Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- "God's Plan" - Drake (=) -- Drake reigns for a ninth straight week after debuting at No. 1 with "God's Plan" and it's those streaming numbers that I look at each week. The number the song got this week is 68.5 million U.S. streams, down just 6 percent from its 72.9 million U.S. streams last week. That's not a very slim drop compared to previous weeks and this number has to at least get down the 40-50 million range before there are any realistic threats to dethrone it. And it has to get even lower if our current No. 2 song is going to pass it as "Meant to Be" only has 22.7 million U.S. streams. There's only seven weeks to go before "God's Plan" hits that illustrious 16-week mark. I'm not really confident that "Meant to Be" will be able to top it in time, but if those streaming numbers get low enough, I think another huge debut from someone could sweep in and spoil the run. But time is ticking. Currently I'm still fine with this song at No. 1, although it would be really fun to see Bebe and FGL take the title.
2- "Meant to Be" - Bebe Rexha & Florida Georgia Line (+2) -- I honestly think "Meant to Be" jumping up to No. 2 has more to do with "Perfect" and "Finesse" finally falling off while "Meant to Be" just happened to be in the right place at the right time. I already mentioned that "God's Plan" has triple the number of streaming numbers as "Meant to Be" does, but looking at those other two metrics, "Meant to Be" is ahead on radio and rising faster, 111 million (up 8 percent) vs. Drake's 104 million (up 3 percent) and sales are fairly insignificant with Drake at 44,000 sales vs. Bebe and FGL's 35,000. I'm currently really happy about this song's success. I still find myself singing it quite often and if it does go No. 1, I'll be quite ecstatic!
3- "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran (-1) -- It was bound to happen eventually. This song has been slowly bleeding out for a while now, but stayed at No. 2 for eight weeks this year because nothing else was willing to step in and take its place. Finally it gave we to "Meant to Be," which I'm happy with. I like both songs, but "Perfect" has had its time in the spotlight, so it's time to share.
4- "Finesse" - Bruno Mars & Cardi B (-1) -- I find it interested that "Finesse" is still at No. 1 on the radio with 140 million in total audience, which is up 3 percent from last week. Yet its sales and streaming must be in the basement because it still can't top "Perfect" and has also now fallen behind "Meant to Be," which I previously mentioned is only at 111 million in total radio audience and doesn't have super amazing streaming and sales numbers. But hey, I'm not complaining. It's time for Bruno to get out of here. Maybe the radio should stop playing this dumb song, too.
5- "Psycho" - Post Malone featuring Ty Dolla $ign (=) -- Post Malone stays at No. 5. Meh. I want this gone, but at least it doesn't seem to have the ability to get any higher, so I think this is a win.
6- "The Middle" - Zedd, Maren Morris & Grey (=) -- I'm totally expecting this song to break into the top five sooner rather than later. In fact, with "Perfect," "Finesse" and "Psycho" all seeming quite weak, I don't think it's out of the realm of possibilities that this jumps up to No. 3 within the next week or two as it's soaring on radio right now.
7- "SAD!" - XXXTENTACION (+12) -- Let me remind you something about X. This guy is currently awaiting trial for aggravated battery of a pregnant woman, domestic battery by strangulation, false imprisonment, and around 15 felony counts of witness tampering and witness harassment. In a day where we are attempting to end the careers of actors after allegations of sexual misconduct, shouldn't record labels, radio stations and streaming services be dropping this disgusting criminal? Or does the Me Too movement not apply to rappers. Listen, this song isn't as bad as some of his previous songs and is a better than most current rap, if you even want to call this song rap. And it's only this high because of the album boost that provides X with five additional new songs on the charts this week. But still. I'm not just going to ignore this guy's personal life and neither should anyone else. People like him shouldn't be rewarded with successful music careers after such awful behavior. So it's a shame to the United States of America that he now has a top 10 hit added to his resume.
8- "Havana" - Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug (-1) -- I imagine Camila only has a few weeks left at most with "Havana" in the top 10. It's been a great run. Now I hope that "Never Be the Same" can enter the top 10 as "Havana" falls out. I'm sad to report that it hit a bit of a snag this week and fell a few spots instead of continuing to rise. But let's hope that it recovers and doesn't peak in the teens.
9- "Freaky Friday" - Lil Dicky featuring Chris Brown (new) -- I'll talk about this song in my new arrivals section down below, but why in the heck are we letting Chris Brown debut in the top 10? Let's hope this is just a one-week thing. I think this is supposed to be funny and comedic, but I didn't laugh. I'll accept it for this week, I suppose. But if it stays any longer I'm going to be angry.
10- "Pray for Me" - The Weeknd & Kendrick Lamar (-2) -- Well, thanks to X and Chris Brown, a much better rap song got pushed down to No. 10. Let's correct this next week, please? Send those two other songs away and let this good "Black Panther" track go back up. And bring back "All the Stars" as well.
Rising on the Hot 100:
13- "Ric Flair Drip" - Offset & Metro Boomin (+2) -- Can we please somehow prevent this song from entering the top 10? That would be nice. I still like "Stir Fry" by Migos, but that's the exception, not the rule. Anything else by any or all of the Migos trio should be blocked. If "Ric Flair Drip" peaks right here, I can sleep good.
15- "Mine" - Bazzi (+2) -- OK, I'm glad this partial song hasn't completely exploded. I was worried that it was going to be the next big, annoying thing. But the fact that it's still managed to hang around is concerning.
20- "Walk It Talk It" - Migos featuring Drake (+49) -- Yikes! This jumped nearly half of the charts because of a music video, right? That means it can fall back down next week? Hopefully? As I said, we don't need any more Migos.
28- "Friends" - Marshmello & Anne-Marie (+13) -- The official friendzone anthem, as the music video title claims. Yes, making friendzone into one word instead of its normal two words. I looked up to see if it was a video that boosted this song as well, but since the video is a month old, it appears that this is just shooting up naturally, which I'm fine with. It's a fun song from Marshmello and Anne-Marie.
30- "Heaven" - Kane Brown (+6) -- I'm not worried that this song is now top 30. It doesn't have the pop crossover to get much higher than this, which is good because this is a dull country song that is probably already higher than it deserves.
37- "changes" - XXXTENTACION (+22) -- A huge boost due to the album drop. Let's hope this is just a one-week thing and this can fall back down next week. If X had written full songs, maybe I'd give him more credit. But he's a lazy criminal that belongs in prison.
40- "Lemon" - N.E.R.D & Rihanna (+21) -- This song is really confusing. I want it to become a hit, but it keeps yo-yo-ing on the charts. It can't decide if it wants to be a hit or if it wants to go away, so it just keeps bouncing around. I don't know why it got a 21-spot jump this week, but I would love it if it actually gained traction.
51- "Powerglide" - Rae Sremmurd & Juicy J (+25) -- Funny story. When this song debuted on the charts two weeks ago, I forgot to cover it. I realized that shortly after posting, but I didn't care enough at the time to go back and edit my post. So here I am right now talking about it after it gets a 25-spot jump after doing nothing last week. Turns out I have heard this song a lot as ESPN uses the chorus from Swae Lee to advertise their NBA games on ESPN. And I find myself being able to tolerate it a lot better than all their other rap-induced commercials that I usually mute. So credit to Swae Lee for writing a catchy chorus that fits well musically into ESPN advertising, even if the content has nothing to do with basketball. It's just a weed and party anthem. They're smoking, sleeping with girls and driving their Lamborghini. And when Juicy J and Slim Jxmmi come in, they destroy any good that Swae sets up. There's probably a reason ESPN doesn't use their verses. Because it's awful both musically and lyrically whereas Swae is awful just lyrically. So I'll definitely pass on this, but I'm not that upset that it's around.
52- "All on Me" - Devin Dawson (+13) -- I kinda forgot this song from the end of last year existed, but in giving it a second listen, I remember that I actually enjoy it. So yeah, if country radio wants to give this song a good push, I definitely approve.
59- "X" - Nicky Jam & J Balvin (+12) -- Out of all the Latino dance songs that could be finding success, this is the one that I don't approve of. Let's make it go away because there's better ones out there that deserve to be given a push over this one.
66- "Delicate" - Taylor Swift (+18) -- I honestly don't know what this song is going to do. All the other songs from "reputation" have fizzled out rather quickly. Can Taylor break that trend and finally find some traction? Well, I hope so because this is one of the better songs on the album and deserves a nice, long run on the Billboard charts.
85- "I Lived It" - Blake Shelton (+10) -- Meh. Whatever. There's worse country songs out there and Blake Shelton will probably do well because his name is Blake Shelton. But this isn't really one of his good songs. I like the idea behind it, but not the execution.
New Arrivals:
9- "Freaky Friday" - Lil Dicky featuring Chris Brown -- OK, I'm going to give this song points for creativity. I rag on most rap songs for an extreme lack of creativity. I mean, for crying out loud, 95 percent of rap songs these days are about riches, fame, drugs and sex. Lil Dicky and Chris Brown came up with a song about them switching bodies and making fun of themselves. At least that's different. But I suppose it's the concept I'm praising and not the execution. Apparently one of Lil Dicky's greatest desires is to be able to say the n-word and he's jealous of blacks and hispanics because they can say it and he, as a white person, can't. That's most of Lil Dicky's as Chris Brown. Then Chris Brown in Lil Dicky's body spends most of the time about having a different male private part, which recurs at the end when one of them jumps into Kendall Jenner's body. "Oh my gosh! I'm a female and now I have female parts! Now I can understand women!" Give me a break. The only part that I snickered at is when they switched to DJ Khaled for a second and asked "Why am I yelling?" Because, seriously, why?
35- "Moonlight" - XXXTENTACION -- You read what I said about X above. He should be in prison right now, not celebrating a successful music career. But even if we foolishly ignore the nearly 20 felony counts against him, this album he released is 18 tracks that total 37 minutes. That's an average of just over two minutes per song. Meaning he put no effort into this and even lazily titled the album "?" probably because he had no idea what to call it. Since he didn't even care to put much time into this, neither will I in reviewing this songs. "Moonlight" comes in at 2:15, meaning it's sadly longer than the average. In that time period, he drops the n-word 14 times and mumbles his way through something about the moonlight and spotlight. Even if I made an effort to figure out what he was talking about, I don't think it's possible because this is vaguer than something Shawn Mendes would write.
49- "Found / Tonight" - Lin-Manuel Miranda & Ben Platt -- I'm going to make a confession that I probably shouldn't, but is important for my honesty with this song. I have not seen nor listened to the music of "Dear Evan Hansen" nor "Hamilton." I suppose I could lie and say I have, then pretend that I thus love this mashup of "You Will Be Found" from "Dear Evan Hansen" and "The Story of Tonight" from "Hamilton" because of that and I would be safe from all your torches and pitchforks. But that wouldn't be true. So while I run for my life, I will desperately throw out there that I did my homework to some small extent by listening to both songs that this is a mashup of before judging this song. And I enjoyed both songs individually and I think they also work great together. Platt and Miranda mix well together as great vocalists and the lyrics of the songs intertwine rather perfectly. As the album art claims, a portion of the proceeds go to the March for Our Lives initiative, which is fantastic. On that note we have lyrics that say when our children tell our story, they'll tell the story of tonight, which I certainly hope will be the case for this initiative. Then from the other song, we have lyrics encouraging someone who's feeling lonely to stay strong. In terms of the Parkland shooting that inspired the March for Our Lives initiative, this is a rather beautiful and fitting theme song.
Platt said in a press release for the song, "Better gun control is something that all Americans should be passionate about...These students are paving the way for future generations and it's so inspiring to see young people stand up for what is probably the most important cause right now in this country, and demanding action. I hope this song can play some small part in bringing about real change."
Amen to that.
67- "the remedy for a broken heart (why am I so in love)" - XXXTENTACION -- This song is even longer than the previous song at 2:40. But don't trick yourself into thinking this is an actual song. He wrote one verse with some decent flow through part of it before he stumbles and starts mumbling the rest of it. Outside that there's just two different stanzas that he's repeating over and over. All around him is falling and he's going to mix a little bit of weed with a little bit of cash. That's his remedy for his broken heart.
72- "In My Blood" - Shawn Mendes -- Mr. pretty boy is telling us all about how awful this experience is for him. With his descriptions, you would think that he got in a serious accident of sorts and wants to give up, but it isn't in his blood. What's that awful experience? What you are you going through, Mendes? Care to share? This is a song written by you. You are allowed to be descriptive about your challenge instead of giving forever vague lyrics. Yet that's all that ever happens in a Shawn Mendes song. Extremely vague lyrics that probably don't actually mean anything. In his one descriptive stanza, he says that he's looking through his phone again, is feeling anxious and is afraid to be alone again. Oh. So he's just dealing with a breakup, treating it like one silly little breakup nearly ended his life. Grow up, you little punk. Stop acting like a teenage girl.
82- "NUMB" - XXXTENTACION -- Oh my goodness! X surpassed three minutes with a song as "NUMB" comes in at 3:06! But again, don't let that fool yourself into thinking this is an actual song. He has one verse that he mumbles four times. It goes as follows, "And single year, I'm drowning in my tears; I'm drowning in my tears again; I can't seem to forget the pain that you see me me give; The pain you see me give, my friend." That's verbatim. No typos on my end. But it seems he certainly didn't double check his lyrics before he recorded them because they almost make sense, but not quite. I'll let you interpret what he's talking about. The song is three minutes long because of some instrumentals in between the verses and some whoas thrown in there.
83- "infinity (888)" - XXXTENTACION featuring Joey Bada$$ -- Believe it or not, this is an actual rap song instead of being one or two short stanzas repeated over and over. But it's really just a two minute song because Joey and X spend the last minute of this 2:56 song repeating "I don't feel no pain no more." And also, the intro to the song is them talking back and forth as if they pressed record in the studio too early and didn't care to go back and repeat the recording or edit the song down. So Joey and X each wrote a verse that they rap here. I'll give them credit for writing a real rap verse. But it's sad when that's what it comes down to for X because the content in each verse is pure trash. Only more song from X to go!
84- "One Number Away" - Luke Combs -- From the country singer that brought us "Hurricane" and "When It Rains It Pours" last year. Two awful country songs. Joy. At least with this song Luke has a bit more personality and fire that he brings to the table, but content-wise he's just whining about this breakup that he can't get over, but also can't get the courage to dial her number and talk to her, so he just reminisces about what she could be doing at the moment. I'll give him some credit for being more descriptive with this situation instead of being extremely vague like Shawn Mendes. But I still don't care enough. The music and voice is decent enough, but the content is boring.
86- "Sit Next to Me" - Foster the People -- Oh my goodness, we have a Foster the People siting on the Billboard charts! We essentially haven't seen these guys since their huge debut hit "Pumped Up Kicks" stormed to No. 3 in 2010. They had a brief stay in 2012 with "Don't Stop (Color on the Walls)," which peaked at No. 86. But outside those two songs, they've only camped out on the rock charts without crossing over. So you can call this a comeback single and honestly I want to like this a lot more than I actually do. "Pumped Up Kicks" is a rather fascinating song that sounds super controversial if you're just casually listening to it, but if you actually take the time to dive into the song, it tells a really deep, mind-opening story. It's one of those moments where they caught lightning in a bottle and maybe they haven't been relevant since because they haven't been able to recapture that? I haven't listened to much of their music, so I can't say for sure, but there's certainly no depth behind "Sit Next to Me." It's a relaxing, chill alternative rock song about him searching for this girl. So it's decently pleasing to the ears, but too empty for me to care too much about it.
95- "going down!" - XXXTENTACION -- Of the five new songs from X this week, this is the worst. And the shortest at 1:55. This "song" is one verse surrounded by a chorus on each side. The chorus is essentially X repeating that "it's going down!" And the verse is gross and disgusting. I don't know why people listen to this trashy rapper that is too lazy to even write full songs. And given that this is an 18-track, 37-minute album and four of the five new songs are over that average, that must mean the other songs are extremely short, but I certainly don't care enough to check them out. And if you are wondering why I'm all over the place with uppercase and lowercase when typing his songs' names, I'm stylizing them exactly as he does on the album. I've also seen several different ways of stylizing XXXTENTACION, but again I'm going with all caps there because that's how he stylizes it on the album. Now with seven songs from "?" covered on this blog, I'm singing my praises that I don't have to touch the other 11 songs. Can we officially be done with this felon?
100- "Everybody Hates Me" - The Chainsmokers -- This title makes me laugh. Everybody does hate Andrew Taggart and The Chainsmokers. And it's sad, really, because I liked them a lot before they got super mainstream. But then "Closer" came around and after that became a huge hit, they just got lazy with their music. It was all boring and uninspired like they didn't care at all because they finally got famous. I wish Taggart would learn that their music is best when he's not the one singing. But since he doesn't care, he's back with his own bad vocals yet again singing about how being famous has made him so miserable. Because we all believe that, right? The song tries to incorporate a bit of a drop, but it's not quite heavy enough to make me want to get up and dance. So the combination of lazy lyrics, uninspired vocals and a half-hearted at best attempt to make a dance song make this yet another disposable song from The Chainsmokers. I wish they would go back to making good music, but I fear they forgot how.
