Wednesday, July 26, 2017

DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - August 5, 2017

The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to switch things up in the future, but for now this is what I'm sticking with. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:

1- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (=) -- "Despacito" now celebrates its 11th week at No. 1, a mark that only 22 other songs have hit. It's three weeks away from tying "Macarena" for the longest a Spanish language song has reigned at the top of the U.S. Billboard charts and five weeks away from the all-time record set by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men with "One Sweet Day" in 1996. In an effort to objectively read the tea leaves here, "Despacito" has a very good shot at the all-time record because I don't think "Wild Thoughts" at No. 2 is going to catch it in time. Our songs at No. 3 and No. 4 certainly aren't going to catch it, thus it might be up to French Montana and Swae Lee with "Unforgettable," which rocketed up to No. 5 this week, but that song still has a lot of ground to cover. Here are the numbers for this week: "Despacito" had 118,000 sales (down 6 percent), 57.5 million streams (down 4 percent) and 145 million radio airplay audience (down 1 percent). Compare that to the other two songs' numbers that I'll include below.

2- "Wild Thoughts" - DJ Khaled featuring Rihanna & Bryson Tiller (=) -- Rihanna's numbers this week are as follows: 40,000 sales (down 4 percent), 35.5 million streams (down 5 percent) and 107 million radio airplay audience (up 11 percent). That means that, while its quite possible that "Wild Thoughts" passes "Despacito" in radio within five weeks, both songs are declining in sales and streaming at an equal rate, with "Despacito" having nearly triple the sales and over 1.5 times the streaming. These margins have been about similar the past two weeks and with how steady "Despacito" still is on radio, it might take the entire five weeks for "Wild Thoughts" to even catch up on radio. Moral of the story is that, unless something drastic happens with either song, "Wild Thoughts" isn't going to be the song to dethrone "Despacito."

3- "That's What I Like" - Bruno Mars (+1) -- Bruno Mars certainly isn't going to rise to No. 1 again. I am even baffled that it shot up to No. 3 again. It's been doing nothing but decline in all categories. It's just here again because of the weakness of the songs below it, specifically with "I'm the One" having declined faster this week.

4- "I'm the One" - DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper & Lil Wayne (-1) -- We should all shout praises to the music gods that this piece of trash is finally starting to waver. I really don't get why it was ever here outside the fact that Bieber and Quavo were included in the song. At least "Wild Thoughts" has a super catchy beat that was borrowed from Santana that makes me understand why people enjoy it, even if I don't enjoy it myself.

5- "Unforgettable" - French Montanta featuring Swae Lee (+4) -- With those middle songs out of the way, let's look at the numbers for "Unforgettable" this week: 37,000 sales (up 68 percent), 29.7 million streams (up 14 percent), 29.7 million streams (up 14 percent) and 67 million radio airplay audience (up 8 percent). So yes, this has the momentum, but it still has quite a bit of ground to cover and the radio hasn't fully embraced it yet. I can see this being the top streaming song within five weeks if it continues to climb because rap songs get a ton of streaming, but I'm not sure if the sales will continue to increase that much each week and I'm even more uncertain that the radio will do much. I can see this song jumping up to No. 3 as early as next week, but I really don't know if this will catch "Despacito" in time, either. But we'll check on these numbers each week to see how this changes. Maybe one song will see a sudden surge or maybe "Despacito" will finally collapse. In theory, a new song could soar in and debut at No. 1, but that's proven to be really difficult lately, so I wouldn't count on that. I think the record may be in jeopardy.

6- "Shape of You" - Ed Sheeran (-1) -- Oh my goodness this song finally fell out of the top five, thus remaining tied with "Closer" for most weeks in the top five in Billboard history. I mean, this song essentially spent six whole months in the top five starting back at its debut in late January. And we're now coming up on August next week. I don't hate the song, but this has been rather ridiculous and I hope a swift exit from the top 10 is in its near future. It was time for this song to go a long time ago.

7- "Believer" - Imagine Dragons (=) -- OK, Imagine Dragons, if you're going to camp here in the bottom half of the top 10, can you at least jump up and knock Ed down?

8- "There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back" - Shawn Mendes (=) -- Well, I'm glad that this song stayed put this week. As expected, pop radio is eating the song alive because they think boring, bland pop songs from untalented musicians is what America wants to hear all day. The other two categories are struggling to do anything, so I don't see this getting too much higher, although I also don't see this going away anytime soon.

9- "Body Like a Back Road" - Sam Hunt (+1) -- WHAT IN THE LIVING FRACK?!?!?!?! WHY IS THIS DIRTY PILE OF TRASH WRITTEN BY THE DEVIL HIMSELF STILL RISING ON THE CHARTS??? GET IT OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10- "Attention" - Charlie Puth (+3) -- I say that I want new blood in the top 10, so we kick out Kendrick Lamar and bring in Charlie Puth?!?!? NO!!!! That's NOT what I meant. If this song HAD to be here, why couldn't we kick out Sam Hunt instead? Now the last time Charlie Puth entered the top 10, he peaked at No. 9. And that song even had Selena Gomez attached to it. Let's hope history repeats itself because, again, I don't know why bland, boring pop songs have to be here.

Rising on the Hot 100:

23- "Sorry Not Sorry" - Demi Lovato (+29) -- As I expected given that we has 16 debuts last week, nine of which were from JAY-Z's album, we have a long list of risers this week as the charts reset themselves back to normal. Although the songs between 11 and 20 remain fairly stuck, which isn't a good sign for us getting a makeover in the top 10. Leading the way this week is Demi as "Sorry Not Sorry" has its first full week of sales. I'm not madly in love with this, but I'm fine with it. Although females have had a rough time on the charts this year, especially when they are by themselves, so I'm really curious as to how this song does next week after its initial big sales boost.

27- "Fetish" - Selena Gomez featuring Gucci Mane (+65) -- Selena Gomez is our second huge riser on her first full week of sales as well. This song I would have a problem with if it had success. Unfortunately Selena has Gucci Mane attached for some horrendous reason, so that means this song probably has a better chance of sticking around.

39- "My Girl" - Dylan Scott (+5) -- It would be really nice if an actual country song rose to the top of the country charts, especially since this song is actually really good and genuinely romantic, unlike that awful Sam Hunt song that would make me want to punch someone in the mouth if they ever spoke those words to me.

41- "Rake it Up" - Yo Gotti featuring Nicki Minaj (+27) -- Oh dear. This had a good rise last week, too. Let's just hope its rise this week was inflated a bit by all the JAY-Z songs collapsing because I would absolutely hate life if this became a hit.

42- "Mi Gente" - J Balvin & Willy William (+9) -- "Mi Gente" is already flirting with the top 40 in its third week on the charts. This is a remarkably high rise for a Latino song that you can definitely attribute to what I will call the "Despacito" effect. And hey, I'm down with this. Unlike most of our current popular English songs, this Spanish/French crossover is actually a fun song worth playing and dancing to. Can it continue to have success without adding an English-speaking pop star?

47- "Versace on the Floor" - Bruno Mars (+10) -- If it means getting "That's What I Like" out of that top 10, I would totally be in favor of "Versace on the Floor" finding continued success. Even though I'm not a fan of the lyrical content of the song, I can at least appreciate that Bruno brings a lot more passion to this song than "That's What I Like."

49- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)" - Cardi B (+29) -- I'm not panicking this week because of the aforementioned JAY-Z fallout, but this becoming popular would be cause for concern.

59- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (+11) -- I hope this doesn't become a hit, either. Imagine Dragons should learn that I don't approve of tossing lyrics out the door in favor of a catchy beat because this song is catchy, but completely empty. Almost literally.

60- "Butterfly Effect" - Travis Scott (+37) -- Again, I'm not panicking, but come on America. You can do better. Let's not make Travis Scott a thing even though he's done worse this year.

62- "Loyalty." - Kendrick Lamar featuring Rihanna (+12) -- Is this the song being pushed as the next Kendrick single? Or did this song rise just because of JAY-Z? I certainly wouldn't be surprised that the Rihanna feature would be chosen as a single. It makes sense. And even though this is one of the sub-par songs on Kendrick's album compared to the others, I don't mind it. It's certainly better than our current Rihanna song sitting towards the top.

63- "Feel it Still" - Portugal. The Man (+17) -- Yes, please! I so want this to be a hit!!! All the other good songs this year have died out too fast. Let's bring a good one up and make it popular!

65- "What Ifs" - Kane Brown featuring Lauren Alaina (+20) -- A few country songs taking a rise this week. This one can stay in the bottom half of the Hot 100, though.

67- "You Look Good" - Lady Antebellum (+20) -- But on the country note, let's do bring this higher. I'd say Lady Antebellum are ready for a top 50 hit! This is an enjoyable country song.

68- "No Promises" - Cheat Codes featuring Demi Lovato (+20) -- I want to be happy that an EDM song had a good rise this week, but I'm not really that happy that its Cheat Codes doing the honors. Although I'm certain this is all because of Demi and I really don't think this song is going to stick around, although it's had decent traction on radio.

71- "Yours if You Want It" - Rascal Flatts (+10) -- Nope. Not a country song I care to be doing well. It's only at No. 71 and it only rose nine spots after the JAY-Z fallout, compared to the other two previously mentioned country songs both jumping 20 spots, so there's good signs that country radio won't make this a thing. But maybe they will because it is Rascal Flatts.

81- "Heartache on the Dance Floor" - Jon Pardi (+15) -- This is the worst country riser of them all. This one I definitely want to see burn and die and thankfully 81 isn't a very high spot.

82- "Crew" - GoldLink featuring Brent Faiyaz & Shy Glizzy (+16) -- I'm just going to call this a high riser in its second week thanks to JAY-Z and move on...

New Arrivals:

75- "A Lie" - French Montana featuring The Weeknd & Max B -- Well, it would be "a lie" if I told you that I was completely dreading this song when I saw it show up. I groaned at French Montana, but then saw The Weeknd and thought maybe there's a little hope. And, well, I had no idea who Max B was, so that effected nothing. But do you know what is also "a lie"? If anyone tells you this song is worth anything. French Montana smartly throws The Weeknd front and center in the song as he did with Swae Lee in "Unforgettable," because, you know, French Montana doesn't actually know how to do this thing called music very well. It even admits that in the album description of his new album on Apple Music: "French Montana doesn't have much of a singing voice, but what he hasn't got in pipes, he makes up for in knowing his audience (along with plenty of Auto-Tune)." In other words, French Montana is not talented, but he knows that millions of people don't care about talent and will accept garbage, poorly rap songs if he plays his cards right. Unfortunately for him, this is The Weeknd going back to his lazy days by spending the song in a boring trance telling people that he's the greatest and that if they say otherwise, it's a lie. Then French Montana and Max B come in and stumble their way through a couple of verses while doing their best Migos impression. Because, you know, that's the cool thing these days. Yeah, this song sucks.

86- "Jerika" - Jake Paul & Erika Costell featuring Uncle Kade -- But do you know who sucks more than French Montana? Jake Paul. You might remember him from that trashy, "It's Everyday Bro" featuring Team 10. If you don't know that song, then good. But I really don't know why we gave this punk a second hit this year. Let's just hope it goes away as fast as the other one. I mean, check out this first verse that opens the song: "Used to call you mom but now I call you wifey; There's no death row but I'm doing it for a lifey; Now we're on a honeymoon chillin' in Hawaii; And whenever we kissed, man she so spicey." Yeah. And what follows is an absolutely cringeworthy romance song between Jake and this Erika girl that's somehow made worse by whoever Uncle Kade is, singing with the prospective of a sibling of one of these two, wanting them to get married and have babies so that he can be the best uncle on the planet. The worst part of it all is that I honestly think all three of these people think they are so cool and that this is going to be the next huge hit. For the sake of America and the world as a whole, let's sure hope not.

91- "Young Dumb & Broke" - Khalid -- Easy candidate for best new artist is this kid, Khalid. As a 19-year-old fresh off from graduating high school last year, he had a rather impressive debut hit with "Location," which broke top 20 this year on the Hot 100. That sudden fame caught on and he suddenly found himself featured on songs by Logic and Calvin Harris. Now his second single from his debut album "American Teen" is here and has him referring to himself as a young, dumb and broke high school kid. Well, he's not quite in high school anymore, but close enough. This is a song that a lot of high school kids can probably relate to, even if they probably don't want to admit it. About this song, Khalid simply said he wanted to be honest and there's nothing more honest than referring to yourself as young, dumb and broke. Although I highly doubt he's broke anymore, but hey. And he also forgot his lesson from high school that you're supposed to use comas. But hey, I'll forgive that. Now, in a short and unimpressive week, this does happen to be the best song, but when I'm comparing this to Khalid's own "Location," I find this to be significantly more boring and less groovy. Not an awful song, but not one that makes me super excited to check out this new album of his.

96- "Woman" - Kesha featuring The Dap-Kings Horns -- After a phenomenal return to the Billboard charts last week with "Praying," Kesha is here again with her other song that she released in anticipation of her upcoming album "Rainbow." If I'm being honest, it was more abnormal of me to love a Kesha song, which made "Praying" even more impressive. Normally she's super annoying with a little too much attitude and controversy that makes me hate her music ("Die Young" anyone?). But despite that attitude, she has frequently come up with a lot of songs that are also super catchy that I end up enjoying in spite of her still doing what I usually hate. Songs like "Tik Tok," "Your Love is My Drug" and "We R Who We R" are examples of good Kesha songs where she finds the right balance. But for every one of those songs, she has at least two or three more where she crosses the line to unlikable and "Woman" is a great example of that. I don't care to listen to Kesha sing about how she's a motherf---ing woman (which is literally what you hear when you listen to the clean version of the song) who doesn't need one of these awful men in her life. Not the type of lyrical content I care about and the song isn't catchy enough for me to call it a guilty pleasure. Yet I know there will be a lot of women who love this song, so it's whatever. If you like it, then great. I'll just wait for the album to see if there's any other songs worth caring about.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - July 29, 2017

The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to switch things up in the future, but for now this is what I'm sticking with. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:

1- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (=) -- "Despacito" is now the 35th song in the nearly 60 year history of the Hot 100 to make it No. 1 for 10 weeks or longer, 33 of which came in 1992 or later following the formation of the Nielsen SoundScan, which made tracking easier, more efficient and more accurate. That's an average of 1.32 per year since 1992. Narrowing it down even more, this is the 10th song to hit the mark this decade so far and 8th since 2014, with exactly two songs a year thus far since 2014. "Shape of You" was the other song in 2017 to hit at least 10 weeks. Now out of the previous 34 songs that were No. 1 for at least 10 weeks, 33 of them stalled out before they could make it past 14 weeks, with "One Sweet Day" by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men being the lone song that made it to 16 weeks and that was back in 1995 when "One Sweet Day" began its reign at top. So if we play the percentages, "Despacito" only has four more weeks at most on top. But now the question is what's going to stop it? Or will it be the song to finally tie or break Mariah's record? If we look at the numbers, this week "Despacito" had 124,000 sales, 60.3 million U.S. streams and 145 million in all-format airplay audience, which is No. 1 for each category while only declining slightly from the previous week. Compare that to our second place's numbers...

2- "Wild Thoughts" - DJ Khaled featuring Rihanna & Bryson Tiller (+2) -- Rihanna is rising fast on radio with 96 million in all-format airplay audience, up 23 percent from last week, but only had 42,000 sales and 37.5 million U.S. streams, both of which were down from the previous week. So unless "Despacito" suddenly tanks and/or "Wild Thoughts" surges, the math here isn't screaming a dethroning anytime soon. You've gotta think that something else has to step to the plate if "Despicato" is to be stopped. But that's the problem. We have no takers as again our top five is mostly the same from last week and that's not due to these songs performing super well in the major metrics. There's just nothing rising. Now we have 16 new arrivals this week, thanks in part to JAY-Z's new album. You've gotta hope that SOMETHING from this bunch steps it up.

3- "I'm the One" - DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper & Lil Wayne (-1) -- Thankfully it now looks certain that this pile of horse crap won't ever make it back to No. 1, or perhaps even No. 2, now that the Rihanna song above it has legit radio momentum for some strange reason. But with 11 weeks in this top three, this song has definitely overstayed its welcome... by like 11 weeks. But with the rate it's taking for our current top five to leave the region, we probably have like 10-15 more weeks of suffering through this jumbled, boring nonsense.

4- "That's What I Like" - Bruno Mars (-1) -- Falling back to No. 4 this week, Bruno Mars has now celebrated 21 weeks in the top five for this song, with only one of those weeks being at the top spot. Can we send it away now? Please?

5- "Shape of You" - Ed Sheeran (=) -- Since I'm keeping track this week, Ed Sheeran has now spent 27 weeks in the top five with this monster hit. And guess what? That ties the record for most weeks in the top five. The record set by The Chainsmokers with "Closer" earlier this year. When "Closer" FINALLY left the top five, it was only in the top 10 for three more weeks. Please let that be the case here! And for the love of everything that is right, let's kick this out sooner rather than later. I don't hate this song, but it's been in the top five since its debut back in late January. Ridiculous. Surprisingly, there are great songs that have been written and released this year, but it's "Shape of You" and "Closer" that is going to define this generation of music. That's so sad.

6- "Humble." - Kendrick Lamar (=) -- On the other hand, "Humble." has been in the top 10 for 15 weeks now and I'm really happy that it has managed to hold on so well. It's now looking like it just may make my end of year list of the most popular songs of 2017, something I didn't think it was going to do a month ago. So there's one silver lining for you.

7- "Believer" - Imagine Dragons (=) -- You know what, if it means kicking out ANYTHING from our current top five, I'll take a sub-par Imagine Dragons song. After jumping up to No. 6, it's now stayed at No. 7 for two weeks, so maybe it can hold on long enough to see the songs below it collapse. But I'll only take that as a temporary band-aid. I'd rather this song leave asap as well.

8- "There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back" - Shawn Mendes (+6) -- No. So much no. I want new blood in this top 10, but I'd honestly rather see everything stay the same than see this song as the replacement. It's not a good Shawn Mendes song. The only thing that this punk kid has proven is that he is only capable of writing boring, bland, forgettable pop music. But for some reason it seems that his team must've paid a huge sum of money to every radio station in this country, because no station can stop playing his music even though none of us like it. Sure, you may claim that this isn't quite as bad as "Stitches" or "Treat You Better," but that's like claiming being hit by a car is less painful than getting hit by a bus. It might be true, but in the long run it doesn't mean much as it's still extremely painful and doesn't give me any consolation. At least Shawn's buddy Charlie isn't here this week as well. But please excuse me while I go knock on some wood real quick.

9- "Unforgettable" - French Montana featuring Swae Lee (+1) -- I'm not going to necessarily actively cheer on this song, but if it slowly sneaks ahead of all of the songs ahead of it, I'm not going to be complaining. If it's now required to have a rap song in the top 10 at all times, I'll take this. And speaking of rap songs, "XO Tour Llif3," "Mask Off" and "Congratulations" are now all gone.

10- "Body Like a Back Road" - Sam Hunt (-2) -- Top priority. Get this abomination out of here and throw it in the depths of Hell where it can burn and rot forever. I'm absolutely ashamed for America that this has even shown up in the Hot 100 at all, let alone in the top 10 for four weeks.

Rising on the Hot 100:

13- "Attention" - Charlie Puth (+2) -- With 16 new arrivals this week flooding the charts, there wasn't a whole lot of room for a ton of risers. That'll happen next week when the nine JAY-Z songs slide down following the debut. But for now we have a decent handful that snuck up anyways, unfortunately led by this one. Mr. Mendes jumped right into the top 10 this week, leaving Mr. Puth behind. I have to be objective here and think that this won't be too far behind, though. I'm not super happy about it, though. If it gets stuck right here, I will be ecstatic.

14- "Redbone" - Childish Gambino (+2) -- I wish that this song would go to the top 10. It's stalled out here in the mid-teens, but I'm happy to see it recover a bit this week as it goes back to it's No. 14 peak. Maybe Donald Glover's role in "Spider-Man: Homecoming" recently can somehow help his song go higher. Because, yes, that's who this is. How many people have had a hit movie and a hit song out at the same time that were completely coincidental of one another?

19- "Slow Hands" - Niall Horan (+3) -- At least it's "Slow Hands" by Niall hitting the top 20 this week and not "Strip That Down" by Liam. Although I'd still really like it if it were "Sign of the Times" at this spot. But for some reason we threw that one in the trash. I don't get it.

49- "Felices Los 4" - Maluma (+12) -- Maluma has now hit top 50! Now if he does a remix with Justin Bieber, he might jump to No. 1 for 10 plus weeks. I kid, of course. I don't REALLY want that to happen. But this is around where the original "Despacito" was before the Bieber remix sent it skyrocketing. Now I would think it would be cool if a Latino song hit "Despacito" heights WITHOUT adding an English-speaking pop star to the song (I was about to say a U.S. pop star, but I reminded myself that Bieber is Canadian). But I don't think that'll happen.

53- "Mi Gente" - J Balvin & Willy William (+17) -- However, we are certainly trying. The success of "Despacito" has opened the door for a lot of Latino singers to find success in the U.S. Now we have "Mi Gente" knocking on the door of the top 50 after debuting last week. I am totally down with that, especially since it sends a bit of French up the charts with it.

66- "Most Girls" - Hailee Steinfeld (+26) -- Is it weird that I forgot this song existed after it debuted and kinda fizzled out last month. But now it gets a sudden surge and I'm not the happiest. Did Hailee release a video or something? Because this nearly 30 spot jump has seemingly come out of nowhere and I don't care to figure out why. I just hope it dies again next week.

68- "Rake it Up" - Yo Gotti featuring Nicki Minaj (+10) -- Of course this song rises this week. But only 10 spots. One can only hope that it doesn't go higher.

72- "Escapate Conmigo" - Wisin featuring Ozuna (+12) -- That's three fun Latino songs making this rising songs section this week. Certainly no coincidence and I'm happy with it.

New Arrivals:

23- "The Story of O.J." - JAY-Z -- The 13th studio album from JAY-Z has dropped and in addition to the album earning the top spot on the Billboard 200, nine of the ten songs have shown up this week on the Hot 100. This is the second track from the album. I feel this song has a lot of depth and meaning to it, especially for JAY-Z personally and the black culture in general. JAY-Z samples the 1966 song "Four Women" by Nina Simone, which tells the stories of four black women from the days of Slavery to the present day. JAY-Z integrates that throughout his song as he gives themes very much similar to Simone's song while comparing the story of O.J. Simpson to him and his culture. I don't necessarily understand that comparison fully because O.J. was a man who had all the fame and riches in the world as one of the best RB's in NFL history, but then threw that all away by killing his wife, a charge he was found innocent of even though everyone knows he did. Well, sometimes karma comes back to bite you as O.J. now finds himself in prison for armed robbery and other such charges while having a parole hearing coming soon. I don't know how all of this fits in with JAY-Z's song. Maybe he's speaking in general terms of the rise and fall of power that many celebrities experience as JAY-Z talks a lot about money and how to wisely and possibly unwisely use it. But I don't know. I feel the emotion here, so I'll give this a good pass while letting it marinate in my mind for a while.

25- "Praying" - Kesha -- I was hoping this song would chart high and I'm glad to see it has, even though I was a bit worried because female singers for whatever reason have been rejected on the Billboard charts this year. But here we have the triumphant return of Kesha to the Billboard charts, without that annoying dollar in her name. There's so much to say about this song, so I'm going to do my best to be brief. I listen to this song and I obviously see it as a personal response to her legal troubles she's been having with Dr. Luke. For the most part, I actually side with Dr. Luke in the legal case as I think Kesha was being an attention-seeking drama queen, spewing out false facts about everything and successfully getting an emotional reaction out of millions of people who refused to look into the facts of the case. For that I am super annoyed with her. But despite that, I absolutely love this song, because I do my best to separate the actual music from the personal life. And this is a powerful anthem with a lot of emotion and pain embedded in. Even though you can tell what she's referring to, the lyrics are vague enough for it to not matter that much. What we get is the story of a girl that's been put through Hell and is finally released from the pain and is choosing to focus on how strong it has made her while wishing the best for the person who caused her this pain. Regardless of my feelings about the legal battle, I can feel the genuine emotion in this song and it's backed up by perhaps the most powerful vocals I've heard yet from Kesha. Musically speaking, I've always been hit and miss with Kesha and you'll notice that if "Woman" hits next week (spoiler: I think it's an awful song). But I give credit where credit is due and "Praying" is phenomenal.

33- "Bank Account" - 21 Savage -- New 21 Savage album is out. And does anyone care? Well, apparently they do because he debuted at No. 33. But luckily he only has two songs for me to cover and I'm going through them quickly because I don't give a crap about 21 Savage and I want to focus on our other songs from him. So I listened to the first minute of this song and checked for a few things. First, does he mumble? Yes, he does. Like always, I can barely understand him. Second, is copying Migos? Yes, he is. Mumbling sound effect rap. Oh joy. And third, when I read the lyrics for the song, are they any good. But of course not. So I pass. I have better things to do than spend any more time with this garbage of a musician.

35- "4:44" - JAY-Z -- This is the fifth track from JAY-Z's album. It's also the title track of the album and is an open apology letter to his wife, Beyonce. There's a lot of honest, raw emotion in this song as he apologizes to Beyonce for not being the man he should be. I like it. The song is titled "4:44" because that's the time JAY-Z woke up in the morning to write and/or record this song. The length of the song is also 4:44, so that's cool. And it works very well as the title track of the album. An apology letter to your wife is a good thing to center your new album on. We also have a sample from the song "Late Nights & Heartbreak" by Hannah Williams & The Affirmations, which does a great job of fitting in with the flow of the song and setting the stage. And he stuck it right in the center of the album with his Beyonce collaboration, "Family Feud" coming directly after it.

47- "Bam" - JAY-Z featuring Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley -- This is the seventh track from JAY-Z's album. It's also the second time a Marley has shown up on the Hot 100 this year, with the first being Skip Marley as featuring on Katy Perry's "Chained to the Rhythm." Damian is the youngest son of the legendary Bob Marley and I really loved it when he opened and closed the song and showed up occasionally throughout. I simply enjoy the Jamaican reggae that the Marleys bring to the table. The JAY-Z stuff in the song isn't that interesting, though. It's kinda the exact opposite of his opening song, "Kill Jay Z." While that song is about him trying to kill his ego and become a different man, this is a song where he's kinda pompous and rude, saying he needs a bit of an ego to feel famous. So I don't think it fit well with the rest of the album. And I also got bored of his rap halfway through.

51- "Family Feud" - JAY-Z featuring Beyonce -- This is the sixth track from JAY-Z's album. After the beautiful apology that JAY-Z wrote for his wife in the song "4:44," which comes right before this one as the two songs are the dead center of the album, I was hoping for a good collaboration between him and Beyonce where they discuss their challenges and their relationship. But I was disappointed because that's not what I got. Instead this is a call to the black community to come together, which is good, I suppose. But the song isn't about him and Beyonce. In fact, she is relegated to back-up vocals in this song. She gives a few "Amen's" and lots of "Ha-ya's," but that's it. Now if I were to forget my expectations and instead focus on what the song is, I still don't think it has a ton of emotion in what he is saying and thus it feels very average compared to his other songs on the album.

52- "Sorry Not Sorry" - Demi Lovato -- We got Kesha earlier, Demi now and Selena later. The ladies are making an attempt to let their voice be heard. We'll see if the public accepts them. While I do love Kesha's new anthem, I'm not super madly in love with Demi's anthem here. She brings a lot of fire and attitude to the table as she's rubbing it hard in the face of whoever it is that hurt her because she's come out on top and she says it must hurt for this guy (I assume) to see her in this great of a position. The vocals are there. The attitude is there. But in Demi's case I think there's a little too much attitude and not enough emotion behind it. But compared to all of the trash that has shown up on the charts, I would be willing to get behind this if America accepts and embraces it. Demi's done better, but she's also done a lot worse.

55- "Kill Jay Z" - JAY-Z -- This is the opening track from JAY-Z's album. Going into this album, it's worth mentioning that I've never really been a JAY-Z fan, but I don't remember being as annoyed with him as I have been with other rappers. So I went into this album with an open mind, hoping that I would get something close to Kendrick Lamar's recent album that I enjoyed. At the very least I was hoping that it wouldn't be as boring as Drake or as annoying as Migos. This opening track certainly gave me hope. Now I always am confused as to how I'm supposed to stylize JAY-Z, so I went to the official track listing on my Apple Music to make sure I had it right. And at the moment, JAY-Z is the correct to stylize it, but the title of the song does indeed stylize it at Jay Z. It wasn't a Billboard mistake. And with that being correct, I was hoping that was intentionally a reference of JAY-Z wanting to forget about his old self and move forward as a new man. Put his past behind him. Hakuna Matata. Turns out that's exactly what this is. It's not someone wanting to kill JAY-Z or JAY-Z wanting to commit suicide. He's wanting to become a new man and I respect that!

56- "Smile" - JAY-Z featuring Gloria Carter -- This is the third track from JAY-Z's album. After having to try to decode a whole lot of meaning in "The Story of O.J.," it was nice for the third song to be more straightforward. Long story short, life can be really tough, but it really helps if you smile. Pretty basic, right? But when I say long story, I do mean long story. This song is nearly five minutes long, which isn't an awful length. But I did feel like it could've been a minute or two shorter and had the same effect. Gloria Carter here is JAY-Z's mother, who is revealed to be a lesbian in the song, which is affirmed by a nearly minute long outro to end the song where she talks about living in the shadows of a double life and how it's easier to smile and be yourself. That was an interesting choice to have a monologue from his mother to end the song. It did feel like we paused the album to hear from his mother as opposed to it feeling like the end of a song. But I appreciated the message she had to share. Throw in there a Stevie Wonder sample and we have quite the unique song here with a lot going on. But as I said, perhaps a bit more concise would've been better.

63- "Caught Their Eyes" - JAY-Z featuring Frank Ocean -- This is the fourth track from JAY-Z's album. And it's one that I found slightly boring. I think Frank Ocean brought a nice, smooth groove to the song, but overall the song just felt like a song to be played in the background and not one that was really necessary to pay too much attention to. But then in the second half it turns into a diss track towards Prince's people. Apparently Prince, who was always super picky with how his music was streamed, gave JAY-Z permission to stream his music on JAY-Z streaming service. Following his death, Prince's people are now suing JAY-Z over this and he is bitter. Or something like that. I'm not a fan of diss tracks, generally speaking, so this didn't help the song for me.

86- "Moonlight" - JAY-Z -- This is the eighth track from JAY-Z's album. And it seems like JAY-Z ran of out gas on the second half of this album after a very promising start. This particular song is called "Moonlight," after the best picture winning movie of the same name. Although it appears that instead of referencing events that happen in the movie, he does more referencing of how La La Land was announced as the best picture winner before it was realized that Moonlight actually won. He starts the chorus by saying he's stuck in La La Land and even when he wins, he loses. It's not an interesting song and it's also fairly short. So it makes sense that it only landed at No. 86.

89- "Glorious" - Macklemore featuring Skylar Grey -- Oh man, I haven't jammed out this hard to a rap song since... probably Macklemore's previous singles. Whenever those happened. I don't make it a secret that I'm not a fan of rap, but if all rappers were as vibrant, upbeat and awesome as Macklemore, I would love the genre. What he's rapping about is simple here. He's just saying he's back and feels glorious. But the beat is so catchy and fun that it reminds me of "Can't Hold Us." Yet if you look at the lines he gives, there's a lot of subtle genius in them that make me smile as he talks about faith, peace and what's most important in life. And his fast-paced rap is so fun to listen to that he doesn't even need Skylar Grey, but she's there anyway, and like Ray Dalton in the aforementioned "Can't Hold Us," she provides a nice, pop balance to the song. And she even completely takes over for the final 90 seconds of the song. I like Skylar Grey and I want more of her in the music world, so it's nice to see her on this track and I hope both of them find success with this.

90- "Marcy Me" - JAY-Z -- This is the ninth track from JAY-Z's album. There's one more on song on the album called "Legacy," which is actually a decent closer for the album, but it didn't chart here, so this is the final song we'll talk about. The song finds JAY-Z rambling on a bit, doing a lot of reminiscing and seeing how many random references to a whole lot of things that he can shove in the song. But it's also a fairly short song and even shorter for JAY-Z's part. He raps for a mere two minutes before letting the singer, rapper and producer named The-Dream finish off the final 54 seconds. In an ironic turn of events, those final 54 seconds are the only part of the song I found interesting as JAY-Z's bit I found a bit boring.

91- "Get Low" - Zedd & Liam Payne -- So moral of the story is that Liam Payne is desperate? First he does a bland, awful pop song with Quavo thrown in and now he tries for an EDM hit with Zedd? Sounds like someone who is just trying to be popular and famous instead of going the route of Harry Styles, who obviously wrote the music he cared about. Or is it the other way around with Zedd crying to Liam Payne, hoping he'll be another boost for him? But eh. Oh well. At least this is better than Liam's "Strip that Down" as well as Zedd's "Stay." Lyrically Liam is trying to hard to write a sexy song that doesn't come off as super sexy. It's not bad, but it's not great. However, if you search "Get Low" and Dillon Francis and DJ Snake's song with that title comes up instead, you should just listen to that. It's not a very clean song, but it has one of the absolute best drops and is super fun. Better than Liam's attempt to be sexy with an average Zedd beat in the background.

92- "Fetish" - Selena Gomez featuring Gucci Mane -- It's interesting that out of our three major female-led releases this week, they ordered themselves rather nicely from best to worst. Kesha's new single is phenomenal. Demi's new single is alright. Selena's new single is straight up bad. And I actually grew to really like "Bad Liar" and I loved "It Ain't Me" from day one, so I was intrigued by the direction she was going. But this is just a sloppy mess. She goes back to desperately trying to be super sexy, something she does way too much of, and in this instance it comes off as super foul with absolutely zero emotion or vocal range. Then we have our cliche third-verse rapper attached to the song. And in this case, Gucci successfully does what he does mess. Jump onto a messy song and make it smell worse. The man is a disgrace when it comes to musical talent and I'm embarrassed that our tone-deaf country continues to make him a thing.

94- "Famous" - 21 Savage -- Oh a second song from 21 Savage? At least he's not doing a Migos impression this time. But I can still only barely understand him and his lyrics aren't interesting. So I'm done here. Meanwhile, I'll just laugh at 21 Savage that he had horrible timing with releasing his album at the same time as JAY-Z and thus got completely shafted when it came to charting songs on the charts. Try again next time, 21. On second thought, how about you just don't. Get a job somewhere else and never sing another song in your life. No one wants to hear it.

Thursday, July 13, 2017

DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - July 22, 2017

The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to switch things up in the future, but for now this is what I'm sticking with. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:

1- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (=) -- "Despacito" has hit another milestone. It has officially climbed to the top spot on the radio charts, meaning this is the first ever Spanish song or mostly Spanish song to be No. 1 on the U.S. radio charts. I'd say that's an impressive feat. It's also still comfortably No. 1 on both sales and streaming, meaning it leads in all three categories used to determine the Hot 100. And it doesn't appear to have any immediate challenger at the moment to dethrone it. Next week will see it hit the double digit week mark, thus we'll start playing the game of how far can this song really go? Can it tie the 14-week total of our previous Spanish song, "Macarena"? And the big question, can it tie Mariah's all-time 16-week record? I ask this every time and so far every song has fallen short. I don't think this will be any different, but one of these days, that record is going to fall.

2- "I'm the One" - DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper & Lil Wayne (=) -- With the run of "Despacito" getting closer to historic marks, the other question we need to ask is which song is going to stop it. "I'm the One" is the biggest contender right now, but I don't think it has enough momentum to overtake it. And I certainly don't want it to.

3- "That's What I Like" - Bruno Mars (+1) -- OK, I'm glad that Rihanna got knocked down a spot. That gives me hope that the song won't be as huge as I fear, but really? Bruno goes back up?!?!? Can we please toss this song in the trash already and move onto something else?

4- "Wild Thoughts" - DJ Khaled featuring Rihanna & Bryson Tiller (-1) -- Yes, I'll repeat myself. I'm so happy to see this song fall a spot. Now keep falling. No one wants to see Rihanna get another No. 1 hit. Especially not with a piece of trash song like this.

5- "Shape of You" - Ed Sheeran (=) -- This song debuted at No. 1 back in January. And since that debut, it has yet to leave the top five. That's 26 straight weeks. I'd say this is getting ridiculous, but it already was ridiculous 10 weeks ago. Yet it's still here. I don't hate the song, but I hate that it won't go away!

6- "Humble." - Kendrick Lamar (+1) -- On the other hand, I am happy to see "Humble." rise a spot. Although I think that's more of Imagine Dragons taking a hit and not Kendrick Lamar reversing course and getting momentum back.

7- "Believer" - Imagine Dragons (-1) -- After last week's album bump caused this song to soar from No. 11 to No. 6, it only falls one spot this week. I thought it was going to take a bigger hit. But I suppose if you are a fan of this song, this is a good sign moving forward that this might have some staying power.


9- "Congratulations" - Post Malone featuring Quavo (-1) -- Yay!! This fell down a spot! Now get the heck out of the top 10!!

10- "Unforgettable" - French Montana featuring Swae Lee (+3) -- We ditched "Mask Off" this week and replaced with with "Unforgettable." I'm glad we had something good happen in the top 10 this week. Now let's get rid of our other junk and replace it with songs that are at least tolerable.

Rising on the Hot 100:

14- "There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back" - Shawn Mendes (+4) -- An iTunes discount sent this song soaring in sales this week and I was scared that it was heading into the top 10. Fortunately that didn't happen this week, but I'm still nervous that it will happen in the next week or two, because there's no way that this disgusting love affair that pop radio has with Shawn Mendes is going away anytime soon. I don't get it. Out of all the artists that the radio has knighted as a superstar, why Mr. Mendes?

15- "Attention" - Charlie Puth (+8) -- Same story as the previous song. An iTunes discount sent this song sailing, but luckily only into the top 15. Yet I fear that the top 10 is next.

26- "Feels" - Calvin Harris featuring Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry & Big Sean (+31) -- I really wish Calvin Harris, Katy Perry and Big Sean had as much excitement and passion in this song as Pharrell. Then I'd be happy that this song is doing well this week. Although I'm not buying that it's here to stay quite yet. Calvin Harris' album was recently released and that's why all his singles from the album had a great boost this week. So we'll see what happens to this next week.

28- "Strip that Down" - Liam Payne featuring Quavo (+5) -- I've noticed this song slowing down slightly. If it could lose all of its momentum before hitting the top 10, or even top 20, that would make me really happy. Let's encourage Liam to follow Harry's example and make good music.

32- "Slide" - Calvin Harris featuring Frank Ocean & Migos (+23) -- As I said with "Feels," Calvin Harris' album release is the reason why this song got a huge boost. So let's wait till next week to get excited or angry. Although out of all of Calvin's singles from his album, this is the one I'd be less upset at if it did well, which might surprise you given the Migos feature.

39- "Craving You" - Thomas Rhett featuring Maren Morris (+5) -- We turned Sam Hunt into a superstar with his wretchedly awful hit. Let's please not do the same with Thomas Rhett and his song that's not much better. Girls aren't drugs. They're not there for you to get your quick fix and satisfy your human, lustful desires. So "craving" is the wrong word to use. There has been plenty of genuinely romantic country songs to be released recently. Why can't one of those gain steam instead of this awkward and unromantic piece of trash that treats Maren Morris as a backup singer?

56- "Versace on the Floor" - Bruno Mars (+22) -- I'm not as madly in love with this song as some other people are, but if this continues to do well as Bruno's next single, at least that would hopefully mean that "That's What I Like" will FINALLY start falling. Hopefully.

62- "Do I Make You Wanna" - Billy Currington (+10) -- Yes, you make me wanna... cheer for this song to do well? If it meant booting off Sam and Thomas from the country charts, then I'd be happy.

84- "Escapate Conmigo" - Wisin featuring Ozuna (+12) -- I'd be totally fine with this song doing well. More Latino music is most certainly better than most of the crap that's polluting the charts right now.

New Arrivals:

70- "Mi Gente" - J Balvin & Willy William -- So I did some bit of translating with this song. I usually don't do that because I don't have a ton of confidence in Google Translate's ability to translate and thus I don't want to judge a foreign language song based on lyrics that I may or may not fully understand unless I were to have a native explain. But this one caught my attention, first off because the beat is extremely fun and catchy, but also because Willy William is French DJ and producer who throws in a touch of French into this most Spanish song. A Spanish and French mix? That's cool. And if I understand the song, it's about trying to break barriers among languages, thus trying to provide music the whole world can dance to. I like that idea. "Mi Gente" translates to "My People" and J Balvin said he hopes this song can unite people, regardless of race, color or the continent you live on. And I think it can do that because you don't need to know French or Spanish to love this song!

78- "Rake it Up" - Yo Gotti featuring Nicki Minaj -- We move on from a song trying to unite the world to a strip club anthem. And that's not even a label I came up with. It's in the intro of the song. Yo Gotti tells us that this is a strip club anthem and then he goes on to describe his experiences with making love with strippers and how he got them to sleep with him. And I guess that means Nicki Minaj represents the stripper in the song? I don't know. I didn't even make it all the way through the song before I was done. If you want a strip club anthem to jam out to, or you like going to strip clubs and listening to the music they have playing, then I guess this is your song. But I'll take a very hard pass.

85- "Bodak Yellow" - Cardi B -- Hey look! It's another female hip-hop artist not named Nicki Minaj! Although, I'm not sure this girl is much better. According to Wikipedia, this girl got her start as an exotic dancer before finally moving over to TV and becoming a popular TV personality and huge social media presence. And now she's signed a record deal and has released two mix tapes in the past year after signing a record deal. Now this is her first single to cross over to the Hot 100. And while Wikipedia isn't always the most reliable source, it appears to be accurate this time given that the lyrics of this song talk exactly about this journey of her's from exotic dancer and/or stripper to famous rapper. Then she spends the rest of the song bragging about how awesome she is, something that always annoys me in rap music. I will say that she's a less annoying rapper than Nicki, but that's not saying very much as my fist impression isn't a good one. And apparently, the song title "Bodak Yellow" is in reference to the rapper Kodak Black for some reason. I don't even know why.

87- "Who Dat Boy" - Tyler, the Creator -- The second rapper this week to crossover onto the Hot 100 for the first time this week. Although apparently Tyler, the Creator has released three albums in the last six years with his fourth coming up next week. But for some reason he never got a song to crossover onto the charts even though his songs have sold well. After listening to this song, I will give him a tiny bit of credit because he has a bit of personality and he's actually rapping, while not doing the Migos rap, but that's it with the slight praise. Because this is the first line of the song, "Yo, who dat boy? Who him is?" I don't get it. Why can't rappers use proper grammar? Or at least make an effort to try? Seriously. "Who him is?" Really? And why can't we say "that" instead of "dat." This high level of grammatical intelligence is all over in this song, so you can imagine how excited the song made me. Especially after the first 30 seconds sounded like a score from a weird sci-fi movie before getting into this dumb rap.

89- "Heartache on the Dance Floor -- Jon Pardi -- I saw the name of this song and thought that perhaps we'd get a song with an attempt at some depth and emotion. But nope. Definitely doesn't happen with this super twangy, super annoying country song. If I'm getting this right, Jon Pardi is singing about heartache on the dance floor, not because of being rejected by a girl or seeing a former girl of his dance with someone else, but because he saw an attractive girl dancing and then lost her. He wants to talk to her and get to know her, but she disappeared and he can't find her anymore. I found that super lame. Knowing my luck, this is going to get super popular because I think it's one of the dumbest and most annoying country songs I've heard this year.

99- "Extra Luv" - Future featuring YG -- I saw Future and YG attached to a song where they spelled love like "luv" and I didn't even want to listen. But I did. And to give kudos to Future, I could understand him in the song. Considering that most of his songs are him mumbling incoherently, that's always a positive. And this song doesn't do or say anything that I find super offensive or annoying, but it's more of a boring, hollow song with no emotion from either Future or YG and not much to say. He's just saying that this girl never really loved him, she just threw herself at him because he's famous. Yawn.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - July 15, 2017

The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to switch things up in the future, but for now this is what I'm sticking with. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:

1- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (=) -- Eight weeks at No. 1 for our Latino duo feeding off Bieber to actually be popular on the charts. Now we have two DJ Khaled songs on their tails, one of them also including Bieber, which means Khaled and Bieber both have two songs in the top three. I think that's some sort of weird, random phenomenon that doesn't happen too often. And only six more weeks until "Despacito" matches "Macarena." Can Khaled stop them in time before that milestone is crossed? And is that a good thing at all?

2- "I'm the One" - DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper & Lil Wayne (=) -- If DJ Khaled wanted this specific songs to hit No. 1, he probably shouldn't have released his Rihanna single so soon afterwards his Bieber single. And am I the only one that thinks Khaled seems like a leech with his two biggest singles from his album are featuring the world's biggest pop stars who are both guaranteed a huge hit any time they have their name on a song? It doesn't seem like Khaled cares about quality or music, but only cares about money and popularity.

3- "Wild Thoughts" - DJ Khaled featuring Rihanna & Bryson Tiller (+1) -- Rihanna debuted at No. 4 last week and rose a spot in her second week where most big debuts take a second week hit? Oh dear. That's not a good sign. We're in for a 20-25 week stay in the top 10 for this song, aren't we? And it's probably the next No. 1, isn't it? At least I can see why this is seen as catchy and fun to some due to the borrowed Santana guitar riff thing and the fact that Rihanna is actually coherent in the song. But do we really not care about lyrical content at all in this country?

4- "That's What I Like" - Bruno Mars (-1) -- Slowly falling. But it needs to fall faster. Something needs to rise up and knock Bruno out of the top 5. It's been way too long.

5- "Shape of You" - Ed Sheeran (=) -- And why in the heck is this still motionless?

6- "Believer" - Imagine Dragons (+5) -- Whoa! I did not see this one coming at all. I kinda expected this to jump up to No. 10 or No. 9 this week after slowly climbing to No. 11 over the course of the last many weeks. Great timing from Imagine Dragons' album release, which is why the extra boost this week. And do you know what? After weeks and weeks of boring nonsense that won't move, I'll take a sub-par Imagine Dragons song in the top 10. And if this song can help kick out Bruno and Ed from the top five, that's a win. But if this falls back down next week after the album boost this week, I also won't be broken-hearted. We shouldn't encourage Dan Reynolds and company to continue making average music when they are capable of so much more.

7- "Humble." - Kendrick Lamar (-1) -- Sadly Kendrick is slowly sliding down the charts. Wouldn't it have been great if this had hit No. 1 and stayed there for more than just a week?

8- "Congratulations" - Post Malone featuring Quavo (=) -- At least this didn't go up any spots this week. But I quickly need to find some wood to knock on before I curse it and force it higher.

9- "Mask Off" - Future (-2) -- Oh, hey! Something good happened this week. "Mask Off" fell two spots! Hopefully the next step is out of the top 10 soon! Is next week asking too much?

10- "Something Just Like This" - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay (-1) -- It's now been 61 weeks for The Chainsmokers in the top 10. And something tells me that is coming to an end in a week or two. It's strange that they released a full album, but haven't even pushed another single on the charts since that release. With the success of this song winding down, you would think they'd get on that.

Rising on the Hot 100:

13- "Unforgettable" - French Montana featuring Swae Lee (+3) -- If this is the song that replaces "Mask Off" or "Congratulations," I'd certainly be a happy camper. I'm not madly in love with this, but at least it's far better than those two.

19- "Now or Never" - Halsey (+2) -- There's a few songs that have been hanging out between 20 and 40 that I'm wondering what they're going to end up doing and most of them have managed to stay stuck in that range, which is mildly frustrating because I want new blood in our top 10 and it doesn't help things when our second level of songs won't budge. But this week Halsey is the one that sneaks into the top 20 out of the bunch of them. And for the sake of something new, I would welcome this.

44- "Craving You" - Thomas Rhett featuring Maren Morris (+9) -- Now for a few country risers and the middle section of the charts and this one I'm not happy about. Although I'm not surprised either because mainstream country has been in love with Thomas Rhett for a long time and even though the Maren Morris feature is an afterthought, her name alone also helps this.

45- "My Girl" - Dylan Scott (+11) -- On the other hand, I am super happy that Dylan Scott's song has broke the top 50. Let's send this one to the top of the country charts, please?

46- "The Cure" - Lady Gaga (+11) -- This Gaga song has had a surprising amount of resilience for a below-average Gaga song that I thought was going to officially die some time ago. But it's managed to hang around on the middle of the charts and now gets another boost into the top 50? Interesting.

54- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (+31) -- Just like "Believer" got a boost from Imagine Dragons' album release, "Thunder" also gets a huge boost and almost makes an appearance in the top 50. I don't expect this to last, though, and quite frankly it'll be therapeutic seeing it fall next week. No new debuts from them, though, which is mostly a good thing.

65- "Small Town Boy" - Dustin Lynch (+10) -- Two more country songs rising on the bottom half of the charts. "Small Town Boy" getting a rise is not a good thing. But it's not quite time to complain.

72- "Do I Make You Wanna" - Billy Currington (+21) -- Billy Currington's open-ended song I am fine with. I won't be offended if it does well, but I also don't think I will shed any tears if it sinks.

New Arrivals:

36- "Signs" - Drake -- Does the world need more Drake this soon? I mean, the guy just released a rather large and awful album earlier this year. Can't that hold us over until at least next year? Apparently not. Although the story here is that this song was written for a Louis Vuitton fashion show. The company sent Drake some pictures of the show and he wrote a song that premiered at the fashion show. And, well, this might surprise you, but it's not that bad. A song that's good enough to be played in the background of a fashion show where no one is listening to the lyrics, but are rather grooving to the smooth beat and Drake's mellow voice while enjoying the models on the runway. That's the type of song this is. I think Drake just threw together some quick, random lyrics that don't make a whole lot of sense, but for drake standards this is fine. For me personally it's on the level of "One Dance" or "Passionfruit." I'm not going to ever voluntarily play this song again, but I won't care if someone else does.

68- "Don't Quit" - DJ Khaled & Calvin Harris featuring Travis Scott & Jeremih -- Did I ever tell you I'm tired of listening to DJ Khaled yell the phrases "We the best music!" and "Another one!" at the beginning of every song. Oh, but he switched it up this time. Instead of starting out by saying those two lines, he first starts by yelling to Calvin Harris that "they ain't see this one comin'!" Well, Mr. Khaled, those people who recently listened to Calvin Harris' new pile of trash that he calls an album probably saw this one coming because he collaborated with all sorts of untalented rappers on that album that add nothing to his lazy beats that he throws under their hollow and perverted lyrics. Because Calvin Harris is trying to be hip and cool. Well screw you Calvin Harris and screw you DJ Khaled. But with this collaboration, I'm willing to bet I know how this conversation went. Khaled calls up Harris asking for a quick beat. Harris jumps on his computer and throws together a lazy loop that took him 30 seconds to create and sent it on over to Mr. Khaled. Then Khaled calls his friends Travis Scott and Jeremih and they spend an hour or two recording some bland, dumb lyrics. Khaled puts this together, records himself yelling a few random phrases and boom we have a song! Or rather what some tone deaf Americans call a song because this is straight up trash. I'm glad only a couple of songs from Khaled's album showed up this week.

71- "No Complaints" - Metro Boomin featuring Offset & Drake -- Raise your hand if you were dying to hear the next song from Metro Boomin! Now put them down, liar. No one cares. Especially since this is Offset and Drake jumping on board. And if this collaboration legitimately has you excited, then take that hand of yours that I just made you put down and use it to slap yourself in the face. Because making songs like this popular is what's wrong with music these days. This is pure and utter crap. It's Offset being Offset and you should know by now that I hate everything Migos related because I literally can't tolerate the sound of their rap. And I'm angry at the entire rap community for all the Migos copycats, which includes Drake when he comes in. What, did you actually think I could praise Drake twice in one day? Not happening. Now Metro Boomin is like DJ Khaled. He doesn't participate in the singing. But at least he has the decency to not yell random nonsense scattered throughout that makes me want to punch him in the face. So there's some kudos. But if this is his song that he produced, wrote or otherwise put together, he gets no credit from me.

88- "On Everything" - DJ Khaled featuring Travis Scott, Rick Ross & Big Sean -- Did I mention that I'm glad I only have to cover two DJ Khaled songs this week? Because there's 23 most likely pieces of trash disguised as songs on that thing of his he calls an album. I just hope more don't sneak into next week because I'm really done with this man and his music. All you have to do is look at this song's title and collaborators and you know exactly what it is. All the lyrics by all three of these punks are garbage. But at least Rick ross and Big Sean seemed to try to make it work. Rick Ross actually sounds like he's trying to rap and Big Sean doesn't make me want to punch him when he comes on. I can't say the same for Travis Scott, who is mumbling the heck out of his choruses, certain parts of which sounding like they got stuck in a blender while recording. We also have a decent enough beat surrounding everything, so I don't completely hate this one. Although it would be nice if it just dropped off the charts next week.

94- "Crew" - GoldLink featuring Brent Faiyaz & Shy Glizzy -- GoldLink, Brent Faiyaz and Shy Glizzy? GoldLink, who is a rapper that I've never heard of until now, apparently released his debut album at the end of last year and this was his lead-off single. I don't know how many people on earth listened to that album, but apparently Gucci Mane was one of them and recently released a remix of the song with him on it. But Billboard claims that it's the original that's charting and not the remix, so I'm talking about the original here, which is nothing special. But giving credit where credit is do, Brent Faiyaz has a good voice and GoldLink has good flow. I like how the song is arranged. Faiyaz starts and ends the song with a decent chorus while GoldLink and Shy Glizzy each get a quick verse. The song is short and to the point as it clocks in at just under three minutes. The big problem here is that I don't think this song is that memorable and Shy Glizzy's verse is pretty off-putting both musically and lyrically whereas GoldLink's verse is only off-putting lyrically as his actual rap skills are pretty good. And also in fairness, the first half of his verse is fine, but then it's the second half that crashes into a wall. Overall not awful. But not that great, either.