Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- "Bad and Boujee" - Migos featuring Lil Uzi Vert (+1) -- So apparently this is No. 1 because the line from the song, "Rain Drop, Drop Top," became a viral meme. I'm speechless. This is stupider than Mannequin Challenge making "Black Beatles" No. 1 for seven weeks. At least the Mannequin Challenge itself was kinda fun. Rain Drop, Drop Top makes no sense and I have no idea what it means or why it went viral. It's a weird day we live in. Please, Ed, save us all!
2- "Black Beatles" - Rae Sremmurd featuring Gucci Mane (-1) -- Well at least this isn't No. 1 anymore. Although it's an out of the frying pan, into the fire situation. Can we get a good No. 1 song, please?
3- "Closer" - The Chainsmokers featuring Halsey (+1) -- Ha ha, this made me laugh. The hunt for Bruno's record is back on the table! "Uptown Funk" was in the top 3 for 21 weeks and in the top 5 for 25 weeks. "Closer" now has 20 weeks in the top 3 and 21 weeks in the top 5. One more week at No. 3 and they're tied!
4- "Starboy" - The Weeknd featuring Daft Punk (-1) -- It is sad to see "Starboy" dropping so fast. I want this to go back to No. 1 until we get a worthy replacement. At least "I Feel it Coming" had a good rise this week.
5- "24K Magic" - Bruno Mars (=) -- And Bruno is still at No. 5.
6- "Side to Side" - Ariana Grande featuring Nicki Minaj (+1) -- I wanted this song to fall again, not rise. But at least this at No. 6 is better than "Juju on that Beat" being at No. 6. The latter thankfully dropped out of the top 10 this week to No. 11. Let's keep it that way!
7- "Don't Wanna Know" - Maroon 5 featuring Kendrick Lamar (+4) -- OK, I knew this song was coming back, but all the way up to No. 7? Why? Stupid radio and their love fest with Maroon 5. I don't think people even like Maroon 5. All the radio stations just play him anyway.
8- "Let Me Love You" - DJ Snake featuring Justin Bieber (=) -- I thought this song was going to drop out this week. But it lives to see another week in the top 10!
9- "Fake Love" - Drake (=) -- At least this didn't rise any spots this week, but can we please get rid of this?
10- "Bad Things" - Machine Gun Kelly & Camila Cabello (+3) -- Welcome back, Camila! Now let's see if this song can actually gain traction in the top 10 or if it's just going to keep bouncing in and out like this.
Rising on the Hot 100:
12- "Scars to Your Beautiful" - Alessia Cara (+3) -- Oh please let this make it into the top 10! That would make me really happy! Great song and great video!
14- "I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)" - Zayn & Taylor Swift (+8) -- And Taylor and Zayn make a good third week comeback. I think it was because of a new "Fifty Shades Darker" trailer. Oh joy...
17- "Starving" - Hailee Steinfeld & Grey featuring Zedd (+1) -- Is this song going to do anything or is just going to keep wandering around between 11 and 20? Maybe it's time to throw this to the wayside and move on. I like Zedd, but Hailee disappointed me majorly with this song. And I was rooting for her, too.
18- "Bounce Back" - Big Sean (+3) -- I've decided that there's a lot worse rap songs out there. This at least has a catchy hook even though the song itself is far from great. Just as long as we don't get any ideas and send Big Sean to the top 10 with this, I suppose I'm fine with it being in this range.
25- "I Feel it Coming" - The Weeknd featuring Daft Punk (+9) -- Do we feel this coming? Can we give The Weeknd another top 10 hit? What about a second No. 1 from the "Starboy" album? That would be cool. Then maybe he'll release "False Alarm" as an actual single after this.
31- "Love Me Now" - John Legend (+8) -- Not John Legend's best, but far from being bad. I'd be cool with this gaining more traction.
37- "Say You Won't Let Go" - James Arthur (+13) -- It looks like this might gain some good traction after all. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I'd certainly prefer this over a lot of other crap that's poisoned the Hot 100.
38- "Water Under the Bridge" - Adele (+6) -- It's slowly rising! Let's get this going a little faster! Perhaps a music video, Adele?
41- "How Far I'll Go" - Auli'i Cravalho (+8) -- How far will this go on the charts? I'm genuinely impressed with how well the "Moana" soundtrack has done on the charts.
44- "Better Man" - Little Big Town (+11) -- This is a nice little country song. I dig it.
45- "Used to This" - Future featuring Drake (+7) -- No! Anything with Future and Drake needs to burn and die. The world needs to stop making these untalented thugs a thing.
48- "Dirty Laundry" - Carrie Underwood (+6) -- Go Carrie!
50- "Too Much Sauce" - DJ ESCO featuring Future & Lil Uzi Vert (+6) -- This needs die as well. It almost made my worst songs of 2016 list. It was a strong contender.
51- "Chantaje" - Shakira featuring Maluma (+12) -- I'm down with the world having more Shakira. English or Spanish, she's fun to listen to!
55- "Make Me (Cry)" - Noah Cyrus featuring Labrinth (+22) -- Miley's little sister has potential. Just as long as she doesn't throw her life down the drain like her sister did. This song isn't bad, but it does feel like it was written by a 17-year-old, if you know what I mean. And I find the dripping sound effect really annoying. Labrinth has also done a whole heck of a lot better. Speaking of the Miley, I have been wondering where her next single or album is. She kinda disappeared from the music world. Not that I'm complaining about that, though. Just curious.
56- "HandClap" - Fitz and the Tantrums (+11) -- Oh please let this go higher! As I've said repeatedly, I want this to be the next "Shut Up and Dance." Make it so!
58- "How Far I'll Go" - Alessia Cara (+11) -- Alessia's version of this is also continuing to gain. Can this go top 50 as well?
61- "Rockabye" - Clean Bandit featuring Sean Paul & Anne-Marie (+17) -- Oh heck yes! I thought this was going to get stuck at the bottom of the charts, but a 17 spot jump up to No. 61 is promising. Now let's hope it continues to rise and doesn't peak here.
62- "iSpy" - KYLE featuring Lil Yachty (+18) -- I'm not surprised to see this jump high. I also expect to see this go a lot higher. Although I'm not super happy about it. But I also realize there's a lot worse rap songs in the world right now. Like our top 2 songs.
68- "Play that Song" - Train (+13) -- Two straight weeks of big gains for Train. Let's continue to make this song a hit! Go top 50 in the next week or two!
69- "Seein' Red" - Dustin Lynch (+10) -- I said last week that I enjoy this song. And I still do. Country songs always have a ceiling on the Hot 100, but I'd be happy to see this top the country charts.
72- "Alone" - Marshmello (+12) -- Another song that I thought was going to get stuck at the bottom. I'm still not confident that it will continue to rise, but I hope it does. I included this on my list of favorite songs from 2016!
74- "80s Mercedes" - Maren Morris (+17) -- Maren Morris reminds me of a young Taylor Swift. She's a pretty decent country pop singer and this is a nice little song.
78- "Parachute" - Chris Stapleton (+11) -- I'm not particularly in love with this song, but I know people who love it, so it's whatever. Not a bad song.
83- "Sex with Me" - Rihanna (+11) -- NO!!!!! GO AWAY!!!!!! I most recently included this on my worst songs of 2016 list, so let it disappear! Promote "Love on the Brain" and let this disgusting piece of filth die.
85- "Way Down We Go" - Kaleo (+13) -- Can this go top 10, please? It's easily the best new song of the year. Let's give 2017 something to cheer for!
88- "Shaky Shaky" - Daddy Yankee (+12) -- Still on the fence about this. As long as this doesn't get too high, I suppose I'm fine with it sticking around.
New Arrivals:
92- "Sober Saturday Night" - Chris Young featuring Vince Gill -- Meh. Boring, cliche country song. I'll pass.
93- "Beibs in the Trap" - Travis Scott -- Travis Scott is a little better than people like Drake, Future and 21 Savage, but I've still never been impressed with him and this changes nothing. Another worthless, piece of trash rap song to stain the charts.
94- "I Got You" - Bebe Rexha -- This is nothing special, but it's the best new song of the week in a very weak week of new arrivals, both in terms of quality and how high they charted. Out top new song was at No. 92. But I like Bebe Rexha's voice quite a bit and this is a decently catchy pop song. The music video is her alone in the desert seeing how many different sexy outfits and poses she can do, but eh. That's the music video. Don't judge a song by it's music video, right?
95- "The Weekend" - Brantley Gilbert -- One annoying think about The Weeknd is that he stylistically takes the second "e" out of his stage name. I mean, it totally works, but now every time I go to spell the actual word "weekend," out of habit I now always leave out that second "e" as well, then have to go back and correct myself. First world problems, I suppose. Onto the song, this is slightly more upbeat and interesting that "Sober Saturday Night," but not by a whole lot. Another bland country song.
100- "Water" - Ugly God -- Who in the fetch names himself Ugly God? Someone with a low enough IQ to also write an awful song like this. This is one of the worst songs in our young year. Boring, stupid, disgusting and way too repetitive. Mercifully short, though. This barely goes over two minutes. Because, well, he didn't have much of an idea in the first place so he didn't know where to go with this, I guess.
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