Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (+1) -- This ruined my day. I'm not kidding. I was bitter and grumpy from the moment I saw this. Why in the living frack is such a stupid, lifeless, boring song at the top of the Billboard charts? I don't understand. This horrible rap culture needs to burn out and die so we can stop poisoning our charts with such monstrosity. I don't know what else to say. Just another reason to hate 2017. The year that we let Post Malone and 21 Savage go No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100.
2- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)" - Cardi B (-1) -- I never thought I'd say this, but I want "Bodak Yellow" to go back to No. 1. At least I can understand the appeal to this song whereas "rockstar" has be completely baffled at how we let such a stupid song go No. 1.
3- "1-800-273-8255" - Logic featuring Alessa Cara & Khalid (+1) -- Actually I have a better idea. Let's kick out "rockstar" AND "Bodak Yellow" and let Logic's suicide prevention song go No. 1. But what am I kidding? This is 2017. Something cool like that isn't going to happen.
4- "Look What You Made Me Do" - Taylor Swift (+1) -- "Mi Gente" collapsed, as you'll see in a second. That's why Logic, T-Swift and Portugal. The Man each jumped up a spot. Certainly a good sign for T-Swift that she managed to hold steady this week after it looked like she was about to collapse.
5- "Feel it Still" - Portugal. The Man (+1) -- OK, I may be a miserable person right now because of our top song, but at least we get to celebrate Portugal. The Man getting a top five hit. This makes me ecstatic! Also, I finally listened to their full album "Woodstock" from earlier this year and I'd give it a solid recommendation. "Feel it Still" is easily the best song from the album, but the album as a whole is still very easy on the ears. And did I mention that this is the top song on radio? At least something is going right in the world of music.
6- "Mi Gente" - J Balvin & Willy William featuring Beyonce (-3) -- A surprising collapse for "Mi Gente." I guess I suppose that I expected it to follow in the footsteps of "Despacito" after that song's remix was released. But Beyonce's feature just gave it a huge one week boost. Now I'm really curious to see if it will reverse course and start gaining traction or if it's heading out of the top 10 altogether after a brief stay. Next week will be telling.
7- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (+6) -- Oh look. There is more good in the world! I'm so happy to see that this song is getting some good traction after it's initial huge debut. Wouldn't it be fantastic if this song gave Sam Smith a No. 1 hit? I would be stoked, especially since this is still one of my favorite songs of the year. I relate to Sam quite a bit on this.
8- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (-1) -- More good news. "Thunder" dropped a spot. I'm not convinced it's on its way out. I think it will do a great job of annoying me by sticking around, but if we can stop this dull beat from getting top five, I'll consider it a win.
9- "Sorry Not Sorry" - Demi Lovato (-1) -- I'm surprised to see Demi take a hit after hitting a career high on the charts last week. I was assuming that this would jump up another spot or two. But given that Sam Smith is the reason for this song getting knocked down, I'm not upset.
10- "Unforgettable" - French Montana featuring Swae Lee (=) -- By bringing back Sam Smith into the top 10, we managed to dump "Desapacito" from the region instead of this song. That makes me happy. We don't need "Despacito" anymore, while this song is deserving of at least one more week. I hope it can hang onto a few more as well.
Rising on the Hot 100:
12- "Attention" - Charlie Puth (+3) -- No! We got rid of this song from the top 10 and it made me super happy. This better not make a return. It would be nice if the radio would stop spamming people nationwide with this average piece of nothing, because that is literally the only reason why this is here.
14- "Bank Account" - 21 Savage (+2) -- Talk about another song that's been torturing me. I'm happy that it got stopped from the top 10 and started to fall down in the ranks. Seeing it rise again makes me nervous. I mean, we already gave this talentless punk a No. 1 hit this week. Can we all agree to reject the rest of his "music" and send him off the charts?
17- "What Lovers Do" - Maroon 5 featuring SZA (+2) -- I'm honestly surprised that this is moving up so slowly. But I'm definitely not complaining. It would be a dream come true if this stalled out and missed the top 10.
18- "Shape of You" - Ed Sheeran (+2) -- A one week rebound. Move out of the way "Shape of You" and let "Perfect" in.
22- "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran (+12) -- Oh hey! Speak of the devil. Here "Perfect" is! I'm happy this gorgeous love ballad is doing so well and I hope it is top 10 bound! It's not as good as "Castle on the Hill," but it's better than "Shape of You" and still a solid song from Ed's album.
31- "I Fall Apart" - Post Malone (+8) -- Gaining because of the popularity of Post Malone's other song. I don't understand.
32- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (+14) -- CAN WE FREAKING KILL THIS SONG YET??? WHY IS IT STILL RISING?!?!?!?!?!?
40- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (+9) -- And Halsey hits top 40. One can only hope that this song gets stuck in the mud before it becomes a top 20 hit. That would be annoying.
59- "Pills and Automobiles" - Chris Brown featuring Yo Gotti, A Boogie wit da Hoodie & Kodak Black (+10) -- This trio needs to go away and take this song with it. This is getting way too close to the top 50 and that makes me really nervous. We don't need to encourage Chris Brown.
66- "Relationship" - Young Thug featuring Future (+12) -- What's going on here?!?! This was a summer song that I was happy wasn't doing anything. Let's not start pushing it up now.
86- "Plain Jane" - A$AP Ferg (+11) -- Snooze. But it's only at No. 86, so that's not anything worth complaining about. Not yet, anyways.
New Arrivals:
20- "Almost Like Praying" - Lin-Manuel Miranda featuring Artists for Puerto Rico -- I like songs like this. Get a whole bunch of artists together to raise money for a good cause. Lin-Manuel Miranda is of mostly Puerto Rican descent and spent much of his life there, so when Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico, Miranda stepped in and organized this song. 100 percent of the proceeds go to helping Puerto Rico. So if you want to contribute a little to helping Puerto Rico, go buy spend $1.29 to buy this song. Every little bit helps. I mean, the song itself is essentially a bunch of artists getting together and repeating the 78 cities in Puerto Rico, so I don't know if it's anything I'm going to turn to for my casual listening. But if you hate on the song because of that, I think you're missing the point.
55- "Pray" - Sam Smith -- I'm loving where this album is going for Sam Smith. While other people like Charlie Puth and Shawn Mendes only know how to write generic, boring pop songs, Sam Smith is putting his heart and soul into his music. And that's why I'm so harsh on those other guys. If it sounds like your song means absolutely nothing to you, I'm going to call you out on it. With Sam Smith, it seems like he's giving us a peek into what his life is like currently. With "Too Good at Goodbyes," he told us about his love life. Which currently sucks. With "Pray," he's giving us his honest opinions of religion. He's admitting that he's not really been a religious person and sees himself as more of a sinner than a saint, but since trying to get through this thing called life on his own hasn't really worked out, maybe he'll pray. I love the honesty and I love the passion he puts into the music. Sam Smith has one of the best male vocals in the pop industry right now and he shows it again here. And I like the fact that he includes a Gospel Choir as his backing vocals, because in context that fits perfectly.
In an interview with Billboard, Sam Smith said the following, "I spent five days in Mosul and came back embarrassed that I had known so little about the world and other people's lives ... I wanted to write about what is going on in the rest of the world, and that it's not always pretty."
Seeing how awful the state of the world can also inspire a non-religious person to try to pray. Because the world needs help. Also a very respectable meaning for this song.
60- "How Long" - Charlie Puth -- Speaking of Puth, I honestly challenge you to listen to either of Sam Smith's songs and then listen to this and "Attention" and you'll see what I've been talking about. Charlie Puth is mad at a girl and the girl is mad at him. There's no context of this fight, what's happened before or where the relationship is going. This tells no story and gives no emotion. Quite frankly, when I listen to Charlie Puth's part of the argument, I side with the girl. It seems like Puth is giving BS excuses of what's going on, demanding the girl to forgive him and just blame it on him being drunk. Then he seems to turn it around and blame the girl for not being faithful. He's just acting like a spoiled brat who needs to get slapped in the face. If he's trying to make us feel for him, he's failing. If he's trying to paint himself as a jerk, well, I don't know why he would do that. Puth claims this is personal for him, but he definitely didn't make this sound personal. This is just a mess. I don't understand it or why the radio is so drunk on this untalented wannabe pop star.
72- "Heaven" - Kane Brown -- We've got a lot of praying this week and now Kane Brown adding to that by singing about heaven? Well, kinda. Kane is telling us that he hears all these people saying how great heaven is going to be, but he's not convinced because he can't see how heaven is going to be better than being with this girl. Say, what? I think you missed the point of heaven. You can actually be WITH the girl in heaven if things work out. But oh well. Whatever. I think Kane is trying to be super romantic with that, but it ends up coming off as more weird and facepalm-worthy. Add in some boring country chords and cliches, and this is just another dull country song.
91- "Dear Hate" - Maren Morris featuring Vince Gill -- I love seeing my girl Maren on the charts. She's fantastic at giving me the smooth, country pop feel that makes me feel like the old Taylor Swift is still here. This song was apparently written three years ago and has been played constantly by Maren, but she wanted to wait for the right time to release it as a single and in wake of the Vegas shooting, she felt like now was the right time. And man, I'd certainly have to agree. This song is more than your typical smooth country pop song, this has some power to it as Maren mourns about how she turns on the TV and sees so much hate in the world, but turns around and confidently, yet calmly sings to hate that love will conquer all and hate will eventually lose. It's not an in your face sort of song, but the peace and the calm to it make me feel that Maren is right. There's a lot of hate in the world and it's sad to see. But hate will lose. Love will win. And I think Vince Gill comes in and seamlessly adds his voice into this, making this a nice duet. All proceeds for the song will go to help Vegas victims. A song I can get behind and a cause I support. Thank you Maren and Vince.
95- "Lights Down Low" - MAX featuring gnash -- I spent some time trying to figure out if I knew who MAX is. Apparently he's an actor, singer, dancer. Been on Nickelodeon. Got some sort of nomination from Radio Disney Music Awards. But no. Nothing clicking for me personally. Don't know this guy. His name is Max Schneider, he's 25 years old and this is his first appearance on the Billboard Hot 100. He started writing this song when he started dating a girl named Emily. He put his heart and soul into making this romantic and perfect, and he sang the song to her when he proposed, with a harp playing in the background. This version doesn't have the harp. Just your typical pop, love ballad. But it's a really nice song that works perfectly as a wedding song. I can imagine this girl breaking up in tears of joy as her boyfriend starts singing this song to her while proposing. The problem is this applies to the ORIGINAL version WITHOUT gnash. I guess gnash was added for the remix in order to make the song relevant. It probably wouldn't charted without him. And while gnash's verse isn't bad, per se, it feels out of place. As if Max was in the middle of proposing and suddenly in the middle of the proposal, this other random dude stepped in and started singing the song to her. Yeah, it doesn't fit. Thus I'm not a huge fan of the remix that charted. But check out the original without gnash if you're in the mood for a love ballad.
97- "Too Hotty" - Quality Control featuring Quavo, Takeoff & Offset -- Featuring Quavo, Takeoff and Offset. Really? Did Quality Control think billing it that way would bring more attention to the song by making it seem like it was featuring three different popular rappers? Well, guess what? For those in the know, Quavo, Takeoff and Offset equal the annoying and putrid rap trio of Migos. Wait... what? Quality Control isn't an artist? It's Migos' label? I'm so confused. This billing makes no sense. So why not just call this "Too Hotty" by Migos? Whatever. Onto the song. You know I can't do Migos. Their constant sound effects throughout the song scattered in with their echoes and short phrases literally are a trigger for my Misophonia. Don't know what that is? Look it up. So I give their songs a minute. If I can't handle it, I turn it off. And I couldn't handle this song. So I definitely wasn't going to give it five full minutes. I turned it off after 48 seconds.
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