Wednesday, December 27, 2017

DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - January 3, 2018

The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to switch things up in the future, but for now this is what I'm sticking with. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:




1- "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran & Beyonce (=) -- We're starting 2018 off on the right foot. At least at the top spot of the charts with Ed Sheeran and Beyonce repeating at No. 1 for their third week. And yes, this Billboard week is dated Wednesday, January 3. That's because this is the week where Billboard is transitioning to the correct week instead of being a week ahead. Next week's charts will be dated Saturday, January 6 and from then on the chart will be dated the Saturday following the release of the charts instead of the Saturday of the week after. It makes sense that Billboard would fix that. I'm surprised they didn't do it earlier. Back to "Perfect," the song is now cemented in at that top spot as it is in the lead on streaming, sales and is about to take over on radio. Aiding its numbers even further this week is yet another version of the song titled "Perfect Symphony" with Ed Sheeran and Andrea Bocelli. I'm not sure if Andrea Bocelli is going to be given credit along with Beyonce moving forward, but he should if his version is contributing to the total. They can title it "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran and Beyonce or Andrea Bocelli. That would give Andrea Bocelli his first ever Hot 100 entry in the U.S. His albums have always sold well and he's charted singles over in Europe, but not in the U.S. It'd be cool if we gave him one.

As far as that third version of the song goes, I'm not sure it works as well in context. The original version is Ed Sheeran singing to his girl. "Perfect Duet" is Ed Sheeran and Beyonce singing to each other. "Perfect Symphony" is Ed Sheeran and Andrea Bocelli each singing to their own girls, I think? They're certainly not singing to each other as both specifically address a female at the beginning and it would be weird if we had two guys singing to the same girl. Thus we are doing this "Glee" style with multiple voices taking turns singing the same song when multiple voices aren't needed. I've never been a fan of that style. But man, Andrea Bocelli has such a beautiful voice that in the end it really doesn't matter if the context of the song makes sense. And he, of course, is singing in Italian, which makes it even prettier. Then Ed Sheeran joins him in Italian for the final verse, which is a nice touch that Ed does a good job with.

2- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (=) -- The rest of the top 10 is fairly boring as we kind of got stuck in a holiday rut with our current top 10, especially with our current top five. Post Malone unfortunately hangs on to his No. 2 spot. Even though Ed Sheeran passed him on streaming, the streaming for "rockstar" essentially remained the same, meaning I don't think Camila is going to be able to pass him.

3- "Havana" - Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug (=) -- Even though Camila is still stuck behind "rockstar" and it doesn't look like she'll be able to pass it, she does celebrate her third week on top of the radio charts, although Ed Sheeran is quickly coming for that crown as well as Camila has 135 million in total radio audience while Ed Sheeran has 125 million with Ed rising faster as Camila has peaked.

4- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (=) -- This is the most frustrating song to get stuck in the top five. I really want the streaming here to die already because that's the only reason this is here. But at least I can celebrate the fact that this didn't go No. 1.

5- "No Limit" - G-Eazy featuring A$AP Rocky & Cardi B (+5) -- OK, I'm happy that Imagine Dragons got booted from the top five, but I'm not sure we got an improvement with this pile of horse manure replacing it. Luckily it's jump this week was due to the release of the music video, meaning it has the potential to fall back out of the top five next week.

6- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (-1) -- That means "Thunder" might go back to the top five next week? That would be unfortunate. We really need a song that's tolerable to start gaining more momentum.

7- "MotorSport" - Migos, Nicki Minaj & Cardi B (-1) -- It's fortunate that this song also dropped a spot after the release of the music video. If this would just stay here in the bottom half of the top 10 that would be great.

8- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (-1) -- It's kind of sad seeing Sam slowly drop off. With most of the songs ahead of it being trash (minus "Perfect" and "Havana"), it would've been nice if this was the song that gained more momentum and at least camped out in the top five. But oh well. At least it gained some traction.

9- "All I Want for Christmas is You" - Mariah Carey (=) -- I was really wanting this song to get a bit higher following its historic week last week, finally breaking the top 10 after 23 years of existence, becoming the first Christmas song in quite some time to make it into the region. But at least we got to see this in the top 10 for a couple of weeks and I hope to see it back next Christmas. With Christmas being officially over, all these holiday songs are going to start dropping out either next week or the week after.

10- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (-2) -- It's nice to see Halsey hiccup and nearly fall out. We didn't need this song to become a major hit. Reaching the top 10 was bad enough. Hopefully it manages to stay down. I don't really want this song to recover.


Rising on the Hot 100:





15- "Him & I" - G-Eazy & Halsey (+11) -- Although I'm not sure which Halsey song I would prefer. Her dull take with "Bad at Love" or this dull love song with her boyfriend that doesn't manage to convince me that they're madly in love with how little chemistry they have on the song or how dull the writing of their love song is. Let's just keep both songs away. And let's also stop making G-Eazy a thing. No one cares about his dull rap.

16- "I Fall Apart" - Post Malone (+3) -- I would really like it if "rockstar" would die already and leave the top 10. I also would really like it if it WASN'T replaced by this. Post Malone is someone who we should just leave in 2017 and admit to our bad mistake of making him a thing. This song is just about as uninteresting as "rockstar" as Post Malone whines and complains that he couldn't buy a girl's love with all his fame and riches. As if that's all he thinks girls care about.

26- "Plain Jane" - A$AP Ferg (+20) -- This song has a hard time sticking in my head. I have to go re-listen to it every week to even remind myself of what the heck it is. A 20-spot jump scares me because that makes me believe this is a contender to make the top 10 and we don't need yet another dull rapper to be given huge success. I don't know much about A$AP Ferg, but I don't want him around.

29- "The Weekend" - SZA (+10) -- OK, if I have to pick between G-Eazy, Post Malone, A$AP Ferg and SZA, I'll pick SZA. But it's a really bad sing for 2018 when we start of the year with four boring songs being the songs that are the ones rising on the charts.

30- "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" - Brenda Lee (+4) -- Keeping track of our Christmas songs again for probably the final week. It was fun having them around and it's always great seeing Brenda Lee's upbeat Christmas song around. I look forward to seeing it again next season!

32- "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" - Andy Williams (+3) -- The most wonderful time of the year is now over, but we can all have positive outlooks on life with the new year coming.

37- "The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You)" - Nat King Cole (+1) -- Nat King Cole jumps up a spot in the final week of Christmas tracking. I hope to see him back next year as this song is one of the better Christmas songs.

38- "A Holly Jolly Christmas" - Burl Ives (+3) -- I never did watch Rudolph this year. I forgot about that. Maybe I'll catch up on it late, just for fun.

42- "End Game" - Taylor Swift featuring Ed Sheeran & Future (+7) -- Is this song actually going to gain traction for Taylor? I hope not. 2017 was a miserable year for her new album. And although there are some songs from the album that I think she should release as singles, this is not the one I want to go anywhere. I would prefer that it died with the rest of her songs that are mostly dead now.

43- "Last Christmas" - Wham! (+1) -- I was hoping to see this song get a bit higher than No. 43, but oh well. It's not the best Christmas song, but it's good to have it around.

46- "Lemon" - N.E.R.D. & Rihanna (+12) -- If I'm not mistaken, N.E.R.D. released their new album, which I believe is what gave this song a boost. I've been expecting it to gain a lot more traction as it seems has all it needs to be a major hit, but it's been mostly M.I.A since it's release. But now that it jumped into the top 50, is it finally going to start gaining traction or will it just fall back down next week? We'll have to wait and see.

49- "Feliz Navidad" - Jose Feliciano (re-entry) -- This first debuted last Christmas season on the Billboard charts and it made me really happy to see it. It looks like it will only get one week this year, but it was good to have it back anyways.

50- "Jingle Bell Rock" - Bobby Helms (re-entry) -- I honestly can't remember if this was one of our Christmas entries last Christmas. It wasn't a new debut like "Last Christmas" and "Feliz Navidad" were as it has accumulated 20 weeks on the charts, but this is another fun, upbeat Christmas song that pairs well with "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree," so it's fun to have them both here.

63- "Marry Me" - Thomas Rhett (+29) -- I shouldn't ever be surprised when Thomas Rhett gets a huge boost on the charts. Country radio loves this guy and sometimes pop radio pick up on him, too. And I'm not really sure why as he doesn't have a lot of talent in him and in terms of songs called "Marry Me," this will never be the one that comes to my mind first even if this isn't the worst song Thomas Rhett has ever written.

80- "No Smoke" - YoungBoy Never Broke Again (+13) -- This is only at No. 80, so no need to panic yet. But YoungBoy Never Broke Again is a rapper who I'd like to keep in 2017, both because of his ridiculous name as well as his uninteresting rap songs.


New Arrivals:




11- "River" - Eminem featuring Ed Sheeran -- I still haven't listened to Eminem's album. It's on my to do list. But I saw this track on the album and was intrigued because Ed Sheeran with Eminem seems intriguing. And I thought Ed Sheeran's chorus that starts the song was an intriguing introduction. Yet when Eminem came in, I find myself more interested in hearing what Ed Sheeran would've come up with if this was his own song because Eminem's verses are quite boring. He has his rhyme schemes and flow down, but he's missing his typical fire and passion. Instead he's singing about this awkward love triangle that fails for everyone. A guy is cheating on his girl. The girl finds out and cheats on the guy with Eminem. Then Eminem gets her pregnant. The guy and Eminem then figure out what the girl is doing and they both dump her, thus making everyone miserable. The story ends with Eminem forcing the girl to get an abortion. Nope. Not buying this one. Remember in "Walk on Water" where Eminem talks about him thinking a song is great until he later hears it on the radio and realizes it's actually a piece of trash? Yup. That's what's going to happen hear. At least I hope so. Because Eminem is capable of a lot better and I hope he's smart enough to realize this song is crap so that he can come up with something better next time.

67- "Tennessee Rain" - Addison Agen -- Three of our next four songs come from the season 13 finale of "The Voice," which was won, not by Addison Agen, but by Chloe Kohanski, the girl who covered "Total Eclipse of the Heart" in the second week of the Top 12. Before this week, that was the only season 13 song that charted. In the season finale, the four finalists did a cover, a duet with their coach and an original. The three songs that charted were originals. This song from Addison won her second place, but she gets the last laugh by charting higher than Chloe. With this being my first introduction to Addison as I don't actually watch "The Voice," I can definitely see her appeal. She is easy on the eyes and easy on the ears. I really love her voice on this original song and thus I'd be fine if country radio made her a thing, even though no one from "The Voice" ever amounts to much. As far as the song goes, it's a bit empty. Her guy breaks up with her and she cries like a Tennessee rain as she doesn't know how to deal with this unhappy ending. That's it. So I'd like more depth from Addison as she moves forward with her career, but there's potential here.

69- "Wish I Didn't Love You" - Chloe Kohanski -- Now onto our actual winner, I can definitely predict that this wasn't a runaway win for Chloe just by listening to both songs. I like Addison's voice better. She has a more clear, beautiful voice that sounds more innocent while Chloe's voice is fairly unique and husky. Addison hits the higher notes better while Chloe cracks a bit when she tries to go high, but her style is more unique and her song is more interesting. Addison's song was beautifully sung, but simple and fairly empty. This song is also about Chloe being sad about a lover, but there's more complexity to the lyrics and a bit more emotion as Addison's song sounds like a teenage girl experiencing her first breakup. I like both songs, but I do think I'd give the edge to Chloe because her song is more interesting even though Addison's is better sung. I'm not sure how much content of the song is taken into consideration here. Maybe it's possible that Chloe won because of her rock-solid cover of "Bette Davis Eyes" while Addison's cover was "Humble and Kind," a song that I find kinda boring. At least when compared to "Bette Davis Eyes." As a side note, this song by Chloe did kinda remind me of Simon & Garfunkle's "El Condor Pasa (If I Could)."

82- "Ice Tray" - Quavo & Lil Yachty -- Before we get to our final charted performance from "The Voice" finale, we have to make it through this pile of garbage. Billboard lists this simply as Quavo and Lil Yachty, so I'm sticking with that instead of adding Quality Control like Apple Music does as this is an album released by Quality Control. Who or what is Quality Control? That's Migos' record label. Record labels don't need to be credited on songs. That's dumb. What's also dumb is this song. If you like Migos, maybe you'll like this as it's not the most offensive Migos song. I just find it boring as Quavo and Lil Yachty both sound half asleep in the recording booth and of course we the typical echoes and sound effects from Quavo which I find super annoying as always. And what does the phrase "ice tray the gang" even mean? I don't know and I don't care to know, either. But Quavo repeated it over and over, which was annoying.

84- "I Pray" - Red Marlow -- This can't be this guy's real name, can it? A stage name for his musical career that he may or may not have after getting fourth place on season 13 of "The Voice." Also, how old is this guy and how high is the age limit on "The Voice"? On "American Idol" you had to be younger than 30, but this guy looks like he's well into his 40's. That aside, I can definitely see why this guy got fourth place. Although it was nice to get a little southern baptist sermon while I was listening as this song seemed like it came straight from this guy's church, this guy sounds exactly like all the other boring male country singers in the business all writing cliche country songs with their deep southern twangs. I'll take a pass. Addison and Chloe were definitely a lot more lovable as I would totally be fine if this was Red's only Billboard hit in his career. And before I move on, are we going to ignore the fact that the person with the best voice, Brooke Simpson, got third place on "The Voice"? Her song "What is Beautiful" is the best of the four original songs and her cover performance of "O Holy Night" was stunning. Yet she can't chart on the Hot 100? That's sad. Maybe she got third place because "Wrecking Ball" with Miley was mediocre. Also, as a bonus listen, Brooke sang "Titanium" with Sia as part of the non-competitive performances. That's pretty incredible. Go give it a listen.

92- "Believe" - Eminem -- We finish this week with another song from Eminem's "Revival." And, oh my goodness, what in the frack are you doing Eminem? This song has three super long, boring verses separated with a brief hook and the song is done Migos style with short disconnected phrases. I can usually count on Eminem to at least give me flow and passion, but neither are here. This song is super choppy and it feels like Eminem is dragging me through a bunch of sludge as it drags like crazy. And to add to that, I have no idea what Eminem is saying here. At least that is usually clear, but here it's really not. As this is probably the worst Eminem song I've ever heard, I'm now really nervous about listening to this entire 19-track album.

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