Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- Bodak Yellow (Money Moves) - Cardi B (+1) -- And the Taylor haters rejoice. Ms. Swift could only manage three weeks on top. Meanwhile, Cardi B sneaks onto the top thanks to continually increasing streaming, a 69 cent iTunes discount that sent sales and minor increase to so-so radio play. That aforementioned iTunes discount means this is subject to falling right back off the top spot once sales come back down to earth. But as is, Cardi B is now celebrating becoming just the fifth female rapper to ever top the charts, following Lauryn Hill, Lil' Kim, Shawnna and Iggy Azalea. Among that group, Cardi B is only the second to reign without the help of any other artist, joining Lauryn Hill, who did so back in 1998 with "Doo Wop (That Thing)." So that's kinda cool. Lady rappers don't come around very often and an even fewer number of them achieve mainstream success. I'd be happier for Cardi if this song was worth anything. I was about to call this the worst No. 1 hit of 2017, but then I reminded myself that Migos' "Bad and Boujee" was actually a thing earlier in the year. So Cardi lucked out there.
2- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (new) -- Can someone please explain to me why we let these two thugs debut this high? At least we avoided the bullet of them debuting at No. 1. That would've been embarrassing for this country. I really hope this goes away quickly following this debut, but the 46 million US streams in their first week has me nervous. Because for some reason rap dominates on streaming, so that number typically sticks around. My opinion of the song down below.
3- "Look What You Made Me Do" - Taylor Swift (-2) -- I keep hearing the word "flop" around the internet after Taylor could only manage three weeks at No. 1. And it makes me want to quote Inigo Montoya: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." A song that got 353,000 first week sales and reigned for three weeks at No. 1 is ineligible for being referred to as a flop. Not performing as some expected, given how well "Shape of You" and "Despacito" performed? Perhaps. I, too, am surprised how fast the song is losing traction. Maybe not the best sign for Taylor's album. But don't be dumb and call the song a flop. If I'm being honest, though, I'm not too upset. Three weeks at No. 1 is plenty for me and I'm fine with songs taking quicker turns at the top instead of camping out there for too long.
4- "1-800-273-8255" - Logic featuring Alessia Cara & Khalid (-1) -- Logic is still gaining streaming and radio with this song, which is a great thing. Post Malone's debut shoved it down a spot is all. But I anticipate and hope for a rebound next week.
5- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (-1) -- "Despacito" I am fine with not getting a rebound. The song lived a long life at the top and now it's time to go. I just wonder what the reputation of this song will end up being.
6- "Unforgettable" - French Montana featuring Swae Lee (+1) -- Oh hey. Another pleasant surprise. I was expecting this song to disappear from the top 10 after it started to fall, but now that's two straight weeks of gaining in the top 10. I'm cool with this.
7- "Believer" - Imagine Dragons (+2) -- You know, The Killers released their fifth studio album this past weekend and it's phenomenal. Give it a listen! I really wish they could actually chart a song somewhere on the charts. If Imagine Dragons can send bland, boring rock songs, then awesome rock songs with depth and meaning to them should be able to at least chart, right? But probably not. So I talk about it here because I'm really done with Imagine Dragons right now.
8- "Rake it Up" - Yo Gotti featuring Nicki Minaj (+8) -- I'm not shocked to see this back. I'm also not very happy and I really hope it loses traction again and goes away ASAP.
9- "Attention" - Charlie Puth (-1) -- We FINALLY got rid of Shawn Mendes this week! Now we just need the radio to give way on Charlie Puth so we can get rid of him, too.
10- "Feel it Still" - Portugal. The Man (+4) -- HOLY COW!!!!!! This hitting the top 10 almost makes me forgive the fact that half of this top 10 is complete garbage and call this the best top 10 of the year. But I'll come back down to Earth and say this top 10 for the most part still sucks. But I'm so happy to see this here and I really hope this continues to gain traction and rises even higher. It's about dang time we get some real quality music in the top 10 that will actually stay around for longer than a week. There is some justice in the world of music.
Rising on the Hot 100:
23- "What Lovers Do" - Maroon 5 featuring SZA (+6) -- I'm bracing myself for my weekly complaint as to why the heck the radio fell in love with another bland Maroon 5 song. I just hope that this makes like "Cold" and freezes over so that it will disappear. But I feel it's catchy enough for people to somehow give it a pass, which makes me angry. Why can't we just give up on Maroon 5?
30- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (+10) -- NO!!! I was really enjoying the fact that this song had a hard time gaining traction, but seeing it have a good jump two weeks in a row really has me scared. No more Imagine Dragons, please? Let's toss them to the wayside and forget they existed.
37- "Say You Won't Let Go" - James Arthur (+6) -- James Arthur wishes he would've made the top 10. And I wouldn't have minded it. Seeing him get a slight rebound actually reminds me that this song existed and is fairly enjoyable. But I haven't missed it.
44- "When it Rains it Pours" - Luke Combs (+5) -- Why is this the country song gaining the most traction this week?
46- "Crew" - GoldLink featuring Brent Faiyz & Shy Glizzy (+5) -- I totally forgot this song existed. I gave it a C- in my little Excel chart back in July. That must mean that I wasn't too impressed, but didn't hate life while listening to it. But I honestly can't remember what it sounds like and I don't care enough to go give it another listen. If it continues to gain traction, maybe I'll give it another listen to refresh my memory. But not this week.
47- "Heartache on the Dance Floor" - Jon Pardi (+5) -- No love for country this week as Luke Combs and Jon Pardi are the only two songs to gain significant rises. Shame. There's actually some good country songs around, but of course country radio chooses to accept the bad ones.
61- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (+10) -- Halsey is bad at love and also bad at disappearing from the charts. I can't panic yet because this hasn't yet broke top 50 and her previous singles didn't do incredibly well. But I still hope this loses traction soon.
71- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (+10) -- Why in the name of everything good and right did this song INCREASE this week? I was hoping it would be a one and done on the charts given how untalented this thug is even when compared to the other untalented thugs that do so well. Let's not make Lil Pump a thing because that means other people are going to want to start collaborating with him because that's what they do when rappers gain traction. And that would be awful.
79- "Pill and Automobiles" - Chris Brown featuring Yo Gotti, A Boogie wit da Hoodie & Kodak Black (+19) -- At least it makes sense why this song gained traction this week. It actually has real rappers. And that's the nicest thing I'll ever say about these four, so if you're a fan of either one, then take notes. But don't get too excited because this is still an awful song that doesn't deserve to be rising. It's just not as bad as the horrendous Lil Pump song ahead of it.
New Arrivals:
2- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage -- Before I listened to this song, I turned out and jammed to Nickelback's "Rockstar" from 2005. Don't judge me. That's a fun, self-aware song where Nickelback makes fun of the life of rock stars. A life that Post Malone and 21 Savage will NEVER experience because they are NOT rock stars. So when they write a song called "rockstar" and sing about how they feel like rock stars, it is incredibly stupid. Because apparently the only requirement, according to Post Malone, to be a rock star is to sleep with women and do drugs. That's what this is. Then 21 Savage comes in and forgets that they are singing about rock stars and says that he feels like a pop star. Also wrong. The only positive thing that I can come up with is that I've heard much worse from these two, but that's not saying much.
66- "Too Much to Ask" - Niall Horan -- For better or for worse, Niall is the only former 1D member that is writing songs that actually sound like 1D songs. Zayn went completely crazy, Harry went 70's rock, Liam went desperate and Louis decided to write good music. Niall has decided to stick to the simple, hollow love songs that 1D was famous for. Except he doesn't have the vocals or talent to make me care. He has an album coming up here on October 20 and I have a feeling it's going to be the type of album that will put me to sleep, despite my Apple Music claiming it will only be 10 songs and 35 minutes long. "Too Much to Ask" is very similar to "This Town" and "Slow Hands." It's slow, simple and sounds like Niall himself recorded it while he was sleep deprived. He gives a very basic breakup ballad where he is sad about losing this girl and wants her back because he's not over her yet and hopes that she isn't over him, either. We've never heard that before, have we Niall? The song isn't offensive or horrible. It's just forgettable. Like most of 1D's stuff when they were together.
67- "Curve" - Gucci Mane featuring The Weeknd -- Word on the street is that Gucci is working on a collaboration with Jake Paul. Someone please just send the apocalypse already so we don't have to be subjected to that. In the meantime, we get subjected to this collaboration with The Weeknd, who once upon a time actually recorded an album that I enjoyed. Strange. That seems so long ago. Because every time The Weeknd is featured on a song I keep telling myself that maybe he'll at least be decent, but he's not. In this song, The Weeknd has two short bars that he repeats over and over with different words each time. And that's supposed to be music. I don't know how people are entertained by such boring, dull repetitions, especially when the lyrics are pure trash. Meanwhile, Gucci plays Migos for most of the song until he finally gives himself a verse towards the end where he gives his normal, disgusting Gucci stuff with lyrics I don't care to repeat. Can we please get rid of this guy?
85- "DNA" - BTS -- I was wondering if I was going to have to cover these guys this week. I saw their album was released and almost gave it a listen out of curiosity. But I decided to wait. BTS is the band that I refer to as the Korean One Direction and they have a HUGE online, social media presence. The Billboard's formula here in the U.S. only takes into account U.S. streaming numbers or else these guys would certainly be a lot bigger. I call them the Korean 1D because there's seven of them and they really only sing generic love songs that require only one singer, but the seven of them switch off taking the melody. Which is not the style of boy band I like. I prefer harmonization among the members with each member having a specific purpose in the band. That's not what I get here. Not only do I have a hard time telling the difference between them when they switch off, but I listen to this and feel like we could get rid of four or five members and BTS would still sound the exact same. The thing that sets them apart from 1D is that Koreans love their EDM. So BTS is really like a EDM Korean 1D, which makes it kinda fun to dance to, especially since I can't understand what they are saying. The English translation of this song on Genius assures me that the lyrics are essentially a pointless afterthought, anyways. So I'll take this. I don't expect it to stick around, though.
92- "Homemade Dynamite" - Lorde featuring Khalid, Post Malone & SZA -- It's always great to see Lorde on the charts, especially after "Green Light" and "Liability" both failed to gain any traction, which I'm still mad about. "Melodrama" is my favorite album of the year, one that I give a solid A grade to. "Homemade Dynamite" slides in right at track No. 3 and it's the song that I call the lesser of the songs on "Melodrama," but I still think it's a solid song and I'm happy to see it here. Even though I call it the lesser song, it still adds to the narrative of the emotions she is going through on the album. All of "Melodrama" is her first experience with adulthood, which comes with quite the crazy train ride, if you know what I mean. So there's a lot of ups and downs on the albums. When she hits the downs on the album, it's deep, depressing and emotional. When she hits the ups, it's fun and upbeat. This song is one of those ups. And it's an early up before her life collapses. She's just out having fun with this guy and she is hoping that this relationship will go somewhere.
That's the original, anyways. This remix is the same tone, but it adds a whole lot of voices. I suppose that's what we get when the first two songs fail as singles. Lorde goes into the wood works and re-records a song with some of the bigger names in music at the moment in hopes that she will gain relevance. It's unfortunate that she had to do that, but I blame America for rejecting her and forcing her hand. So how does this turn out? Well, not bad actually. Each singer gets a verse, adding their experience to this crazy, wild night, and they come together on the choruses. And surprisingly, all singers do well with their verse. Even Post Malone. My problem is that the original narrative speaks specifically of two individuals hoping to spark a relationship. If it were just Lorde and Khalid, I would have zero problem with this. But SZA and Post Malone's parts don't make any sense to the overall story of the song. It's like Lorde and Khalid transformed into SZA and Post Malone. I don't really like that. It's confusing and unnecessary and only done for Lorde to gain relevance. I still hope this succeeds, but this remix takes things down a notch in terms of quality with too many voices.
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