Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran & Beyonce (=) -- Last week we were dated January 3. This week we are dated January 6. You'll notice that January 6 is this Saturday, so Billboard has finally made it so they are on the same week as the rest of the world. Congratulations Billboard! Now we'll celebrate our 53-week Billboard calendar year? Anywho, Ed Sheeran and Beyonce now celebrate their fourth week at top thanks to great numbers across the board, although the song falls back behind "rockstar" on streaming and hasn't quite caught up to "Havana" on radio, meaning ginormous sales are what leads the way. In general, sales were up across the board thanks to post-Christmas song purchasing with gift cards and what not, as you'll see in our rising songs section, but "Perfect" leads the way with 163,000 sales.
New competition will be on its way soon as Justin Timberlake has announced his new single "Filthy" and respective music video will be dropping Friday at midnight, meaning it will impact the charts two weeks from now. This single will lead the way to Timberlake's fifth solo album "Man of the Woods," which will drop February 2, two days before Timberlake will perform at the Super Bowl halftime. So 2018 could be the year of the Timberlake if all goes well. Timberlake had a great year in 2016 with his song "Can't Stop the Feeling!" and that was just for the DreamWorks movie "Trolls."
2- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (=) -- Can someone please explain to me why this song has celebrated 15 weeks in the top two? Do fans of Post Malone who enjoy this song even think that this song is deserving of becoming one of the top songs of all time based on chart points? Some rap songs I can understand why they are popular even if I don't like them. This I don't get the appeal at all.
3- "Havana" - Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug (=) -- Camila celebrates her fourth week on top of the radio charts, narrowly edging out Ed Sheeran again. I imagine that lead won't last for long, though. I just hope this song can somehow manage to pass "rockstar" and get back to No. 2.
4- "No Limit" - G-Eazy featuring A$AP Rocky & Cardi B (+1) -- OK, I'm glad that "Gucci Gang" is no longer in the top five. But it would've been nice if we could've replaced it with something else instead of seeing this rise to No. 4. I mean, I'll take this over "Gucci Gang" any day of the week, but not by a whole lot. No one on earth cares about G-Eazy. He's one of the most boring and dull rappers we have today. The only reason he is here is because of Cardi B, so both him and A$AP Rocky better be singing her praises for boosting them both to career highs in terms of peak positions on the Hot 100.
5- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (+1) -- "Thunder" returns to the top five thanks to a combination of Christmas sales, "Gucci Gang" dropping and the arrival of the new medley with "Young Dumb & Broke," which debuts on its own at No. 69 this week. More on that song down below. But I really hope "Thunder" drops back down next week as I was rather enjoying seeing this has-been rock band gone from the top five. But as I said with "No Limit," let's get something worthwhile into the region to replace it.
6- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (-2) -- I'm super happy this tanked a bit this week, foreshadowing its departure from the top 10, which I hope happens sooner rather than later as this never belonged on the Hot 100 in the first place.
7- "MotorSport" - Migos, Nicki Minaj & Cardi B (=) -- It was nice to see this not have any increased momentum this week. While "No Limit" is skyrocketing in streaming still, this song already seems to have peaked on streaming and is starting to digress, which is hopefully a sign of it either staying on the bottom half of the top 10 or going away altogether. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part.
8- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (=) -- You may have noticed that this song was pretty high up on my list of favorite songs that I released last week. So obviously I'm glad that it's sticking around. It's easily the best song in the top 10 even if the rest of Sam's album isn't quite as phenomenal.
9- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (+1) -- Mariah slipped out of the top 10 and will probably be gone next week thanks to Christmas being over, which means Halsey got to jump up a spot. Let's just hope that's a temporary jump because I like the idea of this song leaving the top 10. She's overstayed her welcome already.
10- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)" - Cardi B (+2) -- With Cardi B sneaking back into the top 10 thanks to Mariah leaving as well as Christmas sales, Cardi has achieved something few artists have ever achieved. She is only the third artist ever to have her first three Hot 100 entries in the top 10 at the same time. The previous two were The Beatles and Ashanti. In terms of any act tripling up in the top 10, debut songs or not, she is only the fifth female to ever accomplish this feat after Ashanti, Adele, Ariana Grande and Iggy Azalea and 15th overall. I'd be happier for Cardi if I actually cared for her music, but I really don't. This is the only song of the three that's even tolerable. The other two, even though she's the best part of both songs, are both complete trash. But it figured it would be a fun thing to point out anyways as this is a pretty significant historical achievement. More Cardi coming later as she has two new debuts this week.
Rising on the Hot 100:
11- "Love." - Kendrick Lamar featuring Zacari (+11) -- This song showing up at No. 11 makes me so happy. It got a huge boost this week thanks to the music video, meaning it's not guaranteed to go top 10 next week, but I really hope it does as you've noticed that there are a number of songs in the top 10 that I would love for it to replace. This is the type of cross-genre hit from Kendrick that I think works great as a hip-hop song as well as a pop song, so if it becomes a monster hit in 2018, I will feel so refreshed as I really hope other rappers are noticing the monster success of Kendrick and learn that it's OK to make good rap songs instead of their usual crap.
18- "Young Dumb & Broke" - Khalid (+15) -- As I mentioned with "Thunder," I'm guessing this song got a huge boost this week thanks to the new medley of the two songs that debuted on the charts this week. That and Christmas sales. Thus I hope that's a one-week boost as I would really like it if this more boring Khalid song didn't get any higher than it is right now. I like Khalid, but he's done much better than this and we should encourage him to write better music.
25- "Believer" - Imagine Dragons (+15) -- I've mentioned this a couple of times, but every year in the weeks following Christmas, sales skyrocket across the board as people use their Christmas gift cards to purchase all of the previous year's popular music. You'll see with this song and the next few which songs were the biggest beneficiaries. It does make me sad that people are wasting their money on Imagine Dragons. They could've done a lot better with their money.
30- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (+6) -- Christmas beneficiary. Thus this is probably the last time this will be mentioned on one of these lists. Now that it is fading away, I wonder how many people are actually going to remember this. I'm thinking that we'll look back on this and wonder why we let this song rule for 16 weeks.
37- "That's What I Like" - Bruno Mars (+11) -- Christmas beneficiary. Certainly no one is going to remember this Bruno Mars song in the future. He's done so much better that I really confuses me as to how this became one of his biggest hits.
44- "Attention" - Charlie Puth (+5) -- Christmas beneficiary. Barely qualified for this section of the list, which makes me upset.
45- "Marry Me" - Thomas Rhett (+18) -- I suppose this also could be a Christmas beneficiary. But I think this one is mostly going up naturally. I'm not sure I see the appeal here. Thomas Rhett is boring and shouldn't be given airplay on country radio and definitely shouldn't see crossover to pop radio.
48- "What About Us" - P!nk (+14) -- Christmas beneficiary. I suppose I'm glad this was popular enough to make it onto Billboard's year end list, but this deserved so much better. I wanted this to be a lot bigger than it actually was.
50- "Candy Paint" - Post Malone (+8) -- Another Post Malone song that's rising naturally. Because we've knighting Post Malone as a superstar for some bizarre reason. This is a fairly inoffensive song compared to "rockstar," but that also could be because it hasn't soared into the top 10, so I've not had reason to be offended quite yet. But if this continues going higher, that could change.
66- "Look What You Made Me Do" - Taylor Swift (+10) -- Christmas beneficiary. Even though Taylor's album "reputation" sold well, one of the surprises of 2017 was how poorly her songs performed on the charts. Maybe if she would release "New Year's Day" as a single her fortunes might change as I can see people getting behind that song because they have seemingly rejected her other "reputation" singles.
New Arrivals:
14- "Bartier Cardi" - Cardi B featuring 21 Savage -- I know Cardi B currently has her first three Hot 100 entries all in the top 10 at the same time, but I think the only benefit there is that it's made her super cocky and arrogant instead of being humble and grateful for the honor. At least that's how I interpret her in this song because all she's doing is bragging about how famous she's become and how much money she's earned in a way that oozes arrogance and haughtiness. In addition to that, she's bragging about how she's taken your man. And later on... your woman, making sure to mention that your woman is now naked with her. So she's sleeping with guys and girls that she's stolen from people. In other words, this song has all the things that make me hate rap because there is zero creativity in the lyrics. Fame. Fortune. Sex. That's 90 percent of rap songs today and it got old the first time it happened. To make things worse, Cardi doesn't even have her fire or her flow that she has on the some of the other songs. So this is lazy and has the awful Migos flow. Did I mention that it has 21 Savage in it as well? You could've guessed that he would come in and make a bad song even worse. And you'd be exactly right. Enough said.
52- "La Modelo" - Ozuna & Cardi B -- We move from Cardi to more Cardi. But this time it's Cardi in Spanish? So this is mainly an Ozuna song, a 25-year-old reggaeton and Latin trap singer from Puerto Rico. He could've brought on anyone he wanted for this song, but instead of choosing another Latino singer that would've fit the song better, he brings on Cardi in order to cash in on this Latino revolution on the U.S. Hot 100 that caught fire in 2017. For the most part he keeps Cardi in check as they smoothly bounce off each other, both singing in Spanish, giving me the idea that Cardi has the ability of singing a normal song if she ever wanted to. But then he gives her an English rap verse, which feels extremely out of place and done just for sales and not because it made sense musically. Comparing that verse to Cardi's previous song I just talked about, this song is a million times better as Cardi is much more restrained on Ozuna's song than her own. And luckily for me, I have the pleasure of not knowing what's being said outside Cardi's one verse. But since Cardi's verse does make me facepalm, I had to check out Genius' English translation and this song is extremely shallow. The dude has a girl, or at least a baby mama, but decides to leave her because he saw Cardi and Cardi is too beautiful. So without even knowing her name, he wants Cardi to be with him and dance in her underwear for him. If that translation holds true, this song is useless. But even if we pretend that I didn't read that translation, the beat and the flow is a lot more boring than other Latino songs that have shown up in the last year.
65- "Eye 2 Eye" - Huncho Jack featuring Takeoff -- I saw this collaborative album coming. It was all over my Apple Music this past week or so. What I was confused who Huncho Jack was and why he/they were doing a collaborative album with Travis Scott and Quavo titled "Huncho Jack, Jack Huncho." But I figured I'd wait to figure this out until time to dive in. What I learned was that Huncho Jack IS Travis Scott and Quavo. Suddenly things made a lot more sense. And suddenly I was dreading having to cover these seven songs even more. So let's get this over with.
This first song sees Travis and Quavo saying that they see eye to eye. In that they're both rich, famous and so much better than everyone else. Yawn. I will say that this song isn't annoying by any means. It's just boring and unoriginal. Can we sing about anything other than being rich and famous? For people who like rap, why is it so interesting to hear the same words sung over and over in nearly every single rap song? I don't get it. Takeoff isn't any better when it comes in for his third verse rap feature. Although he does put some personality into said verse whereas Travis and Quavo sound like they just went through the motions in creating a lazy, dull song.
68- "Modern Slavery" - Huncho Jack -- NO!!! Travis and Quavo, you two do NOT get to compare your situation to those in the past who were slaves. It's a real disgrace that you even tried. In terms of the beat, this song doesn't annoy me. But the lyrics just hit a nerve as they say their slavery is to their money, drugs and luxury in a way that parallels slavery in the 1800's. No. Just... no. Talk about your demons and your struggles if you want. But don't compare it to slavery. And what's with the Otis Redding sample at the beginning? "Cigarettes and Coffee" is a great soul song from the 60's that they start off with, but then they jump right into their slavery song, which has nothing to do with that Otis Redding song. This song is a shame.
69- "Thunder/Young Dumb & Broke (Medley)" - Imagine Dragons & Khalid -- I mentioned this one a couple of times today because the arrival of this medley helped boost both individual songs on the charts this week. On record, I don't think either song is particularly bad. You won't see them show up on my list of least favorite songs of 2017 that I will be releasing before too long. I just think "Thunder" is a very empty, lifeless rock song while "Young Dumb & Broke" is kinda boring and feels about as unintelligent of a song as he's claiming he is in his lyrics. So how do they mesh together? Well, they don't. In fact, they do quite a bit of clashing. Now I decided with this that "Young Dumb & Broke" would be much better with a more upbeat, rock edge to it, but combining it with "Thunder" is not the recipe to make it a better song. And in terms of medleys, this isn't a good one. The transitions from one song to the next are quite abrupt and for most of the song they simply take turns playing their song instead of having an interesting mashup like has often occurred on this award shows. When they come together at the end, I just feel like someone is playing two songs at once and I want to tell said person to turn one of them off. So no, this doesn't work for me.
71- "Black & Chinese" - Huncho Jack -- Travis and Quavo singing about doing drugs. Why this is an interesting subject matter to sing about or for people to listen to is beyond me. Unless you enjoy doing drugs and imagine yourself doing drugs with Travis and Quavo while listening to this boring rap song that has Travis mumbling through half of it, then I have no idea why you'd ever listen to this. And I don't know what the whole Black and Chinese thing has to do with anything. They just say that phrase then go off on them talking about drugs. I was expecting some sort of racist commentary about sleeping with Black or Chinese girls. But it doesn't. It's just about them doing drugs.
83- "Dubai S---" - Huncho Jack featuring Offset -- Dubai is a very fancy, luxurious city in United Arab Emirates. As you know. Thus you should know that when rappers sing about Dubai, they are just singing about living a luxurious lifestyle. As you know. So this is the exact song you expect it to be coming from such lazy, uninteresting rappers as Travis, Quavo and Offset. Let's move on.
87- "Huncho Jack" - Huncho Jack -- "Huncho Jack" by Huncho Jack. So we're going to get Travis and Quavo singing about themselves, right? About, you know, how rich and famous they are? How they're so much better than everyone else? How they're going to steal your girl? Yup. That's exactly what this is. Except in this instance Quavo says he's got your girl on porn. Meaning he not only stole your girl, but he created a porn video out of her? And Quavo is bragging about that? Again, why is this music people listen to? Remember how I said in the previous songs that many of these songs weren't annoying, but were just boring and dull? Yeah, that's not the case here. They get super carried away with their sound effects, meaning this song is unlistenable.
90- "Motorcyle Patches" - Huncho Jack -- Travis Scott's favorite song from the album, which he apparently said before performing it live for the first time. And I'm not sure why. This is as dull and uninteresting as they come with these two. I made it through a minute of this before I stopped because it also was super annoying with too many echoes and sound effects. And then I read through the lyrics and I'm not even sure I know what they're talking about. A bunch of random phrases that don't connect together. I can take individual statements that are about them being rich and famous, but the song as a whole doesn't flow together as one cohesive statement.
92- "Saint" - Huncho Jack -- This is the final track from this album that I'm covering this week, so let me end with this. WHY? Every track that I've covered here talks about a combination of fame, fortune, drugs and sex. This was apparently a highly anticipated album that these two were excited about and spent a lot of time on. SO WHY IN THE FREAKING HECK WRITE A FREAKING ALBUM FULL OF THE EXACT SAME FREAKING STUFF THAT BOTH ARTISTS HAVE SPENT THEIR WHOLE CAREERS RAPPING ABOUT?!?!?!? I don't give a darn about how rich you are! I don't give a darn about how famous you are! I don't give a darn about how much drugs you plan on doing! I don't give a darn about how many girls you plan on having sex with! STOP SINGING ABOUT IT!!!!!! I. DON'T. CARE. And if anyone listening to these songs claims they are good and genius, you need to question your life choices because I don't understand why you can listen to a thousand different songs from all these untalented rappers who only sing about fame, fortune, drugs and sex. It's both disgraceful and lazy.
Now that I got that off my chest, this song is about how rich both artists are. How creative and original.
94- "Stir Fry" - Migos -- After trudging through all that Travis Scott and Quavo stuff disguised as Huncho Jack, we finish the week off with Migos. And you didn't really think I would give this song the time of day did you? My rule for this annoying trio is I give them 30 seconds. If they annoy me in the same way they normally do with all their sound effects, echoes, short bars and meaningless lyrics that sound like they came from a random phrase generator, then I quickly move on with life. That's the mindset I had here. Let's just get this over with. And...
WAIT, WHAT??
This is actually NOT annoying. It's upbeat and catchy. It has a much different production than Migos normally has as it has a very poppy instrumental behind Migos' rapping with a lot of electronic undertones infused in. Mixed in is a sample from the fun, upbeat 60's song "The Champ" by The Mohawks. Sure, the lyrics are just as useless as they have always been for Migos with them dropping a lot of random fast foot references while bragging about their success and a lot of those phrases are just weird like "Dance with my dogs in the nighttime," "Trap with the chickens like Popeye's" and "She got a big ol' onion booty, make the world cry." So don't get any ideas that I think this is a good song that I'll download to my library and listen to, but Migos made a tolerable song and thus I'll definitely take this over possibly anything they've done previously.
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