Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (=) -- Part of me never thought this day would come. But it has. Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men charted their 16th and final week at No. 1 on the chart dated March 9, 1996 with their hit single "One Sweet Day." A record that stood for 21 and a half years. During that time period, there have been 26 songs prior to "Despacito" that hit double digits at No. 1 and all of them fell short of tying the 16-week, five of them getting all the way to 14 weeks before collapsing. But "Despacito" has done the unthinkable. Mariah and B2M won't have to give up their crown, but they will have to share it with the most unlikely trio of artists. Who would've thought that a couple of Latino superstars would be the ones to tie the record on the U.S. charts? But of course you look at Justin Bieber's addition to the party and it all makes sense. The three of them managed to break cultural barriers and deliver a hit for millions of people across the globe to enjoy, regardless of language.
I do say that part of never thought that this day would come. I phrase it that way because the other part of me knew it was only a matter of time before it happened, especially since songs are camping out longer and longer in the Hot 100 thanks to the increased presence of streaming in our culture, which naturally has a longer shelf life for songs than radio or sales. Since 2013, songs have averaged 11 weeks in the top 10 and that number only seems to be getting higher. Compare that to Mariah's day when the average was just under 9 weeks. And that is even nearly double the five weeks they averaged from the beginning of the Hot 100 in 1958 until the introduction of the Nielsen SoundScan in 1991. So you can still say that Mariah's run is more impressive.
Does "Despacito" have a shot at breaking the record by getting to 17 weeks? No. It doesn't. If you haven't heard, Taylor Swift released a song just in time that will be soaring up to No. 1 next week as she's set to have the biggest week of sales for any song since Adele's "Hello." Now the question will be how long will "Despacito" remain in the top 10? The aforementioned "One Sweet Day" only lasted 19 weeks in the region after its 16-week run at the top. Radio for "Despacito" has started to collapse and sales probably won't hold for much longer, but solid streaming should keep it around.
2- "Wild Thoughts" - DJ Khaled featuring Rihanna & Bryson Tiller (=) -- I've been saying for weeks now that "Wild Thoughts" didn't have enough chart points or momentum to stop "Despacito" before it got the record. And I was right. It wasn't rocket science, though, so don't praise me too much. Now with Taylor Swift sweeping in next week, "Wild Thoughts" is looking to be stopped altogether from reaching No. 1. And quite frankly I'm happy. Rihanna doesn't need another No. 1. She's had about 20 too many of those. And this song is one of her worst.
3- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)" - Cardi B (=) -- I'm certainly glad this monstrosity isn't getting any higher. Yes, I'm glad that a solo woman was able to make it into the top three, but I didn't want this solo woman to be the one to do it. I'll be much happier with Taylor Swift being the woman to break the trend because she's much more deserving.
4- "Believer" - Imagine Dragons (+1) -- Imagine Dragons moves up a spot because "Unforgettable" has started to tank. I actually find that sad. I would've preferred French Montanta and Swae Lee to stay in the top five over Imagine Dragons. That's strange.
5- "Attention" - Charlie Puth (+1) -- Copy and paste the last comment. Except for that last sentence. It's not strange for me to diss on Charlie Puth. The man is bland and boring and I wish that the radio would give up its love affair with this untalented man.
6- "Unforgettable" - French Montana featuring Swae Lee (-2) -- Again, I'm sad that this is dropping. I would've been totally fine if this had eventually snuck its way to the top of the charts. But now it's looking like it is on its way out of the top 10.
7- "There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back" - Shawn Mendes (=) -- More boring, bland white boys singing bland pop songs that the radio has a love affair with. At least we have a small win by keeping this untalented white boy out of the top five yet another week. I mean, we've already had enough damage to the music industry by having this song exist in the first place, let alone break into the top 10. Can we please have a small win by not allowing it into the top five?
8- "That's What I Like" - Bruno Mars (=) -- Why won't this song go away?
9- "Shape of You" - Ed Sheeran (=) -- I want this song to go away, too. But I have to stop and recognize another major milestone in Billboard history right here as Ed Sheeran now stands on his own with Billboard's second most prestigious record, the longest number of weeks any song has spent in the top 10 with 33 weeks... and counting because it won't go away. Ed broke out of the three-way tie he joined last week and shoves LeAnn Rimes' "How Do I Live" and The Chainsmokers' "Closer" down into second place. I do find it sad to see LeAnn fall from this spot after what has now been 20 years. But again, with how long songs are staying in the top 10 today, LeAnn Rimes still has the more impressive run as she did it when staying in the top 10 for that long was unheard of while Ed has done so in a time where a lot of songs have come awfully close.
10- "Rake it Up" - Yo Gotti featuring Nicki Minaj (+14) -- Gross. We already have Cardi B, the Nicki Minaj wannabe, in the top 10. And now we have the queen of trash herself in the region as well? It had this huge of a jump because of the music video being released. I can only hope that the momentum stops here because this really is one of the worst songs of the year. Each week I give the new songs a grade on my Excel file to make it easier on me in creating my best and worst songs of the year. This song I gave a flat out F grade. And I stand by that.
Rising on the Hot 100:
11- "Strip that Down" - Liam Payne featuring Quavo (+2) -- This is heading into the top 10, isn't it? Well, I suppose I'll take this if it means kicking anything from No. 7 to No. 10 out since those songs have already overstayed their welcome. Although with Taylor soaring to the top spot next week and the VMA's impacting sales, it'll be interesting to see what actually happens next week.
18- "Sorry Not Sorry" - Demi Lovato (+7) -- Demi announced her new album and released her newest single. I believe that's what helped this song get a decent jump. And do you know what? I totally fine with this. I'll take a decently average Demi song over our any other females in the top 10 right now. But I'm not confident this will actually get there.
29- "1-800-273-8255" - Logic featuring Alessia Cara & Khalid (+8) -- I'm not sure what has caused this song's most recent resurgence after I thought it was on its way out, but I'm cool with that. This song has helped a lot of people and I think it's decent musically. The VMA performance will help it get another huge boost next week.
38- "What Ifs" - Kane Brown featuring Lauren Alaina (+6) -- We now have three country songs currently in the top 40, with this being the highest riser of the bunch. And I'm fine with this joining the club, I suppose. It's better than the other two at the moment, that being "Body Like a Back Road" by Sam Hunt and "Small Town Boy" by Dustin Lynch. But let's get a good country song to the top of the country charts, please?
41- "Young Dumb & Broke" - Khalid (+8) -- I keep being more or less neutral about this song rising fast. It's not great. It's not awful. It just kinda exists. Although it would really be nice if that Marshmello song with Khalid was the Khalid song rising, but it dropped this week after its debut last week. And this song is another VMA performance, so I'm anticipating a big jump next week.
45- "Drinkin' Problem" - Midland (+6) -- No. This is a country song that needs to go away. I don't care if I lived in a city called Midland once. I want the country band called Midland to disappear.
58- "When it Rains it Pours" - Luke Combs (+10) -- Unlike Luke Combs actual lyrics, I'm going to use this phrase correctly. When it rains, it pours! We have Luke Combs joining Midland, Kane Brown and Lauren Alaina rising this week. There's some good country songs on the charts. Can't country radio accept one of those and send it to the top?
75 "B.E.D" - Jacquees (+14) -- Not time to panic, yet. But let's not encourage this guy to make more music.
New Arrivals:
20- "Friends" - Justin Bieber & BloodPop® -- I'm a lot more happy that I should be that I got the ® on BloodPop® in there. That's all I'll say about that. I had never heard of BloodPop® before this song came out. And that's probably because he mostly only did writing and production work and this is his first released single as a part of the music instead of just being behind the scenes. Although a quick wiki search revealed to me that his previous stage name was Blood Diamonds and then the light bulb went off. Blood Diamonds did a pretty sweet remix of my favorite Ellie Goulding song, "Anything Could Happen," on the "Halcyon Days" album. Maybe he should've kept the name Blood Diamonds. That sounds cooler to me. But anywho, his electronic work with this song is what makes it work on an otherwise average Bieber track. Thus this reminds me a lot of "2U" by David Guetta and Bieber. Although I do think the lyrics are somewhat more interesting and fairly relatable with Bieber asking the age-old question, "Can we still be friends?" Stated after a breakup. Yes, that can happen. But it's hard to pull off. I would've been fine if this had debuted at No. 1. But I think I'm more happy with it debuting at No. 20 because that seems to be a better fit.
34- "I Get the Bag" - Gucci Mane featuring Migos -- Oh my goodness. Did someone just serve me up a plate of horse manure with a side of cow pies? Gucci Mane AND Migos on the same song? I almost just skipped this song, but I did my due diligence and gave it a listen. Although I didn't make it very far. Mostly because I got bored. After a very typical Quavo opening, Takeoff drones on and on with perhaps the most boring rap verse ever. It's super long with no groove and mostly all on the same note with a lot of mumbles. Like Offset recorded it while drunk and high in the studio and 3 a.m. without any previous warm-up. I didn't make it to the Gucci part of the song, which apparently doesn't happen until the second of two verses. So this is more like Quavo and Takeoff featuring Gucci Mane. Because Gucci is barely in this and Offset is not in it at all, so I feel they're cheating by calling this Migos. Anyways, this is as awful as you might think. I don't know how this can be referred to as music.
53- "Roll in Peace" - Kodak Black featuring XXXTENTACION -- Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Gucci Mane featuring Offset-less Migos followed by the untalented Kodak Black featuring the man who should go back to prison and leave the world alone? OK, maybe that's mean, but this XXX dude got popular while in prison and has been nothing but trouble ever since. Yet because making prison rappers famous is the cool thing to do, Kodak Black decides to feature him on his song right around the time where XXX's album gets released. Yikes. Luckily he doesn't show up until the end of the song, but that's no consolation because we just have to deal with an awful Kodak Black for most of the song, mumbling through his nonsensical, dirty, useless lyrics with no groove or flow. Yeah, I lasted longer on the Gucci/Migos song. This is a piece of filth.
77- "Look What You Made Me Do" - Taylor Swift -- Oh hey. I didn't expect this song to get here this week. Taylor released it Thursday night, just in time for next week's tracking week. But I guess this song's sales are so huge that it sneaked into No. 77 with just a few hours of release, meaning Taylor officially misses the chance to debut at No. 1, because this is an absolute guarantee to skyrocket 76 spots next week and stop "Despacito" from breaking the record. So let's get to it!
From the second I listened to this song, which was shortly after its release, I knew this was going to receive a ton of mixed reaction. It's safe to say that this song can be summed with her moment of dialogue towards the end, wherein she says, "I'm sorry. The old Taylor can't come to the phone right now. Why? Oh. Because she's dead!" It's safe to say our innocent, young country pop Taylor is long gone and she's had quite the transformation over her career. But is it a good transformation or just another slip off the deep end like Miley Cyrus in 2012? I'll let you decide what you think of that, but I actually appreciate the transformation she's gone through. Instead of giving us the same stuff each album, she's experimented and evolved. She's written music that represents the feelings and emotions she's gone through. Because, yeah, an 18-year old Taylor is going to have different things on her mind than a soon-to-be 28-year-old Taylor and her lyrics reflect that. Yeah, I know her age. Because it's mine. Her last album was titled "1989" after her birth year. Which is my birth year. So you can say that Taylor and I have progressed through adulthood together.
Specifically with this song, she's just blowing out all the anger and frustration she has towards the world's most unintelligent couple, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian. If you don't know about this feud, go look do a Google search. And laugh at all the horribly awkward things Kanye and Kim have done and said. Sprinkle in a little bit of Katy Perry's boneheadedness of late and Taylor is dealing with a lot of crap. And yes, she should be Christlike and turn the other cheek. But as a human being, sometimes you just need to explode and vent about the horrible things happening around you. I'm not a fan of diss tracks, but this is a loaded, sharp, hatred-filled diss track where every line is a direct attack at yet another dumb moment that's been thrown in her face and as I dug deep into the lyrics of this song, I was blown away by how detailed and emotional every single lyric of the song was and how it connected all together for a huge punch in the face towards Kim, Kanye and Katy.
Musically I also enjoy this. It's very catchy and infectious with quite the range of instrumentation and quite a bit of electronic influences thrown in, which makes me curious about how the whole album will sound. The only thing I don't really like is the chorus. I find it a bit annoying. But outside that I think it's a solid song from T-Swift. If you hate the song, then you'll probably still hate it. But if you were on the fence, give it another chance, because this has the potential to grow on you. And again, the more you know about this drama, the more meaning the lyrics will have.
79- "Younger Now" - Miley Cyrus -- Speaking of Miley Cyrus, here she is right after T-Swift! And talk about someone who's gone through quite the transformation. She went from every 8-year-old girl's role model to the prime example of a singer who's seemingly decided to throw her life down the drain to, well, now. "Malibu" floored me with how great and normal it was. I expected awful Miley still and I got the old Miley back. And that's why I find this song interesting. It's the title track and opening number to her upcoming album "Younger Now" where she expresses that she feels like a new person. She feels younger again, yet she's not afraid of who she used to be because everyone changes and the experiences in life shape you into the person you will become. Even though this album is not out yet, this feels like a great introductory song to her new album where she unveils the new Miley, which then leads right into "Malibu," which is followed by a yet unreleased collaboration with Dolly Parton called "Rainbowland." Standing on it's own, the song is fairly basic and surface level, but I feel it will be a solid intro to an album that I'm excited about!
80- "It's Every Night Sis" - RiceGum featuring Alissa Violet -- I can't believe this is happening. Remember that song "It's Everyday Bro" by that punk kid Jake Paul whose arrogance and cockiness was higher than just about anyone I've seen. Yeah, well apparently it was somehow a diss track towards this Alissa Violet girl and this RiceGum dude got offended, so he teamed up with Alissa Violet to write a direct attack on Jake Paul and his song. OK, I get it. I hate the song, too. But this diss track in retaliation is just as bad, if not worse. Like, I have no idea what stupid, childish feud this group of crybabies is having, but the world doesn't need to hear about it. The only good thing about Jake Paul is that his songs only lasted a week on the charts. Let's hope that's the same here because it's an absolute shame that either of these songs charted when great songs like "Symphony" by Clean Bandit and Zara Larsson don't. But hey, that's 2017 for you. "Symphony" has charted everywhere else in the world, but not here.
82- "Transportin'" - Kodak Black -- I think Kodak Black's album dropped and that is why we have two of his songs to discuss today. Let's just praise the music gods that two songs is all he got because having to go through anymore would be an atrocity. I mean, two Kodak Black songs is already two too many. At least in this song, though, there's no punk prison thug tagged along with Kodak. But that's also the problem. This is just Kodak and no one else. So I had to sit there and listen to Kodak mumble incoherently through three minutes of song. I mean, I've heard worse from Kodak. But that's not saying much. Most things Kodak touches turns to giant piles of horse crap.
90- "Questions" - Chris Brown -- Another rapper that the world doesn't need any new music from. At least this time he's not singing graphic, disgusting sex songs like he is is his previous single, "Privacy." The problem here with "Questions" is that there's nothing to this song. It's a part of his upcoming eight studio album that includes 40 tracks. Yes, you hear that right. 40. This one just over two minutes long and all he does is tell the girl he has a question for her that he wants an answer to. That's it. He repeats that over and over some basic, "I love you" lyrics in the two verses. And he doesn't even reveal to us what the question is. He just says he has a question. If the whole album is going to be this empty, well, I don't know how people can call this interesting music. I just hope that we don't get much of anything from this album on the charts. If I had to cover 40 Chris Brown songs in one week, I probably just wouldn't do it. One is bad enough.
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