Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (=) -- A third week at No. 1 for Post Malone and 21 Savage. How much more torture are we all going to have to endure? The good news is that it fell in streaming this week, which is pretty much the only thing holding it up here. The bad news is it didn't fall by much as it still has over 50 million U.S. streams. It never had much in sales outside that first week and I'm not too concerned about its jump in radio because I don't think this is going to be a huge crossover to pop radio. The biggest problem is that there's nothing really in contention to dethrone it, so this might unfortunately be here for a while.
2- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)" - Cardi B (=) -- "Bodak Yellow" is falling faster as it's now below 40 million streams while also losing on radio a bit and collapsing the most on the sales that it never really had in the first place. I would really love it if Logic or Portugal. The Man could jump Cardi, but they're not really strong enough.
3- "1-800-273-8255" - Logic featuring Alessia Cara & Khalid (=) -- I am continually happy that this song is sticking around. Radio continues to rise, which gives me hope that it could sneak up to No. 2, but it took a streaming hit as well, so overall it's just coasting, which is what I'm expecting to continue to happen in the next few weeks.
4- "Feel it Still" - Portugal. The Man (=) -- "Feel it Still" rules the radio for a third straight week and those numbers are continually increasing, making me think that if something were to break up the order for the top five, it could be this song. With not much to brag about on sales and streaming, I'm not super confident in its potential to get too much higher, but I am simply hoping it remains consistent enough to sneak up another spot or two as the songs above it start to slowly collapse.
5- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (=) -- Yup. The top five is the exact same from last week. "Thunder" is once again stuck at this spot because of inconsistent metrics. The radio got a huge boost this week, but the sales that it held onto the last few weeks due to that commercial it was in have started to plummet. We have some new competition below the top five this week, so I really hope that this song is the first to get kicked out.
6- "Sorry Not Sorry" - Demi Lovato (+1) -- Another week, another career high for Demi as "Sorry Not Sorry" jumps from No. 7 to No. 6. Now it's time for Demi to get her very first top five because I am really not content with "Thunder" remaining in the region. I hate "rockstar" and "Bodak Yellow" being in there, too, but they aren't anywhere close to falling down, which is why I'm hoping we can get a small victory.
7- "Havana" - Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug (+13) -- Oh hello there, Camila! I knew this song was coming because it's consistently risen on the charts the past month or so, but Camila had quite the well times music video release that surprisingly shot it all the way up to No. 7. I'm happy for Camila. This is not the greatest pop song ever to be created and I certainly hate the fact that we've let Young Thug in the top 10 now, but this is a decent pop song that brings yet another female artist into the top 10. And it is Camila's first entry as a lead solo artist following her work in Fifth Harmony as well as her featured take on Machine Gun Kelly's song that debuted towards the end of last year, so that's a notable milestone. It looks like Camila just might have a good career ahead of her as a solo artist, which is definitely where I prefer her to be as opposed to that Fifth Harmony trash. Glad that those girls have failed without her.
8- "Mi Gente" - J Balvin & Willy William featuring Beyonce (-2) -- After being at No. 6 for two weeks, "Mi Gente" falls two spots, which means that probably won't be gaining anymore traction after the Beyonce mix surged it into this region. I'm not upset. The Beyonce mix ruined the song, so this doesn't deserve huge success.
9- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (-1) -- I'm just going to pretend that Sam Smith only fell a spot this week because of the surgence of "Havana" and not because we are starting to let this song slip. With so much trash in the top 10, let's keep the good stuff around, please! I at least want to see this go top five.
10- "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran (+8) -- The second surprise of the week. Again, I knew this was coming to the top 10, but I didn't know it would be here so soon. That means we booted out "Unforgettable" and "Look What You Made Me Do." I'm a little sad about the former, but won't lose tears about the latter. And I love the fact that we have another good song in the top 10. One that appears to be here naturally, whereas "Havana" got a boost because of the release of the music video. I don't see any major indication as to why "Perfect" is here outside it gaining good traction in all areas, which is a very positive thing for Ed Sheeran. I predict that this will be around here for a while and I'm happy about it. It's a really pretty love song from Ed.
Rising on the Hot 100:
12- "What Lovers Do" - Maroon 5 featuring SZA (+7) -- I won't be happy if this is a top 10 entry soon. But if it is, let's cross our fingers that it will be replacing "Mi Gente" and not "Too Good at Goodbyes." I think it's been a while since Maroon 5 has had a huge top 10 hit. Quite frankly I was enjoying their absence, so they can go away.
14- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (+13) -- NO!!!!!!!!! I hate that this song exists and that we're making Lil Pump a thing. But I was mildly happy that it seemed like it was plateauing in the 20's. But a huge jump up to No. 14? What is this world coming to? I'm guessing all the punk kids in middle school are responsible for this one because I don't have any other explanation as to how this can be considered music.
30- "No Limit" - G-Eazy featuring A$AP Rocky & Cardi B (+12) -- Well, fine, when compared to "Gucci Gang," I'm less offended that this also got a big jump. And this one is only at No. 30, so it's not quite time to complain too much as it still has a possibility of stalling out. If it does become a huge hit, G-Eazy and A$AP Rocky better bow down and thank Cardi B, because I think that's the only reason why this is here.
46- "...Ready for It?" - Taylor Swift (+6) -- With a music video release impacting this song this week, I expected a little more than a mild six spot jump this week. I guess people just weren't ready for it. Or maybe it's because Taylor Swift's weird "Ghost in the Shell" parody in the music video creeped too many out. But the most likely scenario is that Taylor Swift is just not getting traction and "Look What You Made Me Do" took an even harder tumble this week, falling from No. 10 to No. 25. She's tried again by releasing "Gorgeous," which I'll talk about in a second. But all things considered, it's not looking good for the success of that album based on her current track record with this album.
63- "Losing Sleep" - Chris Young (+17) -- I might start loosing sleep if this is the country song that gains traction instead of the other country songs that are actually worthy of rising on the charts.
67- "Like I Loved You" - Brett Young (+11) -- Well this one is certainly worthy. I hope Brett Young has similar success with this as he did with his last single. But I'm not crossing my fingers since country radio can't seem to get too many things right these days.
75- "Let You Down" - NF (+12) -- Here's another pleasant surprise. Christian rappers never debut on the charts, so part of me was thinking this would be a simple one week trip to the charts. A win enough for me since this type of rap music is stuff that I actually appreciate and enjoy. But is this actually going to gain traction and have a really good run on the charts? That would be fantastic!
New Arrivals:
13- "Gorgeous" - Taylor Swift -- I've been a lot nicer to Taylor Swift than many others have. I don't know if I liked the idea of Taylor having the whole album be a bitter hate-fest, but if she had to get it out of her system, I thought "Look What You Made Me Do" was an intelligent, well-written diss track. And I actually felt it was very self-aware and not her falling off the deep end like some people thought. The music video seemed to confirm that. I think what we can gather from "...Ready for It?" and "Gorgeous" is that the album is going to be much more like typical Taylor Swift stuff as opposed to bitter, hateful Taylor Swift. Because "Gorgeous" is another romance song about boys, specifically her new boyfriend Joe Alwyn. The exact song you would expect from Taylor Swift. Honestly, though, I think this is the lesser of the three songs so far. I think I liked "...Ready for It?" because of the strong bass and heavy EDM vibes. It fits Taylor really well. "Gorgeous" still has that EDM influence, but it's a lot softer. And I don't think the lyrics are as interesting. It's just her talking about how gorgeous her boyfriend is and how she has to stay with him, despite the fact that she is quite frustrated with him. Ironically, though, I think this song is going to connect a lot more with die-hard Taylor Swift fans. So if you liked Taylor Swift, but you frustrated at her newer stuff because you thought she was falling off the deep end, then perhaps check this one out?
50- "Patek Water" - Future & Young Thug featuring Offset -- The album of the week for this week's charts is "SUPER SLIMEY" by Future and Young Thug. Because the world definitely needed that album collaboration. I suppose it could be worse. Next week we'll have "Without Warning" by 21 Savage, Offset and Metro Boomin. I could be covering up to 10 songs from that. But let's hope not. This week week we get six songs from Future and Young Thug. I'm just grateful at this point that I didn't get all 13 and that the highest charting song of the bunch was this one at No. 50. Because, you know, it could be a lot worse. I hope this means these songs will be gone next week because this certainly doesn't belong here. When it comes to Future, I have two simple qualifications that I want him to meet: 1- Can I understand him? 2- Is he saying anything interesting? Most of the time he fails at that, considering the fact that he was the one who popularized mumble rap. This one he certainly fails. Now I always get nervous when a rapper posts lyrics about something I don't know because I usually assume it is a dirty reference. In this case, Patek Water is referring to a super fancy Swiss watch. So, you know, it was necessary to have three of them on to brag about how rich and famous they are. And yeah, they are both mumbling and doing Migos rap here.
61- "Meant to Be" - Bebe Rexha & Florida Georgia Line -- Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line? So are they going to mesh genres in the song or is one of them going to compromise and match the other? I was kinda hoping that Bebe Rexha would try to experiment a bit with Florida Georgia Line's brand of twangy country pop because I was thinking that the genre might fit her well. To my pleasure, the latter is exactly what Bebe does. This song starts with Florida Georgia line with a 30 second verse and a 30 second chorus politely asking the girl to relax and enjoy their time together. Then Bebe comes in at the minute mark and she matches her tone by going with a twangy country pop and I really like it. And in her verse she responds to the notion of why she seems so tense, so they play off each other lyrically quite well. Then with the final minute and a half, they just sing the chorus together and it gets a bit repetitive. I could've used another verse by one of them in the middle of that final section. But as is, I was still pleased. It's upbeat, relaxed and just good old fashioned simply country pop that does well of pleasing the pop group and the country group.
62- "No Cap" - Future & Young Thug -- This is the song that opens their album. They apparently wanted their audience to know right away that the only thing they will be singing about is how rich and famous they are. Because that's all this is. Without Offset featuring on this track, there's less Migos rap on this song. Instead their just doing Future's typical mumble rap. Although in this case is more like slurred rap. Because I understand what they are saying. They're just saying it in a really sloppy, meshed up way. Young Thug makes sure to do his best Future impression when he follows him because he apparently wants to be just as awful as Future is. In this song, I might even say he's worse for the fact that he referred to himself as Myer Michaels in this song. Because, you know, he can't even get the name right of one of horror's most iconic villains. It's Michael Myers, Young Thug! If you did that on accident, that's hilariously awful. If you did it on purpose, that's just plain stupid and not as cool as you think. Are we going to say Krueggy Fredder, Voorhee Jasons or Bate Normans, too?
68- "Feed Me Dope" - Future -- No Young Thug on this one. That's a plus. Kinda. Instead of Future and wannabe Future, we are left with just Future. And he takes full advantage of no Young Thug to mumble his whole way through the song that's not subtle at all. It's in the title. Future wants all the dope he can get and he says you might as well just give your girl up to him. Funny thing is he starts it off by saying "Clever as it get" in his intro. No, Future, nothing about this is clever.
77- "All Da Smoke" - Future & Young Thug -- Robin is back together with Batman in this song and all they're doing is smoking. And I can't understand a single thing. Reading the lyrics makes me assured that I missed nothing. Young Thug is relegated to Migos echoes for most of the song before getting his turn to mumble through a verse later on.
84- "Candy Paint" - Post Malone -- One of the more annoying side effects of Post Malone undeservedly reigning at the top of the Billboard charts is that a lot of his other songs keep showing up from random places, making me super nervous that when he releases his next album, I'll be talking about the whole thing. "Candy Paint" is a song hidden on the soundtrack of "The Fate of the Furious" from earlier this year. A movie I really enjoyed. But can we all just agree that the only song from the soundtrack worth anything is the remix of "Speakerbox" by Bassnectar featuring Ohana Bam and Lafa Taylor? Blast that song on the speakers of your car and you'll be suddenly instilled with the desire to go street racing like in "The Fast and the Furious" movies. Or maybe you'll be confident enough to go toe to toe with The Rock in a fight. But I digress. I'm not supposed to be talking about that song. I'm supposed to be talking about "Candy Paint," which comes right after "Speakerbox" on the album. Here we have Post Malone bragging about how awesome his custom 1992 Ford Explorer with blue candy paint, white on top and Lambo-style doors. It probably fits somewhere in the movie without being super noticeable or offensive. But on its own, it's worth logging away, especially when Post Malone starts bragging about being rich and stealing your girl. Kudos for originality there, Post Malone. Not.
88- "Wolves" - Selena Gomez & Marshmello -- Here's another interesting collaboration. For the second time this year, Selena is working with an EDM artist for a single. Now, Selena has always seemed a bit desperate to me. Desperate to help people forget her child star, baby face from her Disney Channel days by proving she's a sexy, grown woman. Desperate to fit in with the current music trends to make sure she's not left in the dust. I'm not sure if she's found a solid identity with her music, but I think I found one for her. EDM. "It Ain't Me" with Kygo was one of my favorite Selena songs. Mainly because of Kygo. But I think her voice fit perfectly to his electronic beats. Similarly, Selena also fits in perfectly with Marshmello's style. At first the song seems toned down and mellow, thus I was wondering if this was going to be a restrained Marshmello song. But then we get to the chorus and the song speeds up, starts climbing and gives a good drop while maintaining mellow tones as she describes her journey through the jungle and the wolves to find this boy. Selena even gets to show off her vocal talent at the appropriate moments of the song. Honestly this is one of the best songs Selena has come up with and I hope she continues this direction.
92- "4 Da Gang" - Future -- It's sad that after something so good that we have to go back to useless Future. He's by himself again. Bragging about his private jet and how he spent $80,000 last night. Seriously, who listens to this crap? Luckily there's only one more. But first we have to deal with a useless Liam Payne song.
98- "Bedroom Floor" - Liam Payne -- Because the world needed more Liam Payne, right? Why not bring one of the talented 1D members back to the charts instead promoted the lesser ones? I don't get it. I suppose Harry Styles' excellent work is not the right fit for 2017 because 2017 is the year we invite and promote the crap. Which is why Liam Payne is getting put in the spotlight. And guess what? Charlie Puth is on as a co-writer of this song. Joy! Because, yeah, this song sucks. Liam is acting very arrogant and controlling over this girl, almost in a condescendingly abusive way. She's obviously trying to get away from him, presumably because he's a punk who doesn't treat her well, but when she can't get away and ends up coming back to him, he's essentially bragging to her that he was right about her unable to leave. She claims they are over, but he claims her clothes on his bedroom floor prove otherwise. I just imagine an abusive, controlling boyfriend singing a song like this, then the song starts to make me sick. Such high levels of arrogance.
100- "Three" - Future & Young Thug -- The final song from this stupid album! And this actually comes in as track No. 2. So, after they spend the whole first song bragging about how rich they are, they decide to spend the whole second song bragging about how rich they are. Except they are going to switch it up by letting Young Thug start the bragging while Future comes in second. That's about as creative as we get. Because the content is all the same. The same exact crap that all of these awful rappers sing about. Because we haven't heard enough about how rich they all are, so they have to keep telling us. Well, do know what, Future and Young Thug? I hope you're poor, bankrupt and homeless by the time both of you are 50 because no one on planet earth is going to remember this horrendous crap 10 years from now. Especially since every song is the same crap. I'm just glad I didn't have to cover the other seven songs from the album. But without even listening to them, I can make a bet as to what they are all about! I'd be happy about being done, but 21 Savage is up next week. I'm not excited for that.
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