Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- "Circles" - Post Malone (+4) -- While some music critics and other Grinches on the internet are overjoyed with the departure of all of the Christmas music on the charts, I for one am really depressed that things have to go back to the status quo. I always love the Christmas-powered Hot 100 during the holiday season. It brings a welcome breath of fresh of air. But unfortunately the holiday season is over and the Hot 100 is all sorts of wonky this week, which is why I'm going to go through this real fast. Much to my surprise, "Circles" returns to No. 1 after a four-week interruption. Through this process it wasn't really that strong, but was consistent enough across the board to maintain its position. This week it holds steady on the radio while soaring in both sales and streaming, although the latter two are a bit of an anomaly as most songs surged in sales and streaming due to a combination of Christmas songs disappearing as well as holiday music gift cards and end-of-year playlists all contributing to the chaos. Things will settle down here in the next week or so and then we can examine closer.
2- "Memories" - Maroon 5 (+7) -- I had a feeling that "Memories" was going to survive the holiday chaos, but I didn't quite expect it to shoot all the way up to No. 2 given that it was at No. 9 last week. I expected it to be at No. 4 or No. 5. But hey, I'm actually not complaining here. There's two other rap songs in the top five right now and if "Memories" can block both of them from going No. 1, that's a huge win in my book.
3- "The Box" - Roddy Ricch (+10) -- The hip-hop world is absolutely obsessed with this song, so in the aftermath of all the holiday stuff, I'm not at all surprised to see this soar right into the top five. I suppose it's not the most offensive thing on Earth, so I won't complain too much at its existence. But it still has all the hip-hop tropes included that drive me crazy, so don't expect me to celebrate if it continues to surge high. At the best, this is a factory-produced hip-hop song that the world will forget existed in a year or two, like most of the rest of them that charts these days. Lucky for me, this is currently powered purely by streaming as its radio and sales numbers are currently quite miserable. Songs boosted up by streaming alone only last so long and won't hold up in the long term against songs like "Circles" and "Memories."
4- "Someone You Loved" - Lewis Capaldi (+4) -- I don't know how much longer this song is going to be around, but for now it swings back up into the top five after getting bullied a bit by holiday music. If there's no serious competition, this might still hang around for a while.
5- "Roxanne" - Arizona Zervas (+1) -- The great news this week is that I thought "Roxanne" was going to be the song to jump to No. 1 following the disappearance of the Christmas music. But while every other song in the top 10 this week jumped at least four spaces, this only jumps up one spot. That means it had a really bad week. As I mentioned with "The Box," songs boosted solely on streaming are built on a very weak foundation and only last so long. Hopefully this is a sign that "Roxanne" won't last a whole lot longer in the top 10.
6- "Good as Hell" - Lizzo (+4) -- Another song that I don't think will be around for too much longer. But last week it was on the verge of getting kicked out, so it has a few more weeks to breathe.
7- "Dance Monkey" - Tones and I (+7) -- This NEEDS to become a hit in 2020. The one silver lining with the holiday songs disappearing is that the door has been left wide open for "Dance Monkey" to finally dominate. I just hope it actually continues its momentum. At the very least I think it has the potential to quickly slip ahead of the three songs immediately in front of it.
8- "HIGHEST IN THE ROOM" - Travis Scott (+30) -- Travis Scott has a new album out this week. That's why this song jumped up 30 spots. It'll be gone next week, though.
9- "10,000 Hours" - Dan + Shay & Justin Bieber (+8) -- The last time this song was in the top 10, and I'm not sure which week that was, I mentioned that it's most likely going to continue to yo-yo up and down depending on the strength of the top 10. The song has already hit its ceiling, but it's pretty consistent still, meaning that it'll continue to show up every once in a while for the next month or so. At the very least, this will probably hang out in the teens for the next month or so.
10- "Lose You to Love Me" - Selena Gomez (+8) -- I don't know why I was surprised to see Selena back in the top 10 this week, but it was a pleasant surprise. I just don't know what the overall strength of this song is. I hope it is able to maintain traction and become a staple in the top 10, but I genuinely have no idea if it will or not.
Rising on the Hot 100:
11- "Señorita" - Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello (+15) -- With 25 Christmas song evaporating, combined with end-of-year playlists and holiday music purchasing, nearly the entire Hot 100 showed up in this section. That means I'm going to fly through this really quickly since it took long enough to type this whole thing up. I let you look at the number of spots each song jumped up. If it rose 20 spots or more, it's actually rising. If it's an old song (like this one), the rise is only for this week and maybe for whenever the Grammys happen. Anything outside that is most likely the Hot 100 just resetting itself. We'll find out together next week what songs are actually rising.
12- "Ballin'" - Mustard featuring Roddy Ricch (+7) -- Don't care.
13- "BOP" - DaBaby (+7) -- Go away.
14- "bad guy" - Billie Eilish (+9) -- Temporary rise.
15- "Old Town Road" - Lil Nas X featuring Bill Ray Cyrus (+19) -- Temporary rise.
16- "No Guidance" - Chris Brown featuring Drake (+9) -- Go away.
17- "Panini" - Lil Nas X (+13) -- Go away.
18- "Truth Hurts" - Lizzo (+17) -- This has lived out its life. We have "Good as Hell" in its place.
19- "Trampoline" - SHAED (+27) -- I want this to make a reappearance.
20- "Heartless" - The Weeknd (+19) -- Don't care. His other song is better.
21- "Don't Start Now" - Dua Lipa (+31) -- This is one of our real risers. And that's great news.
22- "Bandit" - Juice WRLD & YoungBoy Never Broke Again (+5) -- Go away.
23- "everything i wanted" - Billie Eilish (+18) -- I hope this somehow sticks around.
24- "Hot" - Young Thug featuring Gunna (+9) - Go away.
26- "One Man Road" - Old Dominion (+28) -- Don't care.
27- "Woah" - Lil Baby (+20) -- Go away.
30- "Even Though I'm Falling" - Luke Combs (+29) -- I'll get back to you on this one.
31- "Falling" - Trevor Daniel (+20) -- Go away.
32- "Hot Girl Bummer" - blackbear (+23) -- Why is this still a thing?
33- "Ran$om" - Lil Tecca (+17) -- Temporary rise.
34- "Lover" - Taylor Swift (+23) -- Temporary rise. Most likely.
35- "Adore You" - Harry Styles (+18) -- We'll see what this does in future weeks.
36- "The Bones" - Maren Morris (+28) -- Go Maren Morris!
37- "Graveyard" - Halsey (+24) -- I don't know what this song is going to do.
39- "On Chill" - Wale featuring Jeremih (+19) -- Go away.
41- "Suicidal" - YNW Melly (+15) -- Go away fast!
45- "Juicy" - Doja Cat & Tyga (+18) -- Gross.
46- "No Idea" - Don Toliver (+14) -- No idea why people care.
49- "What If I Never Get Over You" - Lady Antebellum (+22) -- Make this a country hit.
50- "My Oh My" - Camila Cabello featuring DaBaby (+12) -- A no from me.
51- "Ridin' Roads" - Dustin Lynch (+22) -- I'll get back to you on this.
53- "Heat" - Chris Brown featuring Gunna (+13) -- Chris Brown needs to disappear.
54- "Playing Games" - Summer Walker (+11) -- Temporary rise.
55- "Into the Unknown" - Idina Menzel & AURORA (+12) -- I don't mind this hanging around.
57- "VIBEZ" - DaBaby (+11) -- Go away. Make DaBaby a thing of the past.
58- "Heartache Medication" - Jon Pardi (+17) -- I'll get back to you on this.
59- "Blinding Lights" - The Weeknd (+13) -- Why is this not the big song from The Weeknd?
60- "Kinfolks" - Sam Hunt (+20) -- Boo!
61- "Remember You Young" - Thomas Rhett (+21) -- I'll get back to you on this.
63- "Take What You Want" - Post Malone featuring Ozzy Osbourne & Travis Scott (+14) -- This has a surprising amount of staying power.
64- "Homesick" - Kane Brown (+24) -- Go away.
66- "RITMO (Bad Boys for Life)" - The Black Eyed Peas & J Balvin (+20) -- The movie comes out this month, so this could do well for a few weeks.
67- "Leave Em Alone" - Layton Greene, Lil Baby, City Girls & PnB Rock (+11) -- Gross.
72- "South of the Border" - Ed Sheeran featuring Camila Cabello & Cardi B (+28) -- Is this going to be a thing?
73- "Slide" - H.E.R. featuring YG (+12) -- Nope.
75- "Nice to Meet Ya" - Niall Horan (+18) -- Please make this go higher!
76- "Tusa" - Karol G & Nicki Minaj (+22) -- Go away.
79- "Easy" - DaniLeigh featuring Chris Brown (+11) -- Chris Brown's career needs to end.
81- "BEST ON EARTH" - Russ & BIA (+16) -- WHY THE CAPS LOCK?
85- "Enemies" - Post Malone featuring DaBaby (+14) -- I forget what I think of this one.
New Arrivals:
38- "OUT WEST" - JACKBOYS featuring Young Thug -- JACKBOYS is Travis Scott, in case you were curious. The album, also titled "JACKBOYS," is a compilation album by Travis Scott and his record label, Cactus Jack Records. Why he's calling himself JACKBOYS instead of Travis Scott is beyond me. This occasionally happens in the hip-hop world and it's one of the many things that I don't understand. Four songs from this seven-track album charted this week and I'm not going to touch a single one, especially because the world is going to forget this existed come February.
48- "GANG GANG" - JACKBOYS & Sheck Wes -- I'm not covering the JACKBOYS album.
52- "HAD ENOUGH" - Don Toliver featuring Quavo & Offset -- Why was Takeoff not invited to this party? And why have we decided to make Don Toliver a thing?
56- "WHAT TO DO" - JACKBOYS featuring Don Toliver -- I'm not covering the JACKBOYS album.
69- "GATTI" - JACKBOYS, Pop Smoke & Travis Scott -- I'm not covering the JACKBOYS album.
70- "High Fashion" - Roddy Ricch featuring Mustard -- I don't care about Roddy Ricch. Sorry.
74- "I Hope" - Gabby Barrett -- Did you know "American Idol" is still going on? Yeah, Gabby Barrett placed third during season 16. Next month they will begin season 18. But not that any of that matters. The winner of the last three seasons hasn't even been able to chart a single song on the Hot 11 and it's been since Phillip Phillips in season 11 where the winner has become a star. That's why I was a bit surprised when I looked up Gabby Barrett and learned that she was from "American Idol." I used to be a huge loyalist to "American Idol," but season 10 made me so upset that I haven't watched since. In regards to Gabby Barrett, she does sound like a bit of a Carrie Underwood wannabe. But maybe that's because this song, wherein the lyrics go, "I hope he cheats" reminds me a lot of "Before He Cheats" by Carrie. The person Gabby reminded me of was Miley Cyrus with her country album. No, Gabby isn't as good as either of them. And "Before He Cheats" is miles better than "I Hope." But there's certainly a lot worse around than a B-version of Carrie Underwood. The song is in the right lane of country pop to make me satisfied. I could be like Simon Cowell and be super critical of this or I could kick back and relax and realize that this is still way better than most of the stuff on the country charts these days. I'd be happy making Gabby a thing.
84- "Make Me Want To" - Jimmie Allen -- Speaking of inferior country songs, here's one quick example. Granted, Jimmie Allen has more personality than a lot of country artists and I may even enjoyed one of his previous songs. But this is an example of an over-powered country song where the heavy beat doesn't match the tone of the lyrics, which are pretty generic in the first place.
88- "More Hearts Than Mine" - Ingrid Andress -- It's a country week on the charts with our new arrivals. And unlike the previous two, I have no idea where Ingrid Andress comes from. This is her first charting song and the internet doesn't tell me a whole lot about her. But I certainly like what I hear. This is a song that I think technically qualifies as country, but it's a lot more restrained as Ingrid focuses more on her vocal performance and delivering the message she wants to get across rather than some over-produced piece of nonsense coming straight from country pipeline. Granted, the lyrics here aren't necessarily anything super unique, but it's the approach here to the song that I really like. Whereas a lot of country songs feel like no effort was put into it, Ingrid sounds like she actually cares and has a voice that I really like. Granted, I'm a lot more forgiving towards me female country girls, but still. This stands out from the crowd and makes me want to hear more.
90- "I Wish Grandpas Never Died" - Riley Green -- In looking through all the new songs this week, I thought this song was going to be the highlight. By the title alone, it sounded like a country song that was going to cut deep and talk about something that meant something to the artists. The positive thing here is that the music isn't overpowered and Riley sounds like he cares as he gives a decent delivery. But the lyrics are just so disappointing as the song is him listing off a bunch of things that he wishes, few of which actually connect and most of which are silly. And he doesn't say the lyrics, "I wish grandpas never died" until halfway through the song. And at no point before or after does he give an emotional tribute to a grandpa. He just tacks the line on along with him wishing other random things. An unfortunate missed opportunity.
99- "Slow Dance in a Parking Lot" - Jordan Davis -- Somewhere on the charts is the song "Slow Dancing in the Dark" by Joji. In fact, I think it's one of the songs that didn't rise high enough to be included. But now we have this to team up with that as we have a multiple choice as to where we're going to dance. And with this particular song in mind, a parking lot is not going to be my personal choice since this song isn't even appropriate for a slow dance at all. Jordan Davis has a decent voice and a softer tone, but in come the heavy drums and guitars, making this song another generically-produced country song where the music doesn't care to fit the tone of what the song should be. And he's specifically talking about a Walmart parking lot in this song. I don't know if Jordan has ever been to a Walmart parking lot, but that's a parking lot that's never quiet enough to go slow dancing in. So this is yet another song that misses out on an opportunity to do something good as I think this should've been more restrained and romantic rather than being what it is.
100- "July" - Noah Cyrus featuring Leon Bridges -- In a very busy week where nearly every song on this chart made it onto my post, Miley's less talented little sister somehow snuck onto the very end. I will give Noah credit for having a decent voice. And the song is decently restrained with a simple guitar strum and some whistling. But if we're going to keep trying to make her a thing, I would love it if she would take some lessons from her older sister on how to be an interesting singer and songwriter. Because, in an attempt to be slow and restrained, this song accidentally leaves all personality by the wayside and ends up being boring and lifeless. The lyrics are uninspired and the song itself is not constructed very well. If Noah wasn't a Cyrus, I don't think she would've ever had a music career.
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