Thursday, July 13, 2017

DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - July 22, 2017

The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to switch things up in the future, but for now this is what I'm sticking with. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:

1- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (=) -- "Despacito" has hit another milestone. It has officially climbed to the top spot on the radio charts, meaning this is the first ever Spanish song or mostly Spanish song to be No. 1 on the U.S. radio charts. I'd say that's an impressive feat. It's also still comfortably No. 1 on both sales and streaming, meaning it leads in all three categories used to determine the Hot 100. And it doesn't appear to have any immediate challenger at the moment to dethrone it. Next week will see it hit the double digit week mark, thus we'll start playing the game of how far can this song really go? Can it tie the 14-week total of our previous Spanish song, "Macarena"? And the big question, can it tie Mariah's all-time 16-week record? I ask this every time and so far every song has fallen short. I don't think this will be any different, but one of these days, that record is going to fall.

2- "I'm the One" - DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper & Lil Wayne (=) -- With the run of "Despacito" getting closer to historic marks, the other question we need to ask is which song is going to stop it. "I'm the One" is the biggest contender right now, but I don't think it has enough momentum to overtake it. And I certainly don't want it to.

3- "That's What I Like" - Bruno Mars (+1) -- OK, I'm glad that Rihanna got knocked down a spot. That gives me hope that the song won't be as huge as I fear, but really? Bruno goes back up?!?!? Can we please toss this song in the trash already and move onto something else?

4- "Wild Thoughts" - DJ Khaled featuring Rihanna & Bryson Tiller (-1) -- Yes, I'll repeat myself. I'm so happy to see this song fall a spot. Now keep falling. No one wants to see Rihanna get another No. 1 hit. Especially not with a piece of trash song like this.

5- "Shape of You" - Ed Sheeran (=) -- This song debuted at No. 1 back in January. And since that debut, it has yet to leave the top five. That's 26 straight weeks. I'd say this is getting ridiculous, but it already was ridiculous 10 weeks ago. Yet it's still here. I don't hate the song, but I hate that it won't go away!

6- "Humble." - Kendrick Lamar (+1) -- On the other hand, I am happy to see "Humble." rise a spot. Although I think that's more of Imagine Dragons taking a hit and not Kendrick Lamar reversing course and getting momentum back.

7- "Believer" - Imagine Dragons (-1) -- After last week's album bump caused this song to soar from No. 11 to No. 6, it only falls one spot this week. I thought it was going to take a bigger hit. But I suppose if you are a fan of this song, this is a good sign moving forward that this might have some staying power.


9- "Congratulations" - Post Malone featuring Quavo (-1) -- Yay!! This fell down a spot! Now get the heck out of the top 10!!

10- "Unforgettable" - French Montana featuring Swae Lee (+3) -- We ditched "Mask Off" this week and replaced with with "Unforgettable." I'm glad we had something good happen in the top 10 this week. Now let's get rid of our other junk and replace it with songs that are at least tolerable.

Rising on the Hot 100:

14- "There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back" - Shawn Mendes (+4) -- An iTunes discount sent this song soaring in sales this week and I was scared that it was heading into the top 10. Fortunately that didn't happen this week, but I'm still nervous that it will happen in the next week or two, because there's no way that this disgusting love affair that pop radio has with Shawn Mendes is going away anytime soon. I don't get it. Out of all the artists that the radio has knighted as a superstar, why Mr. Mendes?

15- "Attention" - Charlie Puth (+8) -- Same story as the previous song. An iTunes discount sent this song sailing, but luckily only into the top 15. Yet I fear that the top 10 is next.

26- "Feels" - Calvin Harris featuring Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry & Big Sean (+31) -- I really wish Calvin Harris, Katy Perry and Big Sean had as much excitement and passion in this song as Pharrell. Then I'd be happy that this song is doing well this week. Although I'm not buying that it's here to stay quite yet. Calvin Harris' album was recently released and that's why all his singles from the album had a great boost this week. So we'll see what happens to this next week.

28- "Strip that Down" - Liam Payne featuring Quavo (+5) -- I've noticed this song slowing down slightly. If it could lose all of its momentum before hitting the top 10, or even top 20, that would make me really happy. Let's encourage Liam to follow Harry's example and make good music.

32- "Slide" - Calvin Harris featuring Frank Ocean & Migos (+23) -- As I said with "Feels," Calvin Harris' album release is the reason why this song got a huge boost. So let's wait till next week to get excited or angry. Although out of all of Calvin's singles from his album, this is the one I'd be less upset at if it did well, which might surprise you given the Migos feature.

39- "Craving You" - Thomas Rhett featuring Maren Morris (+5) -- We turned Sam Hunt into a superstar with his wretchedly awful hit. Let's please not do the same with Thomas Rhett and his song that's not much better. Girls aren't drugs. They're not there for you to get your quick fix and satisfy your human, lustful desires. So "craving" is the wrong word to use. There has been plenty of genuinely romantic country songs to be released recently. Why can't one of those gain steam instead of this awkward and unromantic piece of trash that treats Maren Morris as a backup singer?

56- "Versace on the Floor" - Bruno Mars (+22) -- I'm not as madly in love with this song as some other people are, but if this continues to do well as Bruno's next single, at least that would hopefully mean that "That's What I Like" will FINALLY start falling. Hopefully.

62- "Do I Make You Wanna" - Billy Currington (+10) -- Yes, you make me wanna... cheer for this song to do well? If it meant booting off Sam and Thomas from the country charts, then I'd be happy.

84- "Escapate Conmigo" - Wisin featuring Ozuna (+12) -- I'd be totally fine with this song doing well. More Latino music is most certainly better than most of the crap that's polluting the charts right now.

New Arrivals:

70- "Mi Gente" - J Balvin & Willy William -- So I did some bit of translating with this song. I usually don't do that because I don't have a ton of confidence in Google Translate's ability to translate and thus I don't want to judge a foreign language song based on lyrics that I may or may not fully understand unless I were to have a native explain. But this one caught my attention, first off because the beat is extremely fun and catchy, but also because Willy William is French DJ and producer who throws in a touch of French into this most Spanish song. A Spanish and French mix? That's cool. And if I understand the song, it's about trying to break barriers among languages, thus trying to provide music the whole world can dance to. I like that idea. "Mi Gente" translates to "My People" and J Balvin said he hopes this song can unite people, regardless of race, color or the continent you live on. And I think it can do that because you don't need to know French or Spanish to love this song!

78- "Rake it Up" - Yo Gotti featuring Nicki Minaj -- We move on from a song trying to unite the world to a strip club anthem. And that's not even a label I came up with. It's in the intro of the song. Yo Gotti tells us that this is a strip club anthem and then he goes on to describe his experiences with making love with strippers and how he got them to sleep with him. And I guess that means Nicki Minaj represents the stripper in the song? I don't know. I didn't even make it all the way through the song before I was done. If you want a strip club anthem to jam out to, or you like going to strip clubs and listening to the music they have playing, then I guess this is your song. But I'll take a very hard pass.

85- "Bodak Yellow" - Cardi B -- Hey look! It's another female hip-hop artist not named Nicki Minaj! Although, I'm not sure this girl is much better. According to Wikipedia, this girl got her start as an exotic dancer before finally moving over to TV and becoming a popular TV personality and huge social media presence. And now she's signed a record deal and has released two mix tapes in the past year after signing a record deal. Now this is her first single to cross over to the Hot 100. And while Wikipedia isn't always the most reliable source, it appears to be accurate this time given that the lyrics of this song talk exactly about this journey of her's from exotic dancer and/or stripper to famous rapper. Then she spends the rest of the song bragging about how awesome she is, something that always annoys me in rap music. I will say that she's a less annoying rapper than Nicki, but that's not saying very much as my fist impression isn't a good one. And apparently, the song title "Bodak Yellow" is in reference to the rapper Kodak Black for some reason. I don't even know why.

87- "Who Dat Boy" - Tyler, the Creator -- The second rapper this week to crossover onto the Hot 100 for the first time this week. Although apparently Tyler, the Creator has released three albums in the last six years with his fourth coming up next week. But for some reason he never got a song to crossover onto the charts even though his songs have sold well. After listening to this song, I will give him a tiny bit of credit because he has a bit of personality and he's actually rapping, while not doing the Migos rap, but that's it with the slight praise. Because this is the first line of the song, "Yo, who dat boy? Who him is?" I don't get it. Why can't rappers use proper grammar? Or at least make an effort to try? Seriously. "Who him is?" Really? And why can't we say "that" instead of "dat." This high level of grammatical intelligence is all over in this song, so you can imagine how excited the song made me. Especially after the first 30 seconds sounded like a score from a weird sci-fi movie before getting into this dumb rap.

89- "Heartache on the Dance Floor -- Jon Pardi -- I saw the name of this song and thought that perhaps we'd get a song with an attempt at some depth and emotion. But nope. Definitely doesn't happen with this super twangy, super annoying country song. If I'm getting this right, Jon Pardi is singing about heartache on the dance floor, not because of being rejected by a girl or seeing a former girl of his dance with someone else, but because he saw an attractive girl dancing and then lost her. He wants to talk to her and get to know her, but she disappeared and he can't find her anymore. I found that super lame. Knowing my luck, this is going to get super popular because I think it's one of the dumbest and most annoying country songs I've heard this year.

99- "Extra Luv" - Future featuring YG -- I saw Future and YG attached to a song where they spelled love like "luv" and I didn't even want to listen. But I did. And to give kudos to Future, I could understand him in the song. Considering that most of his songs are him mumbling incoherently, that's always a positive. And this song doesn't do or say anything that I find super offensive or annoying, but it's more of a boring, hollow song with no emotion from either Future or YG and not much to say. He's just saying that this girl never really loved him, she just threw herself at him because he's famous. Yawn.

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