in the teens.

19- "Love on the Brain" - Rihanna (+2) -- Rihanna isn't gaining as fast as you would think a Rihanna song would. But she's still gaining. Let's hope this stays away from the top 10. I'm sick of Rihanna being so popular.

31- "Say You Won't Let Go" - James Arthur (+6) -- This on the other hand I'd be fine with gaining more traction. Although I don't think it will hit top 10, either. This probably gets stalled in the 20's or 30's.

38- "Water Under the Bridge" - Adele (+5) -- But for the love of everything that is good in the world, let's invite Adele into the top 10 again. This is one of the better songs on the charts right now. Let's not push it away and continue to let it rise.

42- "iSpy" - KYLE featuring Lil Yachty (+20) -- OK, I get why this song is gaining a ton of traction. It's super catchy. But it's very typical of our generation, who obviously don't give a crap about lyrical content. See the extreme popularity of "Broccoli" last year, another piece of trash song lyrically with a catchy beat.

44- "Both" - Gucci Mane featuring Drake (+7) -- I don't get this song at all. It's not catchy at all and has horrible lyrics. Gucci Mane and Drake need to disappear.

45- "Party" - Chris Brown featuring Usher & Gucci Mane (+8) -- Speak of the devil. If you ever play this song at a party, I will walk up to you, slap you in the face and leave immediately. You've been warned.

51- "Rockabye" - Clean Bandit featuring Sean Paul & Anne-Marie (+10) -- So happy to see this continue to gain. Top 50 next, right?

60- "Alone" - Marshmello (+12) --  A 12 spot jump for "Alone"? Heck yes! I've been expecting this song to go away, but I'm glad it's sticking around!

62- "Moves" - Big Sean (+15) -- If this goes top 50, someone is going to get slapped. "Bounce Back" is tolerable. This song might be the worst of the year so far.

63- "I Got You" - Bebe Rexha (+31) -- This I can support. Not Bebe's best, but a pop song that I am totally fine with taking over the radio. Not great, but still better than most of this other stuff that is being played.

87- "Water" - Ugly God (+13) -- I can't get mad at this song yet. It's only at No. 87. But if it gets too much higher, I will start throwing a fit. Not only is this a really bad rap song, but it's only half of a bad rap song, which screams super lazy. Let's not encourage a lazy rapper who doesn't even know how to finish his bad music.


New Arrivals:





1- "Shape of You" - Ed Sheeran -- Now for my opinion of this song. I'll admit that I'm a fan of Ed Sheeran. I think he's a great talent. And while I think this song is far from his best, I do think it's good. A well-written, super catchy beat that will get stuck in your head for hours. My problem, though, is his stating that he is in love with the shape of the girl, not her. That's a superficial love based on attraction alone, which I roll my eyes at. I don't think I'd ever walk up to a girl and tell her that I'm in love with her shape or her body. But as I said, still better than the other songs that have dominated the No. 1 spot recently, so I hope this holds over until we get a worthy No. 1 hit.

6- "Castle on the Hill" - Ed Sheeran -- This on the other hand is more classic Ed. "Shape of You" seems more like the empty, catchy song to promote as the first single. This song, while not quite as upbeat and catchy, has much more substantial lyrics as he's reflecting on the old memories of his teenage years and how good they made him feel, despite the fact they probably did things the wrong way and how he enjoyed being with the girl (assuming that's who he's referring to when he says, "I miss the way you made me feel"). I know they aren't promoting this as the first single, but I kinda hope it becomes the second single after "Shape of You" has lived out its Billboard life. I'm intrigued by Ed's new album "Divide."

77- "Location" - Khalid -- I about had a heart attack when I saw this, because I initially thought it was another awful DJ Khaled song. Nope. Not DJ Khaled. Just Khalid. With an "i." Pronounced "Kuh-leed" according to his music video. And this is nothing like DJ Khaled's music. This is a smooth, relaxing R&B song from a brand new artist out of El Paso, who may only be 18 years old. I'm sure we'll learn more about him in the coming months or weeks because this song is pretty dang good. I hope it catches on!

89- "Drinkin' Too Much" - Sam Hunt -- Funny story. I have a new roommate named Sam Hunt. And now we have a new song from the country singer Sam Hunt. But apparently Sam Hunt has been drinking too much. And it sounds like he was drinking too much when he wrote and recorded this song because it's a boring, kinda country song that's a lot more forgettable that most of his other music that I've listened to, which isn't that great in the first place.

100- "If the Boot Fits" - Granger Smith --  ...then wear it, right? As if that isn't one of the most cliche things you could call your country song. And you wonder why mainstream country often bores me. The song is about as cliche as you would think after reading that title.

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