Wednesday, February 8, 2017

DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - February 18, 2017

It's that time of week again for me to give you my thoughts on the new Billboard charts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to mix things up in the future and do different things here, but for now this is what I've decided to stick to. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:




1- "Shape of You" - Ed Sheeran (+1) -- Oh thank heavens! Ed Sheeran is back at No. 1! I'm not the biggest fan of this song. I prefer "Castle on the Hill" much more, but this is a fun song that's much more deserving than "Bad and Boujee." Now the question is what happens from here on out? Can Ed keep that No. 1 spot or will "Bad and Boujee" wrestle it back away? Or can Zayn and Taylor send their song to No. 1 given that the movie it's written for comes out this upcoming week along with the album? Or here's a dark horse question. Can Lady Gaga hit No. 1 next week? Her post Super Bowl sales are incredible. Kworb.com is currently estimating "Million Reasons" to sell 180,000 this week, which should easily send it to the top of the sales charts. Lack of streaming and radio might make that answer a no, but watch out. "Born This Way," "Bad Romance" and "Poker Face" might also re-enter the Hot 100 for a week as well.

2- "Bad and Boujee" - Migos featuring Lil Uzi Vert (-1) -- The addition of Pandora to Billboard's formula last week (yes, that affected the charts last week, not this week -- my mistake) as well as Billboard's adjustment to the formula is apparently hurting the rap genre most, which I'm totally fine with. Most rap songs on the charts suck and thankfully we only had five new Migos songs from their new album debut this week as opposed to the whole album debuting like was the case with Drake, J. Cole and The Weeknd. Streaming for "Bad and Boujee" is still frustratingly high, which is why I wouldn't be surprised to see it steal that top spot again, but I hope that's not the case. I really want the streaming to start dropping so that the song can start dropping, too.

3- "I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)" - Zayn & Taylor Swift (+2) -- The release of the music video along with a discount on iTunes sent this song rising on the charts this week. I thought it had potential to go as high as No. 1 this week, but "Shape of You" and "Bad and Boujee" were too strong. With the release of "Fifty Shades Darker" into theaters in accordance with the release of the "Fifty Shades Darker" soundtrack album, could this challenge Ed for No. 1 in the next week or two? Radio is catching on as well, so I would wager a yes to that. Maybe not next week, but soon.

4- "Bad Things" - Machine Gun Kelly & Camilla Cabello (=) -- I expect this song to be stuck at No. 4 for a while given the strength of our top three. For the sake of "Bad and Boujee" falling and not necessarily my love for this song, I would hope this jumps up a spot to No. 3, sending "Bad and Boujee" falling out of the top five, but that might be more hopeful thinking than anything.

5- "Closer" - The Chainsmokers featuring Halsey (-2) -- How about another tied record this week? After tying "Uptown Funk" for the most weeks in the top three last week with 21 weeks, "Closer" now ties "Uptown Funk" and LeAnn Rimes' "How Do I Live" for most weeks in the top five with 25 weeks. One more week in the top five, which seems fairly likely at this point, will make it so "Closer" stands alone in that category. With 27 weeks in the top 10 now, we are now just five weeks away from "Closer" tying LeAnn Rimes' record of 32 weeks in the top 10. One final record. "Closer" has spent the last 25 weeks at the top of the Hot Dance/Electronic Songs chart, which was created in 2013. One more week on top of there will tie the 26 week record set by Avicii's "Wake Me Up!" 

6- "Don't Wanna Know" - Maroon 5 featuring Kendrick Lamar (+1) -- And why does this continue to rise? I was happy to see it about to fall out a few weeks ago and now it's been on a resurgence. It's current No. 6 placing is it's peak. Let's keep it that way.

7- "Starboy" - The Weeknd featuring Daft Punk (+1) -- I'm happy to see "Starboy" jumping up a spot this week. Although I assume that has more to due with "Black Beatles" bleeding hard rather than "Starboy" seeing a resurgence, which I'm totally fine with.

8- "Fake Love" - Drake (+1) -- Same story with the rise of this song. I don't think it rose this week due to it's own merits, but rather due to the fall of "Black Beatles." At least I hope not. I want Drake to disappear from the music scene. He's the most undeserved superstar possibly ever.

9- "Black Beatles" - Rae Sremmurd featuring Gucci Mane (-3) -- Let's all stand and give a round of applause to this bleeding hard. It dropped three spots last week and three spots this week. I hope it continues that trend and drops out of the top 10 next week.

10- "Scars to Your Beautiful" - Alessia Cara (=) -- Sadly I don't think this song has a super long life in the top 10 ahead of it, but Alessia did perform this on Saturday Night Live recently and given that "Starboy," "Fake Love" and "Black Beatles" aren't super strong right now, I could see this jumping several spots next week. At the very least this should stay stagnant at the bottom of the top 10 for a while given that most songs between No. 11 and 19 are fairly stagnant.

Rising on the Hot 100:




11- "Paris" - The Chainsmokers (+2) -- I totally expect this to replace "Black Beatles" in the top 10 next week. And yes, that will be an improvement. But as I detailed when this debuted, I'm not happy with this song. I like The Chainsmokers, but it appears that fame has gotten to their heads as they've been very lazy recently. "Paris" is their laziest song to date. If it becomes the next "Closer," I will be one of the first to start throwing a fit.

16- "I Feel it Coming" - The Weeknd featuring Daft Punk (+2) -- I feel this coming for the top 10! But not fast enough. I hope this doesn't get stuck just below the top 10. That would be kinda sad. The top 10 could use a little more life in it right now and if "Starboy" is set to leave soon, let's replace it with another song by The Weeknd and Daft Punk.

19- "T-Shirt" - Migos (+18) -- Gross. I assume this took a huge bump because of Migos' new album. Let's hope No. 18 is where this song peaks. If this went No. 1, I would be way more upset about that than I was with "Bad and Boujee" hitting No. 1. Even thinking about that gives me nightmares.

24- "Rockabye" - Clean Bandit featuring Sean Paul & Anne-Marie (+8) -- Top 25! That's a huge win for me with this song! I have nightmares of this getting stuck around No. 20. Clean Bandit deserves a huge hit here in America and I hope this is the one. "Rather Be" only hitting No. 10 was a huge shame. I don't know why we haven't fully accepted Clean Bandit like the rest of the world already has done a long time ago.

37- "Down" - Marion Hill (+15) -- Apparently this song's huge jump last week wasn't a fluke after all. I'm happy about this, but I'm certainly surprised. This is a very simple, yet infectious little tune that doesn't seem to be the type of song to catch on with the general public. I thought it would be a song that would stick around for a few weeks in the bottom half of the Billboard charts before dropping out, not a song that would go top 40 in it's third week. But hey, let's keep it going!

39- "Congratulations" - Post Malone featuring Quavo (+19) -- Oh get this the fetch out of here. Not one person on Earth likes Post Malone. "White Iverson" was one of the most hated songs of the last couple of years among music critics. I'm not even as harsh on Post Malone as some others. He's the lesser of a few evils on the charts right now, but even I would say that another top 40 hit is completely undeserved. This song is pretty bad and I'm disgusted that it jumped 19 spots this week.

41- "Play that Song" - Train (+19) -- Apparently a lot of people also hate this song as well as his whole album. I haven't listened to Train's album yet. That's on my list of things to do. But I actually enjoy this song. Perhaps it jumps based on the album's success, but personally I would like it to get even higher. It's nothing super special or deep, but it's a fun song.

46- "Make Me (Cry)" - Noah Cyrus featuring Labrinth (+9) -- I'm still wondering where Noah's older sister Miley disappeared to when it comes to the music scene. I feel she's been working on that sixth studio album for a long time now while being distracted by things such as being re-engaged to Liam and doing stuff for The Voice. Perhaps that's a good thing. Noah herself, though? While she's not as crazy as Miley, she's also not as talented if I'm being honest. This song is very meh for me.

57- "That's What I Like" - Bruno Mars (+25) -- I keep having to remind myself that "Uptown Funk" was a Mark Ronson song that only featured Bruno Mars. Then everything makes sense. Bruno right before "Uptown Funk" wasn't very good and Bruno after "Uptown Funk" isn't good either. I wasn't a fan of "24K Magic." I'm happy it never hit No. 1 and is now gone from the top 10. This song is even worse. In fact, I find this super annoying. It's surging right now, but I hope it slows down before it gets to the top 10. 

61- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi featuring Daddy Yankee (+16) -- How high can a Latin song go on the charts? What's the highest that a song completely in Spanish has hit on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100? Perhaps I should do some research on that and get back to you because I honestly don't know.

64- "Issues" - Julia Michaels (+23) -- Please let this song be a hit! Based on this and her feature on last year's Kygo song "Carry On," I think I really like Julia Michaels. I was happy to see this jump so high in its sophomore frame.

69- "The Weekend" - Brantley Gilbert (+10) -- In our huge country surge last week thanks to Billboard's changes, there were actually a handful of country songs that I claimed to enjoy. This was definitely not one of them. But for some reason this is the one that gets the huge gain this week? I don't understand.

New Arrivals:




38- "Body Like a Back Road" - Sam Hunt -- So far the year's worst country song belongs to Sam Hunt's "Drinkin' Too Much." Luckily that song is already off the charts as a flop, so Mr. Hunt follows that up with this, which isn't much better. He just spends the whole song singing about how hot this girl is and how much he enjoys sleeping with her, because her body is like a back road to him, which is a weird comparison if I'm being honest. If you tell that too a girl, even if that girl is your wife, is she going to take that as a compliment or an insult? I think Sam Hunt is trying to write a sexy country song, but it just comes off as weird and awkward. Then he says he's going to take it slow as fast as he can. Say what?

48- "Slippery" - Migos featuring Gucci Mane -- I was really nervous that I would have to cover this whole album. Luckily I only have to cover five of the songs, so let's get these over with. "Slippery" is a song that I don't even really understand. I suppose Migos' style is to interconnect a bunch of small, little phrases, but it doesn't even feel like rap to me. It's just annoying. In "Slippery," most of the little phrases are separated by an annoying sound. When Gucci Mane comes in, it's almost refreshing because he's actually rapping and not annoying me like a trio of 10-year-olds. And his short verse isn't even good.

58- "Kelly Price" - Migos featuring Travis Scott -- I don't know why they are referencing Kelly Price in this song. Out of all the singers they could choose to sing about, what makes Kelly Price unique? She's never even had a top 10 hit on the Hot 100. Her highest song went to No. 12 in 1998. And that was her very first single. This is just a song about sex and drugs (surprise) where they tell the girl they are going to make her sing like Kelly Price. I don't even want to know what that means. The intro to this song is actually slightly less annoying, but it doesn't take them very long to get to their annoying short phrases followed by echoes and random sounds. This time around Travis Scott's verse is plain out disgusting and actually the worst part of the song.

62- "Call Casting" - Migos -- This Migos song has no featured artist. Just our three favorite rappers. "Slippery" and "Kelly Price" both start with Quavo, the most annoying of the three. "Call Casting" starts with Takeoff, the least annoying of the three, which is a mild plus. It took me longer to hit the annoyance level of the other songs, but we did get there. Short phrases, echoes and annoying songs filling a song that doesn't make much sense. They reference Zaxby's several times, which made me want to go to Zaxby's right now because that place is pretty great. At the same time, though, it also made me slightly offended that the referenced Zaxby's because I don't even want to know what they meant by it, if anything.

66- "Run Up" - Major Lazer featuring PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj -- I really like Major Lazer, the electronic trio consisting of Diplo, Jillionaire and Walshy Fire. Yeah, weird names, I know. That's why I'm glad they stick to Major Lazer. They've done songs like "Lean On," "Powerful" "Light it Up," "Cold Water" and "Believer," all of which are either good or great. But then they occasionally throw out a major dud like this. First off, the actual electronic element isn't even that good. This isn't a song you can dance to. There's not even a drop in the song. Just some random electronic noises in the background while we listen to our Drake wannabe, PARTYNEXTDOOR, rapping and then repeating the line "I'm a run up on you" over and over. Throw in there a verse by Nicki Minaj, one of my all-time least favorite rappers, and we have ourselves a huge stinker. Like what the fetch Major Lazer? Y'all are much better than this!

71- "I'm Better" - Missy Elliott featuring Lamb -- Well here's a controversial opinion. I don't get Missy Elliot. I went through my whole Billboard Project on this blog and when I hit the 2000's, Missy Elliot was everywhere. And apparently everyone loved her. I never listened to her stuff back then and when I went through the 2000's on this blog, none of her stuff stood out to me as anything great. Granted, after listening to five Migos songs from this week as well as that awful Major Lazer song featuring Nicki, this is definitely a breath of fresh air as Missy actually knows how to rap. If you force me to listen to a rap song, I'll pick this over just about any rap song on the charts right now, but I still don't think there's a whole lot of substance here. The hooks by Lamb, whoever the heck he is, aren't good and the verses and bridges by Missy are just her bragging about how awesome and hot she is and how many fancy cars and cool people she knows. I understand if you're a fan of Missy, you'll agree that she's awesome and better than everyone, so perhaps you'll buy into this one. Like I said, I prefer this over most of the crap on the charts, but I'll still take a pass. 

72- "Get Right Witcha" - Migos -- Another pet peeve of mine with rappers. It's "get right with you." Not "get right witcha." Spell it right. Purposely misspelled words and grammatical errors flooding through your songs is really annoying, not cool. In this version of the song, which again is mostly Quavo, the more annoying of the three, they spend a lot of time bragging about how they slept with lots of other guys' wives. And that's me censoring the lyrics. No Migos, that makes you guys idiotic punks, not cool rappers. Only one more of these songs.

88- "Scared to Be Lonely" - Martin Garrix & Dua Lipa -- Finally! I get to talk about a good song this week. It's really frustrating when there's a whole lot of new releases and they are all mostly crap. Despite only being 20 years old, Martin Garrix has been one of my favorite DJs ever since he released "Animals" in 2013. He consistently puts out quality music. It's either good or great for Martin Garrix and never bad or even average. He continues his winning streak here with Dua Lipa as his featured vocalist. I liked the idea of Dua Lipa crossing over to the U.S., but "Blow My Mind" was really annoying to me, mostly because of the "mwah" sound throughout, so I'm glad she's redeemed herself here. This isn't as upbeat and bombastic as some of Martin Garrix's other songs. You can't necessarily blast this at a dance party and get everyone jumping up and down like some of his other songs do, but in this case the more soft approach works and there's a surprising amount of emotion in the lyrics. The song is about a relationship that isn't working out, but yet they keep coming back to each other anyways and Dua Lipa is trying to figure out why exactly that is. I like it. 

93- "Culture" - Migos featuring DJ Khaled -- And we end this annoying streak of five Migos songs with my favorite rapper, DJ Khaled. And yes, that was supposed to be sarcastic. Because all he does, even in his own songs, is yell at me in the intro, let everyone else do the actual rapping, then yell at me in the outro. Which is exactly the case. He just calls me a... well, I'm not going to repeat it... for doubting Migos. But it just makes me want to go punch him in the face. Luckily this is the shortest song of the five, but surrounding their same annoying crap with DJ Khaled yelling at me makes this the worst of the bunch.

99- "El Amante" - Nicky Jam -- Is it just me or are we getting a lot of these Latin songs on the charts recently? It makes me wish I knew Spanish so that I can join in on the party and appreciate the songs more. Instead I have to focus on the music and the vocals without knowing the lyrics, which is OK. This song is a slower one with enough of a beat to have a nice groove. Nicky Jam's vocals are very smooth and sweet. If I were to go Latin dancing, which I've actually done on many occasions, I would enjoy myself if this song turned on.

100- "Some Kind of Drug" - G-Eazy featuring Marc E. Bassy -- This song almost works for me. Compared to all the trash I've listened to just this week alone, this is certainly tolerable. We have Marc E. Bassy starting things off on the hook on the song feels smooth and mellow. Then we have G-Eazy on the verses as the two go back and forth, contrasting each other very nicely. At least in theory. A song with just Marc E. Bassy's part would be boring, so you need a rap contrast to make it work, but G-Eazy's rap just doesn't do it for me. He's not annoying as heck like Migos are with their rap and he doesn't make me feel dirty disgusting as if I need to take a shower after listening, but the lyrical content just doesn't work. He's just talking about having sex with his girl. And that's pretty much it.

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