With the year 2017 coming to a close and the Billboard calendar having ended last week, it's that time of year to dive into the end of year lists. Last week I revealed the top 10 most popular songs of 2017 based on my own personal system of following the Billboard charts. This week I reveal to you my personal favorite songs of 2017. There's no real science to this. I didn't do a deep examination of how well constructed the songs are musically or how well written the songs are lyrically in order to create this list. These are simply the songs I enjoyed most or the songs that made the biggest impact on me emotionally. The only two requirements I have for this list is that each song had to debut on the Billboard Hot 100 during the calendar year of 2017 and it had to be a fairly recent song. I don't have a set in stone cut-off date for the latter, but I simply say within reason. "Felix Navidad" by Jose Feliciano, "A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives, "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" by Andy Williams and "Last Christmas" by Wham! all debuted on the charts this year. But I considered them too old to qualify, so I didn't include them. Most of the rest were fair game in my book, though. Since there were a lot of good songs to pick from, you can call these the best of the best.
10- "Human" - Rag'n'Bone Man
9- "Green Light" - Lorde
8- "It Ain't My Fault" - Brothers Osborne
7- "It Ain't Me" - Kygo & Selena Gomez
6- "Praying" - Kesha
5- "Malibu" - Miley Cyrus
4- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith
3- "Supermarket Flowers" - Ed Sheeran
2- "Castle on the Hill" - Ed Sheeran
1- "Liability" - Lorde
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - January 3, 2018
The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to switch things up in the future, but for now this is what I'm sticking with. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!
1- "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran & Beyonce (=) -- We're starting 2018 off on the right foot. At least at the top spot of the charts with Ed Sheeran and Beyonce repeating at No. 1 for their third week. And yes, this Billboard week is dated Wednesday, January 3. That's because this is the week where Billboard is transitioning to the correct week instead of being a week ahead. Next week's charts will be dated Saturday, January 6 and from then on the chart will be dated the Saturday following the release of the charts instead of the Saturday of the week after. It makes sense that Billboard would fix that. I'm surprised they didn't do it earlier. Back to "Perfect," the song is now cemented in at that top spot as it is in the lead on streaming, sales and is about to take over on radio. Aiding its numbers even further this week is yet another version of the song titled "Perfect Symphony" with Ed Sheeran and Andrea Bocelli. I'm not sure if Andrea Bocelli is going to be given credit along with Beyonce moving forward, but he should if his version is contributing to the total. They can title it "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran and Beyonce or Andrea Bocelli. That would give Andrea Bocelli his first ever Hot 100 entry in the U.S. His albums have always sold well and he's charted singles over in Europe, but not in the U.S. It'd be cool if we gave him one.
As far as that third version of the song goes, I'm not sure it works as well in context. The original version is Ed Sheeran singing to his girl. "Perfect Duet" is Ed Sheeran and Beyonce singing to each other. "Perfect Symphony" is Ed Sheeran and Andrea Bocelli each singing to their own girls, I think? They're certainly not singing to each other as both specifically address a female at the beginning and it would be weird if we had two guys singing to the same girl. Thus we are doing this "Glee" style with multiple voices taking turns singing the same song when multiple voices aren't needed. I've never been a fan of that style. But man, Andrea Bocelli has such a beautiful voice that in the end it really doesn't matter if the context of the song makes sense. And he, of course, is singing in Italian, which makes it even prettier. Then Ed Sheeran joins him in Italian for the final verse, which is a nice touch that Ed does a good job with.
2- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (=) -- The rest of the top 10 is fairly boring as we kind of got stuck in a holiday rut with our current top 10, especially with our current top five. Post Malone unfortunately hangs on to his No. 2 spot. Even though Ed Sheeran passed him on streaming, the streaming for "rockstar" essentially remained the same, meaning I don't think Camila is going to be able to pass him.
3- "Havana" - Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug (=) -- Even though Camila is still stuck behind "rockstar" and it doesn't look like she'll be able to pass it, she does celebrate her third week on top of the radio charts, although Ed Sheeran is quickly coming for that crown as well as Camila has 135 million in total radio audience while Ed Sheeran has 125 million with Ed rising faster as Camila has peaked.
4- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (=) -- This is the most frustrating song to get stuck in the top five. I really want the streaming here to die already because that's the only reason this is here. But at least I can celebrate the fact that this didn't go No. 1.
5- "No Limit" - G-Eazy featuring A$AP Rocky & Cardi B (+5) -- OK, I'm happy that Imagine Dragons got booted from the top five, but I'm not sure we got an improvement with this pile of horse manure replacing it. Luckily it's jump this week was due to the release of the music video, meaning it has the potential to fall back out of the top five next week.
6- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (-1) -- That means "Thunder" might go back to the top five next week? That would be unfortunate. We really need a song that's tolerable to start gaining more momentum.
7- "MotorSport" - Migos, Nicki Minaj & Cardi B (-1) -- It's fortunate that this song also dropped a spot after the release of the music video. If this would just stay here in the bottom half of the top 10 that would be great.
8- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (-1) -- It's kind of sad seeing Sam slowly drop off. With most of the songs ahead of it being trash (minus "Perfect" and "Havana"), it would've been nice if this was the song that gained more momentum and at least camped out in the top five. But oh well. At least it gained some traction.
9- "All I Want for Christmas is You" - Mariah Carey (=) -- I was really wanting this song to get a bit higher following its historic week last week, finally breaking the top 10 after 23 years of existence, becoming the first Christmas song in quite some time to make it into the region. But at least we got to see this in the top 10 for a couple of weeks and I hope to see it back next Christmas. With Christmas being officially over, all these holiday songs are going to start dropping out either next week or the week after.
10- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (-2) -- It's nice to see Halsey hiccup and nearly fall out. We didn't need this song to become a major hit. Reaching the top 10 was bad enough. Hopefully it manages to stay down. I don't really want this song to recover.
15- "Him & I" - G-Eazy & Halsey (+11) -- Although I'm not sure which Halsey song I would prefer. Her dull take with "Bad at Love" or this dull love song with her boyfriend that doesn't manage to convince me that they're madly in love with how little chemistry they have on the song or how dull the writing of their love song is. Let's just keep both songs away. And let's also stop making G-Eazy a thing. No one cares about his dull rap.
16- "I Fall Apart" - Post Malone (+3) -- I would really like it if "rockstar" would die already and leave the top 10. I also would really like it if it WASN'T replaced by this. Post Malone is someone who we should just leave in 2017 and admit to our bad mistake of making him a thing. This song is just about as uninteresting as "rockstar" as Post Malone whines and complains that he couldn't buy a girl's love with all his fame and riches. As if that's all he thinks girls care about.
26- "Plain Jane" - A$AP Ferg (+20) -- This song has a hard time sticking in my head. I have to go re-listen to it every week to even remind myself of what the heck it is. A 20-spot jump scares me because that makes me believe this is a contender to make the top 10 and we don't need yet another dull rapper to be given huge success. I don't know much about A$AP Ferg, but I don't want him around.
29- "The Weekend" - SZA (+10) -- OK, if I have to pick between G-Eazy, Post Malone, A$AP Ferg and SZA, I'll pick SZA. But it's a really bad sing for 2018 when we start of the year with four boring songs being the songs that are the ones rising on the charts.
30- "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" - Brenda Lee (+4) -- Keeping track of our Christmas songs again for probably the final week. It was fun having them around and it's always great seeing Brenda Lee's upbeat Christmas song around. I look forward to seeing it again next season!
32- "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" - Andy Williams (+3) -- The most wonderful time of the year is now over, but we can all have positive outlooks on life with the new year coming.
37- "The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You)" - Nat King Cole (+1) -- Nat King Cole jumps up a spot in the final week of Christmas tracking. I hope to see him back next year as this song is one of the better Christmas songs.
38- "A Holly Jolly Christmas" - Burl Ives (+3) -- I never did watch Rudolph this year. I forgot about that. Maybe I'll catch up on it late, just for fun.
42- "End Game" - Taylor Swift featuring Ed Sheeran & Future (+7) -- Is this song actually going to gain traction for Taylor? I hope not. 2017 was a miserable year for her new album. And although there are some songs from the album that I think she should release as singles, this is not the one I want to go anywhere. I would prefer that it died with the rest of her songs that are mostly dead now.
43- "Last Christmas" - Wham! (+1) -- I was hoping to see this song get a bit higher than No. 43, but oh well. It's not the best Christmas song, but it's good to have it around.
46- "Lemon" - N.E.R.D. & Rihanna (+12) -- If I'm not mistaken, N.E.R.D. released their new album, which I believe is what gave this song a boost. I've been expecting it to gain a lot more traction as it seems has all it needs to be a major hit, but it's been mostly M.I.A since it's release. But now that it jumped into the top 50, is it finally going to start gaining traction or will it just fall back down next week? We'll have to wait and see.
49- "Feliz Navidad" - Jose Feliciano (re-entry) -- This first debuted last Christmas season on the Billboard charts and it made me really happy to see it. It looks like it will only get one week this year, but it was good to have it back anyways.
50- "Jingle Bell Rock" - Bobby Helms (re-entry) -- I honestly can't remember if this was one of our Christmas entries last Christmas. It wasn't a new debut like "Last Christmas" and "Feliz Navidad" were as it has accumulated 20 weeks on the charts, but this is another fun, upbeat Christmas song that pairs well with "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree," so it's fun to have them both here.
63- "Marry Me" - Thomas Rhett (+29) -- I shouldn't ever be surprised when Thomas Rhett gets a huge boost on the charts. Country radio loves this guy and sometimes pop radio pick up on him, too. And I'm not really sure why as he doesn't have a lot of talent in him and in terms of songs called "Marry Me," this will never be the one that comes to my mind first even if this isn't the worst song Thomas Rhett has ever written.
80- "No Smoke" - YoungBoy Never Broke Again (+13) -- This is only at No. 80, so no need to panic yet. But YoungBoy Never Broke Again is a rapper who I'd like to keep in 2017, both because of his ridiculous name as well as his uninteresting rap songs.
11- "River" - Eminem featuring Ed Sheeran -- I still haven't listened to Eminem's album. It's on my to do list. But I saw this track on the album and was intrigued because Ed Sheeran with Eminem seems intriguing. And I thought Ed Sheeran's chorus that starts the song was an intriguing introduction. Yet when Eminem came in, I find myself more interested in hearing what Ed Sheeran would've come up with if this was his own song because Eminem's verses are quite boring. He has his rhyme schemes and flow down, but he's missing his typical fire and passion. Instead he's singing about this awkward love triangle that fails for everyone. A guy is cheating on his girl. The girl finds out and cheats on the guy with Eminem. Then Eminem gets her pregnant. The guy and Eminem then figure out what the girl is doing and they both dump her, thus making everyone miserable. The story ends with Eminem forcing the girl to get an abortion. Nope. Not buying this one. Remember in "Walk on Water" where Eminem talks about him thinking a song is great until he later hears it on the radio and realizes it's actually a piece of trash? Yup. That's what's going to happen hear. At least I hope so. Because Eminem is capable of a lot better and I hope he's smart enough to realize this song is crap so that he can come up with something better next time.
67- "Tennessee Rain" - Addison Agen -- Three of our next four songs come from the season 13 finale of "The Voice," which was won, not by Addison Agen, but by Chloe Kohanski, the girl who covered "Total Eclipse of the Heart" in the second week of the Top 12. Before this week, that was the only season 13 song that charted. In the season finale, the four finalists did a cover, a duet with their coach and an original. The three songs that charted were originals. This song from Addison won her second place, but she gets the last laugh by charting higher than Chloe. With this being my first introduction to Addison as I don't actually watch "The Voice," I can definitely see her appeal. She is easy on the eyes and easy on the ears. I really love her voice on this original song and thus I'd be fine if country radio made her a thing, even though no one from "The Voice" ever amounts to much. As far as the song goes, it's a bit empty. Her guy breaks up with her and she cries like a Tennessee rain as she doesn't know how to deal with this unhappy ending. That's it. So I'd like more depth from Addison as she moves forward with her career, but there's potential here.
69- "Wish I Didn't Love You" - Chloe Kohanski -- Now onto our actual winner, I can definitely predict that this wasn't a runaway win for Chloe just by listening to both songs. I like Addison's voice better. She has a more clear, beautiful voice that sounds more innocent while Chloe's voice is fairly unique and husky. Addison hits the higher notes better while Chloe cracks a bit when she tries to go high, but her style is more unique and her song is more interesting. Addison's song was beautifully sung, but simple and fairly empty. This song is also about Chloe being sad about a lover, but there's more complexity to the lyrics and a bit more emotion as Addison's song sounds like a teenage girl experiencing her first breakup. I like both songs, but I do think I'd give the edge to Chloe because her song is more interesting even though Addison's is better sung. I'm not sure how much content of the song is taken into consideration here. Maybe it's possible that Chloe won because of her rock-solid cover of "Bette Davis Eyes" while Addison's cover was "Humble and Kind," a song that I find kinda boring. At least when compared to "Bette Davis Eyes." As a side note, this song by Chloe did kinda remind me of Simon & Garfunkle's "El Condor Pasa (If I Could)."
82- "Ice Tray" - Quavo & Lil Yachty -- Before we get to our final charted performance from "The Voice" finale, we have to make it through this pile of garbage. Billboard lists this simply as Quavo and Lil Yachty, so I'm sticking with that instead of adding Quality Control like Apple Music does as this is an album released by Quality Control. Who or what is Quality Control? That's Migos' record label. Record labels don't need to be credited on songs. That's dumb. What's also dumb is this song. If you like Migos, maybe you'll like this as it's not the most offensive Migos song. I just find it boring as Quavo and Lil Yachty both sound half asleep in the recording booth and of course we the typical echoes and sound effects from Quavo which I find super annoying as always. And what does the phrase "ice tray the gang" even mean? I don't know and I don't care to know, either. But Quavo repeated it over and over, which was annoying.
84- "I Pray" - Red Marlow -- This can't be this guy's real name, can it? A stage name for his musical career that he may or may not have after getting fourth place on season 13 of "The Voice." Also, how old is this guy and how high is the age limit on "The Voice"? On "American Idol" you had to be younger than 30, but this guy looks like he's well into his 40's. That aside, I can definitely see why this guy got fourth place. Although it was nice to get a little southern baptist sermon while I was listening as this song seemed like it came straight from this guy's church, this guy sounds exactly like all the other boring male country singers in the business all writing cliche country songs with their deep southern twangs. I'll take a pass. Addison and Chloe were definitely a lot more lovable as I would totally be fine if this was Red's only Billboard hit in his career. And before I move on, are we going to ignore the fact that the person with the best voice, Brooke Simpson, got third place on "The Voice"? Her song "What is Beautiful" is the best of the four original songs and her cover performance of "O Holy Night" was stunning. Yet she can't chart on the Hot 100? That's sad. Maybe she got third place because "Wrecking Ball" with Miley was mediocre. Also, as a bonus listen, Brooke sang "Titanium" with Sia as part of the non-competitive performances. That's pretty incredible. Go give it a listen.
92- "Believe" - Eminem -- We finish this week with another song from Eminem's "Revival." And, oh my goodness, what in the frack are you doing Eminem? This song has three super long, boring verses separated with a brief hook and the song is done Migos style with short disconnected phrases. I can usually count on Eminem to at least give me flow and passion, but neither are here. This song is super choppy and it feels like Eminem is dragging me through a bunch of sludge as it drags like crazy. And to add to that, I have no idea what Eminem is saying here. At least that is usually clear, but here it's really not. As this is probably the worst Eminem song I've ever heard, I'm now really nervous about listening to this entire 19-track album.
Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran & Beyonce (=) -- We're starting 2018 off on the right foot. At least at the top spot of the charts with Ed Sheeran and Beyonce repeating at No. 1 for their third week. And yes, this Billboard week is dated Wednesday, January 3. That's because this is the week where Billboard is transitioning to the correct week instead of being a week ahead. Next week's charts will be dated Saturday, January 6 and from then on the chart will be dated the Saturday following the release of the charts instead of the Saturday of the week after. It makes sense that Billboard would fix that. I'm surprised they didn't do it earlier. Back to "Perfect," the song is now cemented in at that top spot as it is in the lead on streaming, sales and is about to take over on radio. Aiding its numbers even further this week is yet another version of the song titled "Perfect Symphony" with Ed Sheeran and Andrea Bocelli. I'm not sure if Andrea Bocelli is going to be given credit along with Beyonce moving forward, but he should if his version is contributing to the total. They can title it "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran and Beyonce or Andrea Bocelli. That would give Andrea Bocelli his first ever Hot 100 entry in the U.S. His albums have always sold well and he's charted singles over in Europe, but not in the U.S. It'd be cool if we gave him one.
As far as that third version of the song goes, I'm not sure it works as well in context. The original version is Ed Sheeran singing to his girl. "Perfect Duet" is Ed Sheeran and Beyonce singing to each other. "Perfect Symphony" is Ed Sheeran and Andrea Bocelli each singing to their own girls, I think? They're certainly not singing to each other as both specifically address a female at the beginning and it would be weird if we had two guys singing to the same girl. Thus we are doing this "Glee" style with multiple voices taking turns singing the same song when multiple voices aren't needed. I've never been a fan of that style. But man, Andrea Bocelli has such a beautiful voice that in the end it really doesn't matter if the context of the song makes sense. And he, of course, is singing in Italian, which makes it even prettier. Then Ed Sheeran joins him in Italian for the final verse, which is a nice touch that Ed does a good job with.
2- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (=) -- The rest of the top 10 is fairly boring as we kind of got stuck in a holiday rut with our current top 10, especially with our current top five. Post Malone unfortunately hangs on to his No. 2 spot. Even though Ed Sheeran passed him on streaming, the streaming for "rockstar" essentially remained the same, meaning I don't think Camila is going to be able to pass him.
3- "Havana" - Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug (=) -- Even though Camila is still stuck behind "rockstar" and it doesn't look like she'll be able to pass it, she does celebrate her third week on top of the radio charts, although Ed Sheeran is quickly coming for that crown as well as Camila has 135 million in total radio audience while Ed Sheeran has 125 million with Ed rising faster as Camila has peaked.
4- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (=) -- This is the most frustrating song to get stuck in the top five. I really want the streaming here to die already because that's the only reason this is here. But at least I can celebrate the fact that this didn't go No. 1.
5- "No Limit" - G-Eazy featuring A$AP Rocky & Cardi B (+5) -- OK, I'm happy that Imagine Dragons got booted from the top five, but I'm not sure we got an improvement with this pile of horse manure replacing it. Luckily it's jump this week was due to the release of the music video, meaning it has the potential to fall back out of the top five next week.
6- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (-1) -- That means "Thunder" might go back to the top five next week? That would be unfortunate. We really need a song that's tolerable to start gaining more momentum.
7- "MotorSport" - Migos, Nicki Minaj & Cardi B (-1) -- It's fortunate that this song also dropped a spot after the release of the music video. If this would just stay here in the bottom half of the top 10 that would be great.
8- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (-1) -- It's kind of sad seeing Sam slowly drop off. With most of the songs ahead of it being trash (minus "Perfect" and "Havana"), it would've been nice if this was the song that gained more momentum and at least camped out in the top five. But oh well. At least it gained some traction.
9- "All I Want for Christmas is You" - Mariah Carey (=) -- I was really wanting this song to get a bit higher following its historic week last week, finally breaking the top 10 after 23 years of existence, becoming the first Christmas song in quite some time to make it into the region. But at least we got to see this in the top 10 for a couple of weeks and I hope to see it back next Christmas. With Christmas being officially over, all these holiday songs are going to start dropping out either next week or the week after.
10- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (-2) -- It's nice to see Halsey hiccup and nearly fall out. We didn't need this song to become a major hit. Reaching the top 10 was bad enough. Hopefully it manages to stay down. I don't really want this song to recover.
Rising on the Hot 100:
15- "Him & I" - G-Eazy & Halsey (+11) -- Although I'm not sure which Halsey song I would prefer. Her dull take with "Bad at Love" or this dull love song with her boyfriend that doesn't manage to convince me that they're madly in love with how little chemistry they have on the song or how dull the writing of their love song is. Let's just keep both songs away. And let's also stop making G-Eazy a thing. No one cares about his dull rap.
16- "I Fall Apart" - Post Malone (+3) -- I would really like it if "rockstar" would die already and leave the top 10. I also would really like it if it WASN'T replaced by this. Post Malone is someone who we should just leave in 2017 and admit to our bad mistake of making him a thing. This song is just about as uninteresting as "rockstar" as Post Malone whines and complains that he couldn't buy a girl's love with all his fame and riches. As if that's all he thinks girls care about.
26- "Plain Jane" - A$AP Ferg (+20) -- This song has a hard time sticking in my head. I have to go re-listen to it every week to even remind myself of what the heck it is. A 20-spot jump scares me because that makes me believe this is a contender to make the top 10 and we don't need yet another dull rapper to be given huge success. I don't know much about A$AP Ferg, but I don't want him around.
29- "The Weekend" - SZA (+10) -- OK, if I have to pick between G-Eazy, Post Malone, A$AP Ferg and SZA, I'll pick SZA. But it's a really bad sing for 2018 when we start of the year with four boring songs being the songs that are the ones rising on the charts.
30- "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" - Brenda Lee (+4) -- Keeping track of our Christmas songs again for probably the final week. It was fun having them around and it's always great seeing Brenda Lee's upbeat Christmas song around. I look forward to seeing it again next season!
32- "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" - Andy Williams (+3) -- The most wonderful time of the year is now over, but we can all have positive outlooks on life with the new year coming.
37- "The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You)" - Nat King Cole (+1) -- Nat King Cole jumps up a spot in the final week of Christmas tracking. I hope to see him back next year as this song is one of the better Christmas songs.
38- "A Holly Jolly Christmas" - Burl Ives (+3) -- I never did watch Rudolph this year. I forgot about that. Maybe I'll catch up on it late, just for fun.
42- "End Game" - Taylor Swift featuring Ed Sheeran & Future (+7) -- Is this song actually going to gain traction for Taylor? I hope not. 2017 was a miserable year for her new album. And although there are some songs from the album that I think she should release as singles, this is not the one I want to go anywhere. I would prefer that it died with the rest of her songs that are mostly dead now.
43- "Last Christmas" - Wham! (+1) -- I was hoping to see this song get a bit higher than No. 43, but oh well. It's not the best Christmas song, but it's good to have it around.
46- "Lemon" - N.E.R.D. & Rihanna (+12) -- If I'm not mistaken, N.E.R.D. released their new album, which I believe is what gave this song a boost. I've been expecting it to gain a lot more traction as it seems has all it needs to be a major hit, but it's been mostly M.I.A since it's release. But now that it jumped into the top 50, is it finally going to start gaining traction or will it just fall back down next week? We'll have to wait and see.
49- "Feliz Navidad" - Jose Feliciano (re-entry) -- This first debuted last Christmas season on the Billboard charts and it made me really happy to see it. It looks like it will only get one week this year, but it was good to have it back anyways.
50- "Jingle Bell Rock" - Bobby Helms (re-entry) -- I honestly can't remember if this was one of our Christmas entries last Christmas. It wasn't a new debut like "Last Christmas" and "Feliz Navidad" were as it has accumulated 20 weeks on the charts, but this is another fun, upbeat Christmas song that pairs well with "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree," so it's fun to have them both here.
63- "Marry Me" - Thomas Rhett (+29) -- I shouldn't ever be surprised when Thomas Rhett gets a huge boost on the charts. Country radio loves this guy and sometimes pop radio pick up on him, too. And I'm not really sure why as he doesn't have a lot of talent in him and in terms of songs called "Marry Me," this will never be the one that comes to my mind first even if this isn't the worst song Thomas Rhett has ever written.
80- "No Smoke" - YoungBoy Never Broke Again (+13) -- This is only at No. 80, so no need to panic yet. But YoungBoy Never Broke Again is a rapper who I'd like to keep in 2017, both because of his ridiculous name as well as his uninteresting rap songs.
New Arrivals:
11- "River" - Eminem featuring Ed Sheeran -- I still haven't listened to Eminem's album. It's on my to do list. But I saw this track on the album and was intrigued because Ed Sheeran with Eminem seems intriguing. And I thought Ed Sheeran's chorus that starts the song was an intriguing introduction. Yet when Eminem came in, I find myself more interested in hearing what Ed Sheeran would've come up with if this was his own song because Eminem's verses are quite boring. He has his rhyme schemes and flow down, but he's missing his typical fire and passion. Instead he's singing about this awkward love triangle that fails for everyone. A guy is cheating on his girl. The girl finds out and cheats on the guy with Eminem. Then Eminem gets her pregnant. The guy and Eminem then figure out what the girl is doing and they both dump her, thus making everyone miserable. The story ends with Eminem forcing the girl to get an abortion. Nope. Not buying this one. Remember in "Walk on Water" where Eminem talks about him thinking a song is great until he later hears it on the radio and realizes it's actually a piece of trash? Yup. That's what's going to happen hear. At least I hope so. Because Eminem is capable of a lot better and I hope he's smart enough to realize this song is crap so that he can come up with something better next time.
67- "Tennessee Rain" - Addison Agen -- Three of our next four songs come from the season 13 finale of "The Voice," which was won, not by Addison Agen, but by Chloe Kohanski, the girl who covered "Total Eclipse of the Heart" in the second week of the Top 12. Before this week, that was the only season 13 song that charted. In the season finale, the four finalists did a cover, a duet with their coach and an original. The three songs that charted were originals. This song from Addison won her second place, but she gets the last laugh by charting higher than Chloe. With this being my first introduction to Addison as I don't actually watch "The Voice," I can definitely see her appeal. She is easy on the eyes and easy on the ears. I really love her voice on this original song and thus I'd be fine if country radio made her a thing, even though no one from "The Voice" ever amounts to much. As far as the song goes, it's a bit empty. Her guy breaks up with her and she cries like a Tennessee rain as she doesn't know how to deal with this unhappy ending. That's it. So I'd like more depth from Addison as she moves forward with her career, but there's potential here.
69- "Wish I Didn't Love You" - Chloe Kohanski -- Now onto our actual winner, I can definitely predict that this wasn't a runaway win for Chloe just by listening to both songs. I like Addison's voice better. She has a more clear, beautiful voice that sounds more innocent while Chloe's voice is fairly unique and husky. Addison hits the higher notes better while Chloe cracks a bit when she tries to go high, but her style is more unique and her song is more interesting. Addison's song was beautifully sung, but simple and fairly empty. This song is also about Chloe being sad about a lover, but there's more complexity to the lyrics and a bit more emotion as Addison's song sounds like a teenage girl experiencing her first breakup. I like both songs, but I do think I'd give the edge to Chloe because her song is more interesting even though Addison's is better sung. I'm not sure how much content of the song is taken into consideration here. Maybe it's possible that Chloe won because of her rock-solid cover of "Bette Davis Eyes" while Addison's cover was "Humble and Kind," a song that I find kinda boring. At least when compared to "Bette Davis Eyes." As a side note, this song by Chloe did kinda remind me of Simon & Garfunkle's "El Condor Pasa (If I Could)."
82- "Ice Tray" - Quavo & Lil Yachty -- Before we get to our final charted performance from "The Voice" finale, we have to make it through this pile of garbage. Billboard lists this simply as Quavo and Lil Yachty, so I'm sticking with that instead of adding Quality Control like Apple Music does as this is an album released by Quality Control. Who or what is Quality Control? That's Migos' record label. Record labels don't need to be credited on songs. That's dumb. What's also dumb is this song. If you like Migos, maybe you'll like this as it's not the most offensive Migos song. I just find it boring as Quavo and Lil Yachty both sound half asleep in the recording booth and of course we the typical echoes and sound effects from Quavo which I find super annoying as always. And what does the phrase "ice tray the gang" even mean? I don't know and I don't care to know, either. But Quavo repeated it over and over, which was annoying.
84- "I Pray" - Red Marlow -- This can't be this guy's real name, can it? A stage name for his musical career that he may or may not have after getting fourth place on season 13 of "The Voice." Also, how old is this guy and how high is the age limit on "The Voice"? On "American Idol" you had to be younger than 30, but this guy looks like he's well into his 40's. That aside, I can definitely see why this guy got fourth place. Although it was nice to get a little southern baptist sermon while I was listening as this song seemed like it came straight from this guy's church, this guy sounds exactly like all the other boring male country singers in the business all writing cliche country songs with their deep southern twangs. I'll take a pass. Addison and Chloe were definitely a lot more lovable as I would totally be fine if this was Red's only Billboard hit in his career. And before I move on, are we going to ignore the fact that the person with the best voice, Brooke Simpson, got third place on "The Voice"? Her song "What is Beautiful" is the best of the four original songs and her cover performance of "O Holy Night" was stunning. Yet she can't chart on the Hot 100? That's sad. Maybe she got third place because "Wrecking Ball" with Miley was mediocre. Also, as a bonus listen, Brooke sang "Titanium" with Sia as part of the non-competitive performances. That's pretty incredible. Go give it a listen.
92- "Believe" - Eminem -- We finish this week with another song from Eminem's "Revival." And, oh my goodness, what in the frack are you doing Eminem? This song has three super long, boring verses separated with a brief hook and the song is done Migos style with short disconnected phrases. I can usually count on Eminem to at least give me flow and passion, but neither are here. This song is super choppy and it feels like Eminem is dragging me through a bunch of sludge as it drags like crazy. And to add to that, I have no idea what Eminem is saying here. At least that is usually clear, but here it's really not. As this is probably the worst Eminem song I've ever heard, I'm now really nervous about listening to this entire 19-track album.
Thursday, December 21, 2017
Top 10 MOST POPULAR Songs of 2017
Earlier this year I officially completed my major Billboard project in which I went week by week starting in 1958, the first year of the Billboard Hot 100, giving points to each song that made the top 10, with the No. 1 song getting 10 points, the No. 2 song getting nine points, down to the No. 10 song getting one point. This I did in order to determine what the most popular songs of each year, each decade and of all-time were. You can find those results in the archives of this blog. But given that music never really ends, this project is technically an ongoing project and will be for as long as the Billboard Hot 100 exists. With the Billboard calendar year of 2017 now over, yes they got a week ahead of everyone else, which they're fixing in 2018, it's time to officially reveal the top 10 most popular songs of 2017 according to my previously established formula.
Yes, it's worth noting that Billboard released their own list of top songs of the year and, while my goal was never to replicate their list, there are three major reasons why this list is different than their's. First, they have actual chart points that I don't have access to. Second, they keep track of the entire Hot 100 whereas I only keep track of the top 10 due to time restraints. Third, they go from December through November when creating their end of year lists so that they can have it out in early December whereas I, like normal people, count the year from January through December. So take this for what it is. Just my personal project. Nothing official. But hey, our top three matched this year, so I must've done something right. My personal favorite and least favorite songs of the year are coming soon. Look forward to those!
10- "I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)" - Zayn & Taylor Swift
9- "Humble." - Kendrick Lamar
8- "Wild Thoughts" - DJ Khaled featuring Rihanna & Bryson Tiller
7- "I'm the One" - DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper & Lil Wayne
6- "Bad and Boujee" - Migos featuring Lil Uzi Vert
5- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage
4- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)" - Cardi B
3- "That's What I Like" - Bruno Mars
2- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber
1- "Shape of You" - Ed Sheeran
Yes, it's worth noting that Billboard released their own list of top songs of the year and, while my goal was never to replicate their list, there are three major reasons why this list is different than their's. First, they have actual chart points that I don't have access to. Second, they keep track of the entire Hot 100 whereas I only keep track of the top 10 due to time restraints. Third, they go from December through November when creating their end of year lists so that they can have it out in early December whereas I, like normal people, count the year from January through December. So take this for what it is. Just my personal project. Nothing official. But hey, our top three matched this year, so I must've done something right. My personal favorite and least favorite songs of the year are coming soon. Look forward to those!
10- "I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)" - Zayn & Taylor Swift
9- "Humble." - Kendrick Lamar
8- "Wild Thoughts" - DJ Khaled featuring Rihanna & Bryson Tiller
7- "I'm the One" - DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper & Lil Wayne
6- "Bad and Boujee" - Migos featuring Lil Uzi Vert
5- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage
4- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)" - Cardi B
3- "That's What I Like" - Bruno Mars
2- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber
1- "Shape of You" - Ed Sheeran
Wednesday, December 20, 2017
DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - December 30, 2017
The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to switch things up in the future, but for now this is what I'm sticking with. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!
1- "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran & Beyonce (=) -- The first bit of good news this week is that Ed Sheeran and Beyonce have survived the typical second week drop in sales following this new remixed duet that started with Ed Sheeran just singing by himself. Given this upcoming, expected drop, I wasn't 100 percent sure if it would survive at No. 1 this week, but I'm glad it did as no one needs "rockstar" back at top. No one needs that song at all, anyways, but hey. Now I feel comfortable saying that this song is here to stay, especially since radio continues to climb and streaming is still really strong. How long will it stay at the top? Well, Ed Sheeran spent 12 weeks at No. 1 earlier this year with "Shape of You." I doubt this goes that long, but until a worthy replacement comes around, I am perfectly fine with this staying here because I think this is a really pretty song. It's probably my favorite No. 1 hit of 2017, although that's not saying much.
2- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (=) -- Streaming is still really strong, but fortunately that wasn't enough to overcome strong sales and radio from "Perfect" as "rockstar" only led in streaming this week and not by very much this week as it dropped 12 percent from last week to 43.9 million U.S. streams whereas the streaming for "Perfect" was at 39.7 million U.S. streams this week. "Perfect" destroyed "rockstar" in the other two categories so it's not worth even bringing up. The reign for "rockstar" has officially ended at eight weeks, which was eight weeks too long, in my opinion. Now lets stop streaming this altogether so it can drop out of the top 10 already.
3- "Havana" - Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug (=) -- It would really be nice if Camila could at least jump past "rockstar" and get to No. 2. I would like it if our top two songs were "Perfect" and "Havana." That would be nice. "Havana" does top the radio charts for a second straight week with 132 million in radio audience, but "Perfect" is quickly coming for that mark as well as it has 117 million in radio audience.
4- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (=) -- Look, I'm glad this has now gotten stuck at No. 4. But can we please send it away completely? Like seriously. What appeal does it have listening to the words "Gucci Gang" get repeated over and over while throwing in cliche rapper stuff like drugs, girls and money? Why have so many people fallen in love with such a stupid song? Let's get rid of this garbage.
5- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (=) -- Isn't about time for Imagine Dragons to get bumped from the top five already? It's here because the top five got completely stuck this week. Now we need more life on the charts so we can shake this up and get some actual quality songs in here. Or at the least more tolerable songs.
6- "MotorSport" - Migos, Nicki Minaj & Cardi B (+9) -- I'm not one bit surprised that this made it into the top 10. In fact, I'm more surprised that a song with Migos, Nicki and Cardi took this long to get here. The major jump this week comes because of the music video that they finally released. I'm sure that's a masterpiece. The fact that this got boosted by a music video gives me hope that it will fall again next week because I would be annoyed if this managed to sneak into that top five rotation. That's what you would call jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.
7- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (-1) -- Sam got bumped a spot thanks to Migos and their girlfriends, which is a shame. But that essentially means that this was even compared to last week, so I appreciate the continued consistency even though I would really like for this to replace one of those awful songs in the top five right now.
8- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (=) -- Halsey managed to jump ahead of G-Eazy and friends, but got jumped by Migos and girlfriends, so she stays put at No. 8. I'm totally fine with that. We don't need Halsey in the top five again. She can stay in the bottom half.
9- "All I Want for Christmas Is You" - Mariah Carey (+2) -- This here is the story of the week! This modern Christmas classic was released on Mariah's album back in 1994 and first hit the Hot 100 in 2000 not long after Billboard allowed album cuts in December 1998, meaning this song wasn't even eligible till then. It has returned to the charts every year around Christmas since streaming was implemented into Billboard's formula in 2012 and now in 2017 the song has completed its 23 year journey to the top 10. And I couldn't be happier! You can go read Billboard's weekly article from Gary Trust about the history of Christmas songs in the top 10, but the short story is that they don't show up in the top 10 very often and this song is the first song ever to hit the top 10 with the word "Christmas" in the song title. That's a pretty significant mark! As far as Mariah goes, she has now tied Stevie Wonder for fifth most Hot 100 top 10 entries with 28, behind only Madonna (38), The Beatles (34), Rihanna (31) and Michael Jackson (29). And since her previous top 10 entry was in 2009, she also now joins 11 other acts who have had top 10 entries in the 90's, 00's and 10's. Only Michael Jackson and Madonna go back further as Michael started in the 70's with Madonna in the 80's. What an achievement! Now let's see if we can get it even higher next week!
10- "No Limit" - G-Eazy featuring A$AP Rocky & Cardi B (-3) -- I'm really happy to see this song fall down to No. 10. It never really deserved to be here. We also saw the loss of "Bodak Yellow" from the top 10, so that's another great achievement!
14- "New Rules" - Dua Lipa (+3) -- I'm glad to see this song back up to No. 14 after slipping last week. Now let's see if it can actually get over the hump and sail into the top 10. Dua Lipa deserves that honor, so let's make it happen America!
16- "Let You Down" - NF (+6) -- This song continues to be a pleasant surprise on the charts. Who would've thought that a Christian rapper could get this high on the charts? I hope that this starts a new trend on the Billboard charts because I actually appreciate Christian rap. Better to rap about Christianity and religion than sex, money and drugs, like most rap songs these days.
19- "I Fall Apart" - Post Malone (+4) -- Let's not make this one a hit, please? Post Malone needs to go away and stay in 2017. He's a lifeless, boring rapper who doesn't deserve any fame, thus I am confused as to why the music gods chose him to be a superstar.
24- "The Way Life Goes" - Lil Uzi Vert featuring Nicki Minaj (+5) -- We also don't need anymore Lil Uzi Vert. No one is going to remember this guy five years from now, so it would be nice if we can send him on his way sooner rather than later.
34- "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" - Brenda Lee (+3) -- Technically I'm breaking my rules here. Between No. 21 and No. 50, my standard is that a song needs to jump five spots for me to include it in this section. While we're at it, I've decided that a song needs to jump two spots between No. 11 and No. 20 and at least 10 spots from No. 51 and below. But I wanted to keep track of how our Christmas songs are doing this year, so I made an exception. This Brenda Lee classic has always been a fun one for me. With a lot of slower, melodic Christmas songs, it's nice to have an upbeat one.
35- "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" - Andy Williams (+10) -- Andy Williams wins the award for the Christmas song that jumped the most this week. Well deserved. This really is the most wonderful time of the year. Minus the cold weather, of course.
37- "...Ready for It?" - Taylor Swift (+6) -- Taylor Swift somehow recovered a bit this week. "Look What You Made Me Do" also jumped up a couple of spots in the 70's. We'll see if this is just a one week thing or if "...Ready for It?" can actually gain traction. If you would've told me four months ago when Taylor first showed up that her songs would be gone by the end of the year, I would've called you crazy. This is Taylor Swift. Maybe if she decides to release some of the better songs from the album, she might be able to salvage something here. Like "New Year's Day."
38- "The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas You)" - Nat King Cole (+4) -- Isn't it just great for me to be writing Nat King Cole's name on this list? And since my next Billboard Analysis post will be after Christmas, Merry Christmas to all of my readers!
41- "A Holly Jolly Christmas" - Burl Ives (+6) -- And now excuse me while I go watch the animated stop-motion Rudolph movie. And I'll probably have this song stuck in my head all week afterwards because this is such a fun Christmas song.
44- "Last Christmas" - Wham! (re-entry) -- Again, I'm breaking my rules here because I usually don't bring up re-entries. But I had to here. It's George Michael! May he rest in peace, of course. This song, though, isn't necessarily a universally loved Christmas song as it's more of an angry break-up song around Christmas that feels kinda angsty. But I don't know. It's George Michael! He carries the song very well as he just has a special charisma to him. People who cover this song? That's a different story. It's kinda like "Santa Baby." The original is just fine, but the many covers aren't that great.
50- "Kooda" - 6ix9ine (+11) -- I'm going to go back to singing my Christmas songs and pretend that we didn't let this song by a sex offender that sounds like he's bragging about gang rape and murder into the top 50. At least his other song, "Gummo" stalled out a bit this week just below the top 10. But let's please get both of these songs out of here. I suppose I can see the appeal for this style of angry rap, but to me this shows that people who love sometimes just don't listen to the lyrics otherwise I'm guessing they wouldn't listen to this. Either that or we have millions of crazy psychopaths pushing songs up the charts via streaming. I'm going to pretend that's not the case.
61- "Never Be the Same" - Camila Cabello -- I'm really rooting for Camila to succeed, as you can tell by me wanting "Havana" to jump ahead of "rockstar" for the past two months or so. I think she has a very likable presence and has the potential to be a great pop star. Her solo stuff is definitely much better than her Fifth Harmony stuff and this here will be the first track on her upcoming debut solo album, which I'm intrigued. I would just really like it if Camila could find a bit of consistency with her writing, because when she's on, she's on. When she's not on, she's a bit boring. "Never Be the Same" uses the extremely overused idea of love being a drug as Camila sings about this guy being like nicotine, heroin or morphine. And she mumbles a bit through her first verse and pre-chorus as if she recorded this song a few seconds after waking up, but when she gets to the chorus that's when this female pop star version of Camila shows up that I really like. And she infuses a bit of electro-pop in with it to give it a slightly more unique flavor than her other songs, so this is a decent song that I'd be willing to root for. But I'm waiting for Camila to deliver something great and she yet done that.
67- "Go Legend" - Big Sean & Metro Boomin featuring Travis Scott -- Big Sean released an album earlier this year that I didn't completely hate. I only covered the songs that showed up on the Hot 100 and some of the were tolerable. But I really don't like it when we get two albums in one year because it tells me that an artist, usually a rapper in this instance, isn't putting much thought into quality and is just focusing on quantity. This is the second collaborative album that I've seen with Metro Boomin recently, so I suppose that's the cool thing right now. With this album, we certainly didn't get off to a good start a month or so ago when the song "Pull Up N Wreck" dropped. And, well, this song starts off good, but only because it samples Diana Ross' 1976 hit "Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To)." Diana asks that question in the title and after that quick intro, we rather jarringly jump into this boring rap song where Big Sean and Travis Scott are just saying they go legend. Because, you know, rappers don't use grammar. Which is whatever. But then Big Sean starts comparing himself to Michael Jackson and Prince and I'm like, nope. Big Sean is no legend and this song has no depth or not much of anything outside random phrases and references. It feels very lazy and rushed, thus I'm not compelled to listen to anymore of this collaborative album.
72- "Dark Knight Dummo" - Trippie Redd featuring Travis Scott -- I keep on hearing about this Trippie Redd kid from looking up songs from these other awful rappers from 2017, but this is the first time he's shown up as a main act. He previously played a featured role in one of XXXTENTACION's sort of songs that the world has already forgotten about. And this? Well, I am calling this a complete mystery. It sounds like Trippie Redd recorded this with a giant jawbreaker in his mouth. The song makes it seem like it's going to reference Batman somehow with Dark Knight being in the title, but the only superhero referenced is Mr. Fantastic from the Fantastic Four. And Dummo? What is that? Some sort of diss track against 6ix9ine's "Gummo"? But how it is beats me. I read that title and have no clue what the song is going to be about and then I read the lyrics and am even more confused because none of it makes sense. And in addition to Trippie sounding like he recorded this while sucking on a jawbreaker, he also sounds drunk or in the midst of a hangover. But that's rap music in 2017 for you. This was so bad that I almost felt relieved when Travis Scott came in.
77- "My Dawg" - Lil Baby -- Verified commentary from Lil Baby on Genius, "I don't have a writing process. I just go in the booth and say something and leave." Well that makes sense as to why this song makes no sense. Lil Baby didn't even try. And for some reason I feel he's not the only one. So if he didn't even try and the song sounds like he didn't even try, why should I give this the time of day. It sucks. Let's move on. And by the way, who in the frack is Lil Baby? Make him go away!
82- "Danger" - Migos & Marshmello -- Do you know what this song reminded me of? It reminded me of the times on Thanksgiving where I see this dish covered in marshmallows and I want to eat it, but then discover it's sweet potatoes or yams and I want to barf instead because those are disgusting and a waste of perfectly good marshmallows. Then I talk to everyone else and they all love it. I don't understand. Yams are terrible. And so are Migos. I don't see the appeal. And not even Marshmello EDM magic can fix the fact that this is still Migos. I will say, though, this is a slightly less annoying take from Migos, but I think that's the case because this is a soundtrack song from the movie "Bright," which will debut on Netflix in two days. They probably had leashes on their necks to make it so they couldn't go completely off the rails as this had to be a bit user friendly. But despite it being less annoying, the issue with these things called lyrics still exists. I never know what Migos are talking about. I'm convinced that they have a random phrase generator in their studio because none of their lyrics ever connect or make any sense. They're just words and that's the same thing here.
86- "Untouchable" - Eminem -- Eminem dropped his new album "Revival" recently and I have big plans on diving into it to see what Eminem has in store because I really liked the first track from the album "Walk on Water," and the album has 19 tracks, so I feel like I'll at least be able to find some great Eminem stuff somewhere on the album, even though the length of the album does concern me. But I'll get to that later. "Untouchable" is a very typical Eminem song in that he pulls a lot of punches and doesn't hold back. I really appreciate Eminem as a rapper because he raps about what he cares about instead of boringly mumbling about drugs, sex and money like 95 percent of current rappers that plague the charts today. "Untouchable" is about racial injustices in America with police violence. With that in mind, you probably have an idea of exactly what this song is about and you're right. Eminem fires away and gets rather vicious, which I appreciate. Although his specific structure with this song is a bit jarring. The first two short verses he's rapping from the perspective of the racist cops, showing how incredibly stupid and unjust they are, they switches gears and spends the third verse from the perspective of the blacks as well as Eminem as a white dude who is embarrassed to be white and is upset with the current political environment. But that third verse is half of the song, thus while the content is passionate and fiery, the flow and pacing of the song isn't quite as sharp as other Eminem songs. But it does make me curious to see what else he has in store on "Revival."
Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran & Beyonce (=) -- The first bit of good news this week is that Ed Sheeran and Beyonce have survived the typical second week drop in sales following this new remixed duet that started with Ed Sheeran just singing by himself. Given this upcoming, expected drop, I wasn't 100 percent sure if it would survive at No. 1 this week, but I'm glad it did as no one needs "rockstar" back at top. No one needs that song at all, anyways, but hey. Now I feel comfortable saying that this song is here to stay, especially since radio continues to climb and streaming is still really strong. How long will it stay at the top? Well, Ed Sheeran spent 12 weeks at No. 1 earlier this year with "Shape of You." I doubt this goes that long, but until a worthy replacement comes around, I am perfectly fine with this staying here because I think this is a really pretty song. It's probably my favorite No. 1 hit of 2017, although that's not saying much.
2- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (=) -- Streaming is still really strong, but fortunately that wasn't enough to overcome strong sales and radio from "Perfect" as "rockstar" only led in streaming this week and not by very much this week as it dropped 12 percent from last week to 43.9 million U.S. streams whereas the streaming for "Perfect" was at 39.7 million U.S. streams this week. "Perfect" destroyed "rockstar" in the other two categories so it's not worth even bringing up. The reign for "rockstar" has officially ended at eight weeks, which was eight weeks too long, in my opinion. Now lets stop streaming this altogether so it can drop out of the top 10 already.
3- "Havana" - Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug (=) -- It would really be nice if Camila could at least jump past "rockstar" and get to No. 2. I would like it if our top two songs were "Perfect" and "Havana." That would be nice. "Havana" does top the radio charts for a second straight week with 132 million in radio audience, but "Perfect" is quickly coming for that mark as well as it has 117 million in radio audience.
4- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (=) -- Look, I'm glad this has now gotten stuck at No. 4. But can we please send it away completely? Like seriously. What appeal does it have listening to the words "Gucci Gang" get repeated over and over while throwing in cliche rapper stuff like drugs, girls and money? Why have so many people fallen in love with such a stupid song? Let's get rid of this garbage.
5- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (=) -- Isn't about time for Imagine Dragons to get bumped from the top five already? It's here because the top five got completely stuck this week. Now we need more life on the charts so we can shake this up and get some actual quality songs in here. Or at the least more tolerable songs.
6- "MotorSport" - Migos, Nicki Minaj & Cardi B (+9) -- I'm not one bit surprised that this made it into the top 10. In fact, I'm more surprised that a song with Migos, Nicki and Cardi took this long to get here. The major jump this week comes because of the music video that they finally released. I'm sure that's a masterpiece. The fact that this got boosted by a music video gives me hope that it will fall again next week because I would be annoyed if this managed to sneak into that top five rotation. That's what you would call jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.
7- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (-1) -- Sam got bumped a spot thanks to Migos and their girlfriends, which is a shame. But that essentially means that this was even compared to last week, so I appreciate the continued consistency even though I would really like for this to replace one of those awful songs in the top five right now.
8- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (=) -- Halsey managed to jump ahead of G-Eazy and friends, but got jumped by Migos and girlfriends, so she stays put at No. 8. I'm totally fine with that. We don't need Halsey in the top five again. She can stay in the bottom half.
9- "All I Want for Christmas Is You" - Mariah Carey (+2) -- This here is the story of the week! This modern Christmas classic was released on Mariah's album back in 1994 and first hit the Hot 100 in 2000 not long after Billboard allowed album cuts in December 1998, meaning this song wasn't even eligible till then. It has returned to the charts every year around Christmas since streaming was implemented into Billboard's formula in 2012 and now in 2017 the song has completed its 23 year journey to the top 10. And I couldn't be happier! You can go read Billboard's weekly article from Gary Trust about the history of Christmas songs in the top 10, but the short story is that they don't show up in the top 10 very often and this song is the first song ever to hit the top 10 with the word "Christmas" in the song title. That's a pretty significant mark! As far as Mariah goes, she has now tied Stevie Wonder for fifth most Hot 100 top 10 entries with 28, behind only Madonna (38), The Beatles (34), Rihanna (31) and Michael Jackson (29). And since her previous top 10 entry was in 2009, she also now joins 11 other acts who have had top 10 entries in the 90's, 00's and 10's. Only Michael Jackson and Madonna go back further as Michael started in the 70's with Madonna in the 80's. What an achievement! Now let's see if we can get it even higher next week!
10- "No Limit" - G-Eazy featuring A$AP Rocky & Cardi B (-3) -- I'm really happy to see this song fall down to No. 10. It never really deserved to be here. We also saw the loss of "Bodak Yellow" from the top 10, so that's another great achievement!
Rising on the Hot 100:
14- "New Rules" - Dua Lipa (+3) -- I'm glad to see this song back up to No. 14 after slipping last week. Now let's see if it can actually get over the hump and sail into the top 10. Dua Lipa deserves that honor, so let's make it happen America!
16- "Let You Down" - NF (+6) -- This song continues to be a pleasant surprise on the charts. Who would've thought that a Christian rapper could get this high on the charts? I hope that this starts a new trend on the Billboard charts because I actually appreciate Christian rap. Better to rap about Christianity and religion than sex, money and drugs, like most rap songs these days.
19- "I Fall Apart" - Post Malone (+4) -- Let's not make this one a hit, please? Post Malone needs to go away and stay in 2017. He's a lifeless, boring rapper who doesn't deserve any fame, thus I am confused as to why the music gods chose him to be a superstar.
24- "The Way Life Goes" - Lil Uzi Vert featuring Nicki Minaj (+5) -- We also don't need anymore Lil Uzi Vert. No one is going to remember this guy five years from now, so it would be nice if we can send him on his way sooner rather than later.
34- "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" - Brenda Lee (+3) -- Technically I'm breaking my rules here. Between No. 21 and No. 50, my standard is that a song needs to jump five spots for me to include it in this section. While we're at it, I've decided that a song needs to jump two spots between No. 11 and No. 20 and at least 10 spots from No. 51 and below. But I wanted to keep track of how our Christmas songs are doing this year, so I made an exception. This Brenda Lee classic has always been a fun one for me. With a lot of slower, melodic Christmas songs, it's nice to have an upbeat one.
35- "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" - Andy Williams (+10) -- Andy Williams wins the award for the Christmas song that jumped the most this week. Well deserved. This really is the most wonderful time of the year. Minus the cold weather, of course.
37- "...Ready for It?" - Taylor Swift (+6) -- Taylor Swift somehow recovered a bit this week. "Look What You Made Me Do" also jumped up a couple of spots in the 70's. We'll see if this is just a one week thing or if "...Ready for It?" can actually gain traction. If you would've told me four months ago when Taylor first showed up that her songs would be gone by the end of the year, I would've called you crazy. This is Taylor Swift. Maybe if she decides to release some of the better songs from the album, she might be able to salvage something here. Like "New Year's Day."
38- "The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas You)" - Nat King Cole (+4) -- Isn't it just great for me to be writing Nat King Cole's name on this list? And since my next Billboard Analysis post will be after Christmas, Merry Christmas to all of my readers!
41- "A Holly Jolly Christmas" - Burl Ives (+6) -- And now excuse me while I go watch the animated stop-motion Rudolph movie. And I'll probably have this song stuck in my head all week afterwards because this is such a fun Christmas song.
44- "Last Christmas" - Wham! (re-entry) -- Again, I'm breaking my rules here because I usually don't bring up re-entries. But I had to here. It's George Michael! May he rest in peace, of course. This song, though, isn't necessarily a universally loved Christmas song as it's more of an angry break-up song around Christmas that feels kinda angsty. But I don't know. It's George Michael! He carries the song very well as he just has a special charisma to him. People who cover this song? That's a different story. It's kinda like "Santa Baby." The original is just fine, but the many covers aren't that great.
50- "Kooda" - 6ix9ine (+11) -- I'm going to go back to singing my Christmas songs and pretend that we didn't let this song by a sex offender that sounds like he's bragging about gang rape and murder into the top 50. At least his other song, "Gummo" stalled out a bit this week just below the top 10. But let's please get both of these songs out of here. I suppose I can see the appeal for this style of angry rap, but to me this shows that people who love sometimes just don't listen to the lyrics otherwise I'm guessing they wouldn't listen to this. Either that or we have millions of crazy psychopaths pushing songs up the charts via streaming. I'm going to pretend that's not the case.
New Arrivals:
61- "Never Be the Same" - Camila Cabello -- I'm really rooting for Camila to succeed, as you can tell by me wanting "Havana" to jump ahead of "rockstar" for the past two months or so. I think she has a very likable presence and has the potential to be a great pop star. Her solo stuff is definitely much better than her Fifth Harmony stuff and this here will be the first track on her upcoming debut solo album, which I'm intrigued. I would just really like it if Camila could find a bit of consistency with her writing, because when she's on, she's on. When she's not on, she's a bit boring. "Never Be the Same" uses the extremely overused idea of love being a drug as Camila sings about this guy being like nicotine, heroin or morphine. And she mumbles a bit through her first verse and pre-chorus as if she recorded this song a few seconds after waking up, but when she gets to the chorus that's when this female pop star version of Camila shows up that I really like. And she infuses a bit of electro-pop in with it to give it a slightly more unique flavor than her other songs, so this is a decent song that I'd be willing to root for. But I'm waiting for Camila to deliver something great and she yet done that.
67- "Go Legend" - Big Sean & Metro Boomin featuring Travis Scott -- Big Sean released an album earlier this year that I didn't completely hate. I only covered the songs that showed up on the Hot 100 and some of the were tolerable. But I really don't like it when we get two albums in one year because it tells me that an artist, usually a rapper in this instance, isn't putting much thought into quality and is just focusing on quantity. This is the second collaborative album that I've seen with Metro Boomin recently, so I suppose that's the cool thing right now. With this album, we certainly didn't get off to a good start a month or so ago when the song "Pull Up N Wreck" dropped. And, well, this song starts off good, but only because it samples Diana Ross' 1976 hit "Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To)." Diana asks that question in the title and after that quick intro, we rather jarringly jump into this boring rap song where Big Sean and Travis Scott are just saying they go legend. Because, you know, rappers don't use grammar. Which is whatever. But then Big Sean starts comparing himself to Michael Jackson and Prince and I'm like, nope. Big Sean is no legend and this song has no depth or not much of anything outside random phrases and references. It feels very lazy and rushed, thus I'm not compelled to listen to anymore of this collaborative album.
72- "Dark Knight Dummo" - Trippie Redd featuring Travis Scott -- I keep on hearing about this Trippie Redd kid from looking up songs from these other awful rappers from 2017, but this is the first time he's shown up as a main act. He previously played a featured role in one of XXXTENTACION's sort of songs that the world has already forgotten about. And this? Well, I am calling this a complete mystery. It sounds like Trippie Redd recorded this with a giant jawbreaker in his mouth. The song makes it seem like it's going to reference Batman somehow with Dark Knight being in the title, but the only superhero referenced is Mr. Fantastic from the Fantastic Four. And Dummo? What is that? Some sort of diss track against 6ix9ine's "Gummo"? But how it is beats me. I read that title and have no clue what the song is going to be about and then I read the lyrics and am even more confused because none of it makes sense. And in addition to Trippie sounding like he recorded this while sucking on a jawbreaker, he also sounds drunk or in the midst of a hangover. But that's rap music in 2017 for you. This was so bad that I almost felt relieved when Travis Scott came in.
77- "My Dawg" - Lil Baby -- Verified commentary from Lil Baby on Genius, "I don't have a writing process. I just go in the booth and say something and leave." Well that makes sense as to why this song makes no sense. Lil Baby didn't even try. And for some reason I feel he's not the only one. So if he didn't even try and the song sounds like he didn't even try, why should I give this the time of day. It sucks. Let's move on. And by the way, who in the frack is Lil Baby? Make him go away!
82- "Danger" - Migos & Marshmello -- Do you know what this song reminded me of? It reminded me of the times on Thanksgiving where I see this dish covered in marshmallows and I want to eat it, but then discover it's sweet potatoes or yams and I want to barf instead because those are disgusting and a waste of perfectly good marshmallows. Then I talk to everyone else and they all love it. I don't understand. Yams are terrible. And so are Migos. I don't see the appeal. And not even Marshmello EDM magic can fix the fact that this is still Migos. I will say, though, this is a slightly less annoying take from Migos, but I think that's the case because this is a soundtrack song from the movie "Bright," which will debut on Netflix in two days. They probably had leashes on their necks to make it so they couldn't go completely off the rails as this had to be a bit user friendly. But despite it being less annoying, the issue with these things called lyrics still exists. I never know what Migos are talking about. I'm convinced that they have a random phrase generator in their studio because none of their lyrics ever connect or make any sense. They're just words and that's the same thing here.
86- "Untouchable" - Eminem -- Eminem dropped his new album "Revival" recently and I have big plans on diving into it to see what Eminem has in store because I really liked the first track from the album "Walk on Water," and the album has 19 tracks, so I feel like I'll at least be able to find some great Eminem stuff somewhere on the album, even though the length of the album does concern me. But I'll get to that later. "Untouchable" is a very typical Eminem song in that he pulls a lot of punches and doesn't hold back. I really appreciate Eminem as a rapper because he raps about what he cares about instead of boringly mumbling about drugs, sex and money like 95 percent of current rappers that plague the charts today. "Untouchable" is about racial injustices in America with police violence. With that in mind, you probably have an idea of exactly what this song is about and you're right. Eminem fires away and gets rather vicious, which I appreciate. Although his specific structure with this song is a bit jarring. The first two short verses he's rapping from the perspective of the racist cops, showing how incredibly stupid and unjust they are, they switches gears and spends the third verse from the perspective of the blacks as well as Eminem as a white dude who is embarrassed to be white and is upset with the current political environment. But that third verse is half of the song, thus while the content is passionate and fiery, the flow and pacing of the song isn't quite as sharp as other Eminem songs. But it does make me curious to see what else he has in store on "Revival."
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - December 23, 2017
The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to switch things up in the future, but for now this is what I'm sticking with. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!
1- "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran & Beyonce (+2) -- Hallelujah! Billboard releases a video on their YouTube channel every Monday around noon with the new top 10 of the week and when I was watching that this week, I literally jumped for joy when I saw "Perfect" had dethroned "rockstar." I jumped up and did a fist pump in the air, screaming my excitement. We're technically not out of the water just yet as this week represents the first full week of sales for this new duet version of the song, thus meaning sales should take a dip next week, but let's hope it manages to stay on top next week because this is the song we all deserve at the top of the charts. It's such a pretty love song from Ed Sheeran that's enhanced with the addition of Beyonce, who by the way gets her first No. 1 hit this decade as her last No. 1 was her 2008 single "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)." The world of music has tried hard to give her this honor in 2017, but DJ Khaled's "Shining," J Balvin's "Mi Gente" and Eminem's "Walk on Water" all fell short of No. 1 with Beyonce attached. Fourth time's the charm, I suppose.
2- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (-1) -- I still can't believe we let this song sit and rot at the top of the charts for eight whole weeks. That's one of the most despicable things we've done all year. Next step is to somehow get rid of this song's streaming so it can start falling off. Perhaps we should permanently take away streaming privileges of everyone who thinks this song is a masterpiece because they're probably the same people who are streaming all the other awful rap songs as well.
3- "Havana" - Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug (-1) -- Camila just couldn't catch a break with this song. Even if she finally overcomes "rockstar," she'll be right back at No. 2 because she's not getting past Ed and Beyonce. The silver lining, though, is that "Havana" is now on top of the radio charts, dethroning "Thunder."
4- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (=) -- OK, I'm happy that this now seems stuck below the top three and that it arrived to late in the year to even think about making the end of year charts, but the next step is to remove this from the top five so it can then tumble out of the top 10 and get out of my life for good.
5- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (=) -- At this point, I would take "Thunder" moving up a spot if it meant dumping "Gucci Gang." But a better scenario would be to dump both of these songs. As I previously mentioned, this finally got dethroned on the radio, but said radio is still big enough for it to stubbornly stick around for a while longer.
6- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (=) -- I'm really happy that Sam Smith has finally stabilized on the charts. I would prefer this to go higher, but at least it's not going away. So I'll take that as a win. But if this could somehow jump ahead of "Gucci Gang" and "Thunder," that would be fantastic.
7- "No Limit" - G-Eazy featuring A$AP Rocky & Cardi B (+1) -- Cardi's tumble with "Bodak Yellow" is Cardi's gain with "No Limit." That's unfortunate really because "No Limit" is a piece of trash. Let's just hope that this doesn't get any higher.
8- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (+3) -- I saw this one coming. After The Chainsmokers put Halsey in the limelight for probably way longer than either act deserved with "Closer," many wondered if Halsey would be able to make it back to the top 10 on her own. Myself included. Turns out the answer to that is yes. And while I'm happy to have another female in the top 10 as our male/female ratio this year in the top 10 remains around a 75/25 proportion, Halsey's not exactly the female artist that I wanted in this region. I would've much rather had Dua Lipa, but she unfortunately got kicked down a few notches instead of going up, which makes me sad. I hope she can recover.
9- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)" - Cardi B (-2) -- It's quite likely that this is Cardi B's last week in the top 10 with "Bodak Yellow." While I've developed a semi-neutral feel towards it due to my hatred of everything else, I would still contend that in three months from now no one on planet earth will remember this song existed.
10- "What Lovers Do" - Maroon 5 featuring SZA (-1) -- At also makes me really happy that Maroon 5 hasn't been able to get much traction in the top 10 with this song. It's now celebrated four weeks in the top 10 with No. 9 being as high as it managed to get.
11- "All I Want for Christmas is You" - Mariah Carey (+10) -- Christmas season has finally arrived and Mariah Carey celebrated her annual re-entry onto the Billboard charts last week with her modern-day Christmas classic in "All I Want for Christmas is You." In previous years, the highest this song was able to get was No. 11, which is where it now stands in its second week of the season. Every year I wonder if this is the year it finally cracks the top 10 and boy it's looking like this just might be the year, which will have me ecstatic because this is a pretty good Christmas song.
Since I don't have a section for re-entries as I usually don't care that much, I will note here that other Christmas songs that returned to the Billboard charts this week are "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" by Brenda Lee at No. 37, "The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You)" by Nat King Cole at No. 42, "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" by Andy Williams at No. 45 and "A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives at No. 47. I hope they all have success this season and I imagine that we'll even get a few more as Christmas gets even closer. The Billboard rules are that they have to crack the top 50 and be gaining in several categories in order to justify their return.
13- "Gummo" - 6ix9ine (+41) -- Well this is concerning. Are people who are streaming this song paying any attention to what this thug is saying? It's a very disturbing song by a very disturbed individual and I'm baffled that we're giving this guy a career because he probably deserves to be in jail. At least he would if he ever followed through with anything he rapped about in this song. I imagine this got this high because of some sort of music video? If this ends up being top 10 material, that might be just as bad if not worse than "Gucci Gang."
14- "I Get the Bag" - Gucci Mane featuring Migos (+2) -- We stopped this song from entering the top 10 before as it previously peaked at No. 11. Let's repeat that and keep this song in the teens.
15- "MotorSport" - Migos, Nicki Minaj & Cardi B (+2) -- I'm surprised that this song has done nothing but hang around in the teens since debuting a month ago. I'm definitely not complaining, though, because the world needs to reject Migos and leave their disgustingly annoying style of rap in 2017.
22- "Let You Down" - NF (+7) -- Top 20 next week for the Christian rapper? That would excite me. Can we get this even higher by elevating it into the top 10? I'm not holding my breath for that, but I'd be happy if it did.
26- "How Long" - Charlie Puth (+6) -- How long to I have to suffer from Charlie Puth being on the charts before the world realizes that the man has no ounce of talent in him and starts to reject his bland, boring music?
29- "The Way Life Goes" - Lil Uzi Vert featuring Nicki Minaj (+10) -- Does anyone remember that Lil Uzi released an album back in September? I didn't think so. No surprise that the song with the Nicki feature is the only song from that album that's actually doing anything. There's certainly more offensive things making their way to the top right now, but I'd be really happy if we rejected Lil Uzi and left his untalented self in 2017 and just call him one of the many horrible mistakes.
31- "Meant to Be" - Bebe Rexha & Florida Georgia Line (+9) -- I'm pretty sure this is the top country song of the week. I'm glad they have things figured out at the moment. I'm also pretty sure that this is a perfect song to also be crossing over to pop radio, so I hope this can go even higher. If this ends up being Florida Georgia Line's best hit, I would be a happy man because this is one of the few times they've managed to impress me as they fit together quite well with Bebe.
35- "Sky Walker" - Miguel featuring Travis Scott (+20) -- I'm half tempted to believe that the only reason this song is getting any traction is because the new Star Wars movie is about to come out, which should be embarrassing for Miguel if any Star Wars fans actually read these lyrics because I'm also half tempted to believe that Miguel knows nothing about Star Wars. I mean, if he did, he'd be able to have more intelligent Star Wars references in his song, right?
39- "End Game" - Taylor Swift featuring Ed Sheeran & Future (+44) -- I told you I'd give you my thoughts on this song if Taylor's album ever debuted on Apple Music. It finally did. And while I give the album a B grade overall -- there's a combination of a lot to love and lot of meh -- this is by far the worst thing that Taylor put on the album. The combination of Taylor and Future goes together about as well as lathering your vanilla ice cream with barbecue sauce, pickles and onions. It's especially bad when Taylor tries to rap like Future towards the end of the song. And not to mention the lyrics are atrociously boring and bland. Taylor Swift wants to be her boyfriend's end game. And she claims that she doesn't like the drama. Ha! Yeah... right. The only thing that kinda brings a touch of life to the song is Ed Sheeran providing a kick of energy in his verse. I hope this isn't Taylor's idea of a new single after her others have already all failed. Instead she should try "New Years Day," "Dancing with Our Hands Tied" or "Delicate" because those might work out better for her.
44- "Ric Flair Drip" - Offset & Metro Boomin (+5) -- The other songs from this collaboration from 21 Savage, Offset and Metro Boomin are all dying off. I wish this song would follow. But it doesn't seem to be climbing too fast, so let's hope it stalls out before gaining too much traction.
21- "Him & I" - G-Eazy & Halsey -- I suppose it makes sense for this collaboration to happen given that G-Eazy and Halsey are a couple right now. But given how much Halsey gushed about this song and how special it is to her via twitter and various interviews, I expected there to actually be something to this song. Halsey's chorus is perhaps the most generic and boring chorus you can think of for a love song while G-Eazy throws in two lazy rap verses between said chorus getting repeated over and over. I'm sure these two are madly in love with each other in real life, but it doesn't show in this song. Instead G-Eazy calls them the 2017 Bonnie and Clyde. I mean, does he know that Bonnie and Clyde were criminal masterminds in the 1930's. Yes, their story is really interesting, which ends with the definition of overkill as police fired a reported 130 rounds into their car to ambush them. But shouldn't there be a better romantic comparison that G-Eazy should be using? I don't know. G-Eazy is a boring rapper and Halsey is a boring female pop star. So this collaboration is about as boring as you might think. Halsey has more chemistry with Andrew Taggart on "Closer" and I'm pretty sure those two now hate each other given how much of a punk Taggart is.
61- "Kooda" - 6ix9ine -- Not only do we have 6ix9ine soaring into the top 15 this week, but that success caused him to chart another song as well. It's essentially the exact same song as "Gummo." In other words, it's equally as disturbing. I mean, if you ignore the lyrics of the song, I can see how this style of angry rap can be appealing. I prefer that over mumble rap. But this song is 6ix9ine yelling at me about the awful stuff him and his gang are doing or are planning on doing. A lot of gun references, murder references, sexual references and all of that awful stuff. I certainly hope all of his sexual references are at least assumed to be consensual with the females, because just looking at the lyrics it sounds an awful lot like he's bragging about his gang raping and murdering people. Lots of gang banging references and other lines such as "you gon' die tonight" followed by "black van, pull up to your momma crib, boy, tie her up, drive that s--- off a bridge, boy." Sorry if that's more information than you wanted to hear, but I'm just trying to prove a point about this guy's lyrics and how it's appalling if we're accepting this as good music deserving of popularity. If I missed the mark here, please tell me and try to explain to me how things lyrics aren't appalling.
93- "Juice" - Yo Gotti -- Yo Gotti has the fortunate timing of following a song wherein the guy is bragging about murdering people. So of course it can't get any worse. He's not yelling at me. He's not mumbling at me. He's just bragging about how he's got that juice. He says that juice in this context is having "it" whatever "it" is. So essentially bragging about how awesome he is, which is boring. I mean, this is from this guy's ninth studio album. And this is all he's coming up with. Super boring and dumb. But at least he's not yelling at me about how he's going to kill someone, so that's a plus, right?
95- "Bella y Sensual" - Romeo Santos featuring Nicky Jam & Daddy Yankee -- Ha! I don't need a translator to figure out what that title means. Beautiful and sensual. And I'm guessing that sensual is meaning more on the lines of sexy. And we have three guys singing, so they're all singing about one girl, right? That's some fine detective work on my part. All three of these Latino singers have a distinct personality, thus they play off each other rather well. Romeo has the super romantic voice, Nicky is more normal and down to earth while Daddy Yankee is the aggressive one. And all of this makes a lot of sense when I do a bit of translation. All three of them are competing for one girl. Romeo is going to try to serenade her. Nicky promises that he will treat her well. Daddy Yankee is the dominant personality as he feels like he wants to conquer her by showing his manliness and what not. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here wondering if this girl even wants any of them. Judging by the ear test alone, this isn't a Latino song that stands out from the crowd, but it's an alright one. I mostly like Romeo and Nicky playing off each other while Daddy Yankee is more jarring as he doesn't fit as well. I say they should've had a female singer in there and it would've been much better.
97- "Marry Me" - Thomas Rhett -- There's two songs titled "Marry Me" that I really like, one by Train and the other by Jason Derulo. I'm sure there's many more, but those two really stand out to me as super romantic songs that I'd want to play at my wedding reception. Could Thomas Rhett possibly add to that? It starts off that way, actually. He talks about how this girl wants to get married and he describes her dream wedding. So far so good. Then he turns it to his perspective and reveals to us that she wants to get married... but not to him. Oh poor little Thomas Rhett. Maybe if you would've treated her like an actual woman and not a potential object of your gratification, perhaps this story would've turned out nicer. Yes, I'm referring to his previous single "Craving You" which was really off-putting. I find out amusing how the two songs connect together. Thus this ends up as forgettable as the single that came between the two songs, which was ironically titled "Unforgettable."
98- "Five More Minutes" - Scotty McCreery -- Earlier this year we had Lauren Alaina show up on the charts in a couple of different songs. It seems fitting that we now have Scotty McCreery show up as well. Both of the finalists from the final season of "American Idol" that I ever watched. Because there was so much talent that year, yet the two that made it furthest were the least talented of the bunch. Especially not Scotty McCreery, who had a deep country voice, but nothing else. No range. No capability of writing or singing anything particularly interesting. But because "American Idol" was a popularity contest and not a music competition, the kid won. Now several years later since I've heard anything from him, he's still about as boring and lifeless as I remember. Granted, this is better than some country songs I've heard, but given that this song is a tribute to his late grandpa, I would've liked it if he brought up his grandpa at the beginning of the song and spent the whole song singing about him instead of boringly spending the whole song describing random moments where he wants five more minutes. Wanting five more minutes with his grandpa at the end of the song worked and was decently emotional for the untalented Scotty, but the rest of the song leading up to it was boring. Fans of Scotty should like this, though.
99- "Criminal" - Natti Natasha & Ozuna -- For the final song of the week, we have two additional Latino singers who are benefiting from the Latin Revolution on the Billboard charts thanks mainly to "Despacito." Although they fooled me at first because criminal is an English word. But apparently also a Spanish word. Sometimes the words are the same. In "Bella y Sensual" I said that the song could've used a female singer. Perhaps Natti Natasha could've been said girl because I like her and I think she would've worked well with Romeo and Nicky. Ozuna didn't stand out as much, but he provided a decent balance here. The problem with this specific song is that I looked up the lyrics and it seemed pretty basic as she's calling him a criminal for stealing his heart. Pretty cliche there. But if the beat works, I can often forgive that, especially since I'm less critical when I can't understand the lyrics. But the song feels like it's dragging. If there were a remix of this song that sped it up and made it more dancy song, I would've enjoyed this more. I do think it's the better of the two Latin songs on the charts this week, but I'm not overly impressed with either of them.
Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran & Beyonce (+2) -- Hallelujah! Billboard releases a video on their YouTube channel every Monday around noon with the new top 10 of the week and when I was watching that this week, I literally jumped for joy when I saw "Perfect" had dethroned "rockstar." I jumped up and did a fist pump in the air, screaming my excitement. We're technically not out of the water just yet as this week represents the first full week of sales for this new duet version of the song, thus meaning sales should take a dip next week, but let's hope it manages to stay on top next week because this is the song we all deserve at the top of the charts. It's such a pretty love song from Ed Sheeran that's enhanced with the addition of Beyonce, who by the way gets her first No. 1 hit this decade as her last No. 1 was her 2008 single "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)." The world of music has tried hard to give her this honor in 2017, but DJ Khaled's "Shining," J Balvin's "Mi Gente" and Eminem's "Walk on Water" all fell short of No. 1 with Beyonce attached. Fourth time's the charm, I suppose.
2- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (-1) -- I still can't believe we let this song sit and rot at the top of the charts for eight whole weeks. That's one of the most despicable things we've done all year. Next step is to somehow get rid of this song's streaming so it can start falling off. Perhaps we should permanently take away streaming privileges of everyone who thinks this song is a masterpiece because they're probably the same people who are streaming all the other awful rap songs as well.
3- "Havana" - Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug (-1) -- Camila just couldn't catch a break with this song. Even if she finally overcomes "rockstar," she'll be right back at No. 2 because she's not getting past Ed and Beyonce. The silver lining, though, is that "Havana" is now on top of the radio charts, dethroning "Thunder."
4- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (=) -- OK, I'm happy that this now seems stuck below the top three and that it arrived to late in the year to even think about making the end of year charts, but the next step is to remove this from the top five so it can then tumble out of the top 10 and get out of my life for good.
5- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (=) -- At this point, I would take "Thunder" moving up a spot if it meant dumping "Gucci Gang." But a better scenario would be to dump both of these songs. As I previously mentioned, this finally got dethroned on the radio, but said radio is still big enough for it to stubbornly stick around for a while longer.
6- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (=) -- I'm really happy that Sam Smith has finally stabilized on the charts. I would prefer this to go higher, but at least it's not going away. So I'll take that as a win. But if this could somehow jump ahead of "Gucci Gang" and "Thunder," that would be fantastic.
7- "No Limit" - G-Eazy featuring A$AP Rocky & Cardi B (+1) -- Cardi's tumble with "Bodak Yellow" is Cardi's gain with "No Limit." That's unfortunate really because "No Limit" is a piece of trash. Let's just hope that this doesn't get any higher.
8- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (+3) -- I saw this one coming. After The Chainsmokers put Halsey in the limelight for probably way longer than either act deserved with "Closer," many wondered if Halsey would be able to make it back to the top 10 on her own. Myself included. Turns out the answer to that is yes. And while I'm happy to have another female in the top 10 as our male/female ratio this year in the top 10 remains around a 75/25 proportion, Halsey's not exactly the female artist that I wanted in this region. I would've much rather had Dua Lipa, but she unfortunately got kicked down a few notches instead of going up, which makes me sad. I hope she can recover.
9- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)" - Cardi B (-2) -- It's quite likely that this is Cardi B's last week in the top 10 with "Bodak Yellow." While I've developed a semi-neutral feel towards it due to my hatred of everything else, I would still contend that in three months from now no one on planet earth will remember this song existed.
10- "What Lovers Do" - Maroon 5 featuring SZA (-1) -- At also makes me really happy that Maroon 5 hasn't been able to get much traction in the top 10 with this song. It's now celebrated four weeks in the top 10 with No. 9 being as high as it managed to get.
Rising on the Hot 100:
11- "All I Want for Christmas is You" - Mariah Carey (+10) -- Christmas season has finally arrived and Mariah Carey celebrated her annual re-entry onto the Billboard charts last week with her modern-day Christmas classic in "All I Want for Christmas is You." In previous years, the highest this song was able to get was No. 11, which is where it now stands in its second week of the season. Every year I wonder if this is the year it finally cracks the top 10 and boy it's looking like this just might be the year, which will have me ecstatic because this is a pretty good Christmas song.
Since I don't have a section for re-entries as I usually don't care that much, I will note here that other Christmas songs that returned to the Billboard charts this week are "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" by Brenda Lee at No. 37, "The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You)" by Nat King Cole at No. 42, "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" by Andy Williams at No. 45 and "A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives at No. 47. I hope they all have success this season and I imagine that we'll even get a few more as Christmas gets even closer. The Billboard rules are that they have to crack the top 50 and be gaining in several categories in order to justify their return.
13- "Gummo" - 6ix9ine (+41) -- Well this is concerning. Are people who are streaming this song paying any attention to what this thug is saying? It's a very disturbing song by a very disturbed individual and I'm baffled that we're giving this guy a career because he probably deserves to be in jail. At least he would if he ever followed through with anything he rapped about in this song. I imagine this got this high because of some sort of music video? If this ends up being top 10 material, that might be just as bad if not worse than "Gucci Gang."
14- "I Get the Bag" - Gucci Mane featuring Migos (+2) -- We stopped this song from entering the top 10 before as it previously peaked at No. 11. Let's repeat that and keep this song in the teens.
15- "MotorSport" - Migos, Nicki Minaj & Cardi B (+2) -- I'm surprised that this song has done nothing but hang around in the teens since debuting a month ago. I'm definitely not complaining, though, because the world needs to reject Migos and leave their disgustingly annoying style of rap in 2017.
22- "Let You Down" - NF (+7) -- Top 20 next week for the Christian rapper? That would excite me. Can we get this even higher by elevating it into the top 10? I'm not holding my breath for that, but I'd be happy if it did.
26- "How Long" - Charlie Puth (+6) -- How long to I have to suffer from Charlie Puth being on the charts before the world realizes that the man has no ounce of talent in him and starts to reject his bland, boring music?
29- "The Way Life Goes" - Lil Uzi Vert featuring Nicki Minaj (+10) -- Does anyone remember that Lil Uzi released an album back in September? I didn't think so. No surprise that the song with the Nicki feature is the only song from that album that's actually doing anything. There's certainly more offensive things making their way to the top right now, but I'd be really happy if we rejected Lil Uzi and left his untalented self in 2017 and just call him one of the many horrible mistakes.
31- "Meant to Be" - Bebe Rexha & Florida Georgia Line (+9) -- I'm pretty sure this is the top country song of the week. I'm glad they have things figured out at the moment. I'm also pretty sure that this is a perfect song to also be crossing over to pop radio, so I hope this can go even higher. If this ends up being Florida Georgia Line's best hit, I would be a happy man because this is one of the few times they've managed to impress me as they fit together quite well with Bebe.
35- "Sky Walker" - Miguel featuring Travis Scott (+20) -- I'm half tempted to believe that the only reason this song is getting any traction is because the new Star Wars movie is about to come out, which should be embarrassing for Miguel if any Star Wars fans actually read these lyrics because I'm also half tempted to believe that Miguel knows nothing about Star Wars. I mean, if he did, he'd be able to have more intelligent Star Wars references in his song, right?
39- "End Game" - Taylor Swift featuring Ed Sheeran & Future (+44) -- I told you I'd give you my thoughts on this song if Taylor's album ever debuted on Apple Music. It finally did. And while I give the album a B grade overall -- there's a combination of a lot to love and lot of meh -- this is by far the worst thing that Taylor put on the album. The combination of Taylor and Future goes together about as well as lathering your vanilla ice cream with barbecue sauce, pickles and onions. It's especially bad when Taylor tries to rap like Future towards the end of the song. And not to mention the lyrics are atrociously boring and bland. Taylor Swift wants to be her boyfriend's end game. And she claims that she doesn't like the drama. Ha! Yeah... right. The only thing that kinda brings a touch of life to the song is Ed Sheeran providing a kick of energy in his verse. I hope this isn't Taylor's idea of a new single after her others have already all failed. Instead she should try "New Years Day," "Dancing with Our Hands Tied" or "Delicate" because those might work out better for her.
44- "Ric Flair Drip" - Offset & Metro Boomin (+5) -- The other songs from this collaboration from 21 Savage, Offset and Metro Boomin are all dying off. I wish this song would follow. But it doesn't seem to be climbing too fast, so let's hope it stalls out before gaining too much traction.
New Arrivals:
21- "Him & I" - G-Eazy & Halsey -- I suppose it makes sense for this collaboration to happen given that G-Eazy and Halsey are a couple right now. But given how much Halsey gushed about this song and how special it is to her via twitter and various interviews, I expected there to actually be something to this song. Halsey's chorus is perhaps the most generic and boring chorus you can think of for a love song while G-Eazy throws in two lazy rap verses between said chorus getting repeated over and over. I'm sure these two are madly in love with each other in real life, but it doesn't show in this song. Instead G-Eazy calls them the 2017 Bonnie and Clyde. I mean, does he know that Bonnie and Clyde were criminal masterminds in the 1930's. Yes, their story is really interesting, which ends with the definition of overkill as police fired a reported 130 rounds into their car to ambush them. But shouldn't there be a better romantic comparison that G-Eazy should be using? I don't know. G-Eazy is a boring rapper and Halsey is a boring female pop star. So this collaboration is about as boring as you might think. Halsey has more chemistry with Andrew Taggart on "Closer" and I'm pretty sure those two now hate each other given how much of a punk Taggart is.
61- "Kooda" - 6ix9ine -- Not only do we have 6ix9ine soaring into the top 15 this week, but that success caused him to chart another song as well. It's essentially the exact same song as "Gummo." In other words, it's equally as disturbing. I mean, if you ignore the lyrics of the song, I can see how this style of angry rap can be appealing. I prefer that over mumble rap. But this song is 6ix9ine yelling at me about the awful stuff him and his gang are doing or are planning on doing. A lot of gun references, murder references, sexual references and all of that awful stuff. I certainly hope all of his sexual references are at least assumed to be consensual with the females, because just looking at the lyrics it sounds an awful lot like he's bragging about his gang raping and murdering people. Lots of gang banging references and other lines such as "you gon' die tonight" followed by "black van, pull up to your momma crib, boy, tie her up, drive that s--- off a bridge, boy." Sorry if that's more information than you wanted to hear, but I'm just trying to prove a point about this guy's lyrics and how it's appalling if we're accepting this as good music deserving of popularity. If I missed the mark here, please tell me and try to explain to me how things lyrics aren't appalling.
93- "Juice" - Yo Gotti -- Yo Gotti has the fortunate timing of following a song wherein the guy is bragging about murdering people. So of course it can't get any worse. He's not yelling at me. He's not mumbling at me. He's just bragging about how he's got that juice. He says that juice in this context is having "it" whatever "it" is. So essentially bragging about how awesome he is, which is boring. I mean, this is from this guy's ninth studio album. And this is all he's coming up with. Super boring and dumb. But at least he's not yelling at me about how he's going to kill someone, so that's a plus, right?
95- "Bella y Sensual" - Romeo Santos featuring Nicky Jam & Daddy Yankee -- Ha! I don't need a translator to figure out what that title means. Beautiful and sensual. And I'm guessing that sensual is meaning more on the lines of sexy. And we have three guys singing, so they're all singing about one girl, right? That's some fine detective work on my part. All three of these Latino singers have a distinct personality, thus they play off each other rather well. Romeo has the super romantic voice, Nicky is more normal and down to earth while Daddy Yankee is the aggressive one. And all of this makes a lot of sense when I do a bit of translation. All three of them are competing for one girl. Romeo is going to try to serenade her. Nicky promises that he will treat her well. Daddy Yankee is the dominant personality as he feels like he wants to conquer her by showing his manliness and what not. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here wondering if this girl even wants any of them. Judging by the ear test alone, this isn't a Latino song that stands out from the crowd, but it's an alright one. I mostly like Romeo and Nicky playing off each other while Daddy Yankee is more jarring as he doesn't fit as well. I say they should've had a female singer in there and it would've been much better.
97- "Marry Me" - Thomas Rhett -- There's two songs titled "Marry Me" that I really like, one by Train and the other by Jason Derulo. I'm sure there's many more, but those two really stand out to me as super romantic songs that I'd want to play at my wedding reception. Could Thomas Rhett possibly add to that? It starts off that way, actually. He talks about how this girl wants to get married and he describes her dream wedding. So far so good. Then he turns it to his perspective and reveals to us that she wants to get married... but not to him. Oh poor little Thomas Rhett. Maybe if you would've treated her like an actual woman and not a potential object of your gratification, perhaps this story would've turned out nicer. Yes, I'm referring to his previous single "Craving You" which was really off-putting. I find out amusing how the two songs connect together. Thus this ends up as forgettable as the single that came between the two songs, which was ironically titled "Unforgettable."
98- "Five More Minutes" - Scotty McCreery -- Earlier this year we had Lauren Alaina show up on the charts in a couple of different songs. It seems fitting that we now have Scotty McCreery show up as well. Both of the finalists from the final season of "American Idol" that I ever watched. Because there was so much talent that year, yet the two that made it furthest were the least talented of the bunch. Especially not Scotty McCreery, who had a deep country voice, but nothing else. No range. No capability of writing or singing anything particularly interesting. But because "American Idol" was a popularity contest and not a music competition, the kid won. Now several years later since I've heard anything from him, he's still about as boring and lifeless as I remember. Granted, this is better than some country songs I've heard, but given that this song is a tribute to his late grandpa, I would've liked it if he brought up his grandpa at the beginning of the song and spent the whole song singing about him instead of boringly spending the whole song describing random moments where he wants five more minutes. Wanting five more minutes with his grandpa at the end of the song worked and was decently emotional for the untalented Scotty, but the rest of the song leading up to it was boring. Fans of Scotty should like this, though.
99- "Criminal" - Natti Natasha & Ozuna -- For the final song of the week, we have two additional Latino singers who are benefiting from the Latin Revolution on the Billboard charts thanks mainly to "Despacito." Although they fooled me at first because criminal is an English word. But apparently also a Spanish word. Sometimes the words are the same. In "Bella y Sensual" I said that the song could've used a female singer. Perhaps Natti Natasha could've been said girl because I like her and I think she would've worked well with Romeo and Nicky. Ozuna didn't stand out as much, but he provided a decent balance here. The problem with this specific song is that I looked up the lyrics and it seemed pretty basic as she's calling him a criminal for stealing his heart. Pretty cliche there. But if the beat works, I can often forgive that, especially since I'm less critical when I can't understand the lyrics. But the song feels like it's dragging. If there were a remix of this song that sped it up and made it more dancy song, I would've enjoyed this more. I do think it's the better of the two Latin songs on the charts this week, but I'm not overly impressed with either of them.
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - December 16, 2017
The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to switch things up in the future, but for now this is what I'm sticking with. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!
1- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (=) -- I hate that we live in a world where a song as boring and unintelligent as "rockstar" is the No. 1 song for eight weeks in a row. If this were a week or two at the top, then whatever. I could shrug that off. But this is now one of the biggest songs of 2017 and is quickly climbing that decade chart as well. It's frustrating. It seems like it's on its way out as it's either peaked or declined in all categories. But none of the songs seem strong enough to catch it. I've decided that "Havana" is not going to be the song to do it. But it might have some surprise competition from "Perfect." I'll get to that in a second.
2- "Havana" - Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug (=) -- The numbers for "rockstar" vs. "Havana" are such that "rockstar" fell 8 percent in overall points, which is good, but "Havana" fell 14 percent in over points. After getting a good boost on streaming last week, "Havana" fell back down to earth with a 14 percent fall to 34.4 million U.S. streams. "rockstar" also fell in streaming, but only 9 percent to 50.5 million U.S. streams. And that's the difference as "Havana" has sizable gains in both radio and sales, but it doesn't seem to matter with how much emphasis is on streaming.
3- "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran (+2) -- The reason I say "Perfect" might have a decent chance of challenging "rockstar" for that top spot is that at the tail end of this week's tracking week, Ed Sheeran released a remix of the song that features Beyonce, that was able to push it to No. 3. Next week will be the first full week of tracking for the remix and kworb.net is currently estimating that the remix by itself is set to sell 110,000 sales while the original is getting around 70,000 sales thanks also to an iTunes discount. Radio also loves this song, so those numbers are continually rising, and if the remix also helps it give a boost on streaming, this could very well be No. 1 next week, which would I would be ecstatic about. Not just because I want "rockstar" gone (I never wanted it at the top in the first place), but I also love this song and the addition of Beyonce enhances the song as it transforms from a beautiful wedding ballad about a guy singing to a girl he loves into a beautiful duet where both members in this couple are singing about how much they love each other. While some remixes of late have seemed forced, this one feels natural. As if Ed Sheeran should've released this version first.
4- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (-1) -- The universe is balancing out. A couple of weeks ago I was ready to abandon all hope as I thought this was going No. 1. But now it is starting to tank on streaming, falling 20 percent to 39.6 million U.S. streams while also tanking in sales that it never really had in the first place (15,000 this week). I'm still angry that it got this high, but I'm happy that it might be heading out before too long.
5- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (-1) -- Now if only "Thunder" could die with "Gucci Gang." Unfortunately this is still holding decently well, no thanks to radio deciding they love this bland piece of garbage. I think its fall is more due to the surge of "Perfect." Either it stays at No. 5 next week or goes back up to No. 4.
6- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (+1) -- Here's a nice surprise. I was ready to be upset at the fact that it looked like this was heading out. But now it looks like it's officially going to be camping out for a while. At least in the bottom half of the top 10. I would love for this to gain more traction and camp out in the top five instead, but hey I'll take what I can get. I'm glad this is still here.
7- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)" - Cardi B (-1) -- Cardi B is thankfully on her way out. But hey, to her credit, she is much better than "rockstar," "Gucci Gang" or this other piece of trash, which she is also a part of, right below her.
8- "No Limit" - G-Eazy featuring A$AP Rocky & Cardi B (+3) -- I'm not surprised that this hit top 10. It's been slowly on the rise for quite some time now. But I'm still not happy about this. Now if this can be one of those songs that hangs out for a few weeks in the bottom half of the top 10 before quickly leaving, that would be a minor win for me. I hope that's more than wishful thinking.
9- "What Lovers Do" - Maroon 5 (+1) -- Not surprised at this minor jump. I imagine it has a few jumps left in it in the coming weeks with songs like "Bodak Yellow" falling, but I really hope this is a temporary stay in the bottom half of the top 10. The world doesn't need any more of Adam Levine or his essentially non-existent band Maroon 5. They forgot how to write good music a long time ago.
10- "Feel It Still" - Portugal. The Man (-2) -- This week we lost Demi Lovato's "Sorry Not Sorry" again as it falls back down after a bump from the AMAs. It was nice, though, that we got to keep Portugal. The Man for another week. I'm not sure if we'll get another hit from this band as it seems this might be another case of the song going viral as opposed to the artist themselves (that's how we get one hit wonders), but I'm really happy that this managed to be a very welcome bright spot in a very frustrating 2017. Let's please bring more songs like this onto the charts?
11- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (+3) -- Halsey looks like she is on the brink of getting her first top 10 as a solo artist after spending what seemed like an eternity in the top 10 thanks to the Chainsmokers and their song "Closer." I wish I could be happier for Halsey, but I'm really not. I'm not at the point of anger, though. I'm more in the middle with this song, not hating it, but not really caring about it either.
15- "New Rules" - Dua Lipa (+3) -- I would be super happy if Dua Lipa got to the top 10. With her now getting to the top 15 for the first time ever, it looks like she might be just a few weeks away from her first ever top 10. The world could use a few more female pop singers to gain popularity, so I'm glad the music gods have chosen Dua Lipa.
19- "I Fell Apart" - Post Malone (+2) -- I don't even hardly remember this song, so it somehow managed to surprise me by hitting top 20 this week. I remember "Candy Paint" from "The Fate of the Furious" soundtrack, which debuted like a month ago. But not this. I suppose I better start bracing this because for some horrible reason the music gods have selected Post Malone to be a superstar. So I went back and re-read my thoughts on this song from October. Oh yeah. This is the song where Post Malone grumbles and complains the whole song that he couldn't buy a girl's love with his fame and riches. No thanks. This can go away, please.
27- "Love." - Kendrick Lamar featuring Zacari (+12) -- So here's a pleasant surprise. Kendrick's whole album debuted on the charts earlier this year, causing me to listen to the whole thing, which turned out to be a great experience. A lot of the songs held well on the charts, but I didn't think that I would get another song promoted as a new single. So I was caught off guard that this song returned and is now getting a good push. But I love it because this is one of the better songs from that album. It follows the song "Lust.," which in turn follows "Pride." and "Humble." In context of the album, Kendrick is weaving together beautiful themes that are resonant and emotional. But "Love." also stands good on its own as it's a slow ballad for Kendrick as his smooth rap is balanced well with Zacari's high register, as the two talk about the simple desire to be loved. As I think about it, this could definitely crossover well with pop radio. So even if you are like me and you don't usually like rap, check this one out because you might like it.
29- "Let You Down" - NF (+19) -- A 19-spot jump for this Christian rap song? Man, we have quite a bit of good news this week. I didn't think this song was capable of having a very high ceiling, but I'm apparently very wrong as this seems to be catching on with pop radio. That surprises me, but doesn't disappoint me. Let's keep this going.
36- "Silence" - Marshmello featuring Khalid (+7) -- Last week I mentioned that I liked Khalid, but I didn't want "Young Dumb & Broke" as the song that gets popular. This is the song that I prefer and I'm glad to see that it's the song to gain traction this week. Khalid works quite well with Marshmello.
43- "Plain Jane" - A$AP Ferg (+7) -- Well, it can't all be good. We have a streak of dog crap rising in the 40's to finish off this section this week. I don't know which one I dislike more. I just want all of them to go away.
46- "Rubbin off the Paint" - YBN Nahmir (+6) -- I want all three of these songs to go away. We don't need this guy around.
49- "Ric Flair Drip" - Offset & Metro Boomin (+5) -- Did you hear me? I want all three of these songs to go away. And we certainly don't need any more of Offset.
28- "MIC Drop" - BTS featuring Desiigner -- BTS and Desiigner? What the heck? Who on planet earth asked for THAT collaboration? No, I take that back, who is the one who even thought of this? Now I'm going to risk being burned alive by the angry mob of BTS fans (believe me, they're there and they're LOUD) in order to say that these kids need to go back to Korea and leave us Americans alone. We don't need their trash on the American charts. No, I don't mind K-Pop. It's usually a fun genre. But I call these kids the Korean One Direction because there's like 90 of them who all sound the exact same. There's very little harmonies here. Just them taking turns singing the melody, a style that I've never liked when you have a group of people singing. Give each member of your group something to do instead of taking turns singing the melody. And then when I translate their lyrics, I see nothing special. To top things off, they have a giant mob of fans who worship the ground they walk on. So yeah. Korean One Direction. K1D.
But this song specifically is a chore. The original from their album is mostly in Korean and they're doing some Korean hip-hop where they're bragging about how awesome and famous they are. I hate when any rappers do that. Especially when it comes from a boy band who aren't very good at rapping and don't have any of the swag they think they do. But it's whatever. Yet they add Desiigner in and with this remix he takes the floor from the beginning and spends nearly half the song rambling on about a bunch of nonsense. Now listen. I didn't mind "Panda" and I even enjoyed "Timmy Turner." But this does not work for Desiigner at all. When BTS finally comes in, I don't need a translation because they spend most of their time rapping in English with a brief Korean outro to finish things off. And it's the exact same things they were saying when I looked up the translation of the original. Them bragging about how awesome they are. It's not interesting. To wrap this up, this remix is actually a Steve Aoki remix, which is completely unnecessary because this song was already electronic to begin with. Steve Aoki just put his little spin on it. The whole song screams cocky desperation from this group and I don't like it. Crucify me if you feel like it.
52- "Codeine Dreaming" - Kodak Black featuring Lil Wayne -- I thought we agreed to leave Kodak Black in 2017? Well, I suppose the year isn't over yet, so there's still time to abandon him. But if his success carries into 2018, I'm going to be angry. I almost quit listening to this specific song after the intro when Kodak was mumbling worse than anything he'd done before. But I carried on. His mumbling did get a little better, but he's spending the whole song talking about how he wants to do drugs and it would not surprise me if he was high on drugs during the whole writing and recording process. If you also love doing drugs, then I guess you might get along with Kodak and enjoy listening to this drug anthem while you do your drugs because you won't be able to coherently listen to the words anyways, which is OK because Kodak barely got them out. Lil Wayne comes in for a few seconds and repeats everything Kodak said the verse before. So you know, that's quite the collaboration. Lil Wayne didn't even sound like he wanted to be there. But does he ever?
86- "Krippy Kush" - Farruko, Nicki Minaj, Bad Bunny, 21 Savage & Rvssian -- The credits alone on this song just sounded disgusting. I didn't even know who Farruko was, but with who he brought in, I felt like I didn't want to. Turns out he's like the Latino Migos. And there's a version of this song without Nicki and 21 Savage, which is bad enough. Perhaps the worst of all the Spanish songs that have graced the Billboard charts this year. I mean it's like this, "krippy krippy krippy krippy krippy... kush kush kush kush kush." Super annoying. Give a horrid verse to both Nicki and 21 Savage in the remix and we have all kinds of problems with this song.
98- "Legends" - Kelsea Ballerini -- After three horrid experiences so far this week, I was really glad to get to Kelsea. I haven't quite gone through her album "Unapologetically" from earlier this year, but I'm excited to because I enjoy her brand of country-pop. While this specific song is nothing to write home about, it was definitely a great change of pace this week. Kelsea does bring her typical charm and grace here that makes this a very relaxing listen. I was going to say it is simple and short, but then I looked and realized it's four minutes long, which means it just goes by really fast because I enjoyed the whole song. I think she's had lyrics that were deeper and more meaningful, but the song has a good beat to it and Kelsea has a great voice that makes this work. When I go through the album, I'll let you know how this fits in with the rest of the album.
99- "Total Eclipse of the Heart" - Chloe Kohanski -- Oh, so we're back to "The Voice" again? How often does this show run? I don't actually know, nor do I really care to look it up again. But the YouTube clip I watched here claims we're in the Top 11 and the lone song from the week that broke onto the charts is this girl named Chloe Kohanski performing Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart." In terms of Bonnie Tyler's songs, this one is definitely her most popular song as well as her lone No. 1 hit on the Hot 100. I personally prefer "Holding out for a Hero," but this song is solid as well, even though I mostly think of the hilarious literal music video of the song, making fun of its ridiculous 80's music video. In terms of Chloe covering this song, her voice matches Bonnie Tyler's voice rather well, thus I think this was an excellent selection for her and she brought a lot of emotion to the table while performing it that had her in tears towards the end of the song, which I appreciated. But she did play things a bit safe. Bonnie brings a lot of power to the song that she slowly builds to throughout the song and I didn't quite get that same emotional satisfaction from Chloe. I felt she had the potential to belt it out just like Bonnie does, but she didn't. So it was a good performance. But I've heard much better from "The Voice." I like this girl's potential, though.
100- "Perro Fiel" - Shakira featuring Nicky Jam -- We end this week with an actually good Latino song, unlike whatever the heck that "Krippy Kush" garbage was. I glanced over the English translation of this song and it didn't seem anything too special or unique, but Shakira has always been one of my favorite Latino singers as I've enjoyed her regardless of whether she's singing in English or Spanish. Whatever her and Nicky Jam are talking about in this song, they do a good job of playing off each other and making this a good duet. And although I enjoy this song, when compared to other Shakira songs, this is a softer, more toned down song. Shakira holds back instead of bursting out with fire and passion. That's not always a bad thing, but in this instance I think it makes the song a bit forgettable. I feel that if I listened to this whole album, this would be a song that felt more like an album filler when compared to other songs on the album like "Me Enamore" or "Chantaje," both of which I still really enjoy. I guess I prefer Shakira when she's singing upbeat songs that make you want to jump up and dance while "Perro Fiel" is a song to play in the background.
Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (=) -- I hate that we live in a world where a song as boring and unintelligent as "rockstar" is the No. 1 song for eight weeks in a row. If this were a week or two at the top, then whatever. I could shrug that off. But this is now one of the biggest songs of 2017 and is quickly climbing that decade chart as well. It's frustrating. It seems like it's on its way out as it's either peaked or declined in all categories. But none of the songs seem strong enough to catch it. I've decided that "Havana" is not going to be the song to do it. But it might have some surprise competition from "Perfect." I'll get to that in a second.
2- "Havana" - Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug (=) -- The numbers for "rockstar" vs. "Havana" are such that "rockstar" fell 8 percent in overall points, which is good, but "Havana" fell 14 percent in over points. After getting a good boost on streaming last week, "Havana" fell back down to earth with a 14 percent fall to 34.4 million U.S. streams. "rockstar" also fell in streaming, but only 9 percent to 50.5 million U.S. streams. And that's the difference as "Havana" has sizable gains in both radio and sales, but it doesn't seem to matter with how much emphasis is on streaming.
3- "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran (+2) -- The reason I say "Perfect" might have a decent chance of challenging "rockstar" for that top spot is that at the tail end of this week's tracking week, Ed Sheeran released a remix of the song that features Beyonce, that was able to push it to No. 3. Next week will be the first full week of tracking for the remix and kworb.net is currently estimating that the remix by itself is set to sell 110,000 sales while the original is getting around 70,000 sales thanks also to an iTunes discount. Radio also loves this song, so those numbers are continually rising, and if the remix also helps it give a boost on streaming, this could very well be No. 1 next week, which would I would be ecstatic about. Not just because I want "rockstar" gone (I never wanted it at the top in the first place), but I also love this song and the addition of Beyonce enhances the song as it transforms from a beautiful wedding ballad about a guy singing to a girl he loves into a beautiful duet where both members in this couple are singing about how much they love each other. While some remixes of late have seemed forced, this one feels natural. As if Ed Sheeran should've released this version first.
4- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (-1) -- The universe is balancing out. A couple of weeks ago I was ready to abandon all hope as I thought this was going No. 1. But now it is starting to tank on streaming, falling 20 percent to 39.6 million U.S. streams while also tanking in sales that it never really had in the first place (15,000 this week). I'm still angry that it got this high, but I'm happy that it might be heading out before too long.
5- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (-1) -- Now if only "Thunder" could die with "Gucci Gang." Unfortunately this is still holding decently well, no thanks to radio deciding they love this bland piece of garbage. I think its fall is more due to the surge of "Perfect." Either it stays at No. 5 next week or goes back up to No. 4.
6- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (+1) -- Here's a nice surprise. I was ready to be upset at the fact that it looked like this was heading out. But now it looks like it's officially going to be camping out for a while. At least in the bottom half of the top 10. I would love for this to gain more traction and camp out in the top five instead, but hey I'll take what I can get. I'm glad this is still here.
7- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)" - Cardi B (-1) -- Cardi B is thankfully on her way out. But hey, to her credit, she is much better than "rockstar," "Gucci Gang" or this other piece of trash, which she is also a part of, right below her.
8- "No Limit" - G-Eazy featuring A$AP Rocky & Cardi B (+3) -- I'm not surprised that this hit top 10. It's been slowly on the rise for quite some time now. But I'm still not happy about this. Now if this can be one of those songs that hangs out for a few weeks in the bottom half of the top 10 before quickly leaving, that would be a minor win for me. I hope that's more than wishful thinking.
9- "What Lovers Do" - Maroon 5 (+1) -- Not surprised at this minor jump. I imagine it has a few jumps left in it in the coming weeks with songs like "Bodak Yellow" falling, but I really hope this is a temporary stay in the bottom half of the top 10. The world doesn't need any more of Adam Levine or his essentially non-existent band Maroon 5. They forgot how to write good music a long time ago.
10- "Feel It Still" - Portugal. The Man (-2) -- This week we lost Demi Lovato's "Sorry Not Sorry" again as it falls back down after a bump from the AMAs. It was nice, though, that we got to keep Portugal. The Man for another week. I'm not sure if we'll get another hit from this band as it seems this might be another case of the song going viral as opposed to the artist themselves (that's how we get one hit wonders), but I'm really happy that this managed to be a very welcome bright spot in a very frustrating 2017. Let's please bring more songs like this onto the charts?
Rising on the Hot 100:
11- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (+3) -- Halsey looks like she is on the brink of getting her first top 10 as a solo artist after spending what seemed like an eternity in the top 10 thanks to the Chainsmokers and their song "Closer." I wish I could be happier for Halsey, but I'm really not. I'm not at the point of anger, though. I'm more in the middle with this song, not hating it, but not really caring about it either.
15- "New Rules" - Dua Lipa (+3) -- I would be super happy if Dua Lipa got to the top 10. With her now getting to the top 15 for the first time ever, it looks like she might be just a few weeks away from her first ever top 10. The world could use a few more female pop singers to gain popularity, so I'm glad the music gods have chosen Dua Lipa.
19- "I Fell Apart" - Post Malone (+2) -- I don't even hardly remember this song, so it somehow managed to surprise me by hitting top 20 this week. I remember "Candy Paint" from "The Fate of the Furious" soundtrack, which debuted like a month ago. But not this. I suppose I better start bracing this because for some horrible reason the music gods have selected Post Malone to be a superstar. So I went back and re-read my thoughts on this song from October. Oh yeah. This is the song where Post Malone grumbles and complains the whole song that he couldn't buy a girl's love with his fame and riches. No thanks. This can go away, please.
27- "Love." - Kendrick Lamar featuring Zacari (+12) -- So here's a pleasant surprise. Kendrick's whole album debuted on the charts earlier this year, causing me to listen to the whole thing, which turned out to be a great experience. A lot of the songs held well on the charts, but I didn't think that I would get another song promoted as a new single. So I was caught off guard that this song returned and is now getting a good push. But I love it because this is one of the better songs from that album. It follows the song "Lust.," which in turn follows "Pride." and "Humble." In context of the album, Kendrick is weaving together beautiful themes that are resonant and emotional. But "Love." also stands good on its own as it's a slow ballad for Kendrick as his smooth rap is balanced well with Zacari's high register, as the two talk about the simple desire to be loved. As I think about it, this could definitely crossover well with pop radio. So even if you are like me and you don't usually like rap, check this one out because you might like it.
29- "Let You Down" - NF (+19) -- A 19-spot jump for this Christian rap song? Man, we have quite a bit of good news this week. I didn't think this song was capable of having a very high ceiling, but I'm apparently very wrong as this seems to be catching on with pop radio. That surprises me, but doesn't disappoint me. Let's keep this going.
36- "Silence" - Marshmello featuring Khalid (+7) -- Last week I mentioned that I liked Khalid, but I didn't want "Young Dumb & Broke" as the song that gets popular. This is the song that I prefer and I'm glad to see that it's the song to gain traction this week. Khalid works quite well with Marshmello.
43- "Plain Jane" - A$AP Ferg (+7) -- Well, it can't all be good. We have a streak of dog crap rising in the 40's to finish off this section this week. I don't know which one I dislike more. I just want all of them to go away.
46- "Rubbin off the Paint" - YBN Nahmir (+6) -- I want all three of these songs to go away. We don't need this guy around.
49- "Ric Flair Drip" - Offset & Metro Boomin (+5) -- Did you hear me? I want all three of these songs to go away. And we certainly don't need any more of Offset.
New Arrivals:
28- "MIC Drop" - BTS featuring Desiigner -- BTS and Desiigner? What the heck? Who on planet earth asked for THAT collaboration? No, I take that back, who is the one who even thought of this? Now I'm going to risk being burned alive by the angry mob of BTS fans (believe me, they're there and they're LOUD) in order to say that these kids need to go back to Korea and leave us Americans alone. We don't need their trash on the American charts. No, I don't mind K-Pop. It's usually a fun genre. But I call these kids the Korean One Direction because there's like 90 of them who all sound the exact same. There's very little harmonies here. Just them taking turns singing the melody, a style that I've never liked when you have a group of people singing. Give each member of your group something to do instead of taking turns singing the melody. And then when I translate their lyrics, I see nothing special. To top things off, they have a giant mob of fans who worship the ground they walk on. So yeah. Korean One Direction. K1D.
But this song specifically is a chore. The original from their album is mostly in Korean and they're doing some Korean hip-hop where they're bragging about how awesome and famous they are. I hate when any rappers do that. Especially when it comes from a boy band who aren't very good at rapping and don't have any of the swag they think they do. But it's whatever. Yet they add Desiigner in and with this remix he takes the floor from the beginning and spends nearly half the song rambling on about a bunch of nonsense. Now listen. I didn't mind "Panda" and I even enjoyed "Timmy Turner." But this does not work for Desiigner at all. When BTS finally comes in, I don't need a translation because they spend most of their time rapping in English with a brief Korean outro to finish things off. And it's the exact same things they were saying when I looked up the translation of the original. Them bragging about how awesome they are. It's not interesting. To wrap this up, this remix is actually a Steve Aoki remix, which is completely unnecessary because this song was already electronic to begin with. Steve Aoki just put his little spin on it. The whole song screams cocky desperation from this group and I don't like it. Crucify me if you feel like it.
52- "Codeine Dreaming" - Kodak Black featuring Lil Wayne -- I thought we agreed to leave Kodak Black in 2017? Well, I suppose the year isn't over yet, so there's still time to abandon him. But if his success carries into 2018, I'm going to be angry. I almost quit listening to this specific song after the intro when Kodak was mumbling worse than anything he'd done before. But I carried on. His mumbling did get a little better, but he's spending the whole song talking about how he wants to do drugs and it would not surprise me if he was high on drugs during the whole writing and recording process. If you also love doing drugs, then I guess you might get along with Kodak and enjoy listening to this drug anthem while you do your drugs because you won't be able to coherently listen to the words anyways, which is OK because Kodak barely got them out. Lil Wayne comes in for a few seconds and repeats everything Kodak said the verse before. So you know, that's quite the collaboration. Lil Wayne didn't even sound like he wanted to be there. But does he ever?
86- "Krippy Kush" - Farruko, Nicki Minaj, Bad Bunny, 21 Savage & Rvssian -- The credits alone on this song just sounded disgusting. I didn't even know who Farruko was, but with who he brought in, I felt like I didn't want to. Turns out he's like the Latino Migos. And there's a version of this song without Nicki and 21 Savage, which is bad enough. Perhaps the worst of all the Spanish songs that have graced the Billboard charts this year. I mean it's like this, "krippy krippy krippy krippy krippy... kush kush kush kush kush." Super annoying. Give a horrid verse to both Nicki and 21 Savage in the remix and we have all kinds of problems with this song.
98- "Legends" - Kelsea Ballerini -- After three horrid experiences so far this week, I was really glad to get to Kelsea. I haven't quite gone through her album "Unapologetically" from earlier this year, but I'm excited to because I enjoy her brand of country-pop. While this specific song is nothing to write home about, it was definitely a great change of pace this week. Kelsea does bring her typical charm and grace here that makes this a very relaxing listen. I was going to say it is simple and short, but then I looked and realized it's four minutes long, which means it just goes by really fast because I enjoyed the whole song. I think she's had lyrics that were deeper and more meaningful, but the song has a good beat to it and Kelsea has a great voice that makes this work. When I go through the album, I'll let you know how this fits in with the rest of the album.
99- "Total Eclipse of the Heart" - Chloe Kohanski -- Oh, so we're back to "The Voice" again? How often does this show run? I don't actually know, nor do I really care to look it up again. But the YouTube clip I watched here claims we're in the Top 11 and the lone song from the week that broke onto the charts is this girl named Chloe Kohanski performing Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart." In terms of Bonnie Tyler's songs, this one is definitely her most popular song as well as her lone No. 1 hit on the Hot 100. I personally prefer "Holding out for a Hero," but this song is solid as well, even though I mostly think of the hilarious literal music video of the song, making fun of its ridiculous 80's music video. In terms of Chloe covering this song, her voice matches Bonnie Tyler's voice rather well, thus I think this was an excellent selection for her and she brought a lot of emotion to the table while performing it that had her in tears towards the end of the song, which I appreciated. But she did play things a bit safe. Bonnie brings a lot of power to the song that she slowly builds to throughout the song and I didn't quite get that same emotional satisfaction from Chloe. I felt she had the potential to belt it out just like Bonnie does, but she didn't. So it was a good performance. But I've heard much better from "The Voice." I like this girl's potential, though.
100- "Perro Fiel" - Shakira featuring Nicky Jam -- We end this week with an actually good Latino song, unlike whatever the heck that "Krippy Kush" garbage was. I glanced over the English translation of this song and it didn't seem anything too special or unique, but Shakira has always been one of my favorite Latino singers as I've enjoyed her regardless of whether she's singing in English or Spanish. Whatever her and Nicky Jam are talking about in this song, they do a good job of playing off each other and making this a good duet. And although I enjoy this song, when compared to other Shakira songs, this is a softer, more toned down song. Shakira holds back instead of bursting out with fire and passion. That's not always a bad thing, but in this instance I think it makes the song a bit forgettable. I feel that if I listened to this whole album, this would be a song that felt more like an album filler when compared to other songs on the album like "Me Enamore" or "Chantaje," both of which I still really enjoy. I guess I prefer Shakira when she's singing upbeat songs that make you want to jump up and dance while "Perro Fiel" is a song to play in the background.
Wednesday, November 29, 2017
DrogeMiester's Billboard Analysis - December 9, 2017
The new Billboard charts have arrived and so it's time again for me to give you my thoughts! In this weekly post, I cover three sections. First, I give my thoughts on the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. Second, I give my thoughts on the songs that experienced significant gains below the top 10. Third, I give my initial thoughts on our new arrivals this week. I reserve the right to switch things up in the future, but for now this is what I'm sticking with. I've followed the Billboard charts for a long time now and this is a great way for me to express my thoughts to the world. I hope you enjoy!
1- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (=) -- What are we doing, America? Why in the name of everything that's good and right in the world did we give Post Malone seven weeks at No. 1? Can we get over ourselves, call this an extreme embarrassment that we let such a boring song delivered by such poor talent do this well and move on with life? Holding this song up, once again, is the monstrous streaming, which, after several weeks of declining, has now had a major increase for the second straight week as it jumps up 12 percent to 55.3 million U.S. streams. I'm not sure why it got the boost last week, but this week it's because Post Malone finally dropped the official video instead of just having that weird black snake/barbed wire official audio thing. Maybe that means next week it will drop in streaming and let "Havana" take a turn at the top because "Havana" is now owning "rockstar" on both sales and radio. And for your useless fact of the week courtesy of Gary Trust's weekly article on Billboard.com, "rockstar" has tied the record for most weeks at No. 1 for a song with the word "rock" somewhere in the title. The tie is with Joan Jett & the Blackhearts' "I Love Rock & Roll."
2- "Havana" - Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug (=) -- If you're curious about official numbers, "rockstar" leads the charts with 55.3 million U.S streams (up 12 percent), 58,000 sales (up 10 percent) and 86 million in radio audience (up 6 percent). "Havana" this week has 40.2 million U.S. streams (up 20 percent), 85,000 sales (up 14 percent) and 105 million in radio audience (up 20 percent). So yeah, it gained a lot of momentum this week and is only trailing in streaming. Perhaps Billboard needs to adjust their formula to not put so much emphasis on streaming, because that's where all the awful songs are coming from, anyways.
3- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (=) -- This songs stays put this week at No. 3 instead of jumping higher like I feared it would. So we're going to call that a momentary win.
4- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (=) -- Imagine Dragons also stays put. In case you're a fan of this empty, lifeless song, don't get your hopes up that this is getting any higher, because, despite a lead on radio, streaming is M.I.A. compared to the top three, so this ain't going anywhere. I personally hope the radio drops it and causes it to fall.
5- "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran (+2) -- It's good to see Ed Sheeran in the top five because now we have another song that's actually worthy of this status. It was frustrating to only have "Havana" to cheer for in the top five last week. I'm not even madly in love with "Havana," but it's the only song that was even decent. Ed Sheeran gets a lot of hate from certain crowds, but come on. Wouldn't you rather have a pretty love ballad towards the top than all this disgusting rap music?
6- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)" - Cardi B (-1) -- We let Cardi B get 14 weeks in the top five. That was probably 14 weeks too long. But hey, I've warmed up on this song just a tiny bit for the sole reason that it's much better than "rockstar" and "Gucci Gang," even though that's not saying much. I'd be willing to give this song another few weeks if it meant getting rid of the other two. But the best situation would be to simply get rid of all three of them and replace them with good songs.
7- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (-1) -- On the one hand, I'm glad that this has enough traction to not fall out of the top 10. But on the other, I wish it had more traction to actually make an impact in the top five. If this became our No. 1 hit I would be really happy because it's easily the best song in the top 10 right now
8- "Feel It Still" - Portugal. The Man (+1) -- We got rid of Logic this week as well as "Mi Gente," but we kept Portugal. The Man for another week! That made me happy. I don't know how much longer this has left, but I'll take as many weeks as I can get.
9- "Sorry Not Sorry" - Demi Lovato (+3) -- Welcome back to the top 10, Demi! I believe this got a boost because Demi performed this at the American Music Awards. In fact, that also helped "Feel It Still" and "Thunder" this week. So I imagine this will drop out again next week, but it was good to have it back.
10- "What Lovers Do" - Maroon 5 featuring SZA (+1) -- I'm not surprised to see this back. But I would prefer it if it didn't get much higher than this. At least stay in the bottom half of the top 10. That would be nice.
11- "No Limit" - G-Eazy featuring A$AP Rocky & Cardi B (+2) -- I dread the day that this sneaks into the top 10. Each new week I think that this will be the week. And it looks like next week will be the week. But wouldn't it be great if this instead got stuck at No. 11?
14- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (+3) -- Halsey also seems headed for the top 10. Although I don't envision this getting too high when it gets there.
15- "Bank Account" - 21 Savage (+12) -- This song keeps haunting me. Why won't it go away for good, already?
19- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (+3) -- "Despacito" got nominated for both record of the year and song of the year. In record of the year, it's competing against "Redbone" by Childish Gambino, "The Story of O.J." by JAY-Z, "HUMBLE." by Kendrick Lamar and "24K Magic" by Bruno Mars. In song of the year, it's competing against "4:44" by JAY-Z, "Issues" by Julia Michaels, "1-800-273-8255" by Logic and "That's What I Like" by Bruno Mars. Outside the Bruno Mars songs, that's not a bad group of songs even though that's not the selection of songs I was expecting. Grammy's are kinda random like that. Sometimes I feel they pick their nominations out of a hat.
20- "Wolves" - Selena Gomez & Marshmello (+31) -- This song was also performed at the AMAs in addition to having its video drop recently. So it's a double whammy with the chart points. I'm certainly happy. I would love this song to go top 10 because Selena and Marshmello are perfect for each other.
22- "Young Dumb & Broke" - Khalid (+7) -- If I'm right, there was a performance at the AMAs that was a medley of "Thunder" and "Young Dumb & Broke." That sounds like a strange medley and I'm not curious enough to figure out how that turned out. But it explains why this song hits a new high. Honestly not my favorite thing Khalid has done. I support him in general, but not with this song, really.
29- "Gummo" - 6ix9ine (+29) -- Ew gross. Get this song the heck away from here. Mr. violent temper-tantrum should be far away from the Billboard charts, not soaring up it. Please let this be a one-week thing.
34- "How Long" - Charlie Puth (+6) -- Oh dear. The radio continuing their confusing love affair with bland, boring Charlie Puth once again. Make it stop!
42- "Meant to Be" - Bebe Rexha & Florida Georgia Line (+9) -- This I support. Bebe's dip into country pop really works. Pop radio and country radio should be blasting this song, so I hope it continues to soar higher.
52- "Rubbin off the Paint" - YBN Nahmir (+28) -- Well, at least this song isn't YBN rapping about killing people 6ix9ine, but it's been two weeks and I had totally forgot that this boring piece of nonsense from a punk 17-year-old kid even existed. All these boring SoundCloud rap songs just combine into one big mess of awfulness for me.
63- "Lemon" - N.E.R.D & Rihanna (+16) -- I expected this song to start soaring up the charts, but it fell last week after its debut two weeks ago, so I guess I'll just have to wait and see if this actually catches on or just hangs around for a couple of months on the bottom half of the charts before going away. I'd be down with it becoming a hit because this is a fun song and we could use more fun songs right now.
66- "Candy Paint" - Post Malone (+12) -- This forgettable song from "Fate of the Furious" gaining traction thanks to Post Malone somehow celebrating seven weeks at No. 1 with his other song. Here's to hoping this doesn't become his next big hit, because I don't want him having anymore of those, like ever.
69- "Betrayed" - Lil Xan (+24) -- More SoundCloud nonsense rising. At least Lil Xan tried to make this an anti-drug song even though he got distracted on the verses. But no, I hope this disappears soon, too.
74- "Mayores" - Becky G featuring Bad Bunny (+10) -- Sure. I'll take Becky G and Bad Bunny. Bring this to the top 50!
87- "Too Much to Ask" - Niall Horan (+12) -- Is it too much for me to ask for me to hope Niall Horan goes away? This disappeared for a month or so before re-entering last week. I suppose I can't complain too much because 87 isn't very high at all.
47- Échame La Culpa" - Luis Fonsi & Demi Lovato -- It's Fonsi's follow-up to "Desapacito." Instead of doing a pure Latino song first and then remixing it with an English-speaking singer later, he gets straight to the point and features Demi on his song, with both singing in both English and Spanish during the song. This actually works really well. While Bieber's "Despacito" remix feels a bit forced and done just for the sake of popularity on the U.S. Billboard charts, Demi feels more natural, even if Fonsi's motivations for singing with her may be the same. You can't get a Latino song popular in the U.S. without including an American singer, right? But perhaps Demi feels more natural because she does have Mexican heritage through her father's line. I'm guessing this isn't the first time she's spoken or sang in Spanish. But if it is, then good on her. She sounds like a natural. If you are one who felt "Despacito" was annoying, I'm predicting you'll find this one less annoying. It's less in your face and less catchy, but it's also a really nice tune that I enjoy. I also think the lyrics are better than "Despacito." And I don't have to look up the English translation to figure it out because there's a lot of English in the song. But looking up that translation, it supports the idea that this is a song where the two lovers are putting the blame on themselves rather than putting the blame on the other. That's refreshing. I highly doubt this will become the next "Desapcito" for Fonsi, but I hope it has a decent run.
79- "Awful Things" - Lil Peep -- This is a song who's title describes most of 2017's music. I rolled my eyes when I saw this because someone by the name of Lil Peep releasing a song called "Awful Things" just sounded like another horrible SoundCloud rapper that I didn't want to deal with. But speaking of awful things, I looked up Lil Peep and learned that he died of a drug overdose a few weeks ago on November 15, which is probably why this song is here. When I read about him, he was labeled as an emo hip-hop artist whose songs were about very depressing subjects such as drug use and suicide. This song is definitely emo as he sounds angry that this relationship has been burned down to the ground as he wants the girl to say awful things to him so that it helps him get through things without her. But this song isn't rap or hip-hop. This is more like alternative rock. Which makes me curious to know how much like Linkin Park this whole album sounds like. I wonder how I would've felt about this guy had he not just passed away, but would this have charted if he were still alive? As is, it's kinda sad and somber listening to this in context. This is certainly much better than most of the awful things that have hit the charts this year.
86- "End Game" - Taylor Swift featuring Ed Sheeran & Future -- Taylor Swift still hasn't released her album on any streaming platforms, so I will forgo giving my opinion on this until I have a way of listening to it. I will say that Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran sounds like a good collaboration. We've had that before on her album "Red" with the song "Everything Has Changed," which is a song I enjoy. Including Future, though, does not sound like a good idea. He usually ruins everything he touches. Because of that, I'm not expecting to like this song when I'm able to hear it.
90- "Home" - Machine Gun Kelly, X Ambassadors & Bebe Rexha -- Machine Gun Kelly. A white boy rapper that thinks he's a lot more cool than he is, but is no where close to the levels of the likes of Eminem and Macklemore. At the same time, though, I find him more tolerable than most of the rappers that come through the charts. On this song, MGK is talking about home in a way that's not anything special or unique when compared to the million other songs that are also titled "Home." But it's serviceable. We get a break from MGK on the verses, which is X Ambassadors and Bebe Rexha, who really feel more like afterthoughts on this song. Especially Bebe. I really like her as a singer, but she's used as more of a backup singer on this song, which is unfortunate. If MGK would've given her more to do, I would've been happier. Then we could've left X Ambassadors as the afterthought on the chorus. So overall this song comes off as very average. And when I noticed it's from the upcoming Netflix movie "The Bright," things made sense. It feels perfect as a serviceable filler track on a movie. If this is the big song this movie will be leaning on, that's a bit worrisome.
92- "When We" - Tank -- This song's titled followed by the artist name made me laugh. "When We Tank" should be a song about a losing sports team who's decided to tank for a good draft pick. But no, the artist calls himself Tank and his song is "When We." My question going in was, when we... what? Was this going to be a vague, meaningless song talking about nothing? That's not quite what we get here. The answer to this is, when we... make love with each other. And that's me editing it. So we have a slow, boring song from an R&B artist about making love with a girl that is neither sexy, nor interesting. In fact he's acting like an aggressive jerk in this song, sleeping with her not because he cares about her, but because he wants his own personal pleasure. Yeah, get this song away from me.
95- "Beautiful Trauma" - P!nk -- "Beautiful Trauma" is the second single from P!nk's new album, also called "Beautiful Trauma." It makes sense for her to release the title track from the album as her next single, even though I've been expecting her to release the Eminem collaboration "Revenge," especially since his new album is coming up. Seems like the perfect chance. But oh well. I'll take this song. I don't like it quite as much as "What About Us," but the idea of beautiful trauma is an interesting one. As P!nk said on twitter, life is very traumatic, but also quite beautiful with lots of great people. I also like the phrase in the song "my perfect rock bottom." With this being the opening track, it's a great way to open the album before we dive into all the other themes P!nk discusses.
96- "No Smoke" - YoungBoy Never Broke Again -- This is not a name I was excited to see on the charts again. But I guess we're making YoungBoy a thing. The hook in this song isn't bad, so I'll give him that. It made me wonder if this would be a tolerable rap song, but then we got to the verses and YoungBoy pushed on the gas really hard, but he didn't seem ready for it as he slurs, mumbles and falls all over himself as he crashes through those verses. As if he wrote the song without practicing it, then went straight to the studio where he recorded the song for the first time and turned it into a train wreck, but was too lazy to go back and smooth it out. That's all I got here.
98- "The Rest of Our Life" - Tim McGraw & Faith Hill -- Isn't it sweet and romantic? Tim McGraw and Faith Hill finally made an album together! And this is the song that starts the album off as Tim and Faith tell each other how much they love each other and how they will always feel young for the rest of their lives. It's kind of a sweet, mushy song that I don't really care for too much for. They have great chemistry as a couple and I'm sure those who have been fans of these two will really love this album, but I've never really cared too much for Tim McGraw. I sometimes have liked Faith Hill. But I don't know, this song just doesn't connect with me like romantic wedding songs should. I'm sure they had fun doing this and I'm sure people will like it, but it's just not for me.
99- "Written in the Sand" - Old Dominion -- Another country song that I don't really care for. That means we're 0 for 2 this week with our country songs this week. Whoever the singer is in Old Dominion, I don't care enough to look it up, he's trying to figure out what his relationship is with this girl. He can't decide if they were written in the stars and simply need to work things out or if they're written in the sand and are destined to be washed away. It feels kinda empty to me, lacking any depth or true meaning. At least Tim and Faith seemed to be having a good time with their song.
100- "Faking It" - Calvin Harris featuring Kehlani & Lil Yachty -- I recently listened to Calvin Harris' new album "Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 1" from earlier this year as the whole album showed up on the EDM charts during the summer. I usually enjoy Calvin Harris as more of a guilty pleasure EDM artist. Most of his songs are extremely simple and mostly the same, but he has a knack for coming up with a good enough beat that his songs grow on me as fun, harmless EDM songs that are worthy of playing at dance parties. This whole album was a mess, though. "Slide" and "Cash Out" were decent enough to start the album, but the rest of the album was completely uninteresting as he tried to cash in on the huge wave of hip-hop. Every single song has a different hip-hop artist featured and most songs also include a popular pop star tagging along as well. And it doesn't work for me. None of the songs are interesting. And none of them have the classic Calvin Harris beat that makes his song so fun at dance parties. With this song, Kehlani is droning on in boring fashion for most of the song, giving us cliche, boring pop lyrics while Lil Yachty comes in for a third verse feature. There's no drop. No dance beat. Little sign at all of Calvin Harris.
Billboard Hot 100 Top 10:
1- "rockstar" - Post Malone featuring 21 Savage (=) -- What are we doing, America? Why in the name of everything that's good and right in the world did we give Post Malone seven weeks at No. 1? Can we get over ourselves, call this an extreme embarrassment that we let such a boring song delivered by such poor talent do this well and move on with life? Holding this song up, once again, is the monstrous streaming, which, after several weeks of declining, has now had a major increase for the second straight week as it jumps up 12 percent to 55.3 million U.S. streams. I'm not sure why it got the boost last week, but this week it's because Post Malone finally dropped the official video instead of just having that weird black snake/barbed wire official audio thing. Maybe that means next week it will drop in streaming and let "Havana" take a turn at the top because "Havana" is now owning "rockstar" on both sales and radio. And for your useless fact of the week courtesy of Gary Trust's weekly article on Billboard.com, "rockstar" has tied the record for most weeks at No. 1 for a song with the word "rock" somewhere in the title. The tie is with Joan Jett & the Blackhearts' "I Love Rock & Roll."
2- "Havana" - Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug (=) -- If you're curious about official numbers, "rockstar" leads the charts with 55.3 million U.S streams (up 12 percent), 58,000 sales (up 10 percent) and 86 million in radio audience (up 6 percent). "Havana" this week has 40.2 million U.S. streams (up 20 percent), 85,000 sales (up 14 percent) and 105 million in radio audience (up 20 percent). So yeah, it gained a lot of momentum this week and is only trailing in streaming. Perhaps Billboard needs to adjust their formula to not put so much emphasis on streaming, because that's where all the awful songs are coming from, anyways.
3- "Gucci Gang" - Lil Pump (=) -- This songs stays put this week at No. 3 instead of jumping higher like I feared it would. So we're going to call that a momentary win.
4- "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons (=) -- Imagine Dragons also stays put. In case you're a fan of this empty, lifeless song, don't get your hopes up that this is getting any higher, because, despite a lead on radio, streaming is M.I.A. compared to the top three, so this ain't going anywhere. I personally hope the radio drops it and causes it to fall.
5- "Perfect" - Ed Sheeran (+2) -- It's good to see Ed Sheeran in the top five because now we have another song that's actually worthy of this status. It was frustrating to only have "Havana" to cheer for in the top five last week. I'm not even madly in love with "Havana," but it's the only song that was even decent. Ed Sheeran gets a lot of hate from certain crowds, but come on. Wouldn't you rather have a pretty love ballad towards the top than all this disgusting rap music?
6- "Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)" - Cardi B (-1) -- We let Cardi B get 14 weeks in the top five. That was probably 14 weeks too long. But hey, I've warmed up on this song just a tiny bit for the sole reason that it's much better than "rockstar" and "Gucci Gang," even though that's not saying much. I'd be willing to give this song another few weeks if it meant getting rid of the other two. But the best situation would be to simply get rid of all three of them and replace them with good songs.
7- "Too Good at Goodbyes" - Sam Smith (-1) -- On the one hand, I'm glad that this has enough traction to not fall out of the top 10. But on the other, I wish it had more traction to actually make an impact in the top five. If this became our No. 1 hit I would be really happy because it's easily the best song in the top 10 right now
8- "Feel It Still" - Portugal. The Man (+1) -- We got rid of Logic this week as well as "Mi Gente," but we kept Portugal. The Man for another week! That made me happy. I don't know how much longer this has left, but I'll take as many weeks as I can get.
9- "Sorry Not Sorry" - Demi Lovato (+3) -- Welcome back to the top 10, Demi! I believe this got a boost because Demi performed this at the American Music Awards. In fact, that also helped "Feel It Still" and "Thunder" this week. So I imagine this will drop out again next week, but it was good to have it back.
10- "What Lovers Do" - Maroon 5 featuring SZA (+1) -- I'm not surprised to see this back. But I would prefer it if it didn't get much higher than this. At least stay in the bottom half of the top 10. That would be nice.
Rising on the Hot 100:
11- "No Limit" - G-Eazy featuring A$AP Rocky & Cardi B (+2) -- I dread the day that this sneaks into the top 10. Each new week I think that this will be the week. And it looks like next week will be the week. But wouldn't it be great if this instead got stuck at No. 11?
14- "Bad at Love" - Halsey (+3) -- Halsey also seems headed for the top 10. Although I don't envision this getting too high when it gets there.
15- "Bank Account" - 21 Savage (+12) -- This song keeps haunting me. Why won't it go away for good, already?
19- "Despacito" - Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber (+3) -- "Despacito" got nominated for both record of the year and song of the year. In record of the year, it's competing against "Redbone" by Childish Gambino, "The Story of O.J." by JAY-Z, "HUMBLE." by Kendrick Lamar and "24K Magic" by Bruno Mars. In song of the year, it's competing against "4:44" by JAY-Z, "Issues" by Julia Michaels, "1-800-273-8255" by Logic and "That's What I Like" by Bruno Mars. Outside the Bruno Mars songs, that's not a bad group of songs even though that's not the selection of songs I was expecting. Grammy's are kinda random like that. Sometimes I feel they pick their nominations out of a hat.
20- "Wolves" - Selena Gomez & Marshmello (+31) -- This song was also performed at the AMAs in addition to having its video drop recently. So it's a double whammy with the chart points. I'm certainly happy. I would love this song to go top 10 because Selena and Marshmello are perfect for each other.
22- "Young Dumb & Broke" - Khalid (+7) -- If I'm right, there was a performance at the AMAs that was a medley of "Thunder" and "Young Dumb & Broke." That sounds like a strange medley and I'm not curious enough to figure out how that turned out. But it explains why this song hits a new high. Honestly not my favorite thing Khalid has done. I support him in general, but not with this song, really.
29- "Gummo" - 6ix9ine (+29) -- Ew gross. Get this song the heck away from here. Mr. violent temper-tantrum should be far away from the Billboard charts, not soaring up it. Please let this be a one-week thing.
34- "How Long" - Charlie Puth (+6) -- Oh dear. The radio continuing their confusing love affair with bland, boring Charlie Puth once again. Make it stop!
42- "Meant to Be" - Bebe Rexha & Florida Georgia Line (+9) -- This I support. Bebe's dip into country pop really works. Pop radio and country radio should be blasting this song, so I hope it continues to soar higher.
52- "Rubbin off the Paint" - YBN Nahmir (+28) -- Well, at least this song isn't YBN rapping about killing people 6ix9ine, but it's been two weeks and I had totally forgot that this boring piece of nonsense from a punk 17-year-old kid even existed. All these boring SoundCloud rap songs just combine into one big mess of awfulness for me.
63- "Lemon" - N.E.R.D & Rihanna (+16) -- I expected this song to start soaring up the charts, but it fell last week after its debut two weeks ago, so I guess I'll just have to wait and see if this actually catches on or just hangs around for a couple of months on the bottom half of the charts before going away. I'd be down with it becoming a hit because this is a fun song and we could use more fun songs right now.
66- "Candy Paint" - Post Malone (+12) -- This forgettable song from "Fate of the Furious" gaining traction thanks to Post Malone somehow celebrating seven weeks at No. 1 with his other song. Here's to hoping this doesn't become his next big hit, because I don't want him having anymore of those, like ever.
69- "Betrayed" - Lil Xan (+24) -- More SoundCloud nonsense rising. At least Lil Xan tried to make this an anti-drug song even though he got distracted on the verses. But no, I hope this disappears soon, too.
74- "Mayores" - Becky G featuring Bad Bunny (+10) -- Sure. I'll take Becky G and Bad Bunny. Bring this to the top 50!
87- "Too Much to Ask" - Niall Horan (+12) -- Is it too much for me to ask for me to hope Niall Horan goes away? This disappeared for a month or so before re-entering last week. I suppose I can't complain too much because 87 isn't very high at all.
New Arrivals:
47- Échame La Culpa" - Luis Fonsi & Demi Lovato -- It's Fonsi's follow-up to "Desapacito." Instead of doing a pure Latino song first and then remixing it with an English-speaking singer later, he gets straight to the point and features Demi on his song, with both singing in both English and Spanish during the song. This actually works really well. While Bieber's "Despacito" remix feels a bit forced and done just for the sake of popularity on the U.S. Billboard charts, Demi feels more natural, even if Fonsi's motivations for singing with her may be the same. You can't get a Latino song popular in the U.S. without including an American singer, right? But perhaps Demi feels more natural because she does have Mexican heritage through her father's line. I'm guessing this isn't the first time she's spoken or sang in Spanish. But if it is, then good on her. She sounds like a natural. If you are one who felt "Despacito" was annoying, I'm predicting you'll find this one less annoying. It's less in your face and less catchy, but it's also a really nice tune that I enjoy. I also think the lyrics are better than "Despacito." And I don't have to look up the English translation to figure it out because there's a lot of English in the song. But looking up that translation, it supports the idea that this is a song where the two lovers are putting the blame on themselves rather than putting the blame on the other. That's refreshing. I highly doubt this will become the next "Desapcito" for Fonsi, but I hope it has a decent run.
79- "Awful Things" - Lil Peep -- This is a song who's title describes most of 2017's music. I rolled my eyes when I saw this because someone by the name of Lil Peep releasing a song called "Awful Things" just sounded like another horrible SoundCloud rapper that I didn't want to deal with. But speaking of awful things, I looked up Lil Peep and learned that he died of a drug overdose a few weeks ago on November 15, which is probably why this song is here. When I read about him, he was labeled as an emo hip-hop artist whose songs were about very depressing subjects such as drug use and suicide. This song is definitely emo as he sounds angry that this relationship has been burned down to the ground as he wants the girl to say awful things to him so that it helps him get through things without her. But this song isn't rap or hip-hop. This is more like alternative rock. Which makes me curious to know how much like Linkin Park this whole album sounds like. I wonder how I would've felt about this guy had he not just passed away, but would this have charted if he were still alive? As is, it's kinda sad and somber listening to this in context. This is certainly much better than most of the awful things that have hit the charts this year.
86- "End Game" - Taylor Swift featuring Ed Sheeran & Future -- Taylor Swift still hasn't released her album on any streaming platforms, so I will forgo giving my opinion on this until I have a way of listening to it. I will say that Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran sounds like a good collaboration. We've had that before on her album "Red" with the song "Everything Has Changed," which is a song I enjoy. Including Future, though, does not sound like a good idea. He usually ruins everything he touches. Because of that, I'm not expecting to like this song when I'm able to hear it.
90- "Home" - Machine Gun Kelly, X Ambassadors & Bebe Rexha -- Machine Gun Kelly. A white boy rapper that thinks he's a lot more cool than he is, but is no where close to the levels of the likes of Eminem and Macklemore. At the same time, though, I find him more tolerable than most of the rappers that come through the charts. On this song, MGK is talking about home in a way that's not anything special or unique when compared to the million other songs that are also titled "Home." But it's serviceable. We get a break from MGK on the verses, which is X Ambassadors and Bebe Rexha, who really feel more like afterthoughts on this song. Especially Bebe. I really like her as a singer, but she's used as more of a backup singer on this song, which is unfortunate. If MGK would've given her more to do, I would've been happier. Then we could've left X Ambassadors as the afterthought on the chorus. So overall this song comes off as very average. And when I noticed it's from the upcoming Netflix movie "The Bright," things made sense. It feels perfect as a serviceable filler track on a movie. If this is the big song this movie will be leaning on, that's a bit worrisome.
92- "When We" - Tank -- This song's titled followed by the artist name made me laugh. "When We Tank" should be a song about a losing sports team who's decided to tank for a good draft pick. But no, the artist calls himself Tank and his song is "When We." My question going in was, when we... what? Was this going to be a vague, meaningless song talking about nothing? That's not quite what we get here. The answer to this is, when we... make love with each other. And that's me editing it. So we have a slow, boring song from an R&B artist about making love with a girl that is neither sexy, nor interesting. In fact he's acting like an aggressive jerk in this song, sleeping with her not because he cares about her, but because he wants his own personal pleasure. Yeah, get this song away from me.
95- "Beautiful Trauma" - P!nk -- "Beautiful Trauma" is the second single from P!nk's new album, also called "Beautiful Trauma." It makes sense for her to release the title track from the album as her next single, even though I've been expecting her to release the Eminem collaboration "Revenge," especially since his new album is coming up. Seems like the perfect chance. But oh well. I'll take this song. I don't like it quite as much as "What About Us," but the idea of beautiful trauma is an interesting one. As P!nk said on twitter, life is very traumatic, but also quite beautiful with lots of great people. I also like the phrase in the song "my perfect rock bottom." With this being the opening track, it's a great way to open the album before we dive into all the other themes P!nk discusses.
96- "No Smoke" - YoungBoy Never Broke Again -- This is not a name I was excited to see on the charts again. But I guess we're making YoungBoy a thing. The hook in this song isn't bad, so I'll give him that. It made me wonder if this would be a tolerable rap song, but then we got to the verses and YoungBoy pushed on the gas really hard, but he didn't seem ready for it as he slurs, mumbles and falls all over himself as he crashes through those verses. As if he wrote the song without practicing it, then went straight to the studio where he recorded the song for the first time and turned it into a train wreck, but was too lazy to go back and smooth it out. That's all I got here.
98- "The Rest of Our Life" - Tim McGraw & Faith Hill -- Isn't it sweet and romantic? Tim McGraw and Faith Hill finally made an album together! And this is the song that starts the album off as Tim and Faith tell each other how much they love each other and how they will always feel young for the rest of their lives. It's kind of a sweet, mushy song that I don't really care for too much for. They have great chemistry as a couple and I'm sure those who have been fans of these two will really love this album, but I've never really cared too much for Tim McGraw. I sometimes have liked Faith Hill. But I don't know, this song just doesn't connect with me like romantic wedding songs should. I'm sure they had fun doing this and I'm sure people will like it, but it's just not for me.
99- "Written in the Sand" - Old Dominion -- Another country song that I don't really care for. That means we're 0 for 2 this week with our country songs this week. Whoever the singer is in Old Dominion, I don't care enough to look it up, he's trying to figure out what his relationship is with this girl. He can't decide if they were written in the stars and simply need to work things out or if they're written in the sand and are destined to be washed away. It feels kinda empty to me, lacking any depth or true meaning. At least Tim and Faith seemed to be having a good time with their song.
100- "Faking It" - Calvin Harris featuring Kehlani & Lil Yachty -- I recently listened to Calvin Harris' new album "Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 1" from earlier this year as the whole album showed up on the EDM charts during the summer. I usually enjoy Calvin Harris as more of a guilty pleasure EDM artist. Most of his songs are extremely simple and mostly the same, but he has a knack for coming up with a good enough beat that his songs grow on me as fun, harmless EDM songs that are worthy of playing at dance parties. This whole album was a mess, though. "Slide" and "Cash Out" were decent enough to start the album, but the rest of the album was completely uninteresting as he tried to cash in on the huge wave of hip-hop. Every single song has a different hip-hop artist featured and most songs also include a popular pop star tagging along as well. And it doesn't work for me. None of the songs are interesting. And none of them have the classic Calvin Harris beat that makes his song so fun at dance parties. With this song, Kehlani is droning on in boring fashion for most of the song, giving us cliche, boring pop lyrics while Lil Yachty comes in for a third verse feature. There's no drop. No dance beat. Little sign at all of Calvin Harris.
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