Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran & Beyonce (=) -- The first bit of good news this week is that Ed Sheeran and Beyonce have survived the typical second week drop in sales following this new remixed duet that started with Ed Sheeran just singing by himself. Given this upcoming, expected drop, I wasn't 100 percent sure if it would survive at No. 1 this week, but I'm glad it did as no one needs "rockstar" back at top. No one needs that song at all, anyways, but hey. Now I feel comfortable saying that this song is here to stay, especially since radio continues to climb and streaming is still really strong. How long will it stay at the top? Well, Ed Sheeran spent 12 weeks at No. 1 earlier this year with "Shape of You." I doubt this goes that long, but until a worthy replacement comes around, I am perfectly fine with this staying here because I think this is a really pretty song. It's probably my favorite No. 1 hit of 2017, although that's not saying much.
2- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (=) -- Streaming is still really strong, but fortunately that wasn't enough to overcome strong sales and radio from "Perfect" as "rockstar" only led in streaming this week and not by very much this week as it dropped 12 percent from last week to 43.9 million U.S. streams whereas the streaming for "Perfect" was at 39.7 million U.S. streams this week. "Perfect" destroyed "rockstar" in the other two categories so it's not worth even bringing up. The reign for "rockstar" has officially ended at eight weeks, which was eight weeks too long, in my opinion. Now lets stop streaming this altogether so it can drop out of the top 10 already.
3- "Havana" - Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug (=) -- It would really be nice if Camila could at least jump past "rockstar" and get to No. 2. I would like it if our top two songs were "Perfect" and "Havana." That would be nice. "Havana" does top the radio charts for a second straight week with 132 million in radio audience, but "Perfect" is quickly coming for that mark as well as it has 117 million in radio audience.
4- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (=) -- Look, I'm glad this has now gotten stuck at No. 4. But can we please send it away completely? Like seriously. What appeal does it have listening to the words "Gucci Gang" get repeated over and over while throwing in cliche rapper stuff like drugs, girls and money? Why have so many people fallen in love with such a stupid song? Let's get rid of this garbage.
5- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (=) -- Isn't about time for Imagine Dragons to get bumped from the top five already? It's here because the top five got completely stuck this week. Now we need more life on the charts so we can shake this up and get some actual quality songs in here. Or at the least more tolerable songs.
6- "MotorSport" - Migos, Nicki Minaj & Cardi B (+9) -- I'm not one bit surprised that this made it into the top 10. In fact, I'm more surprised that a song with Migos, Nicki and Cardi took this long to get here. The major jump this week comes because of the music video that they finally released. I'm sure that's a masterpiece. The fact that this got boosted by a music video gives me hope that it will fall again next week because I would be annoyed if this managed to sneak into that top five rotation. That's what you would call jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.
7- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (-1) -- Sam got bumped a spot thanks to Migos and their girlfriends, which is a shame. But that essentially means that this was even compared to last week, so I appreciate the continued consistency even though I would really like for this to replace one of those awful songs in the top five right now.
8- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (=) -- Halsey managed to jump ahead of G-Eazy and friends, but got jumped by Migos and girlfriends, so she stays put at No. 8. I'm totally fine with that. We don't need Halsey in the top five again. She can stay in the bottom half.
9- "All I Want for Christmas Is You" - Mariah Carey (+2) -- This here is the story of the week! This modern Christmas classic was released on Mariah's album back in 1994 and first hit the Hot 100 in 2000 not long after Billboard allowed album cuts in December 1998, meaning this song wasn't even eligible till then. It has returned to the charts every year around Christmas since streaming was implemented into Billboard's formula in 2012 and now in 2017 the song has completed its 23 year journey to the top 10. And I couldn't be happier! You can go read Billboard's weekly article from Gary Trust about the history of Christmas songs in the top 10, but the short story is that they don't show up in the top 10 very often and this song is the first song ever to hit the top 10 with the word "Christmas" in the song title. That's a pretty significant mark! As far as Mariah goes, she has now tied Stevie Wonder for fifth most Hot 100 top 10 entries with 28, behind only Madonna (38), The Beatles (34), Rihanna (31) and Michael Jackson (29). And since her previous top 10 entry was in 2009, she also now joins 11 other acts who have had top 10 entries in the 90's, 00's and 10's. Only Michael Jackson and Madonna go back further as Michael started in the 70's with Madonna in the 80's. What an achievement! Now let's see if we can get it even higher next week!
10- "No Limit" - G-Eazy featuring A$AP Rocky & Cardi B (-3) -- I'm really happy to see this song fall down to No. 10. It never really deserved to be here. We also saw the loss of "Bodak Yellow" from the top 10, so that's another great achievement!
Rising on the Hot 100:
14- "New Rules" - Dua Lipa (+3) -- I'm glad to see this song back up to No. 14 after slipping last week. Now let's see if it can actually get over the hump and sail into the top 10. Dua Lipa deserves that honor, so let's make it happen America!
16- "Let You Down" - NF (+6) -- This song continues to be a pleasant surprise on the charts. Who would've thought that a Christian rapper could get this high on the charts? I hope that this starts a new trend on the Billboard charts because I actually appreciate Christian rap. Better to rap about Christianity and religion than sex, money and drugs, like most rap songs these days.
19- "I Fall Apart" - Post Malone (+4) -- Let's not make this one a hit, please? Post Malone needs to go away and stay in 2017. He's a lifeless, boring rapper who doesn't deserve any fame, thus I am confused as to why the music gods chose him to be a superstar.
24- "The Way Life Goes" - Lil Uzi Vert featuring Nicki Minaj (+5) -- We also don't need anymore Lil Uzi Vert. No one is going to remember this guy five years from now, so it would be nice if we can send him on his way sooner rather than later.
34- "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" - Brenda Lee (+3) -- Technically I'm breaking my rules here. Between No. 21 and No. 50, my standard is that a song needs to jump five spots for me to include it in this section. While we're at it, I've decided that a song needs to jump two spots between No. 11 and No. 20 and at least 10 spots from No. 51 and below. But I wanted to keep track of how our Christmas songs are doing this year, so I made an exception. This Brenda Lee classic has always been a fun one for me. With a lot of slower, melodic Christmas songs, it's nice to have an upbeat one.
35- "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" - Andy Williams (+10) -- Andy Williams wins the award for the Christmas song that jumped the most this week. Well deserved. This really is the most wonderful time of the year. Minus the cold weather, of course.
37- "...Ready for It?" - Taylor Swift (+6) -- Taylor Swift somehow recovered a bit this week. "Look What You Made Me Do" also jumped up a couple of spots in the 70's. We'll see if this is just a one week thing or if "...Ready for It?" can actually gain traction. If you would've told me four months ago when Taylor first showed up that her songs would be gone by the end of the year, I would've called you crazy. This is Taylor Swift. Maybe if she decides to release some of the better songs from the album, she might be able to salvage something here. Like "New Year's Day."
38- "The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas You)" - Nat King Cole (+4) -- Isn't it just great for me to be writing Nat King Cole's name on this list? And since my next Billboard Analysis post will be after Christmas, Merry Christmas to all of my readers!
41- "A Holly Jolly Christmas" - Burl Ives (+6) -- And now excuse me while I go watch the animated stop-motion Rudolph movie. And I'll probably have this song stuck in my head all week afterwards because this is such a fun Christmas song.
44- "Last Christmas" - Wham! (re-entry) -- Again, I'm breaking my rules here because I usually don't bring up re-entries. But I had to here. It's George Michael! May he rest in peace, of course. This song, though, isn't necessarily a universally loved Christmas song as it's more of an angry break-up song around Christmas that feels kinda angsty. But I don't know. It's George Michael! He carries the song very well as he just has a special charisma to him. People who cover this song? That's a different story. It's kinda like "Santa Baby." The original is just fine, but the many covers aren't that great.
50- "Kooda" - 6ix9ine (+11) -- I'm going to go back to singing my Christmas songs and pretend that we didn't let this song by a sex offender that sounds like he's bragging about gang rape and murder into the top 50. At least his other song, "Gummo" stalled out a bit this week just below the top 10. But let's please get both of these songs out of here. I suppose I can see the appeal for this style of angry rap, but to me this shows that people who love sometimes just don't listen to the lyrics otherwise I'm guessing they wouldn't listen to this. Either that or we have millions of crazy psychopaths pushing songs up the charts via streaming. I'm going to pretend that's not the case.
New Arrivals:
61- "Never Be the Same" - Camila Cabello -- I'm really rooting for Camila to succeed, as you can tell by me wanting "Havana" to jump ahead of "rockstar" for the past two months or so. I think she has a very likable presence and has the potential to be a great pop star. Her solo stuff is definitely much better than her Fifth Harmony stuff and this here will be the first track on her upcoming debut solo album, which I'm intrigued. I would just really like it if Camila could find a bit of consistency with her writing, because when she's on, she's on. When she's not on, she's a bit boring. "Never Be the Same" uses the extremely overused idea of love being a drug as Camila sings about this guy being like nicotine, heroin or morphine. And she mumbles a bit through her first verse and pre-chorus as if she recorded this song a few seconds after waking up, but when she gets to the chorus that's when this female pop star version of Camila shows up that I really like. And she infuses a bit of electro-pop in with it to give it a slightly more unique flavor than her other songs, so this is a decent song that I'd be willing to root for. But I'm waiting for Camila to deliver something great and she yet done that.
67- "Go Legend" - Big Sean & Metro Boomin featuring Travis Scott -- Big Sean released an album earlier this year that I didn't completely hate. I only covered the songs that showed up on the Hot 100 and some of the were tolerable. But I really don't like it when we get two albums in one year because it tells me that an artist, usually a rapper in this instance, isn't putting much thought into quality and is just focusing on quantity. This is the second collaborative album that I've seen with Metro Boomin recently, so I suppose that's the cool thing right now. With this album, we certainly didn't get off to a good start a month or so ago when the song "Pull Up N Wreck" dropped. And, well, this song starts off good, but only because it samples Diana Ross' 1976 hit "Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To)." Diana asks that question in the title and after that quick intro, we rather jarringly jump into this boring rap song where Big Sean and Travis Scott are just saying they go legend. Because, you know, rappers don't use grammar. Which is whatever. But then Big Sean starts comparing himself to Michael Jackson and Prince and I'm like, nope. Big Sean is no legend and this song has no depth or not much of anything outside random phrases and references. It feels very lazy and rushed, thus I'm not compelled to listen to anymore of this collaborative album.
72- "Dark Knight Dummo" - Trippie Redd featuring Travis Scott -- I keep on hearing about this Trippie Redd kid from looking up songs from these other awful rappers from 2017, but this is the first time he's shown up as a main act. He previously played a featured role in one of XXXTENTACION's sort of songs that the world has already forgotten about. And this? Well, I am calling this a complete mystery. It sounds like Trippie Redd recorded this with a giant jawbreaker in his mouth. The song makes it seem like it's going to reference Batman somehow with Dark Knight being in the title, but the only superhero referenced is Mr. Fantastic from the Fantastic Four. And Dummo? What is that? Some sort of diss track against 6ix9ine's "Gummo"? But how it is beats me. I read that title and have no clue what the song is going to be about and then I read the lyrics and am even more confused because none of it makes sense. And in addition to Trippie sounding like he recorded this while sucking on a jawbreaker, he also sounds drunk or in the midst of a hangover. But that's rap music in 2017 for you. This was so bad that I almost felt relieved when Travis Scott came in.
77- "My Dawg" - Lil Baby -- Verified commentary from Lil Baby on Genius, "I don't have a writing process. I just go in the booth and say something and leave." Well that makes sense as to why this song makes no sense. Lil Baby didn't even try. And for some reason I feel he's not the only one. So if he didn't even try and the song sounds like he didn't even try, why should I give this the time of day. It sucks. Let's move on. And by the way, who in the frack is Lil Baby? Make him go away!
82- "Danger" - Migos & Marshmello -- Do you know what this song reminded me of? It reminded me of the times on Thanksgiving where I see this dish covered in marshmallows and I want to eat it, but then discover it's sweet potatoes or yams and I want to barf instead because those are disgusting and a waste of perfectly good marshmallows. Then I talk to everyone else and they all love it. I don't understand. Yams are terrible. And so are Migos. I don't see the appeal. And not even Marshmello EDM magic can fix the fact that this is still Migos. I will say, though, this is a slightly less annoying take from Migos, but I think that's the case because this is a soundtrack song from the movie "Bright," which will debut on Netflix in two days. They probably had leashes on their necks to make it so they couldn't go completely off the rails as this had to be a bit user friendly. But despite it being less annoying, the issue with these things called lyrics still exists. I never know what Migos are talking about. I'm convinced that they have a random phrase generator in their studio because none of their lyrics ever connect or make any sense. They're just words and that's the same thing here.
86- "Untouchable" - Eminem -- Eminem dropped his new album "Revival" recently and I have big plans on diving into it to see what Eminem has in store because I really liked the first track from the album "Walk on Water," and the album has 19 tracks, so I feel like I'll at least be able to find some great Eminem stuff somewhere on the album, even though the length of the album does concern me. But I'll get to that later. "Untouchable" is a very typical Eminem song in that he pulls a lot of punches and doesn't hold back. I really appreciate Eminem as a rapper because he raps about what he cares about instead of boringly mumbling about drugs, sex and money like 95 percent of current rappers that plague the charts today. "Untouchable" is about racial injustices in America with police violence. With that in mind, you probably have an idea of exactly what this song is about and you're right. Eminem fires away and gets rather vicious, which I appreciate. Although his specific structure with this song is a bit jarring. The first two short verses he's rapping from the perspective of the racist cops, showing how incredibly stupid and unjust they are, they switches gears and spends the third verse from the perspective of the blacks as well as Eminem as a white dude who is embarrassed to be white and is upset with the current political environment. But that third verse is half of the song, thus while the content is passionate and fiery, the flow and pacing of the song isn't quite as sharp as other Eminem songs. But it does make me curious to see what else he has in store on "Revival."
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