Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- "Shape of You" - Ed Sheeran (=) -- Five weeks at No. 1 for Ed and his reign isn't coming to an end any time soon. We don't have any super strong contenders to take over in the next month or so. Plus, his new album "÷" (I got super fancy with that one -- had to go to the character map for that symbol) is due Friday, which should give him yet another boost in addition to the plenty of boosts that he's already had.
2- "Bad and Boujee" - Migos featuring Lil Uzi Vert (+1) -- This continues to be a streaming monster, which is why it retakes the No. 2 spot. It's declining in streaming, but not very fast. And for some reason this is gaining a bit a radio. I have no idea why. This better not play on any radio station I'm listening to.
3- "I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)" - Zayn & Taylor Swift (-1) -- As I foresaw last week, the huge drop in sales this week following it's boost after the movie and album release, sends this back down to No. 3. I have a feeling this is where it stays. If anything, it might go down because Bruno's new song continues to gain good momentum.
4- "That's What I Like" - Bruno Mars (+3) -- I think this jumped up to No. 4 due to the weakness of other songs that were above it as the Grammy boost has worn off and, even though this also dropped in sales, it didn't drop nearly as much as other songs. Plus this is getting a lot of momentum on radio and streaming in addition to its fairly consistent sales. It has a while to go before it jumps ahead of the three songs ahead of it, but once Ed starts to slow down a bit, this could conceivably be our next No. 1 hit.
5- "Closer" - The Chainsmokers featuring Halsey (=) -- What in the heck? Even I'm shocked this week that this STAYED in the top five. It got a Grammy's boost last week, but I thought that it would at least drop down to No. 7 or so after that boost went away, especially since "Paris" is getting a good push AND they have a new collaboration with Coldplay that I'll talk about in the new arrivals section. You would think that this would be done by now. But nope, the juggernaut continues to dominate. It's now extended it's record run in the top five to 27 weeks and has now tied "Uptown Funk" for the second longest stay in the top 10 with 30 weeks. And remember, this debuted in the top 10, which means it easily has the record of longest stay in the top 10 for a song that debuted in the top 10. It's only two weeks away from tying LeAnn Rimes' 32-week record of the longest stay in the top 10 that she set with "How Do I Live." I'm beginning to think that record is in trouble.
6- "Paris" - The Chainsmokers (+5) -- And The Chainsmokers go back to back in the top 10 with the return of "Paris," which I was anticipating would happen after everyone's Grammy boost went away. Despite my dislike of this song, The Chainsmokers released a remix EP of the song (a common occurrence in the EDM world). All of the remixes are significantly better. They may not change Taggart's weak vocals or the lackluster lyrics, but they transform the beat into something that the song should've been in the first place. Specifically you should check out the LOUDPVCK remix, the FKYA remix and the VINAI remix. I really enjoy all three of those.
7- "Love on the Brain" - Rihanna (+1) -- Rihanna still doesn't have a music video for this. Not even a lyric video. It almost seems like she's not even trying to promote it, but lucky for her the radio is absolutely eating this up, so she might not have to. Although if she does release a music video and push this hard, this could be her next No. 1 hit. Not that I think she needs another No. 1 hit, but I'm just saying.
8- "Chained to the Rhythm" - Katy Perry (-4) -- I always see comments on the internet from people claiming a song has flopped when it debuts high then falls in its second week. I always laugh at these comments because they obviously don't follow the charts super close. Every song that has a bid debut falls hard in sales in their second week. The fact that Katy stayed in the top 10 in week two is a good sign. This is a solid hold. This is getting a lot of good radio traction, so it might be here to stay. Although the next few weeks will tell us the real story here, so stay tuned.
9- "Bounce Back" - Big Sean (+1) -- And Big Sean bounces back. Up to No. 9. With not a lot of movement just below the top 10, this might hang around for a bit in the bottom half of the top 10.
10- "Bad Things" - Machine Gun Kelly & Camila Cabello (-4) -- Ouch. This song went the opposite direction of what I was expected. It held well against the huge Grammy push, but ended up falling down with them instead of staying consistent. Minor surprise there, but I'm not super upset.
Rising on the Hot 100:
12- "It Ain't Me" - Kygo & Selena Gomez (+71) -- Oh hey there Kygo! I knew this was going to get a huge boost this week because it debuted at No. 93 after only a few days. I didn't expect it to jump all the way up to No. 12 it its first full week, though. Very impressive! It's going to take a huge fall next week in its second full week. See my comment just above with Katy's song. Second week falls happen. But I really hope this hangs around and becomes a hit.
22- "Body Like a Back Road" - Sam Hunt (+5) -- Why in the fetch are people listening to this song? The fact that it debuted super high is bad enough. But gaining traction and now flirting with the top 20? Ouch! That hurts! I hope this is where the song peaks. It's a horrible song. Comparing a girl's body to a back road gets more awkward and wrong the more you think about it.
23- "Cold" - Maroon 5 featuring Future (+19) -- This is going to be a hit, isn't it? Another top 10 entry for Maroon 5 that no one will remember even existed in a year from now. But thanks to the radio's love affair with Maroon 5, we have to suffer through constant mediocrity. And the worst part of it is Maroon 5 is taking Future with him.
25- "Down" - Marian Hill (+5) -- We're close to the top 20 here! Let's keep it going!
35- "Swang" - Rae Sremmurd (+22) -- NO!!! STOP IT!!!!! DON'T GIVE THESE GUYS ANOTHER HIT! IT WILL ENCOURAGE THEM TO WRITE MORE MUSIC THAT WE WILL ALL HAVE TO COLLECTIVELY SUFFER THROUGH!!!
68- "Rolex" - Ayo & Teo (+19) -- We're going to let this into the top 50 as well, aren't we? Why? Just, why?
82- "Hurricane" - Luke Combs (+14) -- The good country songs never survive. It's the boring mediocrity that country radio clings onto. Because, you know, we can't have any good country songs get popular, can we?
New Arrivals:
27- "Tunnel Vision" - Kodak Black -- A third Hot 100 entry for Kodak Black this year and second in two weeks. This one debuts at No. 27, which means the world is going to make Kodak Black a thing in 2017. I'm not sure how I feel about this. His other two songs, "No Flockin" and "Everything 1K" were pretty bad. This song starts out promising. It has a really catchy intro leading into Kodak's rap. But then he starts the song with a squeak. Because Migos is starting an awful trend of annoying sounds in rap music. Quite honestly, though, this is easily the best of the three Kodak Black songs. I was digging the chorus. It's fairly decent. But then the verses hit and they throw the song in the blender with some pretty awful rap. Overall, not bad. But not great either as it's way too uneven.
41- "How Would You Feel (Paean)" - Ed Sheeran -- Ed's new album "÷" is coming this week and heading into that, we have a third song released to help promote the album. Ed mentioned on twitter that this isn't the next single, but it's one of his favorite songs from the album. For me, this is a very positive sign for his upcoming album that gets me excited. I love "Castle on the Hill" and I think "Shape of You" is a fun song. Apparently a paean is a song or lyric poem that expresses triumph or thanksgiving. In case you were curious. Here we have a very pretty love song that reminds me of "Thinking Out Loud." Except better. It's simple, yet beautiful, and would make for a perfect wedding song.
44- "Love" - Lana Del Rey -- Speaking of love, we have the return of Lana Del Rey with the song that I believe is the lead-off single for her fifth studio album. Her album "Honeymoon" I thought was pretty good, but it didn't produce any hits. Let's hope this next album gives her at least a hit or two. And I would love one of them to be "Love." True to Lana's style, this is a bit of a haunting love song. In sound anyways. That depressing, haunting sound that Lana brings to her music is why I love her. I'm not exactly sure what point Lana is trying to get across in this song. Some sort of social commentary on young love and how often that is all that matters. It's not really a wedding song like Ed's song right above, but I really enjoy it. It's a song that I'm sure will grow on me as time moves on.
46- "Draco" - Future -- I don't know why, but for some reason Future decided to release two albums within a week of each other. A self-titled album called "FUTURE" on February 17 and an album called "HNDRXX" on February 24. This week I get to cover the songs from "FUTURE" and next week I'm sure I'll have plenty to cover from "HNDRXX." Joy! The reason I don't like Future is because he's popularized what I call mumble rap. He kinda lazily mumbles his way through all of his music and for some reason we call that good music today that too many have copied. The big song this week is "Draco." Not as in Malfoy, but apparently Draco is a Romanian shortened AK-47 assault rifle. The song has an interesting electronic noise of some sort going on in the background which caught my attention, but outside that there's no flow to this song. Every line in every verse is the same length and same flow, so it gets boring after 20 seconds, but continues for like four minutes. I don't think the lyrics are gross or offensive, but I don't understand what he's talking about. It all feels very random and lazy. Like he quickly threw together two albums without putting much effort into it.
49- "Mask Off" - Future -- I don't know why Future is trying to copy Migos, but this is a really annoying trend that I'm starting to see happen. As a reminder, all of Migos' songs consist of a whole bunch of short stanzas usually from three to five words each, sometimes shorter, with a lot of echoing and a lot of weird noises. That's what this song is, but without the weird noises. Future says a couple of words, then there's an echo. This pattern continues the whole song. Thankfully Future does Migos in a much less annoying way, but he's still doing Migos, which annoys me.
52- "Heavy" - Linkin Park & Kiiara -- When I saw that I had new Linkin Park to cover this week, I was stoked. With much of the charts so bad, the world could use more Linkin Park. Honestly Linkin Park has been one of my favorite rock bands for a long time. Ever since their debut album in 2000, "Hybrid Theory," I've been all in. Through their six albums, they've managed to stay relevant by experimenting with new sounds and genres, while still keeping their core sound. So a lead-off single for a seventh studio album sounds perfect. But then I listened to the song. And quite frankly, this does not sound like Linkin Park. And I'll turn to some YouTube comments on their lyric video that express how I feel: "I can't piss off my neighbors with this..." "Ummm waiter, you forgot to put the Linkin Park in my Linkin Park." "Hopefully this is the best prank of 2017." "With this music, Goku will never beat Freiza." "You were supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them!" If I pretend this isn't Linkin Park, then this is a decent pop song with a nice balance between the male and female singer. The lyrics are pretty decent. But I can't avoid this giant elephant in the room. This does not sound like Linkin Park and I don't even think this counts as rock. Thus my big word here is disappointing. I hope the rest of the album isn't like this.
54- "Rent Money" - Future -- With "Rent Money," Future is back to being Future instead of trying to be Migos. I don't know if that's really a good thing, but at least he's being himself instead of trying to cash in on the annoying Migos success. This is also a song where I'm not bored 20 seconds in like I am with "Draco." There's also more of a flow on this song instead of Future just repeating the same over and over. He hits different notes and has different flows throughout the song, so I feel a little more creativity with this song. And when I read the lyrics, I can actually understand somewhat of a story being told instead of it being a bunch of random lyrics that make no sense. There's also some sort of choir chanting four different notes on repeat in the background. But don't think I'm going to praise this song too much. I'm just pointing out things that seem like Future actually put a bit of effort into. But those lyrics I can understand this time around are quite unpleasant to say the least. Something to the effect of him selling drugs to pay the rent and sleeping with other people's girls. So no, definitely not giving this a pass.
56- "Something Just Like This" - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay -- The big problem with all of The Chainsmokers' songs since "Closer," exemplified with the atrocity that is the original version of "Paris": Andrew Taggart's vocals aren't good, the lyrics are lazy and there is no beat. When I analyzed "Paris," I begged them to go back to what made them a great EDM duo before they became superstars. Well, they listened. First fix: Chris Martin of Coldplay. After "Closer" and "Paris," it's nice to have a male voice in there comes from a good, trained musician. Second fix: good lyrics. The lyrics didn't hit me at first. I was thinking it was just your basic EDM lyrics, but then I thought about them and I decided I really love them. Chris is feeling bad because he's thinking of all these superheros and legends and realizes that he's not one of them, so he thinks the girl won't want him because he doesn't think he's good enough. But then without having the girl come in and sing a duet, he then tells us that she said she doesn't want some legend or superhero. She wants a normal person like him, which obviously boosts his confidence. How often to we think we aren't good enough for someone, but we are just being too hard on ourselves? Third fix: the beat. The drop is exactly like "Roses" and everyone is pointing it out. But hey, "Roses" is their best song. They've been spending their last several songs copying "Closer," so if they have to copy one of their songs, how about they copy their best thing. Yes, I like this. I like this a lot! The Chainsmokers' first full length album comes out in April and I hope it has more like this.
91- "Super Trapper" - Future -- To finish things off, we have the two Future tracks that barely snuck onto the Hot 100. The first of these two being "Super Trapper." Whereas in "Rent Money" I felt Future at least tried to do something interesting, despite the words lyrics being awful, this song does nothing interesting. In fact, it's kind of a mix of "Draco" and "Mask Off." The flow is boring and repetitive and he's echoing himself throughout the whole song. He's claiming throughout the song that he's a super trapper. I don't know what that means, but I don't really care to really figure that out. This song is just flat out dull.
99- "Zoom" - Future -- Last and certainly least we have the Future song that is all out Migos, sound effects and all. The other songs I rolled my eyes at as I was annoyed with the short phrases and the echoing. Here he has the short phrases, the echoing AND the annoying sound effects throughout, which is the complete trademark of Migos. And for the most part, the lyrics don't even make any sense at all. The funny thing about this is that there is a part of this song where he disses Desiigner and other rappers for copying him while bragging that they are not on his level. Which is really hypocritical because Future in this is copying Migos while doing so and does a pretty cruddy job at it. And, oh yeah, Desiigner is a lot better than Future. Not great by any means, but a lot more tolerable than Future. And he even took his own song to the No. 1 spot on the Billboard charts. So yeah, a fail on all levels for Future. Easily the worst of the five Future songs I have covered this week.
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