DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - March 30, 2019

The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! This is a weekly post where I cover three main sections of the charts: the Billboard Hot 100 top 10, the songs rising on the Hot 100, and the new arrivals. As pertaining to the rising songs, in order to be included, a song has to rise at least two spots between Nos. 11 and 20, five spots spots between Nos. 21 and 50, or 10 spots between Nos. 51 and 100. As pertaining to new arrivals, I used to dedicate myself to covering every single song that debuted, but that started to burn me out, especially with the high number of album bombs, so I've been a lot more selective recently and so far I've received no complaints. However, if I skip a song that you want to hear my thoughts on, feel free to let me know. I'll occasionally mix things up depending on the week, like throwing in a notable re-entry into the rising songs section, but generally this is what I go with. Most of the data I give you comes from Billboard.com, usually Gary Trust's weekly article. If I pull from elsewhere, I'll generally let you know. With all of that out of the way, let's dive in and see what this week has to offer!

Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:

1- "7 Rings" - Ariana Grande (=) -- It's been seven weeks for "7 rings" at No. 1. If this was the song's final week at the top, that would be rather poetic, but for some reason I don't think that's going to happen. The song isn't rising much higher in overall points, but it's also not falling to fast. It rose 3 percent on radio, fell 1 percent on streaming and fell 12 percent on sales. So in a slow week it's maintained enough consistency across the board and as long as there's no other song stepping up to the plate, Ariana will remain camped out here on top. Also, I did get a complaint about that "7 rings" music video that I've been using as the preview cover for this post. I typically use the music video for the top song of the week for that preview and I didn't think much of it with Ariana's video, especially since it's not that bad when it comes to Ariana standards. Sexily staring into the camera while making sexy poses is kinda her thing. She's obsessed with how attractive she is, and she loves using that sex appeal to sell her music and get views on her videos, which I roll my eyes at. But even though I didn't think it was that bad, I switched it to the audio video instead. If anyone else ever has any problems with the music videos I post for this blog, just let me know.

2- "Without Me" - Halsey (+1) -- Halsey and Post Malone continue to play this back and forth game with their songs. This week Halsey is ahead. Who knows, next week it might be Post Malone again. But at this point I don't think either of them are going to make a return to the top, unless the floor collapses on Ariana. 

3- "Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse)" - Post Malone & Swae Lee (-1) -- See previous comment. In terms of overall points on my personal Excel sheet, Halsey remains ahead of Post Malone on the yearly chart for 2019. I'm fine with both of these songs sticking around. Sure, I would love change, but in this case that would probably not be a good thing given the other songs around it at the moment. 

4- "Wow." - Post Malone (+1) -- For a second straight week, Post Malone has two songs in the top five. I don't mind "Sunflower," but "Wow." is the song that needs to burn and die. It got a remix with two additional thugs and also had a music video release. So I suppose I'm glad that both of those combined didn't get this any higher. But if this could just drop back down, that would make me happy.

5- "Please Me" - Cardi B & Bruno Mars (-1) -- Cardi and Bruno aren't quite going in the right direction of they're wanting to sneak ahead of the songs above them. In terms of pure timing, this song should rise up to No. 1 since "7 rings," "Without Me" and "Sunflower" have been around for a while and "Please Me" is fairly new. But it's not looking like it has a whole ton of traction here, which I'm fine with. 

6- "Happier" - Marshmello & Bastille (+1) -- Again, I am continued to be surprised by the staying power of this song. It rose back up to No. 6? That's crazy! I need to start keeping track of how many weeks it's been in the top 10 because I'm sure that number is getting pretty high and it looks like it has the staying power to stick around for, like, forever. 

7- "Shallow" - Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper (+2) -- Another surprise here, but I am thrilled to see "Shallow" jumping up two spots. I assumed it was going to start fading away after the Oscar boost several weeks ago, but a surge on radio is keeping this around. That's fantastic! Keep playing this song for as long as you want radio stations! 

8- "Sucker" - Jonas Brothers (-2) -- This is also going in the wrong direction if the Jonas Brothers want to stick around long term. It's gaining momentum on radio right now, but is it going to get enough of a radio push to have it stick around in the top 10? 

9- "Middle Child" - J. Cole (-1) -- I say this each week, but I don't mind having "Middle Child" around. I'm not going to cry too hard if it falls out, but I'd rather have this than either "Wow." or our next song "Going Bad" if we have to have a rap song in the top 10.

10- "Going Bad" - Meek Mill featuring Drake (+4) -- I'm not surprised. And I suppose if it was either "Thotiana" or "Going Bad," I suppose "Going Bad" is the slightly better pick. But hey, this song's entrance into the top 10 means that "SICKO MODE" got kicked out and fell one week shy of tying Ed Sheeran and Maroon 5 for the longest stays ever in the top 10. In fact, "SICKO MODE" fell down to No. 13 this week. So I'm going to consider this a win for this week. But don't expect that sentiment to last. 

Rising on the Hot 100:

20- "Sweet but Psycho" - Ava Max (+2) -- There were a lot of songs between Nos. 11 and 19 that rose one spot, but since my rules are to only include a song if it rises two spots between Nos. 11 and 20, I'm happy to be putting "Sweet but Psycho" as my top riser this week! I'm glad that this song has cracked the top 20 and looks to be having enough consistency on the charts to at least stick around. Now if it can continue to go higher, I will be happy. If it eventually gets top 10, that'll be a huge win for me! But at least I can celebrate that it's now top 20!

32- "Old Town Road" - Lil Nas X (+19) -- OK, I give in. I avoided this song for two weeks, but now that it's in the top 50 and looks to be a sensation, I gave it a chance. And, well, this is weird. It's a country rap song. Lil Nas X is doing flexing like you're typical rap song, but he's rapping slowly with a deep twang and flexing about riding his horse and having a Gucci cowboy hat. He also seems rather proud of the fact that he cheated on his girl. He summarizes the whole idea of the song on verse two where he says, "My life is a movie; bull ridin' and boobies." So yeah, this is a strange combination of the things I don't like from both genres combined into one dumb song that's so shallow that it doesn't even make it to two minutes long. I don't find it particularly awful. Just weird. However, the worse thing about it is HOW it got popular. This is going to make me sound old and completely disconnected from the younger generation, but apparently there's this thing called Tik Tok that I've never heard of. You can take songs and create stupid dancing videos to them. And apparently enough people got obsessed with making dance videos to "Old Town Road" where they jump and turn into a cowboy or cowgirl that the song went crazy viral. So this is essentially one of those viral internet challenges that drive me crazy because everyone needs their 10 seconds of fame. 

34- "Pure Water" - Mustard & Migos (+6) -- Go away Migos. 

47- "Millionaire" - Chris Stapleton (+6) -- Apparently I really liked this song when I first listened to it. Then I forgot it exists. So I re-listened to it and reminded myself that it's a good country song. I'll try my best to remember this going forward because I appreciate it when good country songs do well.

48- "Con Calma" - Daddy Yankee featuring Snow (+6) -- Daddy Yankee got this song into the top 50. Is he now going to try to release a remix with an English-speaking star to push it higher? He's done that in the past, but it's actually been a while. Perhaps he'll be content with simply letting the song play as is.

49- "Put a Date on It" - Yo Gotti featuring Lil Baby (+7) -- Go away.

50- "Act Up" - City Girls (+13) -- Let's please not make these girls a thing. 

54- "Who Do You Love" - The Chainsmokers featuring 5 Seconds of Summer (+10) -- Eh. I'm fine with having this around. Apparently that's about the attitude the country is having right now as well because this is doing alright, but not great.

57- "Pure Cocaine" - Lil Baby (+15) -- Gross.

59- "Bad Liar" - Imagine Dragons (+11) -- Apparently this song is getting a push as a single. It's funny, I had a friend message me and ask me what I thought of the song because it's being played everywhere where he's at. That confused me because it wasn't even on the charts at the time. And, well, here we are. My thoughts on this are that I think this is a solid Imagine Dragons song. I don't know if it's particularly memorable, but given that I've been really disappointed with practically everything they've put out recently, it's nice to have a song of there's around where I can at least tolerate and somewhat enjoy the song.

66- "I Can't Get Enough" - benny blanco, Tainy, Selena Gomez & J Balvin (+31) -- Poor Selena is getting trapped into this mess of a Latino dance song thing. 

68- "Undrunk" - FLETCHER (+17) -- This is a positive sign. I went into this song thinking it was going to be another pointless country song. Turns out it's not even country song at all. It's a solid pop song from a new female pop singer. So yeah, if this does well I will be very happy. A huge boost this week is a great sign moving forward. 

84- "I've Been Waiting" - Lil Peep & ILoveMakonnen featuring Fall Out Boy (+12) -- No. Boycott this. Songs taking advantage of dead artists just for the sake of money should be discarded. I don't even care that it has Fall Out Boy on it. They should know better. 

New Arrivals:

55- "Numb Numb Juice" - ScHoolboy Q -- Don't care. 

62- "Sally Walker" - Iggy Azalea -- You know I actually enjoyed Iggy Azalea back in the day. "Fancy" and "Problem" were catchy songs where she showed off a lot of personality. But then she essentially fell off the face of the Earth when it comes to the music world. She was never able to replicate her success and perhaps a good part of that was her lack of quality. She quickly went from superstar to punch line. "Sally Walker" is apparently the lead-off single to her second studio album, which I'm surprised it's taken this long to put out. She released an EP last summer and several non-album singles in the past five years, but not a second album. Given her recent history, I'd be surprised if this song lasted more than a few weeks on the charts. Iggy is trying to replicate "Fancy" a bit with the beat, but she has no personality when it comes to her rapping and the content is completely void of anything. In fact, it sounds like she's trying to do her best Cardi B impression and fails miserably at that. 

96- "Slow Dancing in the Dark" - Joji -- Here's an interesting story. Joji is the stage name of George Miller, who is a Japanese singer, rapper and entertainer. I'm not an expert on all things YouTube, but he started his career as a YouTuber, most well known for his character of Filthy Frank. He also did comedy hip-hop under the name of Pink Guy. With that in mind, y'all probably know more about Filthy Frank and Pink Guy more than I do, but the Filthy Frank personality was the one who inspired PewDiePie, the most subscribed to YouTuber. Filthy Frank was also the very first person to release a "Harlem Shake" video, so yeah he kinda had a big influence on YouTube to put it lightly. But he has since retired from YouTube to focus on his music career as Joji. As Joji, he released his first studio album this past October and now "Slow Dancing in the Dark" is the first song from that album to chart, meaning he has successfully made the transition.

So that's fascinating and all, but how's the actual song? I think those who have been following this guy for years will certainly love this as there's an emotional attachment to the artist and his content. But I don't have that type of connect. I do like the imagery of slow dancing in the dark. Often when you're slow dancing with someone, it can be a romantic, intimate moment, but I've also been a part of dances where the DJ is playing the music a bit loud, so you can't have any conversations with the person you're dancing with, so you kinda just quietly dance. Even if we were to remove that element from that, dancing in the dark implies you can't see the person, so this is references a bit of an impersonal relationship that Joji is a part of. He seems to be pleading with this person, but there's not as strong of a response as he would like. So I like the lyrics and I think the music is put together well, but vocally speaking I think Joji gets a bit drowned out. He doesn't always enunciate super well. There's a bit of mumbling in certain parts and I don't know if the mixing of the song is done super well. So I don't have quite as strong of a connection to this as I would like, but I think this is a great start for Joji and I would love to see this stick around. Maybe I should go check out that album of his.