Wednesday, June 21, 2017

DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - July 1, 2017

The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to switch things up in the future, but for now this is what I'm sticking with. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:




1- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (=) -- This just in. The original video for "Despacito," the one with just Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee (without Justin Bieber), has now become the 11th song to hit 2 billion views on YouTube. And it hit this milestone in record-breaking time of 154 days, or just over five months. The next fastest to hit this mark was Justin Bieber's "Sorry" with 394 days, followed by Wiz Khalfa's "See You Again" with 515 days. That's remarkable. If it can hit 2 billion views in five months, can it get to 4 billion before the year is over? I mean, you would think these views would start slowing down, but you never know. Just goes to show you how popular this song is worldwide. The remix audio itself is doing quite well with 330 million views in just over two months. Billboard only counts U.S. numbers to it's Hot 100 formula, but those are still pretty high across the board on both accounts. This is why I think this song isn't going anywhere any time soon. Although it does have a new challenger for runner up.

2- "I'm the One" - DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper & Lil Wayne (+1) -- After five weeks stuck at No. 3, DJ Khaled and friends have finally surpassed Bruno to get this runner-up spot. And it looks like it's going to be an even bigger uphill battle to dethrone "Despacito" to get back to that top spot, where this song debuted six weeks back. With how stagnant these charts are right now, I suppose it still has a chance, even if "Despacito" goes 12-14 weeks at top. It doesn't appear that any other song has any desire to make a big push. If it does happen, Justin Bieber will be happy because he'll be replacing himself. I certainly won't be, though.

3- "That's What I Like" - Bruno Mars (-1) -- Here on the Billboard charts, we celebrate the small victories. Like Bruno finally giving up that No. 2 spot. I don't hate this song, but I certainly don't think it's any good and 10 weeks at No. 2 is at least eight or nine weeks too long. Now if it would continue to keep falling, that would be nice.

4- "Shape of You" - Ed Sheeran (=) -- What's worse than Bruno spending 10 weeks at No. 2 (and 18 total weeks in the top 10 so far), is Ed Sheeran spending 23 weeks in the top five. Listen, I don't hate this song. I even find it a fun song, even though most of the other songs on Ed's album are much better. It was just time for it to go at least 10-15 weeks ago, so it's overstayed it's welcome. Now go!

5- "Humble." - Kendrick Lamar (=) -- I really want this whole top 10 to just get wiped clean. But I think "Humble." should stick around. In fact, if Kendrick can jump ahead of Bruno and Ed, that would be really nice. I'd say jump ahead of the other two as well because this is the best song in the top five right now, but I gotta stay a bit realistic, right?

6- "Mask Off" - Future (=) -- You know, what's even worse that Bruno spending 10 weeks at No. 2 and Ed spending 23 weeks in the top five is this song being here at all. On the charts overall. This song isn't even good enough to deserve a spot on the Hot 100. Why in the frack is it still stuck at No. 6? Get this song out of here.

7- "Something Just Like This" - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay (+1) -- The Chainsmokers are about to hit 60 straight weeks in the top 10, meaning Katy's 69 week record is still in reach, especially since this reversed course this week in a top 10 that doesn't seem to want to go anywhere at this point. I love this song. It's one of my favorite songs of the year. But don't you think it's time The Chainsmokers leave and disappear into obscureness? Most of their songs aren't even going to be remembered by the mainstream in five years from now.

8- "Stay" - Zedd & Alessia Cara (+1) -- I gotta take a deep breath and remind myself that there are worse things in this top 10 than Zedd gaining again. I'm still mad that this is the song that stuck around while Kygo and Selena's song continues to fall down the charts.

9- "Congratulations" - Post Malone featuring Quavo (+1) -- No! Hitting No. 10 was already too high for this song. About 90 spots too high, if you know what I mean. But now it's officially peaked at single digits? Why do we as a country accept dog crap like this as music?

10- "XO Tour Llif3" - Lil Uzi Vert (-3) -- The last three songs all rose a spot because Lil Uzi took a bit of a tumble. It wasn't a hard enough tumble as I want this song gone, but hey I'll take what I can get. Now let's invite someone else into the top 10 next week.


Rising on the Hot 100:





11- "Body Like a Back Road" - Sam Hunt (+3) -- But oh my goodness get this piece of trash away from here! How in the world did this rise again to No. 11? And why is it still in the teens anyways? If this returns to the top 10, I'm going to be an angry man.

14- "Redbone" - Childish Gambino (+2) -- Instead of inviting Sam Hunt back into the top 10 next week, let's all do society a favor by letting Mr. Glover, aka Childish Gambino, into the top 10. In a very dull Billboard year, that would be a huge positive!

23- "Bad Liar" - Selena Gomez (+22) -- In fact, let's bring a solo Selena song into the top 10 as well. Our ladies this year are vastly underrepresented in the top 10 of the Hot 100 this year. In fact, we're six months into the year and do you know how many females that debuted songs on the charts this year have made it into the top 10 without a male attached to the song? Two. And we booted Katy out of the top 10 after just two weeks and Miley after just one week. Why is this happening? Plus, I like this song, so female representation aside, I want it to be successful.

33- "Magnolia" - Playboi Carti (+7) -- The rest of our risers this week are all awful. So yeah, "Redbone" and "Bad Liar" are the only two good songs that had significant rises this week. That sucks. So let's get through the rest of these fast. THIS SONG IS AWFUL. WHY IS IT HERE?

36- "Slippery" - Migos featuring Gucci Mane (+7) -- THIS SONG IS AWFUL. WHY IS IT HERE?

37- "Everyday We Lit" - YFN Lucci featuring PnB Rock (+25) -- THIS SONG IS AWFUL. WHY IS IT HERE?

44- "Strip that Down" - Liam Payne featuring Quavo (+7) -- THIS SONG IS AWFUL. WHY IS IT HERE?

62- "Swish Swish" - Katy Perry featuring Nicki Minaj (+21) -- THIS SONG IS AWFUL. WHY IS IT HERE?

81- "Butterfly Effect" - Travis Scott (+12) -- THIS SONG IS AWFUL. WHY IS IT HERE?

85- "Bon Appetit" - Katy Perry featuring Migos (+13) -- THIS SONG IS AWFUL. WHY IS IT HERE?


New Arrivals: 





16- "2U" - David Guetta feauting Justin Bieber -- What do you get when you combine some very average Justin Bieber lyrics that sound like he phoned it in just to get another quick hit with some very basic David Guetta dance beats? A song that makes David Guetta look desperate by going for the sales and popularity instead of artistic value, which I know he is capable of? Well, sure. I mean, when you compare this song to others like "Titatium," "Without You," "I Can Only Imagine," "Dangerous" or "Lovers on the Sun," just to name a few, it doesn't shine a candle. But surprisingly, despite all this, this song kinda works for me. It's like Justin Bieber and David Guetta weren't trying very hard, but they naturally mix quite well. David Guetta enhances Bieber's average music and Bieber is a good voice that helps David Guetta's style. I'm surprised this song didn't debut in the top 10 despite a strong first week of sales. Let's see if it can make it's way there in the next few weeks.

70- "Love Galore" - SZA featuring Travis Scott -- I had never heard of SZA until this week, but apparently she's a new R&B artist on the scene and debuted her first album earlier this month. Her actually name is Solana Rowe, which I think she should've gone by instead of SZA. In terms of first impressions, this isn't a very good one. We start out by me looking at this and seeing a Travis Scott feature and already being put off before I listen to my first ever SZA song. But hey, I gave it a shot and I was mostly bored. This song feels like a dull R&B song that's stuck in the mud because it drags on and never has a good flow. I suppose this girl has a decent voice, but she doesn't use it here very much and the content of this song isn't very interesting. And with Travis Scott's verse, well, at least he's not doing his Migos impressions very much, but it doesn't seem like he cared much here, if he ever cared with any music at all. The song is four and a half minutes long and it felt like 14 minutes. Certainly not a song that gives me any desire to listen to this girl's album.

79- "Do I Make You Wanna" - Billy Currington -- Billy left me hanging there with that title. Do I make you wanna... what? Turns out there's a lot of ways to answer that in this song as he spends his whole song asking this girl a bunch of questions. And it kinda works. This is more of a soft, toned-down country song that feels honest and genuine. He obviously wants to be with this girl and he wants to know how she feels about him. Fairly basic and simple, but it works.

89- "Escapate Conmigo" - Wisin featuring Ozuna -- I don't have a lot to say about this one because as someone who doesn't understand Spanish, I don't consider myself the best judge. I will say it's interesting how many Spanish songs have been on the charts recently, even before "Despacito" became a monster hit. This song has two voices, one guy who is smooth relaxing and another guy who is more in your face at times. It makes for an interesting balance that works most of the time. Overall the song is more laid back I'd say, but it doesn't jump out at me.

93- "What Ifs" - Kane Brown featuring Lauren Alaina -- This is the second country song that spends most of its time asking a bunch of questions, but this time it doesn't really work. I don't know Kane Brown, but he has a nice, rich country voice, but the song content doesn't interest me and thus the song is more of what I come to expect with new country songs these days. Boring, dull cliche with artists that don't seem to put a lot of thought into the song they are writing. However, Lauren Alaina providing harmonization makes the song interesting and mixed in with the typical country rock beats that flood country music these days is a twangy banjo that gives the song a fun, folky beat to it. So it's not a complete loss and thus I won't be angry if it does well, but it's also not a country song that I will remember much and not one I care to add to my library and listen to again.

95- "It's a Vibe" - 2 Chainz featuring Ty Dolla $ign, Trey Songz & Jhene Aiko -- "Yuh... Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh...." Because that's a great way to get my attention for a song. Then 2 Chainz invited three of his friends to join him in a song where they take turns saying the phrase "that's a vibe" over and over while throwing in talking about this girl's girl parts to put it nicely. And the whole time 2 Chainz sounds like he recorded the song drunk. I think I'm done here.

100- "It Ain't My Fault" - Brothers Osborne -- Here's a country song with some fire and groove to it. Speaking of the beat and the music alone, this is a song that had me dancing around in my seat while listening to it. If you played it at a party, I predict a lot of people would have a ton of fun with the song. Our lead singer in this country due, Mr. T.J. Osborne, has an amazingly deep country voice that makes me rather jealous. He hits the low register without any effort and his verses have a great flow to them. What holds this song back for me is that what they're singing about isn't really that interesting. They're just blaming everything on everything else and they don't go into a ton of depth. But the verses are fairly poetic despite that. I'm not a huge fan of country if you couldn't tell, but there have been quite a few phenomenal country songs that have been released this year. This isn't one of them. But yet it's a fun, dancy country song that is better than most, so I dig it.

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