Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (+2) -- I'm not one to call an artist the king of pop because they are having a good year or have written a good song and I'm not going to do that here with Justin Bieber, but I will say that Biebs seems invincible at this point. Not only was "Purpose" huge, but then he had hgue songs with Major Lazer and DJ Snake last year and now this year he's helped DJ Khaled and Lois Fonsi grab No. 1 hits in two consecutive weeks. That's impressive. And yes, as a reminder this is the first mostly Spanish song to be No. 1 since "Macarena" in 1996, which ruled the charts for 14 weeks. And while I would love to have this spark a Latino invasion on the American Hot 100 (that's not me being sarcastic -- I would honestly love that), I don't think that's going to happen. Unless they all start working with Justin Bieber, because this is all Bieber here. In fact, even "Macarena" was helped to the top because of an American remix of the song. You have to go back to the 80's to find a legit Spanish song at No. 1 without the help of an American remix, that being Los Lobos' version of "La Bamba." Now I know a lot of people will be mad at this being No. 1, but I'm happy. This is one of the better No. 1's we've had this year, behind only "Starboy" and "Humble." in terms of quality, so I hope it sticks around.
2- "That's What I Like" - Bruno Mars (=) -- Meanwhile Bruno Mars will again have to settle with the runner up spot this week. I'm sure he'll be in a constant battle with DJ Khaled and Luis Fonsi over the next several weeks to regain that top spot until one of them, or perhaps a new song, comes in and takes control. We've been very unstable with four new No. 1 songs in four weeks, something that hasn't been accomplished at all since the Nielsen SoundScan was implemented in 1991. Personally I kinda like this merry-go-round of No. 1 hits. It's fun!
3- "I'm the One" - DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper & Lil Wayne (-2) -- The good news here is that this fell from that No. 1 spot. The bad news is that this has a lot of momentum in all three categories, including pop radio. So this isn't going anywhere anytime soon and might even go back to No. 1 and challenge for Billboard's useless song of the summer award. And for the record, I don't hate this song because DJ Khaled is a lazy bum and doesn't do anything in the song. That's more of a minor annoyance. I hate this because Justin Bieber is giving a lazy, unemotional chorus surrounding three lifeless rap verses by rappers who are just happy to be invited to this obvious ploy to sell records rather than an honest attempt of making music. This song exemplifies what's wrong with the music industry today as we buy into trash like this while kicking good artists and good songs to the curb when they actually focus on the music. Example: where's Lorde on the charts right now? That's right. GONE. Shame, because her two songs were actually musically fantastic and had a lot of emotion. But that's not what America cares about.
4- "Shape of You" - Ed Sheeran (+1) -- I was actually excited last week when "Shape of You" dropped three spots to No. 5 because I thought it meant he was just about to plummet and maybe that would mean more effort put into making "Castle on the Hill," a MUCH better song, into an actual hit. But instead this rebounds and goes back up to No. 4? Come on! Someone help kick this song out. And by someone, I don't mean Future, Lil Uzi Vert or another awful rapper that our society worships. I mean that we should send a GOOD song into the top five to replace Ed.
5- "Humble." - Kendrick Lamar (-1) -- You know, I was really hoping this would have more staying power in the top five. It continues to slide one spot down each week. If this had gone 10-12 weeks at No. 1, I would've been totally happy. Instead it looks like it's going to slowly fall out of the top 10 prematurely.
6- "Mask Off" - Future (+1) -- What in the heck is this doing rising a spot? I was glad that it fell out of the top five last week and now it's threatening to go back? If this is due to this Mask Off Challenge, well, the internet should be absolutely ashamed of itself.
7- "Something Just Like This" - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay (-1) -- This week Coldplay accomplished something that they've never done before. They now have a No. 1 hit on the Pop Songs airplay chart as this is our new top song on pop radio. Usually that translates into better success on the Hot 100 instead of sitting here at No. 7. I wish that were the case as I would like this back in the top five.
8- "XO TOUR Llif3" - Lil Uzi Vert (+1) -- Speaking of songs with dumb challenges attached to them that won't go away. This, along with Future's song, REALLY need to go away instead of stubbornly sticking around.
9- "Stay" - Zedd & Alessia Cara (+2) -- NO! Zedd and Alessia had their fun in the top 10. It was supposed to be Kygo and Selena started climbing the ladder. Instead, "It Ain't Me" falls to No. 11 this week. Let's please bring the right EDM song back next week? Or maybe we can have both of them in the top 10, along with The Chainsmokers and Coldplay song, and kick out Future, Lil Uzi and/or KYLE. The top 10 could use a bit of a purging right now.
10- "iSpy" - KYLE featuring Lil Yachty (-2) -- Oh goodie! Out of all of our dumb rap songs, at least one of them took a tumble. This song overstayed its welcome after like two weeks. And it's now been eight. Let's hope this is its final week. And keep Post Malone away from the top 10, by the way. That would take things from bad to worse.
Rising on the Hot 100:
12- "Congratulations" - Post Malone featuring Quavo (+4) -- It's worth repeating twice. I just said at the end of "iSpy" that I DON'T want to have this in the top 10. If we could all join together and prevent this untalented piece of trash out of the top 10, that would be nice, especially since he carries the extremely annoying Quavo with him. How awful would it be to have two Quavo songs in the top 10 at the same time. Talk about nasty and disgusting.
18- "Sign of the Times" - Harry Styles (+10) -- Here's an idea. Harry's album just came out this past week. I really hope that means this songs soars into the top 10 next week. I would not only be fine with this returning to the top 10, but I would also love it if this song went and eventually took the top spot away from our carousel of mostly mediocrity. I'm really curious to see if Harry has enough streaming power to chart a few songs from his album, but in case he doesn't, let me just inform you that his new self-titled album is pretty sweet. It's essentially like a fun, 70's rock album coming to us from a former One Direction member. It's a blast from the past and if Harry can start a new trend by bringing 70's style music back to the mainstream, that would be a huge win.
24- "In Case You Didn't Know" - Brett Young (+7) -- This pretty, sincere, little country song continues to surprise me with how well it performs on the charts. I keep expecting it to slow down and camp out where the other big country hits land, but it keeps rising. And do you know what? I'm super happy about this. In a day where our top 20 is filling with poisonous garbage that is destroying the music industry, it's great to have something like this around. I hope it continues to climb.
29- "Unforgettable" - French Montana featuring Swae Lee (+13) -- We live in a day where it seems we have to have at least 5-10 rap songs in the top 20. If we have to keep this up, I'm am totally fine with this song being one of them because at least it's better than every other rap song outside Kendrick Lamar's stuff. And I'm really glad that the other French Montana song got stuck at No. 50 this week.
32- "Now or Never" - Halsey (+6) -- Here's a random fact for you. This is the first time on this post that I have talked about a song by a solo female. A few others, like Alessia Cara, are up there with a guy attached to them. And the only song on the Hot 100 with a solo female that's higher than Halsey is Julia Michaels with "Issues," who is currently stuck at No. 14. And we have yet to have a female in any role at No. 1 this year. Perhaps Halsey can fix that? We could use a bit more variety in that category. And I don't say that for political reasons. I just like female singers and want more of them to do well. But don't blame Billboard for this. They just compile the list each week based on what America listens to. So blame America. And make sure to slap them in the face for rejecting Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and Lorde earlier in the year. The fact that we have to turn to Halsey to provide us with a little more variety is a bit sad.
36- "Redbone" - Childish Gambino (+8) -- I was wondering if this song was every going to break free and hit top 40. It seemed to be stuck between 40 and 60 for the last month or two. I'm glad to see it was finally able to get into the 30's. And I'd be totally fine if it managed to get higher. Even though I'm not madly in love with the song, it's still better than a lot of crap in the top 30 right now.
38- "Castle on the Hill" - Ed Sheeran (+9) -- I mentioned "Castle on the Hill" earlier in this post when I talked about "Shape of You." After being officially declared as Ed's next single, it started to rise, then got stuck last week. And now it's also broken the barrier and arrived back in the top 40. Please, America, accept this song. Let's bring this at least back to the top 10!
40- "There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back" - Shawn Mendes (+9) -- But let's keep Shawn Mendes far away. I've had enough of him and even though he has done slightly worse, I think this is another dumb song from him. I know he's a young artist, but that's no excuse to give him a pass. If he can't write good songs, let's reject those songs until he's mature enough to come up with something better. Otherwise he's going to spend the rest of his career believing he's already arrived and will continue to produce boring, awful pop music.
41- "Swalla" - Jason Derulo featuring Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign (+5) -- Thankfully this song slowed down quite a bit after it's initial blast on the charts following its debut. But let's make sure we keep this song at a slow pace, because we don't need this anywhere near the top 20. In fact, if No. 41 was its peak, that would be fantastic.
47- "1-800-273-8255" - Logic featuring Alessia Cara & Khalid (+14) -- So I learned after last week that this song by Logic has sparked a lot of negative controversy, which did surprise me a bit. Again, this is a song about suicide with Logic trying his best to help others not commit suicide. The big complaint I hear that Logic tries to be so general with this in an attempt to reach to everyone that he ends up reaching no one. I suppose I can see that, but I still think people are being a bit harsh with this. Sure, if I notice someone that I think is suicidal, I don't think I'll play this song for them as I'm not sure if it will actually help, but I appreciate the effort from Logic and I think he does a better job with the song than some are giving him credit for. And this is still better than most rap songs on the charts. I mean, would you really rather prefer listening to songs about rappers being rich, having sex with tons of women, becoming famous, stealing people's girls and/or doing drugs? Because I kid you not that 95 percent of rap songs on the charts that most people are drooling all over are exactly that. Just go read the lyrics. But yet we slam Logic for trying to do something good with his rap music. Doesn't make a ton of sense to me. I hope this continues to climb in spit of all of that.
49- "The Cure" - Lady Gaga (+6) -- Can Gaga actually gain traction on the charts with this song? I'm not crossing my fingers for her due to recent history, nor am I cheering this song on because I think it's bland and boring, but I suppose there's worse things that could happen, so it's whatever.
52- "Slow Hands" - Niall Horan (+38) -- I'm not surprised with this huge jump. I want to say this debuted at No. 90 last week without a full week on the charts. Niall's last song kinda fizzled out before it got too high. Quite frankly I hope this does the same because I think Harry is doing a much better job than Niall right now.
53- "Attention" - Charlie Puth (+11) -- I'm surprised that Charlie Puth hasn't had his usually hate bath from the internet with this song like he has with most of his recent bland pop songs. Not that I wish a hybrid internet mob on anyone, but I say I'm surprised because I don't think this is any better than any of his other songs. In fact, I think it's one of his worst and I hope that the radio doesn't have another love affair with him and blast this song everywhere, if you know what I mean.
63- "Magnolia" - Playboi Carti (+28) -- Why did this guy shoot up so high after his debut last week? Gross!
70- "Craving You" - Thomas Rhett featuring Maren Morris (+13) -- I was happy that Thomas Rhett wasn't having much luck gaining traction with this song following its debut. Let's hope that doesn't start now. I don't even want this song to hit top 50.
74- "Human" - Rag'n'Bone Man (+11) -- So glad to see this song around! I still really love this song and I've actually heard it a lot on commercials recently, so I hope it can continue to gain traction after a good jump this week.
77- "Privacy" - Chris Brown (+10) -- Excuse me while I go to the bathroom to puke. Do people really enjoy listening to extremely graphic, disgusting sex songs from Chris Brown?
80- "Wokeuplikethis*" - Playboi Carti featuring Lil Uzi Vert (+20) -- Another huge jump from Playboi Carti? At least this is only up to No. 80 instead of No. 63, but still. Playboi Carti needs to be pushed OFF the charts, not sent higher.
88- "Flatliner" - Cole Swindell (+10) -- Snooze...
New Arrivals:
64- "Malibu" - Miley Cyrus -- I've been expecting another Miley album for a while now because it's been since 2013 since we saw her on the charts. Given how much of a disaster her "Bangerz" album was that year, as well as her horrendous image she'd given herself, I wasn't exactly excited for more Miley music, but I knew it was coming. Well, it's here. And I'm not going to lie, this SHOCKED me when I listened to it a few days ago. Now I wasn't her biggest fan pre-crazy era, but I obviously preferred that to rebel Miley. I never thought we'd get old Miley back, but based on this I feel that we have. And that's what shocked me about this. It's a good song. I've listened to it quite a bit in the last few days and the more I listen to it, the more I like it. It's obviously inspired by her rekindled relationship with Liam, but she feels very earnest and honest as she expresses her gratitude and feelings for him, thus it makes for a relaxing and enjoyable love song that gives you the feeling you are on the beaches of Malibu with someone you care about, whether that beach be literal or metaphorical. And in the music video they've put together a really attractive photo shoot of her, which considering the last time we saw Miley in a video she was riding naked on a wrecking ball and making out with a hammer, this is another sign that I think old Miley is back.
79- "Every Time I Hear that Song" - Blake Shelton -- Now we go from Miley's great love song to Blake whining about a breakup in a twangy, country rock song. Yeah, I get it. Most couples have a song and when you break up, listening to that song can bring up some painful memories. But I just don't feel the honesty or the raw, bittersweet emotion from Blake in this song. With the backdrop of the heavier than it should be rock influences of the song, I also feel that the tone is conflicting. If he did a strip down, honest country song like Miranda Lambert with "Tin Man" a weeks ago, maybe I would buy it. But I don't. Speaking of which, why can't we bring "Tin Man" back to the charts? Out of all these dumb country songs doing well, a good one comes around and we reject it? Sure, that makes total sense. At least we have "In Case You Didn't Know" doing well.
89- "Either Way" - Chris Stapleton -- Perhaps I was a bit harsh on Chris Stapleton's last song, "Broken Halos" from earlier this month, but I just felt like the song was a bit too simple for what it set out to do. I wanted more depth. Here we have a song where Chris puts a whole ton of emotion into a song... that is very shallow lyrically. I like the musical setup of the song. The verses are very stripped down and quiet. Then he gets to the chorus and he belts it out impressively. But he's not singing about anything interesting. Again, not much detail given here, but he's in a broken relationship with a girl and he's come to the point where he doesn't care if she stays or leaves. They fake the perfect life for everyone around them, but then inside their own walls, there's nothing there between them anymore. And that's it. It doesn't strike a chord with me at all.
97- "Drinkin' Problem" - Midland -- Midland? As in Midland, Texas? If so that would be cool because I lived in Midland, Texas for about six months. But no. After looking it up, this country group is named after a song called "Fair to Midland" by Dwight Yoakam, that according to the ever so trustworthy Wikipedia. But they are from Texas. But not Midland. Hays County, which is slightly southwest of Austin. Too bad I can't proudly brag about this group, despite them being from Texas. At least not based on this debut single from their first EP, which I don't care to listen to unless the Hot 100 forces me to. A country group singing about drinking. How original. People in the song say this singer has a drinking problem, but he calls the drinking a solution to the the other problems that he actually has that are mostly related to him having a "broken hearted problem" with this girl he's been dealing with. Yeah, that's it. Add to that your typical fake-country rock twang and we have the same boring, cliche country song that we've heard a thousand times.
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