DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - October 7, 2017

The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to switch things up in the future, but for now this is what I'm sticking with. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:

1- Bodak Yellow (Money Moves) - Cardi B (+1) -- And the Taylor haters rejoice. Ms. Swift could only manage three weeks on top. Meanwhile, Cardi B sneaks onto the top thanks to continually increasing streaming, a 69 cent iTunes discount that sent sales and minor increase to so-so radio play. That aforementioned iTunes discount means this is subject to falling right back off the top spot once sales come back down to earth. But as is, Cardi B is now celebrating becoming just the fifth female rapper to ever top the charts, following Lauryn Hill, Lil' Kim, Shawnna and Iggy Azalea. Among that group, Cardi B is only the second to reign without the help of any other artist, joining Lauryn Hill, who did so back in 1998 with "Doo Wop (That Thing)." So that's kinda cool. Lady rappers don't come around very often and an even fewer number of them achieve mainstream success. I'd be happier for Cardi if this song was worth anything. I was about to call this the worst No. 1 hit of 2017, but then I reminded myself that Migos' "Bad and Boujee" was actually a thing earlier in the year. So Cardi lucked out there.

2- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (new) -- Can someone please explain to me why we let these two thugs debut this high? At least we avoided the bullet of them debuting at No. 1. That would've been embarrassing for this country. I really hope this goes away quickly following this debut, but the 46 million US streams in their first week has me nervous. Because for some reason rap dominates on streaming, so that number typically sticks around. My opinion of the song down below.

3- "Look What You Made Me Do" - Taylor Swift (-2) -- I keep hearing the word "flop" around the internet after Taylor could only manage three weeks at No. 1. And it makes me want to quote Inigo Montoya: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." A song that got 353,000 first week sales and reigned for three weeks at No. 1 is ineligible for being referred to as a flop. Not performing as some expected, given how well "Shape of You" and "Despacito" performed? Perhaps. I, too, am surprised how fast the song is losing traction. Maybe not the best sign for Taylor's album. But don't be dumb and call the song a flop. If I'm being honest, though, I'm not too upset. Three weeks at No. 1 is plenty for me and I'm fine with songs taking quicker turns at the top instead of camping out there for too long.

4- "1-800-273-8255" - Logic featuring Alessia Cara & Khalid (-1) -- Logic is still gaining streaming and radio with this song, which is a great thing. Post Malone's debut shoved it down a spot is all. But I anticipate and hope for a rebound next week.

5- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (-1) -- "Despacito" I am fine with not getting a rebound. The song lived a long life at the top and now it's time to go. I just wonder what the reputation of this song will end up being.

6- "Unforgettable" - French Montana featuring Swae Lee (+1) -- Oh hey. Another pleasant surprise. I was expecting this song to disappear from the top 10 after it started to fall, but now that's two straight weeks of gaining in the top 10. I'm cool with this.

7- "Believer" - Imagine Dragons (+2) -- You know, The Killers released their fifth studio album this past weekend and it's phenomenal. Give it a listen! I really wish they could actually chart a song somewhere on the charts. If Imagine Dragons can send bland, boring rock songs, then awesome rock songs with depth and meaning to them should be able to at least chart, right? But probably not. So I talk about it here because I'm really done with Imagine Dragons right now.

8- "Rake it Up" - Yo Gotti featuring Nicki Minaj (+8) -- I'm not shocked to see this back. I'm also not very happy and I really hope it loses traction again and goes away ASAP.

9- "Attention" - Charlie Puth (-1) -- We FINALLY got rid of Shawn Mendes this week! Now we just need the radio to give way on Charlie Puth so we can get rid of him, too.

10- "Feel it Still" - Portugal. The Man (+4) -- HOLY COW!!!!!! This hitting the top 10 almost makes me forgive the fact that half of this top 10 is complete garbage and call this the best top 10 of the year. But I'll come back down to Earth and say this top 10 for the most part still sucks. But I'm so happy to see this here and I really hope this continues to gain traction and rises even higher. It's about dang time we get some real quality music in the top 10 that will actually stay around for longer than a week. There is some justice in the world of music.

Rising on the Hot 100:

23- "What Lovers Do" - Maroon 5 featuring SZA (+6) -- I'm bracing myself for my weekly complaint as to why the heck the radio fell in love with another bland Maroon 5 song. I just hope that this makes like "Cold" and freezes over so that it will disappear. But I feel it's catchy enough for people to somehow give it a pass, which makes me angry. Why can't we just give up on Maroon 5?

30- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (+10) -- NO!!! I was really enjoying the fact that this song had a hard time gaining traction, but seeing it have a good jump two weeks in a row really has me scared. No more Imagine Dragons, please? Let's toss them to the wayside and forget they existed.

37- "Say You Won't Let Go" - James Arthur (+6) -- James Arthur wishes he would've made the top 10. And I wouldn't have minded it. Seeing him get a slight rebound actually reminds me that this song existed and is fairly enjoyable. But I haven't missed it.

44- "When it Rains it Pours" - Luke Combs (+5) -- Why is this the country song gaining the most traction this week?

46- "Crew" - GoldLink featuring Brent Faiyz & Shy Glizzy (+5) -- I totally forgot this song existed. I gave it a C- in my little Excel chart back in July. That must mean that I wasn't too impressed, but didn't hate life while listening to it. But I honestly can't remember what it sounds like and I don't care enough to go give it another listen. If it continues to gain traction, maybe I'll give it another listen to refresh my memory. But not this week.

47- "Heartache on the Dance Floor" - Jon Pardi (+5) -- No love for country this week as Luke Combs and Jon Pardi are the only two songs to gain significant rises. Shame. There's actually some good country songs around, but of course country radio chooses to accept the bad ones.

61- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (+10) -- Halsey is bad at love and also bad at disappearing from the charts. I can't panic yet because this hasn't yet broke top 50 and her previous singles didn't do incredibly well. But I still hope this loses traction soon.

71- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (+10) -- Why in the name of everything good and right did this song INCREASE this week? I was hoping it would be a one and done on the charts given how untalented this thug is even when compared to the other untalented thugs that do so well. Let's not make Lil Pump a thing because that means other people are going to want to start collaborating with him because that's what they do when rappers gain traction. And that would be awful.

79- "Pill and Automobiles" - Chris Brown featuring Yo Gotti, A Boogie wit da Hoodie & Kodak Black (+19) -- At least it makes sense why this song gained traction this week. It actually has real rappers. And that's the nicest thing I'll ever say about these four, so if you're a fan of either one, then take notes. But don't get too excited because this is still an awful song that doesn't deserve to be rising. It's just not as bad as the horrendous Lil Pump song ahead of it.

New Arrivals: 

2- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage -- Before I listened to this song, I turned out and jammed to Nickelback's "Rockstar" from 2005. Don't judge me. That's a fun, self-aware song where Nickelback makes fun of the life of rock stars. A life that Post Malone and 21 Savage will NEVER experience because they are NOT rock stars. So when they write a song called "rockstar" and sing about how they feel like rock stars, it is incredibly stupid. Because apparently the only requirement, according to Post Malone, to be a rock star is to sleep with women and do drugs. That's what this is. Then 21 Savage comes in and forgets that they are singing about rock stars and says that he feels like a pop star. Also wrong. The only positive thing that I can come up with is that I've heard much worse from these two, but that's not saying much.

66- "Too Much to Ask" - Niall Horan -- For better or for worse, Niall is the only former 1D member that is writing songs that actually sound like 1D songs. Zayn went completely crazy, Harry went 70's rock, Liam went desperate and Louis decided to write good music. Niall has decided to stick to the simple, hollow love songs that 1D was famous for. Except he doesn't have the vocals or talent to make me care. He has an album coming up here on October 20 and I have a feeling it's going to be the type of album that will put me to sleep, despite my Apple Music claiming it will only be 10 songs and 35 minutes long. "Too Much to Ask" is very similar to "This Town" and "Slow Hands." It's slow, simple and sounds like Niall himself recorded it while he was sleep deprived. He gives a very basic breakup ballad where he is sad about losing this girl and wants her back because he's not over her yet and hopes that she isn't over him, either. We've never heard that before, have we Niall? The song isn't offensive or horrible. It's just forgettable. Like most of 1D's stuff when they were together.

67- "Curve" - Gucci Mane featuring The Weeknd -- Word on the street is that Gucci is working on a collaboration with Jake Paul. Someone please just send the apocalypse already so we don't have to be subjected to that. In the meantime, we get subjected to this collaboration with The Weeknd, who once upon a time actually recorded an album that I enjoyed. Strange. That seems so long ago. Because every time The Weeknd is featured on a song I keep telling myself that maybe he'll at least be decent, but he's not. In this song, The Weeknd has two short bars that he repeats over and over with different words each time. And that's supposed to be music. I don't know how people are entertained by such boring, dull repetitions, especially when the lyrics are pure trash. Meanwhile, Gucci plays Migos for most of the song until he finally gives himself a verse towards the end where he gives his normal, disgusting Gucci stuff with lyrics I don't care to repeat. Can we please get rid of this guy?

85- "DNA" - BTS -- I was wondering if I was going to have to cover these guys this week. I saw their album was released and almost gave it a listen out of curiosity. But I decided to wait. BTS is the band that I refer to as the Korean One Direction and they have a HUGE online, social media presence. The Billboard's formula here in the U.S. only takes into account U.S. streaming numbers or else these guys would certainly be a lot bigger. I call them the Korean 1D because there's seven of them and they really only sing generic love songs that require only one singer, but the seven of them switch off taking the melody. Which is not the style of boy band I like. I prefer harmonization among the members with each member having a specific purpose in the band. That's not what I get here. Not only do I have a hard time telling the difference between them when they switch off, but I listen to this and feel like we could get rid of four or five members and BTS would still sound the exact same. The thing that sets them apart from 1D is that Koreans love their EDM. So BTS is really like a EDM Korean 1D, which makes it kinda fun to dance to, especially since I can't understand what they are saying. The English translation of this song on Genius assures me that the lyrics are essentially a pointless afterthought, anyways. So I'll take this. I don't expect it to stick around, though.

92- "Homemade Dynamite" - Lorde featuring Khalid, Post Malone & SZA -- It's always great to see Lorde on the charts, especially after "Green Light" and "Liability" both failed to gain any traction, which I'm still mad about. "Melodrama" is my favorite album of the year, one that I give a solid A grade to. "Homemade Dynamite" slides in right at track No. 3 and it's the song that I call the lesser of the songs on "Melodrama," but I still think it's a solid song and I'm happy to see it here. Even though I call it the lesser song, it still adds to the narrative of the emotions she is going through on the album. All of "Melodrama" is her first experience with adulthood, which comes with quite the crazy train ride, if you know what I mean. So there's a lot of ups and downs on the albums. When she hits the downs on the album, it's deep, depressing and emotional. When she hits the ups, it's fun and upbeat. This song is one of those ups. And it's an early up before her life collapses. She's just out having fun with this guy and she is hoping that this relationship will go somewhere.

That's the original, anyways. This remix is the same tone, but it adds a whole lot of voices. I suppose that's what we get when the first two songs fail as singles. Lorde goes into the wood works and re-records a song with some of the bigger names in music at the moment in hopes that she will gain relevance. It's unfortunate that she had to do that, but I blame America for rejecting her and forcing her hand. So how does this turn out? Well, not bad actually. Each singer gets a verse, adding their experience to this crazy, wild night, and they come together on the choruses. And surprisingly, all singers do well with their verse. Even Post Malone. My problem is that the original narrative speaks specifically of two individuals hoping to spark a relationship. If it were just Lorde and Khalid, I would have zero problem with this. But SZA and Post Malone's parts don't make any sense to the overall story of the song. It's like Lorde and Khalid transformed into SZA and Post Malone. I don't really like that. It's confusing and unnecessary and only done for Lorde to gain relevance. I still hope this succeeds, but this remix takes things down a notch in terms of quality with too many voices.

DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - September 30, 2017

The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to switch things up in the future, but for now this is what I'm sticking with. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:

1- "Look What You Made Me Do" - Taylor Swift (=) -- A third week for Taylor at the top, but her sales and streaming continue to tank. She has 69,000 sales, down 39 percent and 39.9 million U.S. streams, down 35 percent. Radio rises to an audience of 75 million, which is up 11 percent and is probably going to be the metric that keeps her around. But I'm suddenly starting to doubt if this is a song that's going to stick around for as long as I thought it would, given what decently average songs like "Despacito" and "Shape of You" accomplished. In fact, Taylor doesn't lead in any of the three aforementioned categories, which sometimes happens when one song is balanced enough to get enough points while the other songs are super lopsided towards one specific category. With this week, Sam Smith got a buttload of first week sales, Cardi B ruled on streaming, while radio is madly in love with Charlie Puth for some annoying reason. But none of those songs are doing well at all in the other categories, so Taylor gets a third week at No. 1. But I wonder how long it's going to last.

2- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)" - Cardi B (=) -- One would think that Cardi B would be in line to jump to the top if Taylor continues to tank. The problem is the song doesn't seem to want the crown. It also tanked on sales and streaming, albeit slightly less than Taylor in the latter category, thus gaining the top spot on streaming. And radio has never really done anything for the song. Rightfully so. No one needs to hear this poisonous monstrosity in their ears. I still don't know why it's here or why it ever got this high in the first place. I'm just waiting for it to collapse and die.

3- "1-800-273-8255" - Logic featuring Alessia Cara & Khalid (+2) -- Meanwhile, continuing to be an extremely pleasant surprise, Logic takes his suicide prevention song up even further on the charts to No. 3 thanks to continued solid gains in streaming and radio, even if sales are going the wrong direction. Wouldn't it be so awesome if this wound up being our No. 1 song? I would love that. As is, it's now the highest charting song for all three of these artists. Good for them!

4- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (-1) -- I don't know if I have that much more to say about "Despacito." It had it's time in the spotlight. A really long time in the spotlight. Now I'm just wondering if this is just going to be a weird fad that we experienced in 2017 or if this song will actually be remembered 10 years from now. Actual Latino countries might continue to remember the original version while here in America I think we'll quickly forget that this Bieber remix ever existed.

5- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (new) -- Man, I love this song. And I'm super happy it debuted in the top five. Well deserved for Sam Smith. Now it's going to experience a second week drop and disappear from the top 10, but I really hope that it ends up gaining traction and becomes the fall hit. More on this song down below in the new arrivals section. But if you're curious, the song arrives with 90,000 first week sales with streaming and radio numbers that I really hope catches up.

6- "Wild Thoughts" - DJ Khaled featuring Rihanna & Bryson Tiller (=) -- DJ Khaled and is gang stay at No. 6 this week. Shame. It deserves to fall faster. Make it happen America!

7- "Unforgettable" - French Montana featuring Swae Lee (+2) -- Oh hey! Here's a pleasant surprise! I was hoping that "Unforgettable" would hang on a bit longer and rise above the other songs that are falling out of the top 10. And it actually happened. America is finally starting to reject Charlie Puth and Imagine, who never belonged in the top 10 with their current songs.

8- "Attention" - Charlie Puth (-1) -- But for some reason, as I previously mentioned, Charlie Puth is king of radio right now. Radio stations need to give up their love affair with Charlie Puth and start playing songs that actually deserve to be played on the radio. It's one of those times where I'm glad the speakers on my car don't  work.

9- "Believer" - Imagine Dragons (-1) -- That's right. Get the fetch out of here Dan Reynolds. And take your boring rock song and bland rock band with you. Go back to the drawing board and come up with something good. Because none of this nonsense you've brought us with your third album is deserving of this amount of praise. And it pains me to say that because I was once a huge fan.

10- "There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back" - Shawn Mendes (=) -- Why? I thought we were done with Shawn Mendes last week. I'm angry that he's hung in for one more week. Heck, I was angry that he showed up in the top 10 in the first place, but I'm really angry that he hasn't yet left.

Rising on the Hot 100:

11- "Slow Hands" - Niall Horan (+4) -- I don't really find this song that entertaining. It's kind of a boring song that you would expect from one of the lesser 1D members who has been left all alone. But man, if it means kicking out Charlie Puth, Imagine Dragons and/or Shawn Mendes, I will accept this with open arms. For a few weeks. Then it needs to go because it mainly puts me to sleep and makes me upset that the talented 1D members aren't finding success.

12- "Strip that Down" - Liam Payne featuring Quavo (+2) -- But hey, at least this song left the top 10. I can only hope that it stays out, because we don't need to encourage Liam to write songs like this. And we certainly don't need anymore Quavo in our lives.

14- "Feel it Still" - Portugal. The Man (+4) -- This, on the other hand, gets me super excited and giddy. In a year that's been mostly boring and dull in the top 10, wouldn't it be absolutely fantastic if we actually got a super good song that's much different from our usual affair to cross over into the top 10? I'm pulling for this! And I beg of you to buy it and/or stream it so that it can make the cut!

19- "Mi Gente" - J Balvin & Willy William (+3) -- J Balvin has finally cracked the top 20 with "Mi Gente" after being stuck in the 20's for several weeks. I'm honestly curious if this is heading to replace "Despacito" in the top 10 because it's slowly rising while "Despacito" slowly falls. If "Mi Gente" does crack top 10, I will be super impressed because that will mean it's a Latino song that managed to crack the top 10 WITHOUT an English remix. If it doesn't crack the top 10 and simply peaks here in the teens, well, I won't be super upset. It's had a good run that I'm satisfied with.

24- "I Get the Bag" - Gucci Mane featuring Migos (+7) -- NO! So much no!! Get these thugs out of here and send their awful song with them. Please don't let this be our next rap entry into the top 10.

26- "Young Dumb & Broke" - Khalid (+7) -- Khalid now has a top three hit thanks to Logic. Now can he get another entry into the top 10 completely on his own? I wouldn't be surprised. This seems like the song that the radio would fall in love with. And I won't be upset if it does. This kid certainly has a lot more talent and song writing abilities than that of Charlie Puth and Shawn Mendes. Combined. But I also won't be upset if this gets stuck around this region. It's alright and inoffensive, but not the best.

32- "What Ifs" - Kane Brown featuring Lauren Alaina (+8) -- We've almost arrived to the point in our lives where "Body Like a Back Road" is no longer the top country song. "What Ifs" is SO close to finally dethroning it. This isn't necessarily the country song that I would pick to take the title, but there could also be a whole lot worse.

40- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (+5) -- I keep expecting "Thunder" to start rising on the charts while crossing my fingers that it continues to stall out. It's suffered from a lot of indecisiveness. As if people can't decide if they want to accept it because of its awesome beat or reject it due to its completely lifeless and empty lyrics. I'm kinda hoping for the latter. Especially since I'm currently hoping all of Imagine Dragons' music just burns and dies. "Night Visions" just seems like such a long time ago.

47- "Unforgettable" - Thomas Rhett (+16) -- I still start singing French Montana's version of this song when I see this rising. Thomas Rhett has never been able to connect this song to my mind. This song being so forgettable is pretty bad.

71- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (+10) -- No time to panic yet. Halsey's new song hasn't broke top 70. But if this continues to rise, I will start complaining. Yes, I want more female representation. But I'd rather have GOOD female representation, not whatever this is.

New Arrivals:

5- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith -- I don't want to get too personal with this song, because I'm not intending on getting sympathy from readers and friends after they read this, but if you want to know how I'm feeling right now when it comes to my love life and relationships, this is the song to listen to. I was intrigued when I saw Sam Smith releasing a new song because the man genuinely has an excellent voice and fantastic writing abilities, but I kid you not, the second I started playing this, especially after knowing what the title was, it instantaneously connected with me. And the more I've listened to it, the more I've found that it connects with me on every level. Because it's my story about how I feel. About this song, Sam Smith said that he wanted to update everyone on his love life, which he admits still sucks and that sadly states that he is very single. At least when he wrote the song. Which, yeah, guess what? Same here.

Check out these lyrics, "I'm never going to let you close to me, even though you mean the most to me, 'cause every time I open up, it hurts. So I'm never going to get too close to you, even when I mean the most to you, in case you go and leave me in the dirt."

Or how about this, "I know you think I'm heartless. I know you think I'm cold. I'm just protectin' my innocence. I'm just protecting my soul."

Yep. I can just leave it at that. Not to mention the man's voice in the song is beyond beautiful and the music behind this sad love ballad is perfect. And I certainly have to give kudos to Sam Smith for being openly gay, yet perfect at writing love songs that connect with people regardless of their sexual orientation. Not that I would be upset at a love song specifically for people who are homosexual. Halsey did it with "Strangers" and I had zero problem with that aspect of the song. I just find it impressive that Sam can write a song that connects with all people. And do you know what Sam, for the sake of me and you both, I hope we each find the lover that we are looking for. Because, yeah, dating sucks. But it'll get better. Hopefully. In the meantime, using music to express what's honestly on your mind is something that I have a lot of respect for.

44- "Dusk Till Dawn" - Zayn featuring Sia -- Horse manure with a side of ice cream served for dinner? The idea of this song is so strange. We combine the efforts of the least talented member of 1D with perhaps my favorite female vocalist. It just doesn't seem right. Like me trying to country dance. But what would win out when I played the actual song? Zayn or Sia? Well, neither. Which makes me more conflicted. This isn't just Sia thrown in as an after thought with a third verse feature or something. For much of the song they are singing together. And Zayn sounds so lazy and bored while Sia sounds like she's doing her best to make the most out of these Zayn-y lyrics. Think of any song Zayn has ever written while off on his own and this is no better. He just wants to get together with this girl, not for the sake of love and relationships, but for her body and for the opportunity to sleep with her. But Sia puts a lot of emotion into anyways and almost sells it, but is held back by Zayn just trudging along with her, singing the song as lazily as he wrote it. Everyone once in a while he breaks out and channels his inner Sia, showing the world that he actually has a good voice. But then he goes back to his normal lazy self. So yeah, I don't know what to do with this.

62- "Love So Soft" - Kelly Clarkson -- Speaking of being conflicted, this new song from Kelly also sends me in so many different directions. Except this time around, it's just Kelly as opposed to Zayn and Sia combining to stretch me in different directions. Simply put, Kelly has a lot of fire and soul that she puts into the verses of this song that I really love. Then we slam on the brakes during the chorus, giving me whiplash as I'm suddenly subjected to a chorus that is perhaps the most boring and lazy chorus that Kelly has ever written, both in terms of the boring lyrics and the one-note music, which she ends with an annoying squeak. If the whole song were like the verses, then I think I would love this. But it's not. So I don't. I'm still intrigued by her upcoming album, though. The song "Move You," the other song she's released, is genuinely good. And if she's going soul, I hold out hope there are some good soul songs hidden in there. But it's a swing and a miss for me on the lead-off single. And you shouldn't be too shocked. Outside "Never Again" and "Catching My Breath," I haven't been impressed with a Kelly song since she released her album "Breakaway."

73- "I'll Name the Dogs" - Blake Shelton -- So Sam Smith is opening up to us that his love life sucks. Zayn, Sia and Kelly are doing... something. And Blake Shelton is busy naming dogs. OK, whatever Blake. I just hoped he was being literal with this and not referring to something else. Which thankfully he is being literal. He's saying that he's ready to marry this girl and he says that she can name the babies and he'll name the dogs. This after he lists off a whole bunch of stereotypical man/woman roles that they can do. I don't want to say this is being misogynistic or sexist, because it's not. But stereotypical is a good word. He can go do all his stereotypical guy things and she can do all the stereotypical girl things and they can live happily ever after in their boring, cliche country life. I will give Blake some credit for having more of a groove than he usually does, but I just had my eyebrow cocked the whole time while listening in a state of bored confusion. I don't connect with this at all and I don't know how people can. But whatever.

80- "Found You" - Kane Brown -- While Kane is currently shooting up the charts with "What Ifs," which is poised to take the top spot on the country charts, he also sneaks in this. I will say that this is less baffling and weird than Blake's song, we have our typical, guy meets girl country song from Kane. This time guy is in a bar, missing his girl, when guy's friend drags him out to a party guy doesn't want to go to where guy meets girl and is now happy. And I'm sure if we told the next part of this story it would be a lather, rinse, repeat sort of situation. Kudos for being original, Kane. NOT. Throw in your typical non-country country rock stuff and we got ourselves a 2017 country song.

81- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump -- Lil Pump? Are we for real? Lil Wayne made sense as a rapper name. Lil Uzi Vert didn't and neither did Lil Yachty. Now we have another Lil joining the group with the dumbest name of them all. Lil Pump. Like seriously, who comes up with these? And why? It just sounds like a rapper name that a 12-year-old punk kid would give himself when he's trying to be cool... shortly after learning that he can swear. Oh, you want me to talk about this song? OK. It sucks. This whatever the heck he is does everything I hate about modern club rappers. Trying to feed off Migos while repeating his horrible title over and over in between talking about sleeping with women, including his teacher, while doing drugs, selling drugs, not caring about relationships. Just fame, fortune, drugs and sex. And we're encouraging this punk to keep going. Ouch. I hate 2017 sometimes. I hope this dies.

85- "No Limit" - G-Eazy featuring A$AP Rocky & Cardi B -- Who gave these three permission to get together and write a song? Granted, I'll take this over whatever that Lil Pump song was, but that's not saying too much. Also, to be fair to G-Eazy, I haven't hated the stuff that he's done. He just kinda bores me. When he teams up with someone talented, it's tolerable. But when he teams up like this, it's not. I don't like anyone who puts a dollar sign in their name these days and I hate how we have two Nicki Minajes corrupting the music industry. Again, slight credit goes to this song having more of a flow and bounce than some rap songs. But the content is the same boring, awful rap stuff. Listening to these words doesn't please my ears.

98- "Pills and Automobiles" - Chris Brown featuring Yo Gotti, A Boogie wit da Hoodie & Kodak Black -- Speaking of people that shouldn't get together, what in the heck is happening here? An awful rapper combined with a boring rapper combined with the rapper that has the world's worst name combined with another awful rapper. No way this works out. Haven't we all learned by now that Chris Brown can't rap and can't write good songs? And auto-tuning his voice while bringing in all his friends isn't going to help anything. He starts this song by repeating the word wet 14 times. And that sets the tone for the rest of the song because you know exactly what's going to happen.

99- "Let Me Go" - Hailee Steinfeld & Alesso featuring Florida Georgia Line & watt -- Well that's a mouthful to type up and try to digest. Hailee the pop singer, Alesso the EDM artist, Florida Georgia Line the country duo and watt the guitarist. So let me break this down for you. This is Hailee being desperate. Because that's what she's turned into in regards to her music career. A desperate pop singer. In this song, she's singing a boring breakup song that we've heard a thousand times, but somehow she convinced Florida Georgia Line to come in a do a quick verse while letting Alesso and watt take care of all the music and instrumentation behind her. Hailee isn't bad in this. Her voice is good. But she has so much potential that I feel she is just wasting right now. And if you're going to bring in a country duo, then commit to it. They're barely in the song. Their only purpose is to add a name to the song to get sales because they certainly add nothing to the song. Alesso and watt do fine with the production, but Alesso being one of my favorite EDM artists has done much better. If this was a head-banging Alesso song that uses Hailee's voice, then I'd be totally down with this. But that's not what it is. This is boring and desperate where no one involved seemed like they really cared.

DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - September 23, 2017

The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to switch things up in the future, but for now this is what I'm sticking with. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:

1- "Look What You Made Me Do" - Taylor Swift (=) -- In Taylor's second week at the top of the charts, she nosedives pretty sharply in both streaming and sales, but that's to be expected after a huge debut. But despite the expected second full week dip, she still collected 114,000 sales and 61.2 million streams. And radio, which is always the metric slowest to catch up, jumped from 64 million in audience last week to 72 million this week. The big question will be where does the song go from here? Is it going to keep falling and fade away or will it recapture some traction and stay in this spot for 10+ weeks? Personally I don't mind if either happened. I like the song and am fine with it being here, but I won't be offended if we did more sharing with this spot.

2- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)" - Cardi B (+1) -- Don't be deceived with this song rising to the No. 2 spot. There's not a competition between Cardi B and Taylor for the top spot. Not yet, anyways. Cardi B is getting a whole ton of streaming with this song, but radio and sales are pretty much dead. I'm guessing this stays at No. 2 and never gets to No. 1. Or maybe that's what I'm hoping will happen.

3- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (-1) -- If Taylor never swept in, "Despacito" would've ended its reign at the top with a record-breaking 17 weeks and given way to Cardi B. I'm certainly grateful that the latter didn't happen and I'm totally fine with Mariah and Boyz II Men only having to share their crown as opposed to giving it up completely.

4- "...Ready for It?" - Taylor Swift (new) -- This I didn't actually expect to hit top five. But what it says is that when the album is released, you'll definitely know my opinion on this blog because I imagine every song will make an appearance. As is the norm for Taylor, actually. Hence is why I think she has the record for most Hot 100 entries for a female. Also, with Taylor having two concurrent top five hits, she is the first artist to do it since... herself back in February 2015 with "Blank Space" and "Shake it Off." With Taylor's two songs and Cardi B's song, this is also the first time since December 2014 that we've had three solo women as lead artists in the top five. With Taylor and Cardi at the top two spots, its the first time solo women have occupied the top two spots concurrently since that same December 2014 weekend. This needs to happen more often. I don't know why we don't accept female singers today as much as we do male singers, but we need to. And I'm not trying to be politically correct here. I just like female singers and I want them to get more hits. Finally, my opinion on this song will be below.

5- "1-800-273-8255" - Logic featuring Alessia Cara & Khalid (+4) -- I was under the impression last week that this would be a one week appearance in the top 10 following the VMA performance of the song. But man, I am so happy to see this song rising up to the top five. It's slipping on sales, so I don't know how long it will be here, but I hope that streaming and radio can keep this alive because a song that helps people with suicidal thoughts get help definitely deserves praise.

6- "Wild Thoughts" - DJ Khaled featuring Rihanna & Bryson Tiller (-2) -- The rest of these songs all seem to be on their way out. They all are losing momentum and they all dropped two spots. Now we're just waiting for new songs to replace them. Quite frankly I'm glad that this one never hit No. 1. And I hope it fizzles out and dies as fast as DJ Khaled's other song, "I'm the One," once that song FINALLY dropped out of the top five.

7- "Attention" - Charlie Puth (-2) -- I've never been a fan of this song. Boring pop song from a boring white guy writing generic lyrics. I'm glad that it's heading out.

8- "Believer" - Imagine Dragons (-2) -- I'm also glad that Imagine Dragons is heading out. They're a lot of good rock songs around. Let's bring a good one into the top 10 and not another bland one like this. And for the love of all things good, let's keep "Thunder" FAR AWAY from the top 10.

9- "Unforgettable" - French Montana featuring Swae Lee (-2) -- This is the song that I'd actually like to recover and get ahead of all these songs. I wanted it to last longer. Oh well. Life goes on.

10- "There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back" - Shawn Mendes (-2) -- Can we please get rid of Shawn Mendes next week? That would make me so happy!!

Rising on the Hot 100:

11- "Rake it Up" - Yo Gotti featuring Nicki Minaj (+2) -- We have a decent slate of rising songs due to all of the atrocious XXXTENTACION and Lil Uzi Vert songs tanking or dropping out as the Hot 100 resets itself back to normal. This is not a song effected by that as the highest as the highest debut from those two thugs was No. 31. But I say that just so you know why some of the other songs jumped so high. "Rake it Up" jumped into the top 10 a few weeks ago after the music video, then it thankfully dropped out. And now it looks like its slowly back on its way in. I just hope it sputters out here at No. 11 or doesn't stay very long because no one on earth needs this atrocity.

13- "Sorry Not Sorry" - Demi Lovato (+5) -- Speaking of female singers, let's get Demi into the top 10! I would've preferred it if it were "Tell Me You Love Me" soaring up, but I'll take this. It might be an average Demi song, but it's worthy of replacing one of our dumb songs that are falling out.

18- "Feel it Still" - Portugal. The Man (+2) -- I am so addicted to this song. Happy to see it slowly rising. I would love it if the top 10 were its final destination, but I fear it might get stuck here in the teens. But even so, I'm happy that it got this high.

27- "What Lovers Do" - Maroon 5 featuring SZA (+46) -- This was expected. First full week of sales cause a major boost. I'm not offended by this song. If you missed my thoughts on it last week in the midst of all the crap from the aforementioned thugs, this is catchy and groovy enough for me to say whatever and not be brokenhearted, but its still a bland, boring Maroon 5 song. I wish Adam Levine would reach back into the past and learn from his older self how to write good music.

31- "I Get the Bag" - Gucci Mane featuring Migos (+11) -- Dog crap with a side of horse manure. We did we let this song get all the way up to No. 31?

44- "The Race" - Tay-K (+20) -- And who in the living fetch is streaming and selling this atrocity? If you are one of them, cancel your subscription to whatever streaming service you listen to, delete all of your music and never listen to a song again. You have lost all your rights and privileges to music.

46- "Transportin'" - Kodak Black (+11) -- You know, I really wish all of these XXX and Lil Uzi songs were replaced by actual good music, not any of this trash.

48- "When it Rains it Pours" - Luke Combs (+8) -- Hey, it's not an awful rap song rising! It's a boring country song instead. Joy...

69- "B.E.D." - Jacquees (+17) -- I spoke too soon. It's time to start panicking here because this seems like it's going top 50 and I have no idea why.

73- "Havana" - Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug (+10) -- Heck, I'll take this one over those others. Even if we do have Young Thug. Practically a masterpiece compared to our previous five songs.

76- "They Don't Know" - Jason Aldean (+13) -- More bland country music getting popular.

78- "Every Little Thing" - Carly Pearce (+15) -- FINALLY!!!!! Did I have to wait all the way until No. 78 to get a song rising that's worthy of rising?

82- "More Girls Like You" - Kip Moore (+16) -- TWO IN A ROW!!!!

83- "It Ain't My Fault" - Brothers Osborne (+17) -- THREE IN A ROW!!!!!!

84- "Wish I Knew" - The Revivalists (+12) -- FOUR IN A ROW!!!!! Now can we please replace these previous songs with the other duds that are rising instead? Why can't we accept good music in this country?

New Arrivals:

4- "...Ready for It?" - Taylor Swift -- Now this is more like the Taylor we're all used to. I would contend this is a lot closer to the stuff from "Red" and "1989" than it is to "Look What You Made Me Do." Taylor doing her typical romance songs instead of a bitter diss track. Makes me think that "Look What You Made Me Done" was released first to get people's attention while the whole album won't quite be like that. But we'll see on November 10. This certainly has me intrigued because, while the lyrics are more simple and generic about her essentially crushing after a guy, the thing that makes it most unique is that there is a strong electronic vibe to it. This is practically a straight up EDM song from Taylor. The type of thing that I was hoping would be released when her and Calvin Harris were a thing. Perhaps I'm biased because I love EDM, but I think this is a sound that works for Taylor. I really wanted that Calvin Harris/Taylor Swift collaboration because I envisioned what Taylor's voice would sound like with that EDM backdrop and I liked what I envisioned. Now I feel like I got it with this song. This even has a pretty good drop that should get people excited at parties. In fact, if you take the "Let the games begin" segment of the pre-chorus out of context, this would also make a great stadium song. So yeah, I really enjoy this, even though the lyrics don't jump out at me.

77- "These Heaux" - Bhad Bhabie -- Remember that one girl from the viral Dr. Phil video who said the phrase "Cash me ousside how bow dah" and how some insane person remixed it into a song that ACTUALLY debuted on the Billboard charts? Well, she's back. And this time with an actual song and not a remix of a song from something that she said. Her name is Danielle Bregoli. But she's calling herself Bhad Bhabie. A wretchedly awful name from a punk 14-year-old girl that no one should be paying any attention to. If you watched the actual video clip that got turned into a remixed viral hit, then you'll know how annoying this girl is and you'll know how awful it would be if she released a song. And yeah, it's as bad as you would think. From the moment you see the word "heaux" and realize it's just a purposely misspelled version of "hoes," you know you're in for a doozy. She doesn't want to be compared to "these hoes" who do some awful stuff. This girl has no ounce of talent in her and is nothing but controversy. Can we please not give her a stage like this? I hope this is gone next week and that nothing else from her ever debuts on the charts again.

81- "Bad at Love" - Halsey -- Despite me not being madly in love with Halsey's "Now or Never," I actually listened to her whole album when it came out because the girl has potential and I was wanting to see if I could salvage anything from the album. And I could. There were some decent songs on there like "Eyes Closed," "Sorry," "Good Morning" and "Devil in Me." But "Bad at Love" wasn't one of them. Granted, it's not an awful song. And I do appreciate the self-awareness with Halsey claiming she's bad at love and the problems with her relationship are probably her fault. Not enough of that going around. But the song as a whole is just lackluster and uninteresting. Halsey doesn't display any vocal talent. There's no strong melody that sticks in your head. To me it just seemed like a song Halsey quickly threw together to fill space on the album and now for some reason has decided to release as a single.

86- "Greatest Love Story" - LANco -- The greatest love story? Well that's a lofty title to live up to. But I suppose when you're talking to the girl you want to marry, it's right to think that the two of you are going to be the greatest love story the world has ever seen. This here is a simple, acoustic love ballad from a country band that I've never heard of where our lead singer tells a detailed story of him and his high school sweetheart. They were perfect for each other, but then she went off to college and their lives went in different directions. After the first two verses, the chorus is in past tense as he's singing that "we were going to be the greatest love story." But TWIST. She comes back after four years and the final chorus is in present tense. They go on a date again. They find there are mutual feelings still. So he buys a ring and proposes to her and she says... well, we'll never know. The song leaves us on a cliffhanger. Overall not a country song that I'll play for my friends when I brag about the good country songs I found hidden on the Billboard charts this year, but it's not bad.

97- "Sky Walker" - Miguel featuring Travis Scott -- Yes. Miguel is rapping about Star Wars. Kinda. I think he's trying to be clever here by using the play on Star Wars by calling his song "Sky Walker" instead of "Skywalker." And since he's a big Star Wars fan, he has decided to throw in a line saying that's he's just having fun and "Luke Skywalkin' on his haters." So he's turned Luke into a verb. And I'm not really sure how this metaphor fits into his song and I don't know exactly what he's meaning. We've also got some "Top Gun" in there with Tom Cruise, so he's being super clever with his movie references used as boring rap metaphors in his boring rap song filled with plenty of Migos sound effects that had me annoyed and a useless feature from Travis Scott, who doesn't sound too different from Miguel. If you're not paying attention, you might miss him. The song is also too long (4:20) for how little content there is. Maybe he should've used some actual creativity and shaved a whole minute off the song. It could've been fine. Miguel is better than XXX and Lil Uzi and certainly better than that Danielle girl. But I'm not giving this a pass.

100- "No Fear" - DeJ Loaf -- For some reason I see the name DeJ Loaf and I feel I should be more familiar with this girl. But I'm not. My first thought was intrigue that we're getting a female rapper not named Cardi B or Nicki Minaj who actually sounded like she hand talent. At least the internet listed her as a rapper. I don't know what her previous material is like and I don't really care to know, but this isn't rap. I suppose you could call it R&B if you wanted, but this is more like a simple pop song. In fact, this reminds me of a young, toned-down Rihanna. It's a love song kinda similar to LANco's "Greatest Love Song" that I just covered. But it's simpler than that, yet seems to have a lot more sincerity to it. DeJ Loaf is singing from the heart that she really cares for her lover and she wants them to be together, despite the tough challenges that life is throwing their way. But if they do their best to ignore all of the stuff happening around them, she knows they can make. It's simple, yet sincere and I really enjoy it. I didn't know what to expect from this, but I was pleasantly surprised.

DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - September 16, 2017

The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to switch things up in the future, but for now this is what I'm sticking with. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:

1- "Look What You Made Me Do" - Taylor Swift (+76) -- Taylor fails to debut at No. 1 because three days of radio play alone got the song to debut at No. 77 last week, but I'm sure she won't lose too much sleep over that. After its first full week, Taylor got 350,000 sales, 80 million streams and 64 million in radio audience. That sales mark is the highest this year. The streaming is the most ever for a female artist. And that much radio in one week is pretty great, although I don't think that sets any records. If you were hoping this song was going to go away because you're one who hates, your remaining 2017 is gonna be miserable because this isn't going anywhere. Taylor also becomes the first female to hit No. 1 without a male since Adele's "Hello." The only other female to be No. 1 in any capacity this year is Halsey as featured on The Chainsmokers' "Closer." Personally I'm glad to get some more female representation.

2- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber  (-1) -- After 16 weeks at No. 1, "Despacito" falls to No. 2, thus failing to break the record. And it's confirmed. Had Taylor not swung in, "Despacito" would be king. Not that that means anything. Now the question is how long can this song stay in the top 10? Radio and sales are slipping, but streaming is still really good, so I imagine this will hang around.

3- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves) - Cardi B (=) -- Our Nicki Minaj wannabe passes Rihanna, but gets passed by Taylor, so she stays at No. 3. I'm not complaining. But hey, three females in the top five. That's a good thing.

4- "Wild Thoughts" - DJ Khaled featuring Rihanna & Bryson Tiller (-2) -- Let the fall begin! I'm so glad Rihanna failed to get another No. 1. She didn't deserve it. Now lets hope this song tumbles and dies. But sadly that radio will probably keep it around.

5- "Attention" - Charlie Puth (=) -- Charlie flips with Imagine Dragons to stay put in the top five. Not sure how I feel about that. I don't want either song in the top five, so I suppose I'm happy one of them is gone.

6- "Believer" - Imagine Dragons (-2) -- Imagine Dragons tumbled two spots this week. That's good! Now let's get this out!

7- "Unforgettable" - French Montana featuring Swae Lee (-1) -- I'd actually be happy if this jumped ahead of Charlie and Imagine Dragons. But that probably won't happen.

8- "There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back" - Shawn Mendes (-1) -- Ed Sheeran and Bruno Mars BOTH left the top 10 this week. That makes me happy. Now can this song be next?

9- "1-800-273-8255" - Logic featuring Alessia Cara & Khalid (+20) -- Well here's a pleasant surprise. I knew this song was jumping up because of the VMA's, but I didn't expect a top 10 entry. I couldn't be happier, though. As I say each week with this song, say want you want about the musicality of the song, the purpose here was to get people to call the suicide hotline and it's worked. That's worthy of praise.

10- "Strip that Down" - Liam Payne featuring Quavo (+1) -- I mean, I'm glad Ed and Bruno are gone. But did we have to replace it with this? Liam is very much the lesser of the former 1Ders. Why does he have to be the one gaining traction on the charts?

Rising on the Hot 100:

14- "Humble." - Kendrick Lamar (+5) -- This gets a welcome boost due to Kendrick destroying it at the VMA's, which is the big story line this week. The VMA's.

16- "XO TOUR Llif3" - Lil Uzi Vert (+9) -- This isn't VMA's. This is because Lil Uzi Vert's new album impacted the charts this week. 10 new Uzi songs to cover. Yay...

20- "Feel it Still" - Portugal. The Man (+3) -- I'm so happy to see this break top 20! I really love this song and I'm glad a good song is finding mainstream success.

28- "What About Us" - P!nk  (+7) -- It would've been nice if this jumped into the top 10 as well. Word is P!nk gave one of the night's best performances at The VMA's. But hey, I'll take this rising in some form. Let's just get it going a bit faster please?

32- "Young Dumb & Broke" - Khalid (+9) -- Khalid won best new artist. I suppose I can get behind that. But he didn't perform this song, so this is just rising naturally.

45- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (+14) -- Can we please reject this before it gets too high? It's making me nervous that this won't go away. Imagine Dragons need to learn to write good music like they used to. Not this boring, bland new stuff.

55- "Transportin'" - Kodak Black (+27) -- Why?

83- "Havana" - Camila Cabello (+11) -- I suppose I'm not upset at this. No. 83 is not very high, anyways. I'm curious to see if Camilla can actually conjure up a genuine solo hit.

New Arrivals:

31- "Jocelyn Flores" - XXXTENTACION -- We've got seven songs from XXXTENTACION and 10 songs from Lil Uzi Vert this week. And I despise both of these rappers. So let's get these over with. If you're curious, there's three "real" songs hidden at No. 73, No. 76 and No. 97 if you're curious to check out those. We begin with XXXTENTACION, a thug from prison who has done nothing but cause controversy and misery since being released. Why are we making him a thing? And who is Jocelyn Flores? A girl that... oh. Committed suicide. Suddenly I have to change my mindset and be sensitive about this instead of hateful. XXX is rapping about a girl he knew who committed suicide and how much misery he's been in ever since. That's real and that I appreciate. There's actual emotion in this song. I was rather shocked. It's a short anthem from XXX, under two minutes, where XXX has one quick verse where he flies through his emotions and it's surround by a slow chorus about how much pain he's in. Now if only XXX would put this type of emotion into all his songs...

39- "The Way Life Goes" - Lil Uzi Vert -- My order with this list is that I listened to all of XXX's songs and then all of Lil Uzi's. You'll notice that XXX's album is more of a depressing suicide note disguised as an album. And all the songs are really short. Thus I switch to Lil Uzi and was impressed that he wrote a full-length song that was nearly four minutes long. But then I got bored because I was used to only having to spend two minutes with each song. We start our 10-song Uzi marathon with a boring song essentially about Uzi sleeping with a girl, being upset that she left with him, but then deciding that the new girl he's now going to sleep with is better, while still being bitter about the old girl leaving him. But the new girl is going to appreciate his fame and riches more. Yawn. Give me something worth something that hasn't been done a thousand times before.

41- "F--- Love" - XXXTENTACION featuring Trippie Redd -- Can XXX impress me again after surprising me with "Jocelyn Flores"? Well, no. But this song isn't awful. It's just a really slow rap song that's barely rap. It's barely over two minutes and most of it is Trippie Redd begging the girl to switch sides. In the middle of that begging, XXX throws in a quick verse about how he's feeling nauseous and awful without her. That's all. Simple, short kinda rap song with not much to it. So let's go onto the next one.

49- "Sauce it Up" - Lil Uzi Vert -- No, we're not going to get anything better from Lil Uzi, are we? Instead we are just going to "sauce it up." And yes, it means exactly what you think it means. 20 seconds in, Lil Uzi says that "I'm one of the greatest to ever do it." What a horrible, cocky punk. I hate attitudes like that. So I quit the song. And read the rest of the lyrics. It wasn't getting any better. How can anyone like this type of snobbish, awful rap music. I don't understand.

54- "Everybody Dies in Their Nightmares" - XXXTENTACION -- Another song from XXX that's super short? This one barely cracks 90 seconds. How long is this album? *goes and looks* 11 songs. 21 minutes. Wow. Did XXX write this whole album in one day? I mean, I often joke around about rappers not putting much time into an album. But this time I actually think it might be true. Oh well. Makes my life easy. XXX here spends 95 seconds repeating over and over how he wants to die in his dreams because he can't handle the pain. He does get a lot of words out in those 95 seconds, but most of it is the same three lines repeated over and over. Maybe it's just me, but I prefer actual songs and not small snippets of someone venting. But apparently my definition of music and the rest of America's is different because this is what charted this week.

60- "444+222" - Lil Uzi Vert -- This Lil Uzi song just had me confused. What does 444+222 mean? I listened to the song, read the lyrics, read the potential meanings and I still don't know. That total equals 666, the sign of the beast. He also references JAY Z in the song right after repeating eight straight 4's. JAY Z's album was "4:44." What's going on there? I don't know. I don't care. And the lyrics make no sense. Although there's a decent flow in some of the verses. That's the best I can say about this one. He doesn't even say the number two at all, despite it being in his title. Whatever, Uzi.

73- "What Lovers Do" - Maroon 5 featuring SZA -- There was a time in life where I actually enjoyed Maroon 5. But that time seems so long ago. And I don't actively hate the band, if you can even call them a band at this point, but I just get so bored with their music. Adam Levine just seems so desperate to get hits that he'll follow whatever the current trend is while being so lazy and shallow with his lyrics. I think he even knows that his songs will all be long forgotten in 10 years from now. People will still remember songs like "She Will Be Loved" or "Harder to Breathe," but none of this current garbage. Now in fairness, "What Lovers Do" actually has a decently catchy groove to it and I actually have a chance of remembering it tomorrow, something I literally couldn't do with "Cold." Like, no joke or exaggeration. I couldn't remember it the next day. I kept singing Bieber's "Cold Water" instead. The problem with "What Lovers Do" is the same problem with most of his recent music. It's empty. Meaningless. Practically lifeless. He just asks a girl if she loves him and he's willing to do what lovers do... whatever that is. Because he doesn't explain.

76- "Light it Up" - Luke Bryan -- Not to be confused with Major Lazer's "Light it Up" featuring Nyla. A really fun song, mind you. Go listen to it. I had to give it another listen before Luke Bryan brought his song with the same title to the charts. A song that's not really worth listening. Luke Bryan doesn't light this song up. He's just complaining about his girl problems. Granted, he actually tells us a story about his girl problems, unlike Adam Levine in our previous song, who just says random words strung together in a slightly catchy beat. Granted, Luke's story isn't that interesting of story. But at least there's something. They had a fight. She left him. Now he is drowning in his misery, wishing she could love him again. Typical country stuff. Not awful. I've definitely heard worse. But it's nothing I'm going to purposely listen to again.

77- "Revenge" - XXXTENTACION -- Continuing our short XXX saga here, the guy is now telling us he wants revenge. I think. This is the sequel to Jocelyn Flores where I think he's mad at her for committing suicide. And he keeps telling us that he's now dug two graves, one for her I'm guessing and the other for him. So he's going to get revenge on her by committing suicide himself? That's not good. Maybe XXX should go call Logic's suicide hotline number. That's what I get from this. I felt emotion on "Jocelyn Flores." But I'm not so sure I like the direction this emotion has taken us.

79- "Neon Guts" - Lil Uzi Vert featuring Pharrell Williams -- This was one of the two songs from Uzi's album that I thought may have potential. Uzi himself I have zero faith in. But maybe Pharrell could add some life onto an album that is completely dead and boring? But nope. I think the most disappointing things is that this isn't Pharrell being Pharrell. Had he simply did what he usually did, I think this could've been a fun song. But instead Pharrell is trying to be Migos. No annoying sound effects, but the flow of this song is very Migos-like with all the short phrases that don't do a very good job of connecting together. It just seems like a bunch of random short phrases. I don't even know what it means to have neon guts. And I don't really care. Shame on you Pharrell.

80- "Two" - Lil Uzi Vert -- The first song on Uzi's album. If you care. And it's Uzi trying to tell the world he's got the money and the power. Good way to start off an album. By reminding the world how awesome, rich and cocky you are. Yes, I'm being sarcastic there. Uzi is a punk and I hate his music. The end.

81- "X" - Lil Uzi Vert -- I was going through this song and there was a line I just got stuck on. Uzi says that this girl has a butt like a zebra at the zoo. What in the living heck? I just... can't even. More stuff about riches, fame, stealing girls. All that garbage. But really?!?! Comparing a girl to a zebra? I...

82- "For Real" - Lil Uzi Vert -- Just a song about Uzi making love with all of these girls. Because he's so cool and famous. And he rhymes "For Real" with "Pharrell." Because that's even cooler. Yet, Pharrell's not even on this song. Fail.

84- "UnFazed" - Lil Uzi Vert featuring The Weeknd -- Why in the fetch does he capitalize the "f" in unfazed? Because he's Uzi. That's why. I almost skipped this song just in spite of that. But I listened to it anyways because it has The Weeknd on it and that gave me hope that it could be tolerable. But again, no. I should've skipped it. We start the song with The Weeknd saying the phrase "I'm unfazed" for 40 seconds. Then he gives a phoned in, lazy verse, which is followed by 40 more seconds of saying "I'm unfazed." Then we get a verse of Uzi trying to be Migos and singing more boring stuff. Then we end with 40 more seconds of "I'm unfazed." And this is music?

90- "No Sleep Leak" - Lil Uzi Vert -- What does "No Sleep Leak" even mean? Never mind. I don't want to know. And this is Uzi being full out Migos. It's awful. Get it away from me.

91- "Depression & Obsession" - XXXTENTACION -- At 2:24, I think this song might be XXX's longest song on the album. But it also might have the least amount of lyrics. Most of this is just slow guitar. This comes after XXX's song about how Jocelyn Flores committed suicide. And now he gives a statement that depression and obsession don't mix well. But is he talking about Jocelyn? Well, I certainly hope not. Because he says that he's poisoned and that he ate this girl. That's an awkward thing to come right after singing about a girl who killed herself. But I actually think this is talking about a different girl. He has depression, but yet he became obsessed with this girl after making out with her and that doesn't mix well. But pick a different metaphor, XXX, and put it somewhere else on the album. Because now I am envisioning you having eaten a girl who just committed suicide and that's a rather disgusting thought.

92- "Dark Queen" - Lil Uzi Vert -- Nope. I don't want to do it. Get this away from me. It's Migos again, but stretched out, boring Migos that is wrong in every way. I initially typed a lot of angry words after finally being done with all of Uzi's songs, but then I deleted them. Needless to say, this man's rap is the epitome of everything wrong with rap culture today and I hate it. His music is absolute dog crap and I'm ashamed for this country that we let 10 of his songs enter the charts when actual good, talented artists are being held off.

94- "Save Me" - XXXTENTACION -- OK, I lied. This song is longer than "Depression & Obsession." At 2:43, this is about the length of a normal song. Surprise! But most of this is a super depressing instrumental where he's crying for someone to save him. And he states that over and over. Because XXX doesn't write lyrics, really. But again, I feel like XXX is telling us he wants to commit suicide and he's begging for someone to save him. Call the number, brother. Call the number.

95- "Carry On" - XXXTENTACION -- One of the final songs on the 11 track, 21 minute long album that XXX released, this song mostly bored me. Same subject matter. Life sucks for him. He wants to kill himself. Me thinking he should call the suicide hotline. Let's hope he carries on and does something positive with his life. While he tries to carry on, I will carry on and move on from this XXX music that I hope doesn't show up again.

97- "Tell Me You Love Me" - Demi Lovato -- I saw this title and I immediately started singing "Lovefool" by The Cardigans. "Love me, love me. Say that you love me! Fool me, fool me. Go on and fool me!" Yeah, fun time jamming out to a classic 90's song. With that out of the way, Demi actually gives us something to cheer for this week. Funny that our three new real releases this week, outside all our Lil Uzi and XXX stuff, are all about an individual begging or asking a significant other to love them. Adam Levine just gives empty words. Luke Bryan tells a boring, cliche story. Demi might not bring anything new the table lyrically, but this is a song where she harnesses that vocal talent that I love from her. Sometimes she hides that voice of hers and I get frustrated when that happens, but this time she lets it out and brings some serious emotion to what otherwise would be cliche lyrics. And hey, what do you know. Adding some strong vocals with some real emotion actually makes me care about this heartbroken love story that she's telling us. Adam and Luke should take notes.